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August 2001 - June 2017
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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
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I sometimes feel a surreal anger towards society, towards life, towards everything. This anger is not destructive, but nor is it constructive. Everything just feels, annoying. Life is annoying, your face is annoying and the words you spit towards me are annoying. This is not your fault, nor anyone's.
Art is annoying, it pisses me off. Same with music, I love music but it pisses me off sometimes too. This anger is discording.
This isn't a phenomenon I feel often, it's actually kinda rare. It's a phenomenon I define as black locust outrage.
There is no proper method to experience this, although I find that it occurs while doing several different pieces of work (Partially artistic, partially scientific) and listening/looking at any kind of dadaist or surrealist stuff.
Black locust outrage is interesting because it isn't just your normal subjective feeling of anger. Black locust outrage is entirely subjective, it is not an emotion. There is no genus crocus, there is only black locust.
(07-08-2014 10:26 PM)SwiftEscudo Wrote: I sometimes feel a surreal anger towards society, towards life, towards everything. This anger is not destructive, but nor is it constructive. Everything just feels, annoying. Life is annoying, your face is annoying and the words you spit towards me are annoying. This is not your fault, nor anyone's.
Art is annoying, it pisses me off. Same with music, I love music but it pisses me off sometimes too. This anger is discording.
This isn't a phenomenon I feel often, it's actually kinda rare. It's a phenomenon I define as black locust outrage.
There is no proper method to experience this, although I find that it occurs while doing several different pieces of work (Partially artistic, partially scientific) and listening/looking at any kind of dadaist or surrealist stuff.
Black locust outrage is interesting because it isn't just your normal subjective feeling of anger. Black locust outrage is entirely subjective, it is not an emotion. There is no genus crocus, there is only black locust.
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Black locust Outrage
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