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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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My little blog thingy
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Chanku Offline
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Post: #1
My little blog thingy

I got bored so here. My little blog thingy. :/

Anywho, today has been less that helpful. My ex-gf(whom I still have feelings for) said for me to go to hell. I'm dreading school tomorrow...I just don't want to go anymore. Hell most of my motivation was so I could try to make a difference, but that's rather BS. If I could drop out, I would. Sadly I'm 14, and by the time I graduate I will be 17(turning 18 after I graduate), so unless my parents agree, I'm stuck there, and there is no way my parents would let me drop out. My dad holds education why to high....meh, oh well.

So yeah my mental health isn't very good atm. Ugh

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01-30-2014 01:12 PM
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RE: My little blog thingy

Ay. I feel ya. I've never been in a high school relationship but that definitely doesn't sound good. I don't know what kind of advice to give (other than that things will inevitably clear up). Seems this wasn't the best of timing considering the shit weather.

RIP GWEDIN
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01-30-2014 01:34 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: My little blog thingy

Maybe, instead of discussing dropping out, it could work to discuss alternative paths to "education."

This might be a long shot, but it's worth considering.

Education is important... but what does your dad have in mind by the word?

And... any ideas what you want to learn and possibly pursue as a career?

I think the general concept of "early college" is a theme to discuss with parents... see what they think of the idea. As for how to make it happen, it's worth noting that many people are now questioning traditional college and its cost... just as much of the content of traditional (even high-end) colleges is available for free to anyone, thanks to MOOCs (massively open online courses) and OER (open education resources.)

I think somewhere in this is the path for many school-incompatible people to propose (and help build!) alternatives that parents can stand behind.

What kind of future does your family see for you? Do they have an idea of what they'd like to see -- or avoid -- as you enter adulthood and pursue life independently of them (even if it's a few years out?)

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01-30-2014 02:50 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: My little blog thingy

14?

Your ex-GF would be an amusing creature to observe.

Go to hell? Must have been quite the relationship...

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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01-30-2014 03:33 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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My little blog thingy

(01-30-2014 03:33 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  Go to hell? Must have been quite the relationship...

IKR. Why don't people ever say, "I hope you're reborn as a fly!"?
01-30-2014 04:35 PM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

(01-30-2014 02:50 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  Maybe, instead of discussing dropping out, it could work to discuss alternative paths to "education."

This might be a long shot, but it's worth considering.

Education is important... but what does your dad have in mind by the word?
Well he thinks about homeschooling(as he once was going to home-school my younger brother), but we lack the money and resources to do that.
Quote:And... any ideas what you want to learn and possibly pursue as a career?
Yes, computer things. Computer Programming, Networking, ect.
Quote:What kind of future does your family see for you? Do they have an idea of what they'd like to see -- or avoid -- as you enter adulthood and pursue life independently of them (even if it's a few years out?)
Well my dad wants me to finish High school and go to college(most of my family wants me to go to College). They don't want me to do drugs, or end up broke. Other than that I don't know.


Anywho might as well post a bit of an update:
today was okay, it wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. My friend and I are talking about things like how the Education System in the US(and most places in the world) is BS. I also learned he is a communist. :/ Anywho, today sucked a lot, and couldn't wait to get out of there. I can't wait for the weekend...I also think my 2nd period teacher called school a prison....

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01-31-2014 07:52 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: My little blog thingy

Be wary of young commies. They can be a bit...idealist and naive. My experience.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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01-31-2014 10:04 AM
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Post: #8
My little blog thingy

14 year old proclaimed communist? Please.

Yeah, I have a 99% guarantee your communist friend will most likely change their political views. Looking back I really hate my 14 year old self....

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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01-31-2014 10:52 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #9
My little blog thingy

Hug ... sounds like you could use one of those.

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01-31-2014 11:37 AM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

Also my friend is 15 or so. I'm a freshman so.... yeah
Anywho, I also realized I have self-image issues....most of which were caused by one of my brothers...

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01-31-2014 12:18 PM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

I found out that Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages is on the Nintendo E-shop. I owned both of them(I lost one of them in public and the other one is in my room somewhere). I'm trying to figure out which one to buy first...god I loved those games. I also got a rom for A link to the past, which when playing it made me feel nostalgic, and I remember playing that on my SNES...

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02-04-2014 11:20 AM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

I've been hating school a lot lately. Usually I could put up with going, but recently I just don't want to go, I have no motivation to go anymore. Ugh, I feel like crying thinking about tomorrow and having to go to school.

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02-04-2014 12:25 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: My little blog thingy

Aww. :(

What's bothering you the most? (Yeah I know, probably "everything" but just wondering...)

If you could change some things, or go to a different kind of school, or just do something different, what would you do?

And, what are the blocking factors in making things different?

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02-04-2014 01:44 PM
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Chanku Offline
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RE: My little blog thingy

(02-04-2014 01:44 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  Aww. :(

What's bothering you the most? (Yeah I know, probably "everything" but just wondering...)
You got it right everything.
Quote:If you could change some things, or go to a different kind of school, or just do something different, what would you do?
I would LOVE to go to a different school. There really isn't much that I can do differently, at least in my opinion.
Quote:And, what are the blocking factors in making things different?
Mainly, my circumstances. There are few alternate schools where I live, and there is only one democratic school in the state(i think), and that's at the southern end of the state(but it doesn't seem to be able to have what I wish and is a bit more...spiritual...). My dad doesn't have much money, and my mom is living in Florida(not to mention she has a job, and wants to get more involved in my life but gets on my dad for things which most could be alleviated if she payed child support) although moving to live with my mom, is NOT AN OPTION. Me and my mom do not see eye to eye, she is a bit of a hypocrite, saying she's against Agism, yet displays agism against me(leading me to believe either she's against agism against older people only, or is SEVERELY misinformed about Agism.), and we have complete different political opinions, a few matching up. There's also my younger brother(Whom doesn't help).

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02-05-2014 08:21 AM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

Alright, so today was interesting I had to present on king Solomon in front of the class(without a power point), although I think I new enough to pull it out of my ass. Any-who 2nd period was interesting. We did a little bit of work and when I was going(I was the last one out) my teacher said she was reading my "Make it count" paragraph thing(as my school has a DECA chapter so we had to write about paragraph about how we will make it count), and I basically wrote how the proposed topic is nearly impossible to complete because 'it' isn't defined, therefor what are we supposed to make count? After pointing out that, I stated the rest of the paragraph that 'it' will be this year, and or future years. And basically I wrote that I would try and work on getting less standardized testing, democratize schools, and try to make them non-compulsory. Any-who, she said it was interesting, although in what way I don't know so if she hates it or likes it, I don't know. Other than that it was okay.

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02-06-2014 08:27 AM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

So today it was announced that Open Diary, a site open since 1998 is shutting down at midnight EST. I ma really upset, I have backed up my entries and am watiting for the site to go down, for the final time. I don't know why I'm upset, maybe because it's part of my history, or maybe because of the diaries that will be lost, the people who may not be around anymore, their lives on OD, lost. Is it normal to be upset like this? I wasn't even on their a year(but I was approaching a year)...so yeah.

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02-07-2014 11:07 AM
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My little blog thingy

Yeah, I can understand. Writing a personal diary can be emotional and often helpful, and sharing with others does help.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

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02-07-2014 11:21 AM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

Ugh, I feel sick. My life has turned for the worst. My sister has to go to the hospital, OD is ending and I feel like I'm going to throw up. Mixed with everything else, I kinda am at a low point. ALso here is my OD http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?a...de=D968964 Not like it's going to be around that much longer

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02-07-2014 01:14 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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My little blog thingy

I keep a diary in an encrypted text document on my desktop. But blah that sucks. /hug Chanku
02-07-2014 01:19 PM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

Thanks Gwedin

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02-07-2014 01:40 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #21
My little blog thingy

Never had a diary. Never intend to either(though maybe when I reach a certain point in life, I'd like to put my life down in writings so my heir, family, and subjects can be enlightened by my life...)

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02-07-2014 02:01 PM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

Meh, I started my OD before joining SS, and I think I wrote that event on my OD, but it has helped me several times. -sighs- Nearly one hour before the end of OD, before the end...

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02-07-2014 02:09 PM
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Gwedin Offline
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My little blog thingy

Maybe you could start a diary on SS if you're fine with us weirdos reading everything. :3 Maybe this thread could be used as a diary! Oh my wow.
02-07-2014 02:26 PM
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Chanku Offline
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Yeah. also 30 minutes until the site ends...forever. So if anyone wants to read it, do it now.

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02-07-2014 02:33 PM
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RE: My little blog thingy

Diaries are dangerous.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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02-07-2014 03:50 PM
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Chanku Offline
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My little blog thingy

How so Brainiac?

Also I'm debating whether or not to post my back-up of the diary here, or not.

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02-08-2014 07:58 AM
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RE: My little blog thingy

I'll read it, if you want to share. I clicked the od link too late. Smile

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02-08-2014 08:28 AM
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Yeah...-sighs- Oh well. I do have a photo of my OD before it went down...

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02-08-2014 08:30 AM
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RE: My little blog thingy

(02-08-2014 07:58 AM)Chanku Wrote:  How so Brainiac?

Also I'm debating whether or not to post my back-up of the diary here, or not.

There create a physical existence of your mind, and thus can provide a key to access your thoughts and ideas.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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02-08-2014 01:19 PM
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RE: My little blog thingy

(02-08-2014 01:19 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  There create a physical existence of your mind, and thus can provide a key to access your thoughts and ideas.

That can be quite useful, both for self-understanding, and sharing with others.

Of course, it's worth being mindful of what you say, and what you share where... but in general it can really help to get what's in your mind out into the world. Better into a diary, and learning to reflect on it all, than never developing such insight into the first place.

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