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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Why I am scum. Also, sex.
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no Offline
True Scotsman

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Post: #1
Why I am scum. Also, sex.

Another useless bitchy post. Since when do I ever do this here, this much?...

I. Am. SICK.

Not sick of anything specific. just SICK.

sick as in mentally sick. an EVIL EVIL PERSON WHO MUST BE DESTROYED

There is no place I am safe. After all, there is "no peace to the wicked," and I'm the most wicked piece of shit you will ever encounter.

For one thing, I believe in sexual freedom. Of course, people who believe this are worthless serial rapist murderer piles of useless cartilage, because my particular "flavor" of sexual freedom says: This applies to HUMANS. HUMANS is a species. And because I think all creatures with human DNA should be regarded as human, I evidently should NOT be regarded as human and I am scum. Thus is the true order of the universe.

For example let us take a certain game I enjoy.

I will say nothing about it in detail because I know people on ss say its "tedious" and have never heard of it and obviously are very hateful of me bringing it up, because whatever it is I like, I like because I am an evil person and I like evil things. But for the perhaps 0.00000000001% of people who give 0.00000000001% of a shit, I've become semi active in this game's community. Suddenly I see this one forum thread and I know I was mistaken. This is not a place where I am accepted.

Hidden stuff:
http://knucklecracker.com/forums/index.php?topic=15697.0

Well, shit, you say, aren't you overreacting a bit? What's so wrong with one guy/gal on the interwebs saying something you disagree with?

Well, for one he/she used the words "disturbing" and "inappropriate." As though those were universal constants. Do you remember the days when "inappropriate" meant "not applicable to the situation," and not "I AM ZE THOT POLEESE!!!11!"? God dammit I would love to have lived in those days and fuck the lack of technology, so long as there are books.

What's more is that other people on the forum, INCLUDING THE DEVELOPER OF THIS GAME, have said the same sort of things (with regard to "appropriate.") And yet till now I've ignored it. Why? Because the guy who said this is the closest thing I have to a "fan."

I'm seriously considering making the following reply:

Hidden stuff:
<devilsadvocate>
Oh no, skin! It's not like we're made of the stuff or anything!
</devilsadvocate>

But if I do that I probably risk getting banned. And right now, I'm basically getting all the attention I need from feedback to maps I have posted. I say need because I'm an absolute attention whore who needs to learn how to do everything and let someone else take credit, and never get acknowledgement for anything except the faults of others, because that is how humans best function and if I cannot function like that I must not be human.

What's more is I have absolutely no right to believe in this. Not just because I am not human as outlined above. But rather because the only thing vaguely "attractive" about me would be, um, oh yeah, GRAVITON EMISSION. I am ugly beyond all belief. And what's more I need help, and any male who needs help -- and heaven forbid it be emotional help -- is worthless and not a man.

Let me be clear, this is not some random obese dude worried about dying a virgin or any BS like that. Because A. I'm not fat (though nor do I have any muscles to speak of, which makes me NOT A MAN and MUST DIE HE IS UNWORTHY OF HAVING A DICK [which i never asked for but who the fuck cares, i lost the genetic lottery and its my fault so i must pay]) and B. I've basically resigned to the fact that I have absolutely no positive qualities, and trying to pass on such genes is an unspeakable crime against humanity. Even "safe sex" is risking total destruction of the species, and that wold in any case require me to not be worthless. Being worthless only invites rejection, don't ya know?

But beyond that is the whole feminazi culture, every girl thinks that every guy is out to rape them. So I've had very bad luck with male friendships and judging from the way females act and think (most of the ones I've seen anyway) they're not going to be much help in that department (or any). I'm basically going to be very very lonely till the day I die.

So, let's go over the facts once more. A TL;DR, if you will.

1. There is no community on earth that will accept me. (Not even this one... I hate to say it but diversity makes you watch your back. I never feel completely accepted here, but a bad-fitting glove is better than a hand-shaped grindstone and that's why I stick around.)
2. As detailed in my last thread, I am not capable of keeping friends.
3. Sex. Not happening. Ever.

Please... convince me that life is worth living.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
03-14-2014 03:38 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
Site Founder

Posts: 18,240
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Post: #2
Why I am scum. Also, sex.

Quote:a bad-fitting glove is better than a hand-shaped grindstone and that's why I stick around.
Laugh
You have a way with words. Razz

So... on to why life is worth living... currently, it seems like you're surrounded by idiots. Okay, fine, you don't have that much control over where you are or who you spend time with... yet. But when you do, you need to get as far away as possible from whoever you're currently around, and go meet different people. Different cultures, preferably. There's a LOT more to the world than what you're currently seeing, and currently it seems you're obsessing over all the negative stuff, and either there really isn't any positive stuff around you, or you're too busy not seeing it due to said obsession with negative stuff.

Hug

If the glove doesn't fit... don't try to force it. Get a different one... or just don't wear gloves. Screw gloves, anyway... that's what hands are for, and yours are fine. Not really sure what my point here is... I don't entirely fit in anywhere either, but I'm okay with that. Nobody on earth understands me 100%, and I've stopped expecting anyone to. Some people understand some parts of me, others understand other parts... that's probably about as good as it can get.

Sounds like you need to...
1) Find more people with brains
2) Stop beating yourself up over every little thing

I think whichever one of those things you do will help with the other one.

And that stuff about males not needing emotional help is bullshit... they do. They can cry too, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But mostly, getting as far away as possible from people that make you feel like shit will help a lot.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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03-14-2014 11:16 PM
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rockstarjim22 Offline
"I see no god up here, only Doge"

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Post: #3
RE: Why I am scum. Also, sex.

(03-14-2014 03:38 PM)planetfall666 Wrote:  2. I am not capable of keeping friends.

I'll be your friend and stay one if that's okay Smile I'm not kidding either.

I am 14, and have my own computer repair business! And I'm a small time DJ also. No joke.

If you need tech support, PM me. Everything's free of charge. I use Teamviewer in case it's needed.

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[Image: 42486.png]
03-15-2014 05:59 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #4
RE: Why I am scum. Also, sex.

(03-14-2014 03:38 PM)planetfall666 Wrote:  1. There is no community on earth that will accept me. (Not even this one... I hate to say it but diversity makes you watch your back. I never feel completely accepted here, but a bad-fitting glove is better than a hand-shaped grindstone and that's why I stick around.)
2. As detailed in my last thread, I am not capable of keeping friends.
3. Sex. Not happening. Ever.

Please... convince me that life is worth living.
Gladly.

First of all, keep in mind that you are very much an accepted part of this community. You're practically one of the cornerstones by this point. The few users I suspect of not accepting you are the unintelligent and trollish ones I keep on my ignore list. You've made a name for yourself here; don't let your gloom take that from you.

Second of all, you kept me, and while I might not say much, I'm not exactly fair-weather or dishonest. Perhaps you just don't consider others your friends, and haven't realized that many others might consider you one.

Finally, don't be so sure of that. Yeah, you might have to wait awhile, but it'll happen. If anyone is unlikely to get some, it's me - I'm highly socially awkward (to the point at which sometimes it is impossible for me to so much as form a coherent sentence when speaking), I don't exactly have any of the qualities people think of when they think of good sex partners (and am especially lacking in confidence), and to top it all off, I'm not remotely interested in it. Regardless, I still have hope for the future, even if it does seem a long way off.

All in all, you don't have so much to worry about on this front. Well, I mean you can worry about it if you want to, but you've got a lot going for you.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
03-15-2014 06:33 AM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
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Post: #5
RE: Why I am scum. Also, sex.

(03-14-2014 03:38 PM)planetfall666 Wrote:  I. Am. SICK.
Why do you think this. I learned a while ago that the people who think they are sick are actually the least sick.

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For anyone who remembers me going on an archive binge: Thank you all. I know I ended it being a drama queen, I don't really agree with the ideology anymore, and I'm really not the same person I was (I went through a neopagan phase!) but still this site was the first online community I was in. I graduated from school and turned 18. Time flies. KFC Nyan Cat, June 20, 2019.
03-15-2014 09:14 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #6
Why I am scum. Also, sex.

* brainiac3397 grabs a glove and smacks planetfall666 across the face

stfu coward and stop speaking for the rest of us sick evil bastards.

1.Make your own community. Can't find a door to go through, build your own goddamn door so the other pathetic saps who don't know carpentry can enjoy your door.
2.If you can't keep the friends, they must not really be friends. Then again it's a cultural thing I think. From where I come from, friendship is strong like camaraderie. When you say a person is a friend, you generally mean they're like relatives. From what I've seen in the US, "friend" is more "yeah I know that guy and we share a beer or two".
3.Your left hand is enough, and there is no risk of pregnancy and probably a lower chance of STD(if you keep your hand clean).

Plus there are 7 billion people on this planet. Your statement is illogical. Obviously your sick mind is still in it's infant stage of localist views. You must be like God and be everywhere and everything! Mwahaha

tl;dr
brainiac is batshit psycho with a god complex and believes planetfall should kiss a shiny metal ass.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
03-15-2014 09:28 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #7
Why I am scum. Also, sex.

While I'm not a fan of its delivery, somehow I suspect that brainiac's response is the most likely to get through. Lol

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
03-15-2014 10:33 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #8
Why I am scum. Also, sex.

I felt like Mr.T there for a minute.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
03-15-2014 11:20 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #9
RE: Why I am scum. Also, sex.

(03-15-2014 11:20 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  I felt like Mr.T there for a minute.

I pity the school.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
03-15-2014 11:27 AM
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