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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Maturity
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Cianna200 Offline
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Posts: 948
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Post: #1
Maturity

''Maturity'', a word that get's tossed around a lot but many people forget what it means. As many of us can see, there is much immaturity in school and so on. Maturity has little to do with age. The Female guardian of my household is the oldest and the boss but she is undeniably the most immature person in the home with her constant ''I want this! ''I want that!'' ''Do as I say!'' ''What I say goes!'' ''I will knock you out!'' Noo Yet she calls everyone ''stupid'' or lacking good sense. Let's investigate the qualities that define a mature person.

1. Respect: Is respect earned or given? It's both, but mature people give more respect than demand it.

2. Kindness: Kindness is not an attribute of immature people. People show who they are by the way that treat others.

3. Selflessness: Mature people are not only self concerned but selfless. Immature people have excuses to be selfish, such as ''I'm busy'' or ''You don't give me what I want.''

4. Responsibility: Mature people own up to their mistakes, even when it is difficult

5. Unconditional love: Unconditional love is affection without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love accepts that no one is perfect, but the love is still there. Mature people show unconditional love for their family and friends, and maybe even those who hurt them. ''A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." -Mahatma Gandhi

6. Little complaining: Mature people have almost no time for complaining

7. Not fighting fire with fire: Mature people don't feel the need to lash out at others who lash out at them.
8. Short anger span: Anger is a healthy yet painful emotion. Mature people don't allow anger to control them and quickly release it.

9. Forgiveness: As a wise person whom which I am ignorant of once said ''Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other to die.

10. Moral happiness: Mature people show great delight in the good of the world, they also know how to be the friendliest friend of humanity. They also know how to have good fun.

11. Humbleness. Arrogance: Believing you are better, believing any living thing is higher than the other, believing that ''you are more important.'' A humble person believes all are equal.

12. No spiritual Hatred. Mature people feel hatred for no living thing, they feel hatred for bad actions and man made inadequacies.

13. Compassion. Hug

14. Bearing suffering: This is a huge one, suffering is a fact of life and it is by free will that you create or run away from suffering. There is a good side to suffering, it can help you in the long run. A person who is able to deal with suffering respectably, comes out a stronger person. Beautiful sadness. Cries
15. Patience. Mature people display patience.
16. Optimistic. Mature people have fears but they are not afraid to admit it and pursue their dreams.

Education: No not school or college Smile Education is a lifelong process. Education has nothing to do with school. To get an education one must learn from and practice the attributes of a mature person.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2014 05:27 AM by Cianna200.)
03-05-2014 04:47 AM
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Stadium Offline
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Post: #2
Maturity

meh, disagree. almost none of these are traits of maturity imo

No, this is Patrick.
03-05-2014 04:52 AM
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Cianna200 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Maturity

(03-05-2014 04:52 AM)Stadium Wrote:  meh, disagree. almost none of these are traits of maturity imo

What is your definition of mature?
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2014 04:55 AM by Cianna200.)
03-05-2014 04:55 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Maturity

I think that's a good list, though I'll quibble with #2 and #15.

#2, I agree with your underlying point, but I don't like the terms "selfless" and "selfish," and what they imply about the "self." They imply that the self is bad, or limited to the ego-consciousness of one point in time. If you define the "self" differently, those terms take on a different meaning.

Very often, "selfish" is used as a criticism... in some cases, for doing such things as enjoying life, item #10. The idea behind "selfish = bad" is that anything in one's self-interest is a short-term and harmful act. I'm not sure what the replacement word for that should be, but mindless, thoughtless, and short-sighted come to mind.

#15, education certainly goes beyond school, but I think it's worth keeping in mind that schools can work in different ways than the "factory-model" format many of us are familiar with. In an effective, joyful learning environment, meaningful learning could take place, even it's in a school. Small quibble, but I think changing how people define school is one way we can change how people think about education.

Thoughts on that?

I'm also reminded of several related links:

(1) Desu's post The Maturity Climb from 2010 (which Hansgrohe also posted in 2012.)

(2) Hansgrohe's post "Maturity" kills creativity (to an extent), which references a darker use of the term "maturity" to mean giving up on life, in many ways. That darker meaning of maturity has a very different meaning of the brighter one described in the list above, and in that maturty climb graphic. (Though I also take issue with a couple of elements on the maturity climb list...)

@Cianna200, and others... a question then is how one applies the brighter view of maturity in practice in a world that some see as dark and hostile. Is it possible to live a "good life," and practice the virtues of a positive view of maturity, even when circumstances seem hopeless, the people around one seem to act like brutes, and even when there aren't many examples around of that rosier conception of maturity?

(On that note, this video & thread about defining the term "good life" seems relevant... How 29 Change-Makers Define a Good Life.)

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03-05-2014 05:50 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Maturity

(03-05-2014 04:47 AM)Cianna200 Wrote:  ''Maturity'', a word that get's tossed around a lot but many people forget what it means. As many of us can see, there is much immaturity in school and so on. Maturity has little to do with age. The Female guardian of my household is the oldest and the boss but she is undeniably the most immature person in the home with her constant ''I want this! ''I want that!'' ''Do as I say!'' ''What I say goes!'' ''I will knock you out!'' Noo Yet she calls everyone ''stupid'' or lacking good sense. Let's investigate the qualities that define a mature person.

1. Respect: Is respect earned or given? It's both, but mature people give more respect than demand it.

2. Kindness: Kindness is not an attribute of immature people. People show who they are by the way that treat others.

3. Selflessness: Mature people are not only self concerned but selfless. Immature people have excuses to be selfish, such as ''I'm busy'' or ''You don't give me what I want.''

4. Responsibility: Mature people own up to their mistakes, even when it is difficult

5. Unconditional love: Unconditional love is affection without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love accepts that no one is perfect, but the love is still there. Mature people show unconditional love for their family and friends, and maybe even those who hurt them. ''A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." -Mahatma Gandhi

6. Little complaining: Mature people have almost no time for complaining

7. Not fighting fire with fire: Mature people don't feel the need to lash out at others who lash out at them.
*
8. Short anger span: Anger is a healthy yet painful emotion. Mature people don't allow anger to control them and quickly release it.

9. Forgiveness: As a wise person whom which I am ignorant of once said ''Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other to die.

10. Moral happiness: Mature people show great delight in the good of the world, they also know how to be the friendliest friend of humanity. They also know how to have good fun.

11. Humbleness. Arrogance: Believing you are better, believing any living thing is higher than the other, believing that ''you are more important.'' A humble person believes all are equal.

12. No spiritual Hatred. Mature people feel hatred for no living thing, they feel hatred for bad actions and man made inadequacies.

13. Compassion. Hug

14. Bearing suffering: This is a huge one, suffering is a fact of life and it is by free will that you create or run away from suffering. There is a good side to suffering, it can help you in the long run. A person who is able to deal with suffering respectably, comes out a stronger person. Beautiful sadness. Cries
*
15. Patience. Mature people display patience.
*
16. Optimistic. Mature people have fears but they are not afraid to admit it and pursue their dreams.

Education: No not school or college Smile Education is a lifelong process. Education has nothing to do with school. To get an education one must learn from and practice the attributes of a mature person.

RAAGGEEEE! You forgot those spaces(noted by the asterisks)

If not one of these 16 represent maturity even a bit...then the definition of maturity must undoubtedly be:
[Image: ngbbs484cd13d21424.jpg]

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
03-05-2014 06:36 AM
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