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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Masquerade
Author Message
Illuzion Offline
Christoph

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Post: #1
Masquerade

I hate masquerading as the perfect student when on the inside and when I'm alone I'm really just a foul mouthed asshole. I don't think I can take it much longer if I have to keep this up. Oh well suppose I'll make the best of it until I can get out of this and leave to somewhere far away where society will allow me to be a foul mouthed, arrogant, baby punching asshole.

-Illuzion

Have your regrets, but always stay strong from yours truly, Illuzion.
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2014 01:41 AM by Illuzion.)
04-12-2014 12:53 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #2
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 12:53 PM)Illuzion Wrote:  I hate masquerading as the perfect student when on the inside and when I'm alone I'm really just a foul mouthed asshole. I don't think I can take it much longer if I have to keep this up. I just stole some shoes yesterday if you weren't already aware and I'd be surprised if anyone accused me or saw me. Oh well suppose I'll make the best of it until I can get out of this and leave to somewhere far away where society will allow me to be a foul mouthed, arrogant, baby punching asshole.

-Illuzion

I masqueraded as some beta shy smart kid all through K-12.

Then the natural badass in me revealed itself(manifesting itself through my uber-manly beard unnatural for most other inferior 18 year olds). It could also just be all that testosterone. I'd still say I'm smart though...

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
04-12-2014 12:58 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #3
Masquerade

I masquerade (present tense) as a genius. I even do that on here.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-12-2014 12:59 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #4
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 12:59 PM)DoA Wrote:  I masquerade (present tense) as a genius. I even do that on here.

Did I ever mention that your current avatar makes me want to shove a spear through my monitor?

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
04-12-2014 01:01 PM
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Illuzion Offline
Christoph

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Post: #5
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 01:01 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  
(04-12-2014 12:59 PM)DoA Wrote:  I masquerade (present tense) as a genius. I even do that on here.

Did I ever mention that your current avatar makes me want to shove a spear through my monitor?
I can't tell who you're talking to. You hate Pokémon or something?

Have your regrets, but always stay strong from yours truly, Illuzion.
04-12-2014 01:04 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #6
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 01:01 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  
(04-12-2014 12:59 PM)DoA Wrote:  I masquerade (present tense) as a genius. I even do that on here.

Did I ever mention that your current avatar makes me want to shove a spear through my monitor?

Yes, you have mentioned that. What about it irks you?

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-12-2014 01:07 PM
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Illuzion Offline
Christoph

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Post: #7
Masquerade

I need to change my avatar right now Razz

Have your regrets, but always stay strong from yours truly, Illuzion.
04-12-2014 01:14 PM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
suck 360 blazeit hooks

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Post: #8
Masquerade

Then stop.

City YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/kfcnyancat
City Tumblr: http://kfcnyancat.tumblr.com (no longer operational due to personal issues)

"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence" - Donald Rumsfeld

For anyone who remembers me going on an archive binge: Thank you all. I know I ended it being a drama queen, I don't really agree with the ideology anymore, and I'm really not the same person I was (I went through a neopagan phase!) but still this site was the first online community I was in. I graduated from school and turned 18. Time flies. KFC Nyan Cat, June 20, 2019.
04-12-2014 09:48 PM
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Gwedin Offline
dumb shithead

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Post: #9
Masquerade

You're all a bunch of fucking fucks who I would gladly behead had I the chance.

Quickest Derail 2014.
04-12-2014 09:52 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #10
Masquerade

To return to the topic, it's interesting to see that many people feel the need to hide their true personalities - to "masquerade" as though they were someone else. Perhaps our society is not receptive to the personalities of certain individuals? Maybe people are afraid that revelation is a weakness, that they could be exploited by people who know what they consider deep secrets? And I suppose some of them could just be shy.

What's interesting, also, is that these masks don't conceal everything. I'm rather intuitive; if I'm paying attention, I can pick up on someone whose behavior betrays their cognition. If I tell them about it (in less science-y terms), they freeze up, as though I'd just revealed a horrible secret the world was never supposed to know, even though I can clearly see it. Many assume I'm silently judging them, when really I'm passively observing. And, I mean, who doesn't want the ability to see through disguises?

It seems that the masquerade is two-fold; people don't want to be identified, but at the same time they may want to identify others.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-13-2014 12:10 AM
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Illuzion Offline
Christoph

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Post: #11
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 09:52 PM)Gwedin Wrote:  You're all a bunch of fucking fucks who I would gladly behead had I the chance.

Quickest Derail 2014.
Well that escalated quickly.

Have your regrets, but always stay strong from yours truly, Illuzion.
04-13-2014 01:40 AM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #12
RE: Masquerade

(04-12-2014 12:53 PM)Illuzion Wrote:  I hate masquerading as the perfect student when on the inside and when I'm alone I'm really just a foul mouthed asshole. I don't think I can take it much longer if I have to keep this up. Oh well suppose I'll make the best of it until I can get out of this and leave to somewhere far away where society will allow me to be a foul mouthed, arrogant, baby punching asshole.

-Illuzion

I actually know exactly how it feels. I don't know... it's somewhat strange to be a School Survivor yet no one knows your true identity. Definitely though my behavior in school has changed a lot to say the least.... I try to pretend to give a damn about my grades. Unfortunately though, I have tutorial class, so every damn week I'm forced to see them and given flak for it.

One day though I think I'll reveal myself as a School Survivor.... though not in the "revolutionary" way Rebelnerd would want me to be.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

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04-13-2014 07:21 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #13
Masquerade

It's called a handle, and I meant DoA's avatar. I don't know why it irks me but it just does.

Then again I'm brainiac, and brainiac is me. So...

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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04-13-2014 09:02 AM
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Username Offline
Drunkard

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Post: #14
Masquerade

ITT everyone explains how fake they are
04-13-2014 11:00 AM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #15
Masquerade

Pretty much

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
04-13-2014 02:38 PM
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Gwedin Offline
dumb shithead

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Post: #16
Masquerade

(04-13-2014 11:00 AM)Sharpie Wrote:  ITT everyone explains how fake they are

i feel so fake like i'm wearing a mask all the time i just wish people could understand the REAL me and be friends with the REAL me i'm sick of pretending

#tumblritup
04-13-2014 07:18 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #17
RE: Masquerade

But...but your consciousness is contained within your mask!

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
04-14-2014 12:46 AM
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