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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.
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Intone Offline
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Post: #1
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Here's the lovely note my father had taped onto my monitor today. I read it as soon as I got back from school. (Oh, and I'm 13.)

"I saw your Report Card last night. UNACCEPTABLE. You have choices... bring those grades up or begin losing privileges. I will start with the computer. Beginning now there will be no computer usage until all school work is completed. If I find out that this is not being done I will erase the entire hard drive. This is not a negotiation. The only reason we have reached this point is because of your actions.

1st priority tonight... You have a Yearbook project due. Your teacher e-mailed us to let us know that you were behind on that project. It gets completed before anything else. After that you will begin completing whatever other assignments/homework from your other classes which need to be done.

At 8:00 (earlier if the above is all completed) you may use the computer. The computer time ends at 10:00.

These are the consequences for how you have handled your responsibilities. I don't want to go to extremes but I will."

I don't blame you if tl;dr. Let me shorten it for you: "I AM A FORCE NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH. /rage. I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR ONLY SENSE OF JOY."

I nerdily quote Darth Plagueis, a Sith Lord from Star Wars:

"Tell me what you regard as your greatest strength, so I will know how best to undermine you; tell me of your greatest fear, so I will know which I must force you to face; tell me what you cherish most, so I will know what to take from you; and tell me what you crave, so that I might deny you."

Anyways, I ignored him and got on at 4:00 or so and began researching the problems with lifestyles like mine, and those around me. I should be doing homework right n--Nah, I'm good.

Yesterday I raged like crazy. I vented. I kept myself bound to getting arrested of course. I follow a type of rage--a type out of two that I've classified.

Hot rage: Hot rage... it's like an explosion, something that is out of your hands. You don't guide your actions, but your rage does. All barriers that emphasize tolerance are blown down. When it boils over you, you are severely weakened. It's the only endgame waiting for you. I speak from experience.

Cold rage: Cold rage. I am now its adherent after learning from hot rage. It is a standstill mechanism, something that doesn't ripple until the time is right. It presents new insights and in most instances, they are rightful. It's silent. Sometimes, it can be used for the better, or it can be used to strengthen resolve. Cold rage guided me to School Survival, where people I've never even met before an hour ago helped me find solace. It's not the ending stage of these things, but it comes right after hot rage.

Just a bit of my musings and reflections. This is what I'm going through right now. I'd love to elaborate on that through the progression of this particularly common dilemma's resolution.
(This post was last modified: 04-23-2014 10:41 AM by Intone.)
04-23-2014 10:39 AM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #2
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

It seems to be an all to common pattern: bad grades and we'll punish you.

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04-23-2014 10:42 AM
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Intone Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

(04-23-2014 10:42 AM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  It seems to be an all to common pattern: bad grades and we'll punish you.

It's incredibly difficult to get good grades when you're without any collection, sufficient information/time to remember, freedom, liveliness, motivation, or real friends.
04-23-2014 10:44 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #4
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Personally I've found doing absolutely nothing when forced/threatened worked.
"Oh? You say no computer till I do homework? How about I give up computer and do nothing at all? You'll certainly enjoy that won't ya?"

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-23-2014 10:47 AM
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Intone Offline
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Post: #5
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Wish I had your kind of strength. Unfortunately, all of my joy and my friends come from a computer.
04-23-2014 11:01 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #6
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Are you a parallel universe version of me? (One that's, like, four years younger, though?)

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-23-2014 11:03 AM
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no Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Your father should not have been born.

(of course that means that you wouldnt be born either in that circumstance... hmm... on the other hand that means less total suffering.)

So as sadistic as it sounds, the world would actually be better off if we killed all the humans.

Huh.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
04-23-2014 11:07 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #8
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Humans are pretty resilient creatures.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-23-2014 11:11 AM
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Intone Offline
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Post: #9
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

"Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown."

The Office quote, by Michael Scott.
04-23-2014 11:13 AM
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TheShadow Offline
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Post: #10
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Taking your computer away for bad grades.... I never understood that concept. It's like parents expect you to immediately go to work. Most of us will either find something else to enjoy or just do nothing and do homework when they feel like.

"They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as the truth, rather than truth as the authority" -Gerald Massey.

"The creative person is usually rebellious. He or she is the survivor of a trauma called education." -Anonymous person

"Reward and punishment is the lowest form of education." -Chuang Tzu
04-23-2014 08:59 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #11
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Hug

He said he'll wipe the hard drive eh? Better make backups.

Although something tells me that's a bluff.

I don't get why people freak out so much over some stupid numbers no-one will care about years from now.

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04-24-2014 12:31 AM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
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Post: #12
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

BE GOOD AT THE BORING SUBJECTS THE GOVERNMENT GIVES YOU OR ELSE YOUR DATA WILL BE GONE

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For anyone who remembers me going on an archive binge: Thank you all. I know I ended it being a drama queen, I don't really agree with the ideology anymore, and I'm really not the same person I was (I went through a neopagan phase!) but still this site was the first online community I was in. I graduated from school and turned 18. Time flies. KFC Nyan Cat, June 20, 2019.
04-24-2014 05:34 AM
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Asphoxia Offline
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Post: #13
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

The same thing's happening with me right now. Except slightly less severe. My parents just threatened to take away my computer and change the password. I responded by changing the password before they could, and backing up important files on an encrypted portion of my flash drive as .txt files. If your computer isn't password protected, I'd suggest password protecting it with a password that only you know. Is there any way you could get a flash drive? You could back up important (obviously a term that doesn't apply to school) files on it, and keep it hidden from your parents if they wipe the hard drive.
04-24-2014 07:13 AM
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Intone Offline
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Post: #14
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Well I've been deleting my YB teacher's emails after changing my father's password via phone verification. I gave someone the money to get a flash drive for me and I'm saving what I need on a .txt. Lastly, I made a new PC password and pretended I knew nothing about. Now my parents are led to believe that it's a result of a recent glitch they had with Microsoft passwords.

One step at a time. Biggrin
04-24-2014 08:59 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #15
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

The deception is strong with this one.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-24-2014 09:08 AM
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Chanku Offline
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Post: #16
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Also use a encryption software(there's one posted somewhere one the forums...well a link that is), and encrypt the HDD

Pretty Much my only signature...I'm mainly a lurker....you can find me on the IRC (or on DnE and their IRC).

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04-24-2014 09:13 AM
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Trar Away
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Post: #17
Tyranny, a dangerous weapon.

Secure your computer/data (and keep it hidden) and fight tooth and nail. Use your local public library to access this site if you need to. Libraries are great.
04-26-2014 04:26 AM
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