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August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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sad lyfe
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Post: #1
sad lyfe

i want klonopin but my mom wont give me any

today sucked and its still sucking

i dont want to hear anybody talk right now but i cant move the computer and my little siblings and my mom will never shut up so i just have to deal but its really hard i feel like fucking murdering everybody if they say something again jesus dicks

i really need a klonopin but nobody fucking cares
02-12-2014 08:29 AM
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Post: #2
sad lyfe

Klonopin. Has a professional physician recommended this? If so, the fact that you're not getting the drugs you need is really concerning. You really have to talk your mom down.

Also, do you wish to elaborate?

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02-12-2014 10:53 AM
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sad lyfe

im ok now she just doesnt want to medicate me all the time..
02-12-2014 10:57 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

ok i ended up cutting bc my mom wouldnt give me a klonopin :/
ive been angry lately and its gettig really bad
02-13-2014 08:39 AM
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Post: #5
sad lyfe

It's always such an odd style of thinking such folk have.

They prevent you from medicating for something akin to "looking out for you", yet they fail to realize they're action only does more harm than good.

When will they understand that sometimes, doing good just makes the problem worse?("Hey I poured water on this gasoline fire to stop it!". Note that gasoline floats on water, so pouring water onto it would just cause the burning fuel to rise and spread allover the damn place). So to any parents who might stumble on hereBiggrinO NOT DO ANYTHING FOR SOMEONE ELSES GOOD IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE OUTCOME WILL BE!!!

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02-13-2014 08:48 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

(02-13-2014 08:39 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  ok i ended up cutting bc my mom wouldnt give me a klonopin :/
ive been angry lately and its gettig really bad

I'm not sure how to respond here. Yikes.

You really need to make it clear to your mother that you haven't felt well. I really don't know how they'll react because you cut yourself more.

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02-13-2014 10:52 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

i dont think im gonna tell her about it bc it wasnt really serious or anything they barely even bled
02-13-2014 11:19 AM
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Ky Offline
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sad lyfe

Er...I think this might require therapy in addition to (or in lieu of) drugs. The effects of coming off them are alarming, to say the least.

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02-13-2014 11:21 AM
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sad lyfe

Yeah, I wouldn't downplay this. Sounds like you could relapse, and that's not good.

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02-13-2014 11:23 AM
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sad lyfe

next time i see my psychiatrist i might be getting prescribed something like ritalin i kinda hope i do cuz i cant focus on anything but at the same time i dont wanna take more meds so idk
02-14-2014 03:46 AM
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Post: #11
RE: sad lyfe

(02-13-2014 11:21 AM)DoA Wrote:  Er...I think this might require therapy in addition to (or in lieu of) drugs. The effects of coming off them are alarming, to say the least.

Yeah, it would be good to talk to a therapist on a regular basis. Have you ever done that? How much time do you spend with your psychiatrist?

It can take some experimentation to find a good fit for a therapist, just like with mental health (and education) in general, but it's worth starting somewhere.

(02-14-2014 03:46 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  next time i see my psychiatrist i might be getting prescribed something like ritalin i kinda hope i do cuz i cant focus on anything but at the same time i dont wanna take more meds so idk

Both for focus and dealing with anger, have you ever tried meditation? Some people find this very helpful to learn how to center themselves. Mindfulness practices like this can reduce the amount of chaos in your mind.

This is one thing a therapist might suggest. I can link you to some resources that provide more information, if you want to learn some more. It might be something to talk to your psychiatrist about as well.

Psychiatrist Dan Siegel is one proponent of meditation, and the general skill of "mindsight," a.k.a., metacognition. This means learning to notice your own mental processes. Instead of just falling into anger, you can learn to notice "I'm getting angry," and this is one step toward having some influence over the chaos you're experiencing.

Dan Siegel writes about this in his book Mindsight, and he also has some videos online you might find interesting. The more you learn about your own mind, and some things about how the brain works, the more you'll be empowered to take steps to improve things. Meds can help, but they're just one way to change how your brain works.

I can provide a lot of links, but it may be a lot to make sense of. How much do you like reading text, like articles or books? What about videos?

Another question is... where does your anger come from? Does it just happen, or do there seem to be triggers?

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02-14-2014 04:09 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

(02-13-2014 11:21 AM)DoA Wrote:  Er...I think this might require therapy in addition to (or in lieu of) drugs. The effects of coming off them are alarming, to say the least.

Yeah, it would be good to talk to a therapist on a regular basis. Have you ever done that? How much time do you spend with your psychiatrist?

It can take some experimentation to find a good fit for a therapist, just like with mental health (and education) in general, but it's worth starting somewhere.

(02-14-2014 03:46 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  next time i see my psychiatrist i might be getting prescribed something like ritalin i kinda hope i do cuz i cant focus on anything but at the same time i dont wanna take more meds so idk

Both for focus and dealing with anger, have you ever tried meditation? Some people find this very helpful to learn how to center themselves. Mindfulness practices like this can reduce the amount of chaos in your mind.

This is one thing a therapist might suggest. I can link you to some resources that provide more information, if you want to learn some more. It might be something to talk to your psychiatrist about as well.

Here's one article about meditation and the brain: What Happens to the Brain When You Meditate (And How it Benefits You)

Psychiatrist Dan Siegel is one proponent of meditation, and the general skill of "mindsight," a.k.a., metacognition. This means learning to notice your own mental processes. Instead of just falling into anger, you can learn to notice "I'm getting angry," and this is one step toward having some influence over the chaos you're experiencing.

Siegel writes about this in his book Mindsight, and he also has some videos online you might find interesting. The more you learn about your own mind, and some things about how the brain works, the more you'll be empowered to take steps to improve things. Meds can help, but they're just one way to change how your brain works.

Here's a short clip on this topic:



Watch on YouTube

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT, might help as well... which is also a form of metacognition, learning to notice and change your thoughts.

I can provide a lot of links, but it may be a lot to make sense of. How much do you like reading text, like articles or books? What about videos?

Another question is... where does your anger come from? Does it just happen, or do there seem to be triggers?

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02-14-2014 04:19 AM
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sad lyfe

i get therapy three times every week, i have an in-home.. i sped about 30 min every month with my psychiatrist. i try and do breathing exercises and sometimes i meditate but it doesnt really help much. i def should meditate on my being an alien tho and see what kind of stuff comes up :~) i like reading but listening is incredibly boring for me unless im listening to someone with a nice voice or theyre readig something funny like bad fanfiction!! my friends have hot voicrs and they read me bad fanfiction its fun!!!!!my anger comes from triggers, mostly dealing with people at school all day and my older brother
02-14-2014 04:42 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

(02-14-2014 04:42 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  i get therapy three times every week, i have an in-home..

What's the therapy like? And... in-home what?

(02-14-2014 04:42 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  i try and do breathing exercises and sometimes i meditate but it doesnt really help much.

There might be be other ways to meditate... or at least step back and be more aware of your thoughts. There's more than one kind of meditation. It might also help to use some kind of music/sounds, or a soothing voice.

(These are just some ideas... I'm no expert on meditation, but I do like to brainstorm ideas. Biggrin)

(02-14-2014 04:42 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  i def should meditate on my being an alien tho and see what kind of stuff comes up :~)

Haha. Razz

(02-14-2014 04:42 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  i like reading but listening is incredibly boring for me unless im listening to someone with a nice voice or theyre readig something funny like bad fanfiction!! my friends have hot voicrs and they read me bad fanfiction its fun!!!!!

Haha, that sounds fun. Do you have any examples?

(02-14-2014 04:42 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  my anger comes from triggers, mostly dealing with people at school all day and my older brother

I see. At home, is there anything your brother or family could do differently, that would help? Are they open to changing how they act a bit, if it would help you?

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02-14-2014 04:51 AM
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sad lyfe

in-home therapy where the therapist comes to ur house.

oh ok!!

one direction fanfics and emo love stories

my brother could get the fuck out of my life and leave me alone forever and theres not anything the rest of my family could do
02-14-2014 05:34 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

(02-14-2014 05:34 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  in-home therapy where the therapist comes to ur house.

Interesting. What's that like?

Does it help at all?

(02-14-2014 05:34 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  one direction fanfics and emo love stories

Lol.

(02-14-2014 05:34 AM)vespertherat Wrote:  my brother could get the fuck out of my life and leave me alone forever and theres not anything the rest of my family could do

Wow, that sounds bad. What does he do?

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sad lyfe

its fun bc she always brings me candy or toys or things to paint or smth like that and i dont have to go to a dumb office
he used to hurt me emotionaly and physically and now he keeps trying to make up for it and its terrible i just want him to go away and never come back
02-14-2014 07:48 AM
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sad lyfe

i want pet rats sooo bad but im scared i wouldnt be able to take care of them and i know my family wouldnt get anywhere near them or help me out with them so i shouldnt get any. i still want to hold a rat tho, i love their cute little noses and their tails!! lots of ppl think theyre gross but i would give my ratties kisses all the time (no homo) and boop them on the nose and omg rats!!!!!! i love them so much aaa i wanna have a bunch of rats but itd probably be best if i just didnt get them bc im really scared that my mental health would get so bad i would neglect them... its still nice to think about it tho and look at pictures of them aa I Love Rats!!!!!
02-15-2014 07:31 AM
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sad lyfe

I once wanted to get a few mice... From what I saw they required fairly basic care. I can't imagine rats would be very different but you still may want to do some research...

BTW, if you do get rats I expect photos. Razz
02-15-2014 11:49 AM
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RE: sad lyfe

Rats/mice are actually quite clean and are easy to take care of. I'm obviously not talking about street rats....

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02-15-2014 11:51 AM
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sad lyfe

im so bored i got on minecraft which i dont play much anymore and im going to build an asylum
02-17-2014 12:03 AM
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sad lyfe

Out of curiosity, why?

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02-17-2014 03:27 AM
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sad lyfe

bc crazies are a danger, even in minecraft...

im like freaking out right now i cant stop laughing but aat the same time im really upset bc i dont want to go to school and aaaaaaAAA ok at least theres a two hour delay ok i think i can do this
02-18-2014 12:35 AM
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sad lyfe

I don't even have school today, or for the entire week. Presidents Week.

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02-18-2014 02:08 AM
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sad lyfe

:0

I only have school off today because of a snow day. It was supposed to be a make-up day.

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02-18-2014 02:16 AM
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sad lyfe

"im guessing you have schizophrenia"
wow thanks for helping!!
02-19-2014 08:25 AM
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sad lyfe

Who told you that?

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02-19-2014 08:28 AM
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sad lyfe

this person on this anxiety app i frequent, i thought i might try and see if anybody there had coping skills for auditory hallucinations and that was the only reply i got. im so angry even tho i shouldnt be
02-19-2014 08:30 AM
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sad lyfe

That doesn't sound like a very constructive reply. When did you post this? Hopefully there will be more people willing to respond.

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02-19-2014 08:31 AM
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sad lyfe

like 3 hours ago
02-19-2014 08:33 AM
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