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August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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my blog
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stevehein Offline
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Post: #1
my blog

i just noticed this blog forum category.

so here is what i want to talk about now...

someone wrote this

My grandmother is such a prick

I sat on the couch 2 hours ago, and me and my younger sister were listening to music. My grandmother storms in and asks ''Are you two stupid or what, which one stupid or intelligent?'' Don't sit on my couch!
I believe we have the right to sit on the couch because that is what couches are for, sitting in!
Of course she believes she has the right to control everything to her pleasure but still it's a couch.
It's dumb that she gets mad over ''her'' couch being sat on, of course the only people allowed to sit on the furniture is my grandfather, my older sister, and my ''grandmother'' herself. If that weren't enough we can't sit in the chairs in the dining room, because she believes we will break them, oh gaia

===

im gonna use it to offer a mini lesson on emotional literacy


first, dont say my grandmother is such a bitch. u are labeling her, not ur feelings.so say how you feel.

u feel controlled for example.

u feel hurtful it sounds like
hostile it sounds like

u feel "wronged" and discriminated against in the sense it unfair that others can do things u cant

also, dont talk about who has a right to what. in my experience that is a waste of time. talk about who needs what. she has a need to control.

she has it. its just like she has a wart on her nose.

its there. ur not gonna change it or id say chance of doing so are so cose to zero they might as well be considered impossible

so those are a few things..

it hurts that pple dont read my writing. like about emotional literacy and rights

here are two links

http://www.eqi.org/elit.htm



http://www.eqi.org/rights.htm
(This post was last modified: 07-07-2014 11:14 PM by stevehein.)
07-07-2014 05:16 PM
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stevehein Offline
Pariah

Posts: 536
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Post: #2
emotional bank account

here is the link, for sr

http://www.eqi.org/eba.htm


(This post was last modified: 07-07-2014 11:21 PM by stevehein.)
07-07-2014 11:10 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Posts: 18,240
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Post: #3
my blog

Building an Emotional Bank Account with Your Employees
^ Hah, this made me think of SS a lot. Lots of good ideas.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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07-08-2014 03:43 AM
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stevehein Offline
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Posts: 536
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Post: #4
support

so two pple from here said i could talk to them

i wrote to both of them

i wrote to one about 4 days ago. havent heard from her
another one said we could chat sometime. so i made a chatzy chat room. last night. so far, havent heard anything from her either

if u are not suicidal, not in extreme pain, or not feeling it at least ie not distracting yourself or numbing it, u dont really get how long 8 minutes is

i use 8 because that is how long i had to wait for a reply to a yes or no quetion once when i was chattingwith someone

when she came back she didnt say sorry that took me so long

it is really getting painful to wait for pple to reply when i am chatting with them

they are always besiy doing other things of consequcnce - as the littl e prince said
07-08-2014 05:22 PM
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stevehein Offline
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Posts: 536
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Post: #5
july 12 writing

http://www.eqi.org/p3/unfin/july12.htm
07-12-2014 10:08 PM
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stevehein Offline
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Post: #6
sofie's visit

> Dear Steve

> It was nice meeting you and talking to you!I decided to go to Montevideo first and after I will see where I will stay a while. I will probably come back to Colonia but I don`t know when.
> About your place, I don`t really understand what you need people for. If it is to clean up your garden, I think that can be done in 1 or 2 days!! Biggrin Interviewing you still seems fine to me but that can also be done in 1 or 2 days!
> Martin`s place is very nice and the price is fine too. It is a good place to write but I don`t see many reasons to stay there for a long time so I am a bit undecided till now. I hope you understand I need to have a better view on Uruguay and its options.
> I will contact you when I am back! greetings and hugs, Sofie


my reply...
i am sorry you did not understand much or value me and my ideas and experience much. or at least i did not feel valued and understood. i felt a bit judged.

it was and is a bit painful for me to be very honest

it was/is also painful to see how little empathy you felt or showed for me and priscilla and angela - or putting it another way, at least i did not feel much empathy.

i feel very sad thinking that you could have learned so much from me and we could have done so much together - for example making the films that we had talked about. it hurts that you say it could be done in 1 or 2 days. it was my illusion that we would have many, many things to talk about and we would interview many people and you would value and appreciate the opportunity to spend time with me and value the contacts i have here.

it is quite painful actually and disillusioning. i felt more alone after you left. and i was already feeling alone and depressed. i saw in your eyes how you felt when you left as you looked down and away when you turned to go.

it helps me when someone listens to me but it has to be with empathy and understanding. i was afraid i was talking too much but i was feeling a bit desperate for someone to listen to me.

i am in so much pain these days it is almost all i can think about - and yesterday i learned young father i know here in la paz killed himself. two days ago. i had talked to him about 2 weeks ago. he told me many things but told me not to tell anyone. i feel guilty that i didnt tell someone - but after thinking about it a long long time i still do not know who would have cared or helped him in a way he would accept the help. he was a police officer btw. his wife had recently left him. and evidently charged him with some kind of abuse. i suspect that such an embarrassment was the last straw for him. it is still hard to believe. he was here at my place several times and was one of the first people in la paz to help me - he came here and helped me install the hot water heater - we rode on his motorcycle to get the parts. it is really hard to believe he is gone now.

s
07-13-2014 03:59 AM
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stevehein Offline
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Posts: 536
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Post: #7
feeling forced

again i tried to send a private message without putting in a subject
and i got stopped.

there were two lines. they both say "please..."
here is the second one

You did not enter a subject for your message. Please enter a subject.

but there is no "plase" about it

i am forced to put something in the subject line if i want to send the message.

ir hurts that i cant send a message without a subject

that is one source of pain

but i think it hurts more than the programmers wrote the message as "please" when that is a lie.

this is like so much of society.

i dont know if sr wrote those lines that say Please... i feel bad thinking she wrote them herself. i dont want her to feel criticized or defensive. i worry about my relationship with her because i think i am even more in need of freedom than she is, let's say. in other words i feel more pain from being forced to do things

and i will say maybe i feel a greater need for truth - because it is untrue to say please and then force someone - at least the way i see it

i remember one time clearly when i saw a mother say to her son, please come inside now

but very quickly she was threatening him

the way we use please, as i understand it, comes from
if it pleases you -- in french it is still siil vous plai

which literally means if it pleases you

it does not please me to always have to put in a subject when i send a pm- as just one example

i used to write programs myself. i know that it is up to the programer what he or she requires

but if something is going to be required or forced then i would change the message

first - i might say * for required fields so you know right up front what is required.

that is a big improvement right there

second i would change the response the program gives when u dont put in a subject

for example i might say - sorry to have to stop you from sending your mesagage but our system requires you to put in a subjec because _____

and then give an intelligent reason why

i say intelligent because i have heard so many explanations for things that are NOT intelligeht

i wrote about this here

http://www.eqi.org/intans.htm
(This post was last modified: 07-13-2014 08:28 PM by stevehein.)
07-13-2014 08:27 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #8
my blog

OK, I'm gonna try and hack that PM subject thing so that it works when blank, or at least change the message. I often don't really want to fill in a subject either, so I just put in 'hi'... but that's kind of pointless.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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07-14-2014 12:02 AM
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 Thanks given by: stevehein
stevehein Offline
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Posts: 536
Joined: Dec 2007
Thanks: 116
Given 327 thank(s) in 188 post(s)
Post: #9
missing priscilla

here is something i wrote to a friend of ours, meave...


here is a pic of the warehouse -


that is priscilla in the back. seeing her makes me feel very sad... she was so unique. i feel kind of privileged to have been able to spend so much time with her.

you know how we used a zero to ten scale a lot. usually when i asked her how ok she was feeling she would say around 7. one day i asked her if she had ever felt a ten and she said yes, the day we met in paris.

that really makes me cry now...

(This post was last modified: 07-14-2014 12:58 AM by stevehein.)
07-14-2014 12:49 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #10
my blog

I'm not seeing the pic... did you remove it?

Hug

PS: Changing the error message and adding *'s was easy. Actually making it work without a subject will be a bit more complicated.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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Hidden stuff:
07-14-2014 02:38 AM
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stevehein Offline
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Posts: 536
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Thanks: 116
Given 327 thank(s) in 188 post(s)
Post: #11
RE: my blog

yeah i moved the pic sr...


and i copied the new error msg before i saw ur msg... so i will paste since i have it handy..



Please correct the following errors before continuing:

For some silly reason, this thing will not function with a blank subject... so in order to get it to send your message, you will have to put something in there.


ha ha i like that one better... yeah some silly reason -thats about all one can say i guess! thanks for trying...
07-14-2014 08:00 AM
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awesomejuan36912 Offline
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Post: #12
RE: my blog

(07-07-2014 05:16 PM)stevehein Wrote:  i just noticed this blog forum category.

so here is what i want to talk about now...

someone wrote this

My grandmother is such a prick

I sat on the couch 2 hours ago, and me and my younger sister were listening to music. My grandmother storms in and asks ''Are you two stupid or what, which one stupid or intelligent?'' Don't sit on my couch!
I believe we have the right to sit on the couch because that is what couches are for, sitting in!
Of course she believes she has the right to control everything to her pleasure but still it's a couch.
It's dumb that she gets mad over ''her'' couch being sat on, of course the only people allowed to sit on the furniture is my grandfather, my older sister, and my ''grandmother'' herself. If that weren't enough we can't sit in the chairs in the dining room, because she believes we will break them, oh gaia

===

im gonna use it to offer a mini lesson on emotional literacy


first, dont say my grandmother is such a bitch. u are labeling her, not ur feelings.so say how you feel.

u feel controlled for example.

u feel hurtful it sounds like
hostile it sounds like

u feel "wronged" and discriminated against in the sense it unfair that others can do things u cant

also, dont talk about who has a right to what. in my experience that is a waste of time. talk about who needs what. she has a need to control.

she has it. its just like she has a wart on her nose.

its there. ur not gonna change it or id say chance of doing so are so cose to zero they might as well be considered impossible

so those are a few things..

it hurts that pple dont read my writing. like about emotional literacy and rights

here are two links

http://www.eqi.org/elit.htm



http://www.eqi.org/rights.htm


my blog would suck,

cause seriously, it would only include me sitting down at a computer.
12-31-2015 06:29 AM
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awesomejuan36912 Offline
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Posts: 54
Joined: Dec 2015
Thanks: 13
Given 14 thank(s) in 9 post(s)
Post: #13
RE: my blog

(07-07-2014 05:16 PM)stevehein Wrote:  i just noticed this blog forum category.

so here is what i want to talk about now...

someone wrote this

My grandmother is such a prick

I sat on the couch 2 hours ago, and me and my younger sister were listening to music. My grandmother storms in and asks ''Are you two stupid or what, which one stupid or intelligent?'' Don't sit on my couch!
I believe we have the right to sit on the couch because that is what couches are for, sitting in!
Of course she believes she has the right to control everything to her pleasure but still it's a couch.
It's dumb that she gets mad over ''her'' couch being sat on, of course the only people allowed to sit on the furniture is my grandfather, my older sister, and my ''grandmother'' herself. If that weren't enough we can't sit in the chairs in the dining room, because she believes we will break them, oh gaia

===

im gonna use it to offer a mini lesson on emotional literacy


first, dont say my grandmother is such a bitch. u are labeling her, not ur feelings.so say how you feel.

u feel controlled for example.

u feel hurtful it sounds like
hostile it sounds like

u feel "wronged" and discriminated against in the sense it unfair that others can do things u cant

also, dont talk about who has a right to what. in my experience that is a waste of time. talk about who needs what. she has a need to control.

she has it. its just like she has a wart on her nose.

its there. ur not gonna change it or id say chance of doing so are so cose to zero they might as well be considered impossible

so those are a few things..

it hurts that pple dont read my writing. like about emotional literacy and rights

here are two links

http://www.eqi.org/elit.htm



http://www.eqi.org/rights.htm


my blog would suck,

cause seriously, it would only include me sitting down at a computer.
12-31-2015 06:29 AM
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