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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
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Attention Ancient Ones
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Jesusaurisrex
Fanatic
Posts: 1,493
Joined: May 2009
Thanks: 0
Given 19 thank(s) in 15 post(s)
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Attention Ancient Ones
Or Mayhaps just Soul Riser, I don't really know who is on this board anymore and I'm probably making a journey the "other board" as well
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've spent most of my adult life now pursuing a political career. Since I spent way too much of my teen life on this board venting about my weird as fuck life (looking back, so much of what I put here was bullshit and/or delusional), I wanted to know how old members feel about this. My life has been incredibly dramatic as of late and I've kind of just been burying it deep inside and consuming myself with work. I'm pretty sure I've hit full blown depression at this point, then put on a shit eating grin and work my ass off all day. I love my work and feel like I'm taking every step I can to "save the world", but more and more I feel like everyone hates me for it. Maybe that's just the price of working in politics. But every day I'm feeling more and more sociopathic, I know that's not how I am, but that's how it feels sometimes.
I guess I'm just looking for opinions, being real I'm not going to leave my work but I've sure as hell alienated myself from the people who care most about me.
Be honest with me, if you've seen all the crazy shit I've put on the board do you find my work uncomfortable or maybe hopeful? Is working my way up to a point where I can genuinely help people at the expense of my friends and people who care most about me worth it? I feel like making an impact on the world is all I have left, but the last thing I want to be is someone important who fucked his personal life to get there, or worse, become someone who seeks power at any expense. I love what I do and have real faith in it. However I feel like it's unhealthy for someone my age in my current mental state to be pursuing it so relentlessly... but then if I stop I've just lost years of work and momentum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmXMA34CeoQ
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| 01-23-2014 03:45 PM |
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Jesusaurisrex
Fanatic
Posts: 1,493
Joined: May 2009
Thanks: 0
Given 19 thank(s) in 15 post(s)
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| 01-23-2014 03:57 PM |
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brainiac3397
Machiavellian Amoeba
Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
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RE: Attention Ancient Ones
Want to summarize it or will I have to dig through your posts like a gopher hopped up on coca-cola?
We're not very hostile...I think. I speak for myself when I say I dont bite(I do chew but that's another story).
Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote: watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:![[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]](https://i.giphy.com/l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif)
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| 01-23-2014 04:27 PM |
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SoulRiser
Site Founder
Posts: 18,240
Joined: Aug 2001
Thanks: 2669
Given 1978 thank(s) in 1208 post(s)
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Attention Ancient Ones
What's dramatic, and how did this all start? Is it your work specifically that's alienated you from people you care about? Do they disagree with what you're doing, or are you just too busy to keep in touch?
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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| 01-24-2014 04:36 AM |
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