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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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SS Forums Priorities
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SoulRiser Offline
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SS Forums Priorities

I have realized that SS can't be everything to everyone, so we need to define SS so that we know what belongs here and what belongs elsewhere...

This is what matters the most on SS:

1.
Sensitive people need to feel safe and respected (or at least accepted) here, regardless of what they say or do.

Other priorities:

* Discussing school stuff, alternative education, ways to learn, etc.

* People should be able to get help with communicating with their parents, particularly about getting to try alternatives.

* People should be able to talk about any weird beliefs or theories they might have, without it degenerating into a huge argument or debate (unless they want it to).

* People should be able to just vent without being offered advice or criticism (including the constructive kind), unless they actually want those things.

* People should be able to talk about just about anything without restriction (free speech), as long as it doesn't interfere with any of the other priorities.

Why are sensitive people so important to me?

If 16 year old me had to find SS and decide to sign up, I would need to feel safe and accepted just the way I am. I was very sensitive and insecure back then. Even the slightest hint of feeling judged or embarrassed because of something I said would make me want to leave and never come back... like I wouldn't be able to face those people again.

Sure, I'm fine now. Now I can handle just about anything... but it took many many years for me to get this strong. I made SS for people like me... it's very difficult to be strong when you've been verbally abused for a long time, or even worse... and I'd argue it's probably impossible to recover without the support of caring people...

This is the #1 most important thing for SS to do, as far as I'm concerned. We can make various rules and whatnot to try to achieve this, but rules are meaningless if people don't understand why they are there. This is why. There is absolutely no way in hell that this priority will EVER change... trying to change my mind about it is futile. If you don't agree with it, fine, maybe this is not the site for you, then.

But I also care about the people who disagree with my priorities, and I believe they should also have a place where they feel safe and accepted... we're kind of working on branching out, making a SS "network" of different sites with different priorities. I'm not sure how that will work exactly, but if this particular forum isn't meeting your needs, maybe you should try making your own... some people are already doing that. Maybe we should set up a topic about that somewhere...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a VPS and a wiki to set up...

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SS Forums Priorities

I would consider adapting how the subforums work; different places would have different expectations (which is why it's so important that threads be moved to the proper location). Perhaps we might even need more, along the lines of an "Edgy Bar" or another "Voices In Your Head".

This way, sensitive people would have their niche, and insensitive people would have theirs, and no harm would come of it.

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SS Forums Priorities

Maybe. But things tend to spill over when people don't think before they post...

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SS Forums Priorities

(07-01-2014 02:04 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Maybe. But things tend to spill over when people don't think before they post...

This is why I think it's important for the forums to help people learn how to do that.

We all know school-as-usual doesn't do a great job of helping people learn to think, or intelligently and mindfully use social media in general. Let's "be the education" we want to see in the world.

Other people are producing content and resources that explain things to interested audiences... look at Crash Course, various vloggers and bloggers, and the like. Let's make all of this a new learning environment including beyond the forums themselves.

Also, I do think we could do more on the forums to provide explicit areas for specific kinds of interaction. I think one key to making that work is to explain in some detail the how and why of each of these modes of interaction.

(I'll respond to the OP in another reply.)

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RE: SS Forums Priorities

Here's my take on this all:
http://forums.school-survival.net/showth...?tid=33580

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SS Forums Priorities

http://forums.school-survival.net/showth...#pid537818

My response here.

Hugboxism is not a true, working system. It is bound to either end in decay or reform. The second is more likely and something I see happening. Something that perhaps, is already happening.

If we can consider my four suggestions, perhaps we can all begin to see eye-to-eye and get something decent working out.

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RE: SS Forums Priorities

(07-01-2014 01:58 AM)DoA Wrote:  I would consider adapting how the subforums work; different places would have different expectations (which is why it's so important that threads be moved to the proper location). Perhaps we might even need more, along the lines of an "Edgy Bar" or another "Voices In Your Head".

This way, sensitive people would have their niche, and insensitive people would have theirs, and no harm would come of it.

I agree with having a subforum serving a purpose similar to what "Voices in Your Head" served in ancient SS times where no hostility hugbox rules apply. I'm not so keen on an "Edgy Bar" though. Whatever purpose that would serve is already being served by Random, imo.

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SS Forums Priorities

I think the new 'hugbox' area should span several forums.

'Hugbox' area:
Welcome
School Talk & Venting
Our Ever-Shifting Imaginations
new Voices in your head... I guess we need one. can replace the "Psychology" part of the Philosophy, Psychology & Politics forum.

Serious area: (no shitposting, try to be civilized, use complete sentences, etc)
Everything else except the basement?

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RE: SS Forums Priorities

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  I think the new 'hugbox' area should span several forums.

'Hugbox' area:
Welcome
School Talk & Venting
Our Ever-Shifting Imaginations
new Voices in your head... I guess we need one. can replace the "Psychology" part of the Philosophy, Psychology & Politics forum.

Serious area: (no shitposting, try to be civilized, use complete sentences, etc)
Everything else except the basement?

yh sounds good

The basement is an integral part of our forums, though. I think we should re-open the f®ag arena too, just make it very clear from the start that its a free-for-all place for things ranging from sharp analytical debate to angry diatribes. Besides, basement participation isn't compulsory. It's always been a thing you can opt-in and out of, but to the participants it can be seen as a really important part of the forums.

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SS Forums Priorities

I suppose the Frag Arena can come back... as long as the only people who get dissed in there are people who volunteered for it.

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SS Forums Priorities

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  I think the new 'hugbox' area should span several forums.

Agreed, though I disagree with the how the word "hugbox" in thrown around in a lot of these conversations.

The dichotomy between "hugbox" and "DnE-style free speech" is both false, and presents a horribly limited worldview to people who are making sense of the world.

As Soul wrote on the thread about rules, "With great power comes great responsibility" -- and this doesn't just apply to "running things," but how we all interpret things and choose to interact.

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Welcome

Yes, this should be a safe space. In fact, I can see value in limiting replies in welcome to people on a list of people who volunteer specifically to welcome and get to know people. Just an idea. This area should not be an immature, "scare people off" zone.

(I know that, back in the day, that was the main thing Welcome was for... but it sets a certain kind of tone that doesn't necessarily inspire people to take the site seriously. As as much of a role as there is for silliness, it should have it's place with the overall site priorities in mind.)

In general, I think we could do better at welcoming people, in the forums as well as on the chat. This includes asking questions to get to know about a person's situation and how the forums could help them out (and even if not... we can always offer to direct them elsewhere.)

I have a whole set of ideas about improving the welcome/"onboarding" experience, but I'll make a separate thread for that.

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  School Talk & Venting

It might be worth breaking this section up a bit.

(1) A lot of people come here with dysfunctional family situations, mental health issues, loneliness/isolation, and general life issues. Maybe we need a "Life Talk" section? ("Life Support?" Razz)

(2) "School Talk" could potentially be more than just a venting section. This may well well include talk about how schools can work differently in a positive sense, discussion about dialogue with educators (including one's own teachers), and so on.

At present, "Youth Rights" is the topic were some of those more productive discussions are sort of supposed to go on... but "Youth Rights" is arguably a pretty specific topic, more narrow than changing things.

Not all change / improvement follows from "Rights" in the traditional sense... some just follows from people making things happen! Smile

As for "School Venting" -- often that does overlap with other kinds of venting, like about family and life... and even how bad the forums are Razz

Maybe we could have a single vent/compassion subforum? (Just an idea.)

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Our Ever-Shifting Imaginations

This is one subforum where posts should really indicate the kind of responses someone is looking for... some people may be looking for substantive, honest, even critical feedback... though mindless fragging should not be part of it.

(07-02-2014 11:03 PM)SoulRiser Wrote:  new Voices in your head... I guess we need one. can replace the "Psychology" part of the Philosophy, Psychology & Politics forum.

Definitely, we should break apart "Psychology" from Philosophy & Politics. I would hide Philosophy & Politics... at least require logging in. It's kind of a tangent from the main purpose of the site, especially the way many people discuss these topics (as debates / arguments / info-dumps / preaching vs. "figuring things out" in a learning sense.)

I don't think "Psychology" needs to be a "hugbox," but it shouldn't have snarky, fraggy nonsense in it. This is something I'd really like to help people look at in a different way.

Sometimes the best way to provide support is to confront people with the truth... but unlike the popular false dichotomy, the truth need not be either snarky fragging or a distorted hugbox version of it. There's something to be said for empathy, reflection, and tact... including what's called bedside manner in medicine.

"I’ve also experienced more direct unpleasantries from doctors who project an icy, or even a rude demeanor. A poor bedside manner does affect a patient’s emotional disposition; it does heighten any anxiety, and it certainly ensures difficulty in forming a positive bond with a professional who’s in a field that’s supposed to alleviate illness."

That's something for people to think about for those who want to call people out or confront them with "the truth" as they see it... with the justification that it's a form of helping. If that's the actual goal, think a bit more about delivery.

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SS Forums Priorities

I think we should bring back VIYH or something like that.

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SS Forums Priorities

Lots of good ideas in there, xc... Not sure how, but somehow I haven't gotten around to a lot of computer time the past few days... o_O

But I like the ideas we're all throwing around here and in the other thread about the rules.

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(07-03-2014 05:21 AM)Chanku Wrote:  I think we should bring back VIYH or something like that.

Agreed, something like that... but I think we have the pieces and allies to make a much more interesting and helpful psychology-related subforum... both for support, and for helping people learn about psychology concepts (which are often very relevant to dealing with psych issues.)

Also, several of us have psychology as core interests, including in the form of applying it to help people... so that's something to consider, vs. past eras of SS.

(It's been my interest since the beginning, but I think I have a lot better sense of how to to actually apply some of the ideas.)

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I also like the idea of a support and learn about yourself & psychology forum, all in one. Kind of what I wanted Mindality to be, but that didn't really take off.

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(07-03-2014 02:17 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  I suppose the Frag Arena can come back... as long as the only people who get dissed in there are people who volunteered for it.

I'm against this. We can encourage people to do that on another site. If they must, Random works just fine for a limited amount of that. And yes, only people who volunteer...

On that note, would someone like to explain (in another thread) why it's worth spending time dissing people, anyway?

Keep in mind, people come here who are still figuring out life, who they are, and what's open to them. If they find a supportive forum that also promotes a culture of superficially dissing people, the outcome will be different than one which promotes thinking, getting to know people, understanding where they're coming from, and so on.

I don't see those skills on display when people go around dissing each other. Critiques based on actual understanding, I can see a role for... but that's a very different kind of business.

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School Talk > Student Talk?
Based off Xcrits statement of how not everything in School Talk is about school directly.

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shut down the basement
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(07-06-2014 01:03 PM)Trar Wrote:  shut down the basement

Locked the doors, toss napalm through the vents and let it burn.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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RE: SS Forums Priorities

(07-06-2014 01:03 PM)Trar Wrote:  shut down the basement

My butthurt senses are tingling.

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