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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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The problem with school - put your sound on!
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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The problem with school - put your sound on!




If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

((Google Asperger's Syndrome))

stupid article
02-17-2014 11:22 PM
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

This video is sadly spot on.

I agree. It's important, especially in elementary, for schools to build positive behavior and positive habits. However, we're all taught how to act like mindless drones. It may seem cute and harmless, but imagine 10, 20, 30, 40 years into the future, and see where they are at that point.

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Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

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02-18-2014 01:54 AM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

Exactly. And 'following rules because they are rules' is a morally horrible position. 1)See the Nurermberg defence, 2)It implies you agree with segregation.

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
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02-19-2014 02:41 PM
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RE: The problem with school - put your sound on!

(02-19-2014 02:41 PM)Trekkie_Aspie Wrote:  Exactly. And 'following rules because they are rules' is a morally horrible position. 1)See the Nurermberg defence, 2)It implies you agree with segregation.

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02-19-2014 02:47 PM
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

Bump!

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

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02-21-2014 02:18 PM
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

Surprised this isn't getting a lot of posts considering this is a problem with school-as-it-is.

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02-21-2014 05:04 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

* Gwedin just can't be assed watching the video. =/
02-21-2014 05:36 PM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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The problem with school - put your sound on!

bump

If I seem rude to you, please call me on it gently.
One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

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stupid article
03-02-2014 02:24 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: The problem with school - put your sound on!

This could be very effective adapted to address school scenarios in particular.

As Justin Schwamm writes about on his blog, very often, teachers end up feeling like students when it comes to interacting their their superiors, while continuing to treat students as the inferior party. That's what I thought of, reflecting on this video.

This recent thread comes to mind, about the messages people send and receive with their words and actions, that they might not be conscious of.

Different Kinds of Messages (post linked there.)

Quote:

"As teenagers, as students in factory-model schools, they’re used to being at the i]bottom[/i] of a hierarchy, and when you’re at the bottom, you get told and you get messages. You may not like those messages; in fact, you probably hate it when Ms. X yells and labels or Some Power storms and threatens, but you’re used to being on the receiving end of messages. ”Take those notes!” yells Ms. X, “Because this will be on the test.” And everybody knows that means Ms. X wants her words repeated, her thoughts reproduced. To take responsibility, even ownership, when it comes to your own words and actions? To think about the messages you’re sending? That’s a much larger paradigm shift than it might seem."

And that gets at the question of how people can disrupt that cycle of copying-and-repeating the actions of others, mindlessly. The ad above suggested that parents model more positive actions, but what if they don't know of any? The kids on the receiving end are rather young, but they still have the potential to step back and ask "why," and perhaps find some other examples of how to be. (That's much easier in a media-saturated, interconnected world, than without.)

One of the key skills I see in how to disrupt those patterns is for people to learn how to ask questions and have meaningful conversations. Why are we doing this? Why do you do that? And, not in a way that implies accusation and shaming, but with a genuine desire to understand underlying intention (if any), and where people's ways of being came from in the first place.

Any thoughts on that, or how to do that?

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03-02-2014 02:41 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: The problem with school - put your sound on!

(02-21-2014 05:36 PM)Gwedin Wrote:  * Gwedin just can't be assed watching the video. =/

This is a comment issue that blocks learning and communicating. What can we do to better motivate watching and discussing various things?

In short, if people can, outside of school, manage and demonstrate alternative ways to actually do learning, communicating, and building things... there's hope for changing or doing away with traditional education.

If not, people will maintain their beliefs that you need factory-model control, assignment, and tests, because otherwise people will sit around and do nothing, or only engage in mindless entertainment. Unfortunately, school itself tends to promote that split between "effort" being something you do because you're forced to, and "freedom" being relaxation and avoiding anything that seems to require effort.

Sometimes effort is worth it, though... as is learning to switch between modes of engaging in longer text or videos, or writing, and short-form interaction like chatting or (some times of) game play. I have trouble switching between modes too, sometimes. One more thing school-as-usual designed help people get better at, since so many things are defined by externally-imposed schedules, structures, and assignments.

Peter Gray & allies launching the Alliance for Self-directed Education

ASDE Newsletters: #1 Announcement | #2 History of ASDE | #6 Education Liberation


School Survival & Catalyst Learning Network featured on AlternativestoSchool's blog
“Mom, Dad, can I stop going to school?”

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High

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03-02-2014 02:47 AM
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Superkamiguru Offline
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RE: The problem with school - put your sound on!

(02-19-2014 02:47 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  
(02-19-2014 02:41 PM)Trekkie_Aspie Wrote:  Exactly. And 'following rules because they are rules' is a morally horrible position. 1)See the Nurermberg defence, 2)It implies you agree with segregation.

Hidden stuff:
"CONSENSUAL incest is not wrong. (Abuse victims: being abused by a relative does not make it wrong for others to have consensual incest, any more than rape by a stranger makes all sex wrong. Sex and assault/molestation are two different things.) An aversion became common in humans that aided in population growth as one disease couldn't wipe out the human race. That's not a problem anymore.

Consensual incest is very common. You know people who have been involved, whether you know it or not.

There is no rational reason for keeping laws or taboos against consensual
incest that is consistently applied to other relationships. Personal disgust or religion is only a reason why one person would not want to personally engage in what I call consanguinamory, not why someone else shouldn't do it. An adult should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY consenting adults. Youthful experimentation between close relatives close in age is not uncommon, and there are more people than you'd think out there who are in lifelong healthy, happy relationships with a close relative. It isn't for everyone, but we're not all going to want to have each others' love lives, now are we? If someone thinks YOUR love life is disgusting, should you be thrown in prison?

Some people try to justify their prejudice against consanguineous sex and
marriage by being part-time eugenicists and saying that such relationships inevitably lead to “mutant” or “deformed” babies. This argument can be refuted on several fronts. 1. Some consanguineous relationships involve only people of the same gender. 2. Not all mixed-gender relationships birth biological children. 3. Most births to consanguineous parents do not produce children with significant birth defects or other genetic problems; while births to other parents do sometimes have birth defects. 4. We don’t prevent other people from marrying or deny them their reproductive rights based on increased odds of passing along a genetic problem or inherited disease. It is true that in general, children born to consanguineous parents have an increased chance of these problems than those born to nonconsanguineous parents, but the odds are still minimal. Unless someone is willing to deny reproductive rights and medical privacy to others and force everyone to take genetic tests and bar carriers and the congenitally disabled and women over 35 from having children, then equal protection principles prevent this from being a justification to bar this freedom of association and freedom to marry.

Some say "Your sibling should not be your lover." That is not a reason. It begs the question. Many people have many relationships that have more than one aspect. Some women say their sister is their best friend. Why can’t their sister be a wife, too?

Some say “There is a power differential.” This applies least of all to siblings or cousins who are close in age, but even where the power differential exists, it is not a justification for denying this freedom to sex or to marry. There is a power differential in just about any relationship, sometimes an enormous power differential. To question if consent is truly possible in these cases is insulting and demeaning.

Some say “There are so many people outside of your family." There are plenty of people within one’s own race, too, but that is no reason to ban interracial marriage. So, this isn't a good reason either. Let consenting adults love each other the way they want!"-Keith Pullman

01-27-2017 10:07 PM
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