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Big train of depression
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Dirtbikemike Offline
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Post: #1
Big train of depression

I've come to the conclusion that I'm very depressed.

Stop. Don't tell me to not kill myself. I know. I'm too aware of death and I'd never do that. I think too much. I don't believe in a god and I logically think that your brain produces a conscience and when it's gone it's gone and over. No, I'm not killing myself.

Most of the depression is rooted in school. It's come to the point where a new assignment is assigned and I already feel disappointed and depressed about the school system and it ruins my day before I even start the essay or assignment. I took the red pill and I feel the reality of how much all of this matters: not at all. In the end none of it matters but we're forced to "deal with it". That's a favorite of mine, "you're going to have to do things you don't want to do" the problem is that I've been doing that for so long it's inevitable that I'll be depressed. School is a big train of shit I don't want to do.

Done.

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(01-13-2012 10:37 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Mike you deserve an SS medal. Here, be proud:
[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
Congrats for doing something I never had the balls to do.
If you have kids, save them from the bullshit you are forced to go through.
(01-25-2012 05:36 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Balls of steel re-awarded. 
(02-07-2012 03:22 PM)flann Wrote:  Balls of Tungsten, now.

I found a picture for tungsten balls
http://bit.ly/xqd1zk

(02-14-2012 03:17 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Your balls are denser than white dwarf star matter.
(03-13-2012 08:27 PM)M3116 Wrote:  Balls of steel re-re-reawarded Nutter

(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
05-06-2014 04:18 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Big train of depression

Totally understandable. Those "life sucks, get used to it" reasons for complying with school just don't cut it, especially anymore. Too many people agree, and are looking to transform education these days.

That leads into a set of questions:

What would you like to do instead?

Having a vision for the future, and a path to it, might help with the depression.

What are your options for taking another option, beyond school-as-usual?

(I can help research/brainstorm those if you want.)

Do you have a sense of what you'd like to do for work going forward?

Do you need more school / credentials to do so?

If so, maybe there's a better way to get them, based on doing relevant and interesting learning.

Also, you're already working, or you were, right? What's that like?

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05-06-2014 05:06 AM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #3
Big train of depression

I wish there was someway I could help. Some of my depression kind of subsided after I left school over a year and a ½ ago.

"You're going to have to do things you don't want to do" – I've heard that and so many variations of it and it makes me raging mad. That is the cause of A LOT of problems. People are just too lazy to do anything about it or just don't really care or are even against it because it doesn't follow the norm.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
05-06-2014 05:36 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #4
Big train of depression

I'm just amazed that I'm not the only depressed individual who doesn't consider suicide a legitimate answer.

Speaking of which, I hope my depression subsides soon. Assuming I pass math, I'm graduating this month, which will get me out of the reach of those oppressive stress-inducers that run the institutions of indoctrination.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
05-06-2014 06:42 AM
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Alistoriv Offline
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Post: #5
Big train of depression

I agree with xcriteria, "just deal with it" is incredibly unnaceptable, That kind of attitude is legitimately the worst thing possible, for depressed people and perfectly happy people. You can always change things, no matter what anyone tells you. There are things that are unchangable but you can't dwell on those things. While I'm sure that you've heard this advice a million times over, you really need to focus on the things that do make you happy. It's a real cliche, but it's the truth.

In response to DoA, I've been depressed to the point where I'd rather just be dead, but I never considered that an option. There are people that care about me and I wouldn't want to hurt them even if I legitimately don't care about myself. While I've accepted that I will never truly be happy, as my variety of underlying mental problems prevents that, my depression has subsided. I'm sure it will happen again, but realizing that shit does fucking suck has helped a lot. If I can mostly ignore things that mess me up and focus on stuff I like, I'm much happier.

TL;DR "Life sucks deal with it" is a shitty attitude but I mostly live by it and have been getting along pretty well

RIP GORE GOROTH
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(03-20-2013 05:08 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Stand up with pride and say "No! I will not be a McDonalds employee. I WILL BE A GARBAGE MAN!"

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05-06-2014 07:17 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #6
Big train of depression

Life is opportunity, not suffering. Those suck-y aspects of life that have gotten me down can and must be destroyed, or at least reformed. That is why I campaign for the separation of school and state. That is why I wish to ease the suffering of others. And that is why I am going to become a psychologist.

Anyway, Dirtbikemike, don't give up hope; remember, you have balls of steel. Your bravery and determination will lead you to success even where others fail.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
05-06-2014 08:58 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #7
Big train of depression

Just deal with it?

Then I guess a bat to your face is something you'll just have to deal with cuz ya know, life sux. Or maybe I steal your wallet but life sux. I burn your house? life sux. I joyride in your car, take a dump in it and drive it off a cliff? Life sux. I hide your mail? life sux. I tell your boss you're a sex offender pedophile? life sux. I tell your spouse your cheating on them? life sux. I run over you dog? life sux.

Wait, it doesn't? OH THEN WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO?

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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05-06-2014 09:14 AM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #8
RE: Big train of depression

(05-06-2014 09:14 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Just deal with it?

Then I guess a bat to your face is something you'll just have to deal with cuz ya know, life sux. Or maybe I steal your wallet but life sux. I burn your house? life sux. I joyride in your car, take a dump in it and drive it off a cliff? Life sux. I hide your mail? life sux. I tell your boss you're a sex offender pedophile? life sux. I tell your spouse your cheating on them? life sux. I run over you dog? life sux.

Wait, it doesn't? OH THEN WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO?
I was playing SWTOR but the Gamesux. Hahaha sorry I had to say that cause I used to troll my server with an anonymous character named Gamesux who would just spam "This game sux" in General Chat. Razz

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
05-06-2014 09:26 AM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #9
RE: Big train of depression

(05-06-2014 04:18 AM)Dirtbikemike Wrote:  I've come to the conclusion that I'm very depressed.

Stop. Don't tell me to not kill myself. I know. I'm too aware of death and I'd never do that. I think too much. I don't believe in a god and I logically think that your brain produces a conscience and when it's gone it's gone and over. No, I'm not killing myself.

Most of the depression is rooted in school. It's come to the point where a new assignment is assigned and I already feel disappointed and depressed about the school system and it ruins my day before I even start the essay or assignment. I took the red pill and I feel the reality of how much all of this matters: not at all. In the end none of it matters but we're forced to "deal with it". That's a favorite of mine, "you're going to have to do things you don't want to do" the problem is that I've been doing that for so long it's inevitable that I'll be depressed. School is a big train of shit I don't want to do.

Done.

Oi, this sounds like a boatload you're going through.

I agree with what pretty much everyone has said. "Deal with it" is such a bullshit platitude that it doesn't have to be. It's not just about believing, but it's all about effort. If you believe that some effort can be done to improve your situation, than let that guide you. As 2Pac said, "Long live the rose that grew from concrete".

What do you plan to do in the summer? Is there any small volunteering you could possibly do? A detailed plan you might want to make?

I'd also suggest that during the summer, explore any interests you have. Ever since I've gotten on here I've found that I have a massive love for psychology as well as helping people. If you can't think of any, I'd say take a MOOC like xcriteria has suggested.

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05-06-2014 09:46 AM
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Slick Offline
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Post: #10
Big train of depression

I know exactly what you mean. School likes to become a cycle with your emotions for some reason. It's got to the point where I look at it as "whatever". I don't really feel the need to quit, but at the same time, I don't really give a shit either.

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05-06-2014 10:25 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #11
Big train of depression

Hug
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05-07-2014 02:02 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Big train of depression

Update: I quoted the OP in a comment on this G+ thread from Justin Schwamm.

I encourage all of you to check it out, and consider adding to the conversation there.

If school is a key contributor to the depression... and a range of similar problems in so many people... let's make the most of the growing number of allies we have who are eager to change things. Maybe that could help provide a path out of depression....

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

ASDE Newsletters: #1 Announcement | #2 History of ASDE | #6 Education Liberation


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05-07-2014 03:16 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #13
Big train of depression

I added to the conversation by means of shameless self-promotion. Razz

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05-07-2014 06:25 AM
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