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High school crushes: what do?
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Rusty Shackleford Offline
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Post: #1
High school crushes: what do?

So, one of my friends told me a while (actually a long while) that he has a crush on a girl. The girl is your standard hipster redhaired fare, but it's my friend who's the problem, as he has no way how to deal with this.

I would like to ask those who have (or have had) crushes in high school how they deal with this. My friend has asked me for advice, and as I've never had a crush, I don't know what to tell him. Is it best to surpress your crush or act upon it?

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04-23-2014 06:11 AM
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Post: #2
High school crushes: what do?

Depends on maturity. If you feel both the girl and your friend are mature enough, he should act on it. If not, no.

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04-23-2014 06:24 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #3
High school crushes: what do?

I believe crushes are mostly formed from immaturity and lack of experience. Especially since the concept of it is loving and hoping to be loved, which is unrealistic. Love doesn't just happen.
(Love at first sight is more like love created by the subconscious processing of the senses gathering information about the person you have fallen in love with)

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-23-2014 06:30 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #4
High school crushes: what do?

Crushes are lust-driven by nature.

I know I'll sound uncharacteristically unlike myself by giving this advice, but tell your friend he'd be happier if he were to ignore his crush. If he really can't do that, he's too far gone: tell him simply to indulge in porn or something of that variety.

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04-23-2014 06:44 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
High school crushes: what do?

It's like romantic lust. Complete obsession.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-23-2014 06:48 AM
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

Lust or not, he should talk to her and see where it goes. If nothing else, he'll get some experience with talking to people he's interested in. There's no reason not to.
04-23-2014 06:54 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

(04-23-2014 06:54 AM)Sharpie Wrote:  Lust or not, he should talk to her and see where it goes. If nothing else, he'll get some experience with talking to people he's interested in. There's no reason not to.

Depending on how he talks to her...

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-23-2014 07:01 AM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #8
High school crushes: what do?

I remember I had a crush on this girl I met. It grew into something more but I never asked her out or anything. I'm just too shy to be the one to initiate. =\

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04-23-2014 07:34 AM
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Rusty Shackleford Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

OK, I have read all your posts and I'll try and summarize your advice, to see if I understood you correctly.
DoA and Brainiac both see crushes as 'lust-driven' (a bit heavy handed and biblical, but anyway), while (I believe it was Sharpie?) says he should at least talk to her, and another person said it depended on the maturity of my friend and his crush.

Well, now for my commentary. I'm leaning towards advising my friend to crush his emotions for his crush (no pun intended) and ignore her, but I don't think he will listen.

As for the other option, talking to her (dependent on maturity), there's another problem. My friend can be really mature, but he has projected a mask of the immature class clown on himself, and I don't know if his crush sees him this way. His crush is practically the most mature girl I know, so she's a non-issue.

So, nothing definitive yet. Keep the advice coming.

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04-23-2014 04:00 PM
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Post: #10
RE: High school crushes: what do?

Man just tell your friend to talk to her, you can't judge how it'll turn out and base your decision on it like that before you even do it.
04-23-2014 05:58 PM
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TheCancer Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

You can't win if you don't enter. If you get a crush throw your hat in the ring. Not trying is the same as being rejected. No reward. Even being rejected comes with a little interaction and excitement. If she's not into it, now you know for sure and you got a little practice in for the next one. There's literally nothing to lose!

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04-23-2014 08:49 PM
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Post: #12
High school crushes: what do?

Agree here with Sharpie and TheCancer. It's worth trying. If you lose, at the very worst nothing comes out of it except perhaps a little BS high school publicity.

The only thing to overcome though is the shyness.... it's even worse when you're already socially anxious.

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04-24-2014 02:37 AM
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darkmind15 Offline
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Post: #13
High school crushes: what do?

go to starbucks and start hating almost everything
04-24-2014 03:00 AM
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Rusty Shackleford Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

OK, I'll advise my friend to at least try talking to the girl. And Darkmind, what do you mean by going to Starbucks and hating on everyone?

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04-24-2014 04:06 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #15
High school crushes: what do?

I often forget people aren't as socially awkward as I am. Yeah, your friend should probably talk to her.

On another note, do people often come to you for advice? Just curious.

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04-24-2014 07:50 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #16
High school crushes: what do?

Try talking?

Better leave out the try.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-24-2014 08:38 AM
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Ky Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

(04-24-2014 08:38 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Try talking?

Better leave out the try.

Do. Or do not. There is no try. - Yoda

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04-24-2014 08:42 AM
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Rusty Shackleford Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

(04-24-2014 07:50 AM)DoA Wrote:  I often forget people aren't as socially awkward as I am. Yeah, your friend should probably talk to her.

On another note, do people often come to you for advice? Just curious.
Not often, but if they ask, I try to provide, and if I can't give good advice for their specific problem, I ask others to help me. I don't have 'wise old man' status or anything.

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04-24-2014 03:12 PM
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darkmind15 Offline
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Post: #19
High school crushes: what do?

it was ment to be a joke but seriously just talking to the person clears the air and usually eases the situation works for me anyways
04-24-2014 11:57 PM
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Stadium Offline
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High school crushes: what do?

Just talk to her, ffs

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04-25-2014 01:56 AM
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Elfy Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

What everybody else is saying. Just do eet. Although if you need some examples of a scenario.

Start off the conversation with a question, is she browsing books? Ask her for a recommendation (avoid anything like 'do you come here often? Laugh ). This gets the ball rolling on some non awkward conversation that you can easily follow up with conversation that would have seemed awkward to begin with but now, is not. After a short conversation or so make your interest noticeable by complimenting her or say she seems cool and ask her if she'd like to go for a coffee or easy going activity with interaction if she has the time - if not don't stress it - leave your number and just keep it casual with a hint of flirty interest, the confidence of you making a subtle move on her and adding interest with a bit of mystery will leave her something to think about.

And if it doesn't work out? Worry not, she was only a crush and if she is not interested a relationship just wouldn't work so it's not worth worrying about anyway, you'll only be dissapointed at the attributes you gave her when you had a crush when you realise it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.

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04-25-2014 02:08 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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High school crushes: what do?

Dibs on "wise old man" status. Beard to support it.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-25-2014 12:26 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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High school crushes: what do?

^that plus you're starting to grey up over there. Biggrin
04-25-2014 12:38 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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High school crushes: what do?

In fact I have a single piece of pure white hair on my head I'm protective of.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-25-2014 01:13 PM
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Post: #25
High school crushes: what do?

Brainiac, please tell me you look and act like this.

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As for the thread? I would agree that you should talk to her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Try not to worry about any sort of high school rumor mill, because it's ephemeral by nature (as long as you ignore it and remember it'll be worth shit in 4 years or so). I never had this sort of opportunity; I wasted what chances I did have in school (granted it was middle school) that were close in comparison, and so I would personally appreciate it if you at least tried.
04-26-2014 04:25 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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High school crushes: what do?

As a general rule, I ignore & suppress all crushes. Only if it's based on a long-standing close, trusting friendship, will Ieven remotely consider a relationship.

But that's just me.

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Elfy Offline
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RE: High school crushes: what do?

(05-02-2014 11:52 PM)Ario Wrote:  How would I get rid of one if there is no point in hanging out with her because you're two different people and my brain is stupid as hell for not choosing a manga character instead?

How do you get rid of a crush? Stop thinking about her altogether, in a world of over 7 billion people you will find someone that is not so different from yourself.

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05-03-2014 12:07 AM
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High school crushes: what do?

^Easier said than done.

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05-03-2014 10:46 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #29
High school crushes: what do?

The sensation of a "crush" is simply a sensation you may over emphasize due to proximity to the person of interest and the time spent around them.

I personally find a crush nothing more than a ping on a sensor indicating a higher degree of interest in said person, rather than succumbing to it like a junkie on skooma.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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RE: High school crushes: what do?

(05-03-2014 10:49 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  The sensation of a "crush" is simply a sensation you may over emphasize due to proximity to the person of interest and the time spent around them.

I personally find a crush nothing more than a ping on a sensor indicating a higher degree of interest in said person, rather than succumbing to it like a junkie on skooma.

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