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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #1
I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

I've really just lost almost all trust in them really. I know a while back I told you guys that late last year my mom told me about some stupid apprenticeship program that paid lots, but I had absolutely no interest in it – not in the process, not in the final result, not in the job, not in any of it.

To be honest, I just want to be a "YouTube star". I want to make some great Halo machinimas (basically like movies and TV shows, but using video games), a professional cosplayer (I want to go to conventions and really, REALLY dress up as my favorite characters from my favorite animes), and learn some advanced animation (I like special effects and this is probably the only thing that sounds like would be relevant to post-secondary education). I want to become an "internet sensation", and in a way serve the gaming and anime/cosplaying communities.

That sounds like it might not pay much, but I just want to do that. I really don't have any back-up plans, and I'm just trying to avoid jobs that I'm not going to enjoy in the long run and trying to avoid the cookie-cutter lifestyle that compulsory schooling ends up leaving you in after high school.

To start off, apparently that apprenticeship had something to do with making video games. I don't understand that at all. I have no idea how an apprenticeship for working IN/FOR THE SHIPYARDS has anything remotely related to developing video games. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE VIDEO GAMES, I really do, but the problem is is that just because you like PLAYING video games doesn't necessarily mean you want to DEVELOP video games. Also, one of my friends told me you need to know math to develop video games. Now I was good in math when I was actively going to school, but that was before high school and when I started feeling my hatred towards school. Now I want little to do with math as much as possible, and working on being an important figure in the communities I dabble in.

Basically, just because you LOVE candy doesn't mean you want to WORK in a candy factory! You may LOVE fashion, but that doesn't necessarily mean you want to MAKE clothes.

Secondly, as I said previously, I want to avoid that cookie-cutter lifestyle. I even mentioned this in my last thread. I don't want to wake up early in the morning, go to some job I landed that I most likely might not enjoy, come home and basically do the whole process all over again day after day. I want to be myself, and outside of any contracts I sorta-kinda want to be my own boss in a sense.

I just basically lost any and all trust I had in my parents when they threatened to petition the courts to handle me since I refused to go to school. In previous threads I've also told you guys how my mom called my uncle and he assaulted me, how her sister was there and was telling me how I was really nothing because she had a degree and I didn't (Such logic because she's just a trophy wife and is unemployed!) and how my dad got his girlfriend pregnant.

My mom even told me today that I was invited to a birthday party! I was like so confused because there was absolutely no one at the top of head that I could think of that either my mom, my sister or myself knew that would invite any of us anywhere. I was so confused, and she even claimed she knew I knew what she was talking about... then she told me my soon-to-be 1yr old half-brother, which I've told her in the past I want absolutely nothing to do with in my life. After she reminded me of that mistake, I told her if she ever mentions him in front of my face again I will outright ignore her for a week straight, and then I did touch on a bit about how that child clearly was a mistake and how my dad should be focusing on putting his assets (generally money) on just my sister, herself and I. My dad is pretty cheap and it grinds my gears so much, and sometimes he complains about things being "too expensive" most of the time. Such logic having more kids. If it was a step-sibling instead, ehhh, I'd have to think about that, but I probably wouldn't be as harsh because they're not really connected to the family other than by marriage. Still, there's no excuse for doing something as big as that that you clearly can't afford – or so you claim.

At the end, I also did bring up how my maternal aunt is a complete bitch, and almost anything bad that happens to her or to the close people around her deserve it.

I know, I sound a little over-the-top and just really cold, but you guys have read my WOT threads to realize where I'm coming from. You guys are pretty compassionate and understanding, and that's one of the main reasons why I'm committed to this movement to end compulsory schooling. Ending compulsory schooling will also be on my agenda as a part of what I want my career to be.

MrJurgens

P.S. I would so love to be rich as well, but I'd rather do what I love and just work extremely hard on that to get some money coming in. That's what I'm passionate about. I want to be my own unique person, and after the whole school debacle and just coming up to turning 18 I just want to have fun doing what I love. No more of this cookie-cutter lifestyle nonsense. Not everyone and everything should be stuck in the status quo forever.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 01-31-2014 03:41 PM by GamerGurl.)
01-31-2014 03:23 PM
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Post: #2
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

At this point, go for it. From your threads you've had quite a turbulent life, and yeah, you definitely sound like you come from a rather dysfunctional background (I don't mean that as an insult, in fact you might have used that word to describe your situation). Kinda reminds me of SomeRandomHuman, just not on the streets of Detroit.

Is there any particular place you want to live? I know that for whatever reason, I have a fantasy of living in a log cabin in Idaho, and really rent is cheaper anywhere else that's not called California (where I live right now... don't know if I'll be living here for the rest of my life considering the cost of living here).

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01-31-2014 03:32 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(01-31-2014 03:32 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  At this point, go for it. From your threads you've had quite a turbulent life, and yeah, you definitely sound like you come from a rather dysfunctional background (I don't mean that as an insult, in fact you might have used that word to describe your situation). Kinda reminds me of SomeRandomHuman, just not on the streets of Detroit.
That last sentence literally made me LOL. Thanks for making my day! Laugh

And as for going for it, right now I just don't have the funds or the support to pursue this unconventional way of being employed. I don't have the equipment and the means to rise to prominence in these communities. I'm also worried because I don't want my parents to judge me on these set goals that I have for myself, and outside the whole animation/SFX thing there really isn't anything else I want to do in relation to school. Not only that, I really don't have any back-up plans, and I don't plan on making any different arrangements when it comes to what I wanna do because I know this is what I wanna do.

(01-31-2014 03:32 PM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  Is there any particular place you want to live? I know that for whatever reason, I have a fantasy of living in a log cabin in Idaho, and really rent is cheaper anywhere else that's not called California (where I live right now... don't know if I'll be living here for the rest of my life considering the cost of living here).
Right now, there's this girl that I met in this MMO (and it's NOT World of Warcraft Razz) and I really, really like her. I think she really likes me too. She's 21, has the same birthday month as me, she's really hot (IMO most Canadian girls seem to be), and I think we've just connected. We've video chatted a few times, and you know, just been flirtatious with in-game emotes and sending each other hearts and shit like that. She's even sent me a few risqué pics. Wink

I really don't know what she sees in me either, but from her ex-boyfriend's opinion he thinks that most likely she'd want to break that game-relationship barrier and see me irl as well.

When I see her online, I'll bring this topic up seriously and let you guys know. I don't know if she owns her own place or rooming with someone else, but for starters I know she works at a coffee shop. If it works out, I'm thinking of making a few years' residency in Canada where she lives and then ultimately move to my hometown, New York City. I don't know if this relationship will work out, but I'm very curious to see what she seriously thinks outside all of that flirtatious activity.

I really do have feelings for her, so I'll talk to her and let you guys know what the planned course will be.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
01-31-2014 04:00 PM
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Canadian Patriot Offline
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

I agree most Canadian girls are good looking. If you are planning to move to Canada and stay for few years may I ask in which part of Canada were you might stay? I am just a bit curious lol.
01-31-2014 04:14 PM
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

I had a kind of romantic relationship over an MMO once. She was from Canada too, funnily enough. A shame I lost internet connection a week after we started actively talking. I was internetless for about 1-2 months. I haven't seen her since. =/

Fuck I'm just rambling...

Good luck with your career 'n' GF 'n' shit. Smile
01-31-2014 04:24 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(01-31-2014 04:14 PM)Canadian Patriot Wrote:  I agree most Canadian girls are good looking. If you are planning to move to Canada and stay for few years may I ask in which part of Canada were you might stay? I am just a bit curious lol.
Toronto, from the looks of it. Smile

(01-31-2014 04:24 PM)Gwedin Wrote:  I had a kind of romantic relationship over an MMO once. She was from Canada too, funnily enough. A shame I lost internet connection a week after we started actively talking. I was internetless for about 1-2 months. I haven't seen her since. =/

Fuck I'm just rambling...

Good luck with your career 'n' GF 'n' shit. Smile
That's a real shame. If you still play MMOs don't you ever wonder if there's a player you ever grouped up with at least that was actually her? MMOs are smaller worlds than what they seem. Razz

Thank you though.

I find it a little odd how this sort of stuff can happen. I never even pursued her or anything. She just told me to add her on Facebook and so I did, and then playful flirting became a bit more serious and stuff. I'm pretty excited about potentially meeting her but at the same time very anxious and overwhelmed.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
01-31-2014 05:34 PM
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Quote:then she told me my soon-to-be 1yr old half-brother, which I've told her in the past I want absolutely nothing to do with in my life. After she reminded me of that mistake, I told her if she ever mentions him in front of my face again I will outright ignore her for a week straight, and then I did touch on a bit about how that child clearly was a mistake and how my dad should be focusing on putting his assets (generally money) on just my sister, herself and I.

you seem to be holding a grudge against a baby for something it didn't do which is stupid.

Quote: My dad is pretty cheap and it grinds my gears so much, and sometimes he complains about things being "too expensive" most of the time. Such logic having more kids.

completely agree, all kids are mistakes in the sense that they cost money, and poor people having kids hurt not only themselves but their kids even more. there should be a law to prevent poor people from having more kids than they can provide an adequately (vague i know) comfortable life for.

"I never said half the shit people say i did." -Albert Einstein

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01-31-2014 05:35 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(01-31-2014 05:35 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:then she told me my soon-to-be 1yr old half-brother, which I've told her in the past I want absolutely nothing to do with in my life. After she reminded me of that mistake, I told her if she ever mentions him in front of my face again I will outright ignore her for a week straight, and then I did touch on a bit about how that child clearly was a mistake and how my dad should be focusing on putting his assets (generally money) on just my sister, herself and I.

you seem to be holding a grudge against a baby for something it didn't do which is stupid.
Look, first of all I know for a fact that my dad never intended to have anymore children.

Secondly, why would you have more children – mistakenly or not – when you act very cheap and when you claim that there's always not enough money? I mean, even back in the past when our family was more middle class he was still a cheapskate. There's no logic in it whatsoever. I would think the most logical approach would be that after a divorce, just allocate the rest of your resources to helping the kids you already have! Don't bring more into the world when you claim that there's not enough money. It's just stupid. It makes no sense.

It may sound like a grudge, but what I bring up is a very valid point. There are so many people who don't deserve to be parents due to this type of incompetence. I would expect a guy in his mid+ 40s to be more responsible and mature, but clearly that's just asking to much.

And for the record, this family is already dysfunctional as it is. Why make it even moreso? You know, this is just hearsay, but my sister even told me that my dad told her that he hoped that his child would not become like me. Like WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? I know this because this was during the time my sister and I were getting along, but that really hurts. That really hurts.

I feel kinda sorry for that poor child for when it grows up. This will probably only create more mistakes. Anyways, I don't expect you to fully understand. I just don't want anything to do with him or his other side of the family, and I'm just going to leave it at that.

(01-31-2014 05:35 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote: My dad is pretty cheap and it grinds my gears so much, and sometimes he complains about things being "too expensive" most of the time. Such logic having more kids.

completely agree, all kids are mistakes in the sense that they cost money, and poor people having kids hurt not only themselves but their kids even more. there should be a law to prevent poor people from having more kids than they can provide an adequately (vague i know) comfortable life for.
You know, it may sound a little ignorant, but it's true. Poor people shouldn't be going around having these little mistakes. When you have kids you're basically going to put so much money and work into raising them. If you almost always complain about the means of buying almost anything or just acting cheap most of the time, you should be more responsible and make sure this stuff doesn't happen.

My dad left the military. I have absolutely no idea how much he's making now, and if he's even telling the truth about his claim of being poor. I just expect him to be responsible and mature. He's already have 2 kids. I think that's enough with his type of income.

Anyways, this family is just completely dysfunctional. I want nothing to do with my half-brother, or my dad's girlfriend, or any of that. I've just gone through so much and it doesn't even take that to know some common sense. I'm just disgusted.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
01-31-2014 05:52 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

And you know, it may not be the baby literally that didn't do what's happening, but it was him being made that honestly just made things seem worse. I'd rather be with more money, less kids, thankful for what I already have (and basically intended for just all that I have) than having less money and making little mistakes.

I know for a fact however, that my dad didn't intend to have more kids, so in my opinion he's nothing more than a mistake. Just read what I said. May sound cold, but it's logic. Sometimes logic sucks.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
01-31-2014 05:56 PM
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Quote:Also, one of my friends told me you need to know math to develop video games.

that's not accurate. game development teams usually need more artists and designers than programmers. but you will need to learn to use a development software and you might have to be willing to work very hard because it's probably a very competitive industry, because there are ppl out there putting hundreds of hours into making mods to add content to games for free.

but yea i don't see how working in a shipyard has anything to do with video games either. but if you don't plan on going to college it's probably a good idea to get started on learning whatever skill you want to rely on sooner than later. people don't become internet sensations at whim.

Quote:I know for a fact however, that my dad didn't intend to have more kids, so in my opinion he's nothing more than a mistake. Just read what I said. May sound cold, but it's logic. Sometimes logic sucks.

there's nothing logical about a misdirected emotion.

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01-31-2014 07:21 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(01-31-2014 07:21 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:Also, one of my friends told me you need to know math to develop video games.

that's not accurate. game development teams usually need more artists and designers than programmers. but you will need to learn to use a development software and you might have to be willing to work very hard because it's probably a very competitive industry, because there are ppl out there putting hundreds of hours into making mods to add content to games for free.

but yea i don't see how working in a shipyard has anything to do with video games either. but if you don't plan on going to college it's probably a good idea to get started on learning whatever skill you want to rely on sooner than later. people don't become internet sensations at whim.
It may not be accurate, but to be a designer he told me that math was required. I'm not sure at what specific level, but that really did brush me off. I'm not the type guy who'd spend hours making mods either. I just like to play the hell out of the games.

To be honest, the only type of work I'd love to do in the video game industry is be like the "executive producer" – someone that calls the shots, but isn't really involved in the field like a designer, per se. Something more business-like, but also calls the shots. There's a lot of guys like that who work at publishers at EA or are of ah high rank in the dev team itself, but it just seems like these guys only care about the bottom line. They don't really tend to try and go over satisfactory because at the end of the day, all they really care about is how much money goes into their pockets, so they try and find ways to gouge the player-base.

Also, I'm not artistic at the slightest. I can't draw or paint or anything like that.

You know, I'm just willing to put in the time. Whether I start sooner or later, I want to work on my internet persona and get myself out there. I just lack the technology to do so with the stuff I really want to put out there.

(01-31-2014 07:21 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:I know for a fact however, that my dad didn't intend to have more kids, so in my opinion he's nothing more than a mistake. Just read what I said. May sound cold, but it's logic. Sometimes logic sucks.

there's nothing logical about a misdirected emotion.
How is it a misdirected emotion? It's common sense. Don't have any "mistakes" if you clearly claim you can't afford stuff like that. I would have made sure I'd have all my priorities straight, then deal with stuff like that.

IMO besides possible badgering, what are you posting in this thread for? Most of what I see is you clearly disagreeing with what I have to say, and you haven't really made your point(s) as to why you disagree with what I've said.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 01-31-2014 09:01 PM by GamerGurl.)
01-31-2014 08:42 PM
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Quote:How is it a misdirected emotion?


you're expressing hostility towards your half brother (by boycotting his party, want him to have nothing to do with your life, calling him a "mistake"-which is technically supposed to be an action) for something your father did so you are expressing a misdirected emotion, but it is understandable.

Quote:It may not be accurate, but to be a designer he told me that math was required. I'm not sure at what specific level, but that really did brush me off. I'm not the type guy who'd spend hours making mods either. I just like to play the hell out of the games.

To be honest, the only type of work I'd love to do in the video game industry is be like the "executive producer" – someone that calls the shots, but isn't really involved in the field like a designer, per se. Something more business-like, but also calls the shots. There's a lot of guys like that who work at publishers at EA or are of ah high rank in the dev team itself, but it just seems like these guys only care about the bottom line. They don't really tend to try and go over satisfactory because at the end of the day, all they really care about is how much money goes into their pockets, so they try and find ways to gouge the player-base.

call the shots and get paid? there are people like me who would PAY to influence game design decisions for those that i play. though you can still get to that position without already having a boatload of money if you could create a successful kickstarter campaign

Quote:You know, I'm just willing to put in the time. Whether I start sooner or later, I want to work on my internet persona and get myself out there. I just lack the technology to do so with the stuff I really want to put out there.

you could try starting with let's-play videos. those don't require a lot of tech (or effort)

Quote:IMO besides possible badgering, what are you posting in this thread for? Most of what I see is you clearly disagreeing with what I have to say

does it surprise or disappoint you? were you looking for a herd of yes-men to nod at and agree with everything you say? (because that would be unusual for a self-proclaimed "Angry Troll")
but yea you can say i'm badgering. because i'm bored. srry

Quote:you haven't really made your point(s) as to why you disagree with what I've said.

ur wrong yes i have.

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(This post was last modified: 01-31-2014 10:00 PM by Potato.)
01-31-2014 09:56 PM
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Post: #13
I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Not the baby's fault your dad had him... but yeah, he probably shouldn't have. Technically, since your parents are so insane, they should never have had you either. That would have spared you a lot of stress...

But then the world would never get to experience your future internet awesomeness. Razz

I can think of 2 possible solutions... either get a job to help you pay for equipment... or...

Make the best video(s) you can with what you have now, and liberally ask for donations in the descriptions.

Or some combination of both.

Fiverr gigs can also help I guess... especially if you do ones related to your interests.

I'm pretty sure a lot of these famous YouTube video people actually make quite a bit of money. The video ads can be pretty lucrative I hear. Just gotta be careful you don't piss off those copyright assholes by accident (heard some scary stuff).

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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Welcome back, after a while. Smile

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  I want to become an "internet sensation", and in a way serve the gaming and anime/cosplaying communities.

That's a start. How do you see yourself doing this... personally appearing on camera, working with others on camera, going to locations, building virtual scenes, interviewing people, reviewing things... etc?

It can be challenging to build up audience, but a number of people do it on various levels. You need quite a few views to bring in much money, but the sooner you get started putting things out there, the sooner you can get feedback and evolve your approach.

What kind of equipment do you need to get started?

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  That sounds like it might not pay much, but I just want to do that. I really don't have any back-up plans, and I'm just trying to avoid jobs that I'm not going to enjoy in the long run and trying to avoid the cookie-cutter lifestyle that compulsory schooling ends up leaving you in after high school.

It might or might not... and it will probably take some time.

I totally understand not wanting to live a cookie-cutter lifestyle, but if you're going to be picky about what kind of work you take on, it's worth giving some thought (and experimentation) with various ways to earn money that might suit you, at least temporarily.

Unless you're going to be dependent on others (family, friends or partners, homeless services, etc.) you basically need a way to bring in money to pay rent and other expenses. It's possible to find a variety of gigs to do part-time, while also spending time on your preferred activities. Hopefully those gigs can at least be somewhat desirable.

Then comes the balancing act. In my case...

Hidden stuff:

...I have yet to monetize the areas I'd like to -- in short, helping people sort out alternatives to the factory model, cookie-cutter approach to life. I want to produce documentaries and shows, including YouTube content on this topic, consult with people on personal learning and life plans, and so on.

And, I'm taking steps toward those various things, especially so now that I've found a bigger network of others who are also interested in these things, but it's taking me a lot longer than I would have liked it to.

So, in the meantime, at times I've been (uncomfortably) dependent on others... at times I've done various kinds of gigs and projects for money. Given my skills with computers and programming, I could be making a lot of money there, but I've found that kind of work to not be a good fit for my mind. It tends to be depleting and frustrating. I'd rather help others, who are more interested in these things, learn them... or at least earn money some other way.

For the past couple months, I've been working as a messenger in NYC. I actually really like the job -- it feels like a game to me -- but it takes time to bring in money. Fortunately, the job is flexible, and I have some small computer gigs on the side for people I know, but I'm ending up having to figure out how to balance interacting online, developing ideas for filming, actually going out and filming with friends / partners, practicing things like video editing, and taking open online classes (for free.)

It's a lot to juggle. Some people manage to have faster routes to success, but it's worth planning to spend a considerable amount of time doing something for income beyond producing content for people.

(That's not what I want to hear, either, but it's often the reality.)

By the way, if you want to collaborate in some way with the production-related things I'm working on, there might be some kind of overlap with your interests.

Overall, I'm interested in showing that people who don't like school can successfully carve paths that work for them, and doing what I can to help make that happen.

(I think that's one of the key things that's needed to pry open the stranglehold factory-model schooling has on people.)

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  To start off, apparently that apprenticeship had something to do with making video games. I don't understand that at all. I have no idea how an apprenticeship for working IN/FOR THE SHIPYARDS has anything remotely related to developing video games.

I don't know. You might want to find out, but it sounds like a tangential connection.

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  And don't get me wrong, I LOVE VIDEO GAMES, I really do, but the problem is is that just because you like PLAYING video games doesn't necessarily mean you want to DEVELOP video games.

That's a very good point.

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  Also, one of my friends told me you need to know math to develop video games. Now I was good in math when I was actively going to school, but that was before high school and when I started feeling my hatred towards school. Now I want little to do with math as much as possible, and working on being an important figure in the communities I dabble in.

There are many roles in game design that don't require math, so I wouldn't use that as your deciding factor. But, overall it sounds like building games isn't your passion.

What opportunities do you see to be an important figure in these communities? What are some examples of people who are already, and/or where there are gaps that you see needing to be filled?

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xcriteria Offline
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  Basically, just because you LOVE candy doesn't mean you want to WORK in a candy factory! You may LOVE fashion, but that doesn't necessarily mean you want to MAKE clothes.

Totally agreed.

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  Secondly, as I said previously, I want to avoid that cookie-cutter lifestyle. I even mentioned this in my last thread. I don't want to wake up early in the morning, go to some job I landed that I most likely might not enjoy, come home and basically do the whole process all over again day after day. I want to be myself, and outside of any contracts I sorta-kinda want to be my own boss in a sense.

The key here is to find work you do enjoy, or that at least works for you. That's partly about the actual work you do, but in part how you do it, and who you do it with or for.

Quite a few people are able to find ways to be their own boss, though this generally does involving doing things for others ("working") at least part of the time.

I think this desire not to be stuck in a regular, cookie-cutter job is common among those here on SS, and who don't like school in general. The trick is how each person can make that happen.

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  I just basically lost any and all trust I had in my parents when they threatened to petition the courts to handle me since I refused to go to school. In previous threads I've also told you guys how my mom called my uncle and he assaulted me, how her sister was there and was telling me how I was really nothing because she had a degree and I didn't (Such logic because she's just a trophy wife and is unemployed!) and how my dad got his girlfriend pregnant.

Yeah. The challenge then is what steps to take to not have to depend on them.

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  P.S. I would so love to be rich as well, but I'd rather do what I love and just work extremely hard on that to get some money coming in. That's what I'm passionate about. I want to be my own unique person, and after the whole school debacle and just coming up to turning 18 I just want to have fun doing what I love. No more of this cookie-cutter lifestyle nonsense. Not everyone and everything should be stuck in the status quo forever.

I agree. So many people have similar goals. I can't help but be reminded of this song...

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I think the question is, what will it take to change things... in each of our own lives, in the communities and networks we're part of, and in the world at large?

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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

RE: Potato's replies...

(01-31-2014 08:42 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  IMO besides possible badgering, what are you posting in this thread for? Most of what I see is you clearly disagreeing with what I have to say, and you haven't really made your point(s) as to why you disagree with what I've said.

I don't think he's badgering. I think what he said makes sense, but maybe it could be explained in a different way.

(01-31-2014 08:42 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 07:21 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:I know for a fact however, that my dad didn't intend to have more kids, so in my opinion he's nothing more than a mistake. Just read what I said. May sound cold, but it's logic. Sometimes logic sucks.

there's nothing logical about a misdirected emotion.
How is it a misdirected emotion? It's common sense. Don't have any "mistakes" if you clearly claim you can't afford stuff like that. I would have made sure I'd have all my priorities straight, then deal with stuff like that.

Whatever judgments you have against your dad, why should his kid be blamed for his actions?

Nobody asks to be born. Whether the parents had kids intentionally, or not... whether they can afford to take care of them, or not... and regardless of what kind of people they are, why should this lead to their kid being judged for their actions?

I know you have a lot of negative emotions toward your family, but I don't think it makes sense to talk about kids in such a harsh manner... or presume how they'll end up.

A person's family and upbringing certainly can impact how people develop, but so can their own choices, various forms of education and interactions they have (including mentors, friends, media, and extended family), and all kinds of factors.

When people grow up in a world where they're treated prejudicially by their family, educators, and others they're around, it can skew their path in negative directions. Why be part of that, when the goal is to help transform the world to support people pursuing and achieving their dreams, rather than being locked in the bitterness and misery of a hostile world?

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02-01-2014 06:21 AM
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Post: #17
I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

I think you are a bit too hostile towards a baby.

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02-01-2014 11:27 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #18
I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

I don't think he's mad at the baby specifically. He sees it as a representation of his father's infidelity and his subconscious has ascribed all of the negative aspects of his family on his half-brother, believing it to be everything wrong with his family that, to him, used to be right.

At least, that's my guess. I could be way off.

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02-01-2014 11:31 AM
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-01-2014 11:31 AM)DoA Wrote:  I don't think he's mad at the baby specifically. He sees it as a representation of his father's infidelity and his subconscious has ascribed all of the negative aspects of his family on his half-brother, believing it to be everything wrong with his family that, to him, used to be right.

At least, that's my guess. I could be way off.

That sounds plausible... although, were things ever "right" in your family, MrJurgens?

On a brighter note, one way to raise money for YouTube and other content production that I came across is Patreon. This allows content creators to raise money without being dependent only on massive numbers of views, but based on creating value for a small number of loyal followers.

I'm thinking about how that could apply to some of my ideas, as well... and maybe SoulRiser could experiment with that, too.

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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Patreon looks interesting. Will try it out tomorrow sometime.

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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #21
I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

The point is they just need to understand I want nothing to do with my half-brother or anyone on his side of the family. Not now, and possibly not ever. This is not on a whim either.

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02-02-2014 02:34 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #22
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-01-2014 11:31 AM)DoA Wrote:  I don't think he's mad at the baby specifically. He sees it as a representation of his father's infidelity and his subconscious has ascribed all of the negative aspects of his family on his half-brother, believing it to be everything wrong with his family that, to him, used to be right.

At least, that's my guess. I could be way off.
Sort of. I know it sounds like I'm placing all the negative aspects on him, but no. It's more than him. It's him, my mom, my dad, my sister, and basically almost my whole family. It feels like me vs. the world.

I've gone through a lot of shit, and my family is to blame for a lot of it.

(02-02-2014 10:12 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(02-01-2014 11:31 AM)DoA Wrote:  I don't think he's mad at the baby specifically. He sees it as a representation of his father's infidelity and his subconscious has ascribed all of the negative aspects of his family on his half-brother, believing it to be everything wrong with his family that, to him, used to be right.

At least, that's my guess. I could be way off.

That sounds plausible... although, were things ever "right" in your family, MrJurgens?

On a brighter note, one way to raise money for YouTube and other content production that I came across is Patreon. This allows content creators to raise money without being dependent only on massive numbers of views, but based on creating value for a small number of loyal followers.

I'm thinking about how that could apply to some of my ideas, as well... and maybe SoulRiser could experiment with that, too.
Ehhh, after considering not wanting to go to school and wanting to be homeschooled online I think that's when things started going wrong.

Phew, thank you so much for that link. I'll check it out when I actually am able to start regularly producing content and putting myself out there in the gaming/machinima, anime/cosplaying, voice acting and animation communities.

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02-02-2014 02:42 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #23
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  Welcome back, after a while. Smile

(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  I want to become an "internet sensation", and in a way serve the gaming and anime/cosplaying communities.

That's a start. How do you see yourself doing this... personally appearing on camera, working with others on camera, going to locations, building virtual scenes, interviewing people, reviewing things... etc?

It can be challenging to build up audience, but a number of people do it on various levels. You need quite a few views to bring in much money, but the sooner you get started putting things out there, the sooner you can get feedback and evolve your approach.

What kind of equipment do you need to get started?
Pretty much it's a mixture of everything. Making my machinimas won't need me to appear on video at all. There's things however, like talking about anti-compulsory schooling and my cosplaying endeavors, that could have me appearing in videos. Most of it is "building virtual scenes" per se, but a portion of doing all of this would have me appear on camera.

I agree. Not sure how I'm going to build up an audience (and then try to retain them), but I have a few friends who might help me out. Well actually, I do use a lot of forums so I'm definitely going to go to those outlets that cover machinima, Halo, cosplaying, etc., to build up an audience. Due to my participation in other online forums, it won't really hurt starting later, which seems to be case because IMO it seems like my parents wouldn't be supportive since this is very unconventional – just like switching to online homeschooling was, which they were against, as many of you know.

Well since I'm very passionate about this, I'd need a good amount of money for this equipment. I'd like my own "geek pad" where I can do all this work, which seems to total up to a lot of money. But as the saying goes, you gotta spend money to make money. It just makes it harder to start-up something like this because I assume my parents won't be supportive of this unconventional dream of mine, and since I'm unemployed and not looking.

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  That sounds like it might not pay much, but I just want to do that. I really don't have any back-up plans, and I'm just trying to avoid jobs that I'm not going to enjoy in the long run and trying to avoid the cookie-cutter lifestyle that compulsory schooling ends up leaving you in after high school.

It might or might not... and it will probably take some time.

I totally understand not wanting to live a cookie-cutter lifestyle, but if you're going to be picky about what kind of work you take on, it's worth giving some thought (and experimentation) with various ways to earn money that might suit you, at least temporarily.

Unless you're going to be dependent on others (family, friends or partners, homeless services, etc.) you basically need a way to bring in money to pay rent and other expenses. It's possible to find a variety of gigs to do part-time, while also spending time on your preferred activities. Hopefully those gigs can at least be somewhat desirable.
It may, but I'm willing to do all that I can to make sure that I can make this my primary source of income. This is what I'm passionate about and nothing else. If I get some post-secondary education for anything, all I can see myself doing in it is for voice acting and animation.

Right now I haven't been looking for a job at all because the few jobs I did submit an application for never contacted me back – or if I did it online, the system automatically declined me. At the same time, many of these jobs I see are "entry level", yet then they want these multiple qualifications. Also, you have to be 18+ – I'm 17, 18 in June.

Outside of GameStop (where you have to be 18+ to work at), there's really nowhere else I want to work at here. I just hate this "city" so much, and I dislike most of the people. I might start looking around when I do hit 18, but my main goal right now is saving any money I get to go to Canada and see my girl.

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  Then comes the balancing act. In my case...

It's a lot to juggle. Some people manage to have faster routes to success, but it's worth planning to spend a considerable amount of time doing something for income beyond producing content for people.

(That's not what I want to hear, either, but it's often the reality.)

By the way, if you want to collaborate in some way with the production-related things I'm working on, there might be some kind of overlap with your interests.

Overall, I'm interested in showing that people who don't like school can successfully carve paths that work for them, and doing what I can to help make that happen.

(I think that's one of the key things that's needed to pry open the stranglehold factory-model schooling has on people.)
I understand, but I can't picture myself doing anything else. That's why I haven't set any alternatives. My goal is to be a "Gaming Legend" – to be a successful animator, machinimist, major league/pro gamer, anti-compulsory school activist, voice actor, and songwriter (still debating whether or not I want to sing my works, but I think I highly lack the talent to be a good singer).

I would love to collaborate with you some day. It'd be an honor to, but first I'd like to make a name for myself online. Once I start building up an audience, your audience can possibly connect to my persona while my audience can possibly connect to yours.

At the same time, I'd like to upstart some sort of project that allows people (this would probably be aimed more towards introverts, or just other people like me) to be able to do the certain or related unconventional things I'd like to do, who generally don't have the support to do these unconventional things. In general, I'd like to help these people become better gamers. Outside of that, I'd also help those who want to be pro cosplayers, competitive gamers, etc.

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  To start off, apparently that apprenticeship had something to do with making video games. I don't understand that at all. I have no idea how an apprenticeship for working IN/FOR THE SHIPYARDS has anything remotely related to developing video games.

I don't know. You might want to find out, but it sounds like a tangential connection.
It's too late anyways. Back in like December, I remember my mom talking to my dad about this over the phone and he told her that the deadline was soon.

I just wasn't interested in that whatsoever.

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  And don't get me wrong, I LOVE VIDEO GAMES, I really do, but the problem is is that just because you like PLAYING video games doesn't necessarily mean you want to DEVELOP video games.

That's a very good point.
I had a hard time thinking of how to sum that up, but that's what I'd like for my parents to know. I'd rather be a competitive gamer than be one to develop games; although I would be highly interested in being a "developer off the field" to help steer the direction of the development of a highly anticipated game.

I would love to be someone known who was responsible for a successful Halo/Star Wars/Pokémon/Naruto game. Razz

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  Also, one of my friends told me you need to know math to develop video games. Now I was good in math when I was actively going to school, but that was before high school and when I started feeling my hatred towards school. Now I want little to do with math as much as possible, and working on being an important figure in the communities I dabble in.

There are many roles in game design that don't require math, so I wouldn't use that as your deciding factor. But, overall it sounds like building games isn't your passion.

What opportunities do you see to be an important figure in these communities? What are some examples of people who are already, and/or where there are gaps that you see needing to be filled?
But as Potato said, it's a very competitive field. In the general aspect of it – and like you said – I just don't have the passion for it, with the exception of what I said about it. What I do have the passion for is to be a Gaming Legend.

Well, I'd just like to be involved. I find it extremely fun and I want to be someone who's at the top of these communities. I want to be another persona in these communities who the followers of these communities can look up to.

I know there's some people who are huge in some of these communities already – like Jessica Nigri in cosplaying, or Arbiter617 in Halo machinima. Besides machinima, I don't feel like there are gaps that need to be filled, but I'd just like to add more than what there already is out there for these communities.

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02-02-2014 03:30 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  Yeah. The challenge then is what steps to take to not have to depend on them.
Eh, I have no clue. I just have virtually no support, so I have no idea how I'm going to get started with my dream of becoming a Gaming Legend.

(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 03:23 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  P.S. I would so love to be rich as well, but I'd rather do what I love and just work extremely hard on that to get some money coming in. That's what I'm passionate about. I want to be my own unique person, and after the whole school debacle and just coming up to turning 18 I just want to have fun doing what I love. No more of this cookie-cutter lifestyle nonsense. Not everyone and everything should be stuck in the status quo forever.

I agree. So many people have similar goals. I can't help but be reminded of this song...

Hidden stuff:

I think the question is, what will it take to change things... in each of our own lives, in the communities and networks we're part of, and in the world at large?
That's a very good question. For one I can say we'll need money, which is something I don't have. All I know is that what I told you guys is what I want to do so much. I just wish I trusted my parents, and felt that I felt they believed in me. I lost all sense of that after this BS I had to go through to get out of school.

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02-02-2014 03:40 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

For how to start your career: I'd say get some lame-ass job and save up enough money for the gear required.
02-02-2014 03:43 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-01-2014 06:21 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  RE: Potato's replies...

(01-31-2014 08:42 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  IMO besides possible badgering, what are you posting in this thread for? Most of what I see is you clearly disagreeing with what I have to say, and you haven't really made your point(s) as to why you disagree with what I've said.

I don't think he's badgering. I think what he said makes sense, but maybe it could be explained in a different way.
Well your POV is about to be debunked now because he just claimed he was mostly doing that because he was bored. Razz

Excluding that, I agree with your assessment.

(02-01-2014 06:21 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 08:42 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  
(01-31-2014 07:21 PM)Potato Wrote:  
Quote:I know for a fact however, that my dad didn't intend to have more kids, so in my opinion he's nothing more than a mistake. Just read what I said. May sound cold, but it's logic. Sometimes logic sucks.

there's nothing logical about a misdirected emotion.
How is it a misdirected emotion? It's common sense. Don't have any "mistakes" if you clearly claim you can't afford stuff like that. I would have made sure I'd have all my priorities straight, then deal with stuff like that.

Whatever judgments you have against your dad, why should his kid be blamed for his actions?

Nobody asks to be born. Whether the parents had kids intentionally, or not... whether they can afford to take care of them, or not... and regardless of what kind of people they are, why should this lead to their kid being judged for their actions?

I know you have a lot of negative emotions toward your family, but I don't think it makes sense to talk about kids in such a harsh manner... or presume how they'll end up.

A person's family and upbringing certainly can impact how people develop, but so can their own choices, various forms of education and interactions they have (including mentors, friends, media, and extended family), and all kinds of factors.

When people grow up in a world where they're treated prejudicially by their family, educators, and others they're around, it can skew their path in negative directions. Why be part of that, when the goal is to help transform the world to support people pursuing and achieving their dreams, rather than being locked in the bitterness and misery of a hostile world?
In the end of it, my parents and part of my family has just proven to be trouble. I just want to get away from all of them, and like I told you and everyone else in a previous post, I just want nothing to do with my half-brother or my dad's "new" family.

Yes, I know it's all negative, but they haven't done anything to help me. The whole "going to school" debacle really just destroyed our relationship, and I'm not going to be the initiator in trying to fix it because I just saw how ugly some of my family members could be towards me – one of their own.

I'm tired of being the one trying to push my POVs, ideals, etc., only to be treated like my way of thinking is inferior and being treated like I'm inferior overall.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
02-02-2014 03:50 PM
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #27
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-02-2014 03:43 PM)Gwedin Wrote:  For how to start your career: I'd say get some lame-ass job and save up enough money for the gear required.
I'm going to resubmit my application to GameStop once I turn 18 (being 18 may exponentially increase my chances of being hired), but my main priority is saving up money to go to Canada. Smile

Seeing my girl will definitely make me happy.

Edit: I will say it's hard to get any kind of job anyways because of the 18+ rule being regulated by a majority of the places that accept applicants, and on top of that needing to meet certain qualifications or "recommendations", whether or not the job is entry level.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 02-02-2014 03:55 PM by GamerGurl.)
02-02-2014 03:52 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #28
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

(02-02-2014 03:40 PM)MrJurgens Wrote:  
(02-01-2014 06:10 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  I think the question is, what will it take to change things... in each of our own lives, in the communities and networks we're part of, and in the world at large?

That's a very good question. For one I can say we'll need money, which is something I don't have. All I know is that what I told you guys is what I want to do so much. I just wish I trusted my parents, and felt that I felt they believed in me. I lost all sense of that after this BS I had to go through to get out of school.

In my case, I trust my parents, and I think they believe in me (even if they don't "get" a lot of my ideas), but that doesn't mean they're going to financially support me. By the time you're 18, in this culture, especially, depending on parents isn't generally a viable plan. Some will continue to provide a place to stay and food, some won't... some might support higher education... but in general, the question is, what's going to come next.

I spent quite a while when I was younger (early 20's in particular) wondering why my parents weren't more supportive of my ideas and goals, about transforming education, and making money in ways beyond traditional jobs. For the most part, they just didn't understand it.

And, despite my basic intention to just say "fine" and move on and make all these things happen, I didn't know how to proceed with that, who to connect with, or how to decide what to do. Part of me kept wondering why my parents couldn't be more supportive and play more of an active role in helping me out (not just financially or with housing, but even with collaboration.)

But, in the end, they just weren't the people for that. And the big life quest I've had since, in retrospect, has been finding a broader network of people to discuss ideas with, learn from, work for and/or with, and collaborate with.

Some people's life stories play out where things things come along relatively easily, sometimes even without effort... other people's life stories (or parts of them) play out where the answers are not at all clear. And a lot of time can pass in those scenarios, especially without some kind of strategy for figuring out what next.

This gets at another item from above, that I'll pull out of sequence:

MrJurgens Wrote:At the same time, I'd like to upstart some sort of project that allows people (this would probably be aimed more towards introverts, or just other people like me) to be able to do the certain or related unconventional things I'd like to do, who generally don't have the support to do these unconventional things.

This is exactly what I've long wanted to do, and I'm trying to take a more proactive approach now in bringing it about. In my searching, I've found some examples of people who are doing similar things -- and who, in the process, have created some resources that are useful building blocks in making such a project.

One is Jonathan Fields, an entrepreneur and blogger who started an interview series called Good Life Project. In it, he interviews various people who have successfully carved out unusual life paths. I think there's a lot to be learned from their stories. He also has some shorter clips where he addresses questions people have for him about how to navigate the path of pursuing passions in a world that doesn't always accept them.

Through JF, I found Emily Wapnick, who is also promoting people pursuing passions, but specifically people who have many passions and interests. I think you fall in this category, as do I and many of us on SS. The issue is, there tend not to be pre-defined "jobs" out there that encompass all (or even several) of our interests. And, others (like family) often don't understand anything beyond "getting a job," and in practice it can be a challenge to make money in other ways.

Emily blogs and gives talks about this challenge, and you might find some useful things on her blog, Puttylike (In fact, the most recent post there, a guest post, is quite applicable to your situation: What Happens When Those Closest to Us Don’t Accept What We Do?)

MrJurgens Wrote:In general, I'd like to help these people become better gamers. Outside of that, I'd also help those who want to be pro cosplayers, competitive gamers, etc.

How do you see yourself doing that? YouTube videos/tutorials, advice, articles, consulting, etc?

Obviously a lot of other people have tutorials, walkthroughs, and so on for various games, but do you know of anyone else marketing themselves as helping people being better pro gamers and cosplayers in general?

I can imagine that could be something people might pay for, but is it an existing "thing" people are already paying for (like college, voice acting training, or something like that)?

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(This post was last modified: 02-03-2014 01:59 AM by xcriteria.)
02-03-2014 01:56 AM
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magikarp Offline
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Post: #29
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

Tbh, having a 9-5 "cookie cutter" job is actually pretty nice, as long as you think your work is useful/important and it's a reasonable fit for your skillset. No matter how much you love your work, it's nice to be able to just be done for the day and still know that you're gonna be able to pay your rent.

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02-03-2014 09:26 AM
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Subb Offline
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Post: #30
RE: I Know What I Wanna Do With My Life, But I Don't Have Faith In My Parents...

That's just absolutely disrespectful, dude.

STOP.

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02-03-2014 11:49 AM
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