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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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...As if I even have to tell you
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WhatEvenIsThis Offline
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...As if I even have to tell you

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(This post was last modified: 07-01-2020 10:30 AM by WhatEvenIsThis.)
02-20-2014 02:37 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

Have you ever considered doing a rant in audio or video form?

I'm curious what these rants sound like...

(In the chat, we were playing with the idea of recording speeches last night. Any ideas for how to translate these into a spoken form? Either by you, or write a script for others to perform.)

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02-20-2014 02:59 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

By the way, who did you talk to that had bad effects? And what were they?

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02-20-2014 03:00 AM
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WhatEvenIsThis Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

...oh god.
Please, excuse my accident of a thread post...

I was just so angry, so full of rage, I started smashing my keyboard every few seconds of writing this.

Ok... I will explain this... in actual human language now.

So, the way I feel it, I do not have to worry about failing this semester, if I keep up like I have so far I can get the fuck out and graduate from it.

But the stupid thing is, we are expected to apply for the next stage of school... or whatever it is called, advanced school? College? Whatever.
We are expected to apply for something like that until the 1st March. But what makes this even more bullshit is how everyone always assumes when someone does not apply for it and just waits until the last semester is over, these asshats will think that the not-appliers will sit for a year doing nothing.

Ok, first off: What if they deny someone in the first place? Are they accused of being a good-for-nothing for a whole year, too? And secondly, what if someone does not WANT to apply for ANOTHER school? I certainly do not want to sit for three more fucking years doing more of crystal math rather than what I ACTUALLY WANT TO DO.

This is the thing that pisses me off: We are expected to know how to apply for something at the top of our head and that at a very fast rate.

And the person that really pissed me off was my aunt. My aunt knows how to do appliances for things, but she did not even help me to do one.
Instead, she accuses me of being a lazy sack who does nothing because I do not "learn" for school and because I did not even apply "like everyone else did a lot of months ago" and because I did not tell her "exactly" what I want to do.
All I want to do is just ANYTHING with helping humans with their social and psychical problems. And she said it was not enough that I told her that. And whenever I was too nervous to say anything she would just jump to conclusions and say "See? You do NOTHING good in your life!"

Everyday when I come home from school I just sit down, lay down, and for the most part I go on the Internet, or just do whatever pleases me (walking outside in the morning, going downtown, playing Team Fortress 2 in a good mood), but no, whenever it is not that I "learn" for school for 4 fucking hours everyday, I am accused of never being able to achieve that goal. Fuck school, fuck grades, and fuck every simple-minded bastard that would give their balls just to try to convince me.

Everytime, and I mean EVERYTIME I am being told off by someone how grades are "important" to apply for another school... I WANT to laugh at those people, but instead I always get this uncomfortable feeling that my life will suck... really, that is what happens.

I even explained to my aunt what it is with me and my depressions, especially how even the things I love doing I never get to doing them, and what does she respond with? That all of that is just a shitty excuse for being lazy...
She has no idea how terrible depression can be... but no, no, my aunt is right. She finished her school with great grades, so she is automaticly right... heh, no.

Ok, she never said that she was always right, she admitted that it is not everything right that she said, but still... she was just so venomous in her voice, it REALLY hurt, and it did not feel like being "disciplined". She even accused my parents being guilty for all of this because they did not send me to a higher school when I graduated from elementary school... god, no, if I were to go to a higher school from the beginning, I would have been in a WORSE condition than I am NOW.
Even the woman my mother talked to said to my mother who told me that if I were to apply for a higher school and be there, it would psychically hurt me even more.

I asked my mother if she can get this woman to talk with me... she would be a really great help for me.

Heck, my psychologist even said that it is NEVER too late for something, all that counts is the very top priority, to get the fuck out of the school I am in now, and from there on I can create my directions to the top. But still, even that my aunt finds bullshit my psychologist says... because it has nothing to do with grades... yeh.

I just... I do not CARE if I do not get rich, I just want a simple life, where I have nothing to worry about BUT myself only.
And a lot of people say responsiblity is a really big thing that sucks, and while I agree with them on some points, I WANT that responsiblity, because I HATE always worrying about what others tell me, I can finally work for MY OWN ass, at the rate I want. I would have little to no problems with having that responsiblity, I just have to get used to it. And heck, paying bills and taxes? No problem, it is not like I have to prepare a FUCKING PRESENTATION for that! You pay, you continue.

I think... I WANT to grow up... I always feared it, but now I REALLY want to live for myself... I just need to really get ready for this.
02-20-2014 03:51 AM
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WhatEvenIsThis Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

Oh, and by the way, here is an English Wikipedia article on the equivalent of a graduation in my country.

Here: Still shit

This is this whole painful compilation most fucking jobs expect from you. Read it and understand... or atleast try to... because this blows my fucking head.

Well, it has more exams, assignments and other shit that is all judged with a grade/A FUCKING NUMBER ON A PAPER.
And also, it also combines pretty much every fucking subject... also featuring crystal math.

So yeah... I do not care if this is "professional" graduation that "everyone" is expected to do... it is just like ordinary school: Shit, SHIT and SHIEEEEEEEEEEEET
02-20-2014 04:12 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  Instead, she accuses me of being a lazy sack who does nothing because I do not "learn" for school and because I did not even apply "like everyone else did a lot of months ago" and because I did not tell her "exactly" what I want to do.

All I want to do is just ANYTHING with helping humans with their social and psychical problems. And she said it was not enough that I told her that. And whenever I was too nervous to say anything she would just jump to conclusions and say "See? You do NOTHING good in your life!"

That's horrible. :(

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  Everyday when I come home from school I just sit down, lay down, and for the most part I go on the Internet, or just do whatever pleases me (walking outside in the morning, going downtown, playing Team Fortress 2 in a good mood), but no, whenever it is not that I "learn" for school for 4 fucking hours everyday, I am accused of never being able to achieve that goal. Fuck school, fuck grades, and fuck every simple-minded bastard that would give their balls just to try to convince me.

Everytime, and I mean EVERYTIME I am being told off by someone how grades are "important" to apply for another school... I WANT to laugh at those people, but instead I always get this uncomfortable feeling that my life will suck... really, that is what happens.

Yeah, I think that's common. Cognitive dissonance... Internal Conflict.

The question is, how to develop a solid alternative plan to grades.

I'd love to get paid to things relating to people's psychological states and educational paths, but as of yet, I haven't managed to pull that off. After way too many years.

Not such a great example, eh?

But, I haven't given up. And, in the meantime, I've found other ways to support myself, even though the prospects of helping people psychologically and in terms of making it out of that horrible tunnel of "shut up and conform" is a lot more inspiring to me.

On the plus side, I've found people who have made it, even without credentials, as consultants, authors, and so on. The key question is, how can those of us who want to work outside the traditional system, and can't stand jumping through the hoops needed to get traditional grades, have a solid way to get paid helping people, and helping to change things?

This thread from way back in 2005 poses this same question: Jobs?

That said, getting paid to help people in a broader sense is possible in a variety of ways. But even finding ways to actually "help people" without getting paid can sometimes seem difficult, when they're caught up in these systems of grades, non-learning, and angry, bitter authority figures who aren't attuned to their needs... or the possibilities the world can offer.

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  I even explained to my aunt what it is with me and my depressions, especially how even the things I love doing I never get to doing them, and what does she respond with? That all of that is just a shitty excuse for being lazy...

She has no idea how terrible depression can be... but no, no, my aunt is right. She finished her school with great grades, so she is automaticly right... heh, no.

Yeah...

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  Ok, she never said that she was always right, she admitted that it is not everything right that she said, but still... she was just so venomous in her voice, it REALLY hurt, and it did not feel like being "disciplined". She even accused my parents being guilty for all of this because they did not send me to a higher school when I graduated from elementary school... god, no, if I were to go to a higher school from the beginning, I would have been in a WORSE condition than I am NOW.

Where do you think that venomous tone, and those accusations, come from?

Maybe... if there are opportunities to do so... ask her about that, delicately. What's her backstory? What were her parents, educators, and other guiding figures like?

Is she happy with her life now?

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  Even the woman my mother talked to said to my mother who told me that if I were to apply for a higher school and be there, it would psychically hurt me even more.

I asked my mother if she can get this woman to talk with me... she would be a really great help for me.

Yeah, that could be useful.

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  Heck, my psychologist even said that it is NEVER too late for something, all that counts is the very top priority, to get the fuck out of the school I am in now, and from there on I can create my directions to the top. But still, even that my aunt finds bullshit my psychologist says... because it has nothing to do with grades... yeh.

Yeah, I've dealt with people calling various things "bullshit," too. Or, in somewhat the same way, saying all this interaction online is nothing but a hobby, if not a total waste of time, because I'm not getting paid for any of it, and I can't prove any of it has any measurable results...

That gives rise to a major requirement that's needed to change things: find ways to demonstrate that informal, and online "connectivist" learning is just as real, and often better, than classroom learning.

Just exchanging posts, for example, can be a way to learn to read and write with more depth, to understand people better, and to expand one's mind, compared to much of what takes place in school.

But, I think it can be done better. The reality is, in school or out, graded or not, measurable or not, various activities can have a mix of value and non-value. The question is how to get it to all add up to something of greater value as a whole.

(And, when that's not happening, like in an ill-fitting school situation, it's worth trying something else.)

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  I just... I do not CARE if I do not get rich, I just want a simple life, where I have nothing to worry about BUT myself only.

And a lot of people say responsiblity is a really big thing that sucks, and while I agree with them on some points, I WANT that responsiblity, because I HATE always worrying about what others tell me, I can finally work for MY OWN ass, at the rate I want. I would have little to no problems with having that responsiblity, I just have to get used to it. And heck, paying bills and taxes? No problem, it is not like I have to prepare a FUCKING PRESENTATION for that! You pay, you continue.

This things are worth clarifying... the benefits of independence and choice.

(02-20-2014 03:51 AM)Ferigeras Wrote:  I think... I WANT to grow up... I always feared it, but now I REALLY want to live for myself... I just need to really get ready for this.

Yeah. That's a challenge I think a lot of people face... the desire for independence, to grow up and not depend on others, but it does require taking steps out of a sort of bubble that dependence can provide.

There are always dependencies in life, some things are required for others, people do depend on each other in various ways. But that's different than being "dependent," and in the "real world" people can have a range of choices of how they go about fulfilling obligations and getting their needs met, rather than having it all pre-defined by other people.

On that note, when will you be able to quit school, and take this next step you mentioned earlier?

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

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02-20-2014 04:37 AM
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

I do not know what to use as a reply, I just would like some more people to see my problem here.

But what I can say is... I am still fucking confused. Because of the assholeness of everyone else, I once again have this inner conflict that I truly am a piece of nothing.

The bright side is, later there is a job information convention or something in my city hall. People who wrote their names on a list in their schools apply to go there, and I am one of those. I am free from the school day for this day and I go to this thing later which is about two hours long.

I hope I will find something there.

And if anyone else once again starts picking on me for my choices

no matter who it is...


he or she can lick my fucking anus...


hard...






so hard until it starts bleeding...
02-20-2014 05:50 PM
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WhatEvenIsThis Offline
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

Oh yeah, I already posted the wikipedia article for the highest education (still shit)

Here is an article of the school I am in right no a.k.a the worst thing ever:
A piece of shit
02-20-2014 05:52 PM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you



Watch on YouTube
This is how Ferigiras looks like in real life

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02-23-2014 10:34 AM
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

(02-20-2014 02:59 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  Have you ever considered doing a rant in audio or video form?

I'm curious what these rants sound like...

(In the chat, we were playing with the idea of recording speeches last night. Any ideas for how to translate these into a spoken form? Either by you, or write a script for others to perform.)

I'm curious to hear this as well. I'd have to take my headphones off though. I can't afford to go deaf. Goingcrazy
02-23-2014 12:28 PM
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

(02-23-2014 10:34 AM)kfcnyancat Wrote:  This is how Ferigiras looks like in real life

Believe it or not, that video was originally meant as a joke, and was a response to a law in Germany (I think) that was being proposed about even harsher restrictions on violent video games, and the dude was satirizing the "angry gamer" stereotype. However, people thought this was a real video, and hence spread like wildfire.

The guy that created the video was actually bullied a lot in school afterwards, to the point where he nearly committed suicide. He actually created a number of videos before that video, satirizing the "fake gangster" stereotype, for example.

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02-23-2014 12:39 PM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

(02-23-2014 12:39 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  
(02-23-2014 10:34 AM)kfcnyancat Wrote:  This is how Ferigiras looks like in real life

Believe it or not, that video was originally meant as a joke, and was a response to a law in Germany (I think) that was being proposed about even harsher restrictions on violent video games, and the dude was satirizing the "angry gamer" stereotype. However, people thought this was a real video, and hence spread like wildfire.

The guy that created the video was actually bullied a lot in school afterwards, to the point where he nearly committed suicide. He actually created a number of videos before that video, satirizing the "fake gangster" stereotype, for example.
I know. But many schools still show it thinking a kid's dad filmed his son playing violent video games to discourage playing them (or they lie about it.)

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For anyone who remembers me going on an archive binge: Thank you all. I know I ended it being a drama queen, I don't really agree with the ideology anymore, and I'm really not the same person I was (I went through a neopagan phase!) but still this site was the first online community I was in. I graduated from school and turned 18. Time flies. KFC Nyan Cat, June 20, 2019.
02-23-2014 01:25 PM
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...As if I even have to tell you

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Seriously, what a bunch of idiots. Then again, it's school. I'm not surprised.

Seriously though, if anyone is ever shown this for the "effects of violent games", tell them what I said.

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02-23-2014 04:31 PM
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...As if I even have to tell you

(02-23-2014 04:31 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Seriously, what a bunch of idiots. Then again, it's school. I'm not surprised.

Seriously though, if anyone is ever shown this for the "effects of violent games", tell them what I said.

Will do. And then I'll go on to lecture them into a corner about the effects videos like this one can have.
02-23-2014 04:55 PM
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RE: ...As if I even have to tell you

The difference? My keyboard has not lost any keys and I did not harm it like that, and I am never outraging in real life.

In other words, all I did was taking the word "venting" to a new level...
02-23-2014 05:39 PM
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