That "Friend"

[Illuzion]

You know that friend I talked to you about awhile back? Well we're not friends anymore. Keep in mind I wasn't thinking straight today and I acknowledge I was acting stupid. Alright today in class I learned it was him who has been picking at my nametag and everyone else's for that matter. So I scribbled on his as a way to say "fuck you" (still in a relatively good mood at this point). I have OCD and everyone is aware of this so people constantly picking at my name tag is a pet peeve of mine. Of course this wasn't like a huge deal or anything (or even a big deal for that matter) I'll get to that. So we went on our five minute hallway break and when I come back guess who's scribbled on my name tag, but him. I was like "Are you fucking kidding me?". So I took the childish approach letting myself be blinded by my emotions and grabbed his pencil case as a means to get his attention as this was pissing me off and he tried snatching it out of my hands. I walked across the room and asked him "What the hell?". He then was frantically grabbing at the pencil case as if I was gonna murder it or something and he pushed me knocking me into a cabinet at this point the teacher had long since noticed what was happening and he was trying to get our attention. I was more than pissed and I complied with the subs wishes and had a seat. I wrote him a letter expressing I didn't wish to be friends anymore and I didn't forget to add this was probably at least partially my fault.

This breakdown was bound to happen I have no idea what I was thinking trying to be friends with this person. Our personalities really clash and he's very arrogant as his undermining comments suggest.

Overall I think this day expresses nicely that I'm still human and still childish. I'm not always able to keep my cool not many are. I mean what the fuck was I thinking? Hopefully tomorrow is better don't really want to go at the moment, but fuck I don't give a shit anymore just a week left until I can spend the summer months with my birds. At least I have my other friend and perhaps my only friend at this time.

Have your regrets, but always stay strong, from yours truly Illuzion. <New signature

[Ky]

It sounds like anxiety is really getting to you. At least you tried to end the friendship on good terms; I don't know very many people who are that moral.

Perhaps you could have handled it better, but what matters more that what you've done is what you're going to do. How do you think you can prevent yourself from acting that way in the future? By considering this, you might be able to gradually learn for yourself how to keep your cool and not act "childish," as you say.

[brainiac3397]

Perhaps it would be best spending time controlling your emotions brought upon by pet peeves. If it's something that affects anything or anyone outside yourself directly, then its completely illogical to behave in such a destructive manner.

In the end, an individual does not need to be at the mercy of YOUR pet peeves.

I too have my own pet peeves yet I've found that behaving "rationally" in cases where the emotion wants to burst has yielded calmer and more positive results over all. Even if it's not necessarily immature or childish, the simpleton mind of most of todays technology brainwashed humans will see it as so.

[Illuzion]

(06-18-2014 02:21 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Perhaps it would be best spending time controlling your emotions brought upon by pet peeves. If it's something that affects anything or anyone outside yourself directly, then its completely illogical to behave in such a destructive manner.

In the end, an individual does not need to be at the mercy of YOUR pet peeves.

I too have my own pet peeves yet I've found that behaving "rationally" in cases where the emotion wants to burst has yielded calmer and more positive results over all. Even if it's not necessarily immature or childish, the simpleton mind of most of todays technology brainwashed humans will see it as so.

I suppose so. The build up really is what got me angry. Dunno guess sometimes it's days like this where I'm fed up I have to go to school and deal with situations like this. I'd much rather be sitting around with my birds teaching them to talk and such.

[Illuzion]

(06-18-2014 02:12 PM)DoA Wrote:  It sounds like anxiety is really getting to you. At least you tried to end the friendship on good terms; I don't know very many people who are that moral.

Perhaps you could have handled it better, but what matters more that what you've done is what you're going to do. How do you think you can prevent yourself from acting that way in the future? By considering this, you might be able to gradually learn for yourself how to keep your cool and not act "childish," as you say.

Oh definitely. I am constantly learning from my mistakes and missteps.