(11-30-2013 09:51 AM)Night Wrote: And you know, it might help if I at least know how to look for a fucking job. But nobody fucking helps me. They literally ALL say the exact same thing. "Just look for one" "you have to call" "keep looking" "look" "look" "look" "call" "call" "call" "fill an application" Blah blah blah. Same old bullshit.
I don't know how to look
I don't know how to call
and I don't fucking know how to fill an application
The Craigslist jobs and gigs sections for your area are good places to start. Most times they just want you to e-mail or fill out the online application form. If they want phone calls they'll provide the number there. Most fields on an application will be self-explanatory, but if not, just Google what it says and someone else will probably have asked what it means already.
Writing a good cover letter and resume is a bit more involved but still no big deal. See http://www.reddit.com/r/jobs
for that. There's lots of good info in the sidebar there. It also helps to just leisurely Google things like "How to write a cover letter", "how to act at an interview", "what not to put on your resume", etc., as people in the know write about these things all the time.
You might also consider joining a course at the nearest college, or whatever it is you have to do to be eligible for the work study program.
Quote: must have 3 years experience. Must have a valid drivers license. Must have a car. Must be 18 or older. Must have this degree that literally does nothing to help you with this job.
That's their wishful thinking, but they'll often have to settle. It's like haggling in the East. There's no way you're going to pay that much for a knockoff shirt, and there's no way this employer is going to get exactly the skill set they're demanding at the pay rate they're offering, but in both cases you start at the ideal and let yourself get worked down as far as it's still acceptable. You have no chance of getting the job if you don't apply, so you have to find what you have out of what they want and accentuate it, and fudge or ignore the rest for now. Sometimes you can either tell the truth or
get the job. Can I make it to the group interview at this specific date and time only? Absolutely! Haha, I don't fucking know. But the only option was to say yes and figure it out from there. Shifts could be anywhere from 0600 to midnight and it's a two-hour bus ride away? Fantastic!
If you take everything in the job posting seriously, you'll never manage to apply, so find something that looks like a good time and apply anyway. What's the worst case scenario? You won't get the job, which is what was already happening before you applied. I'm not saying you should spend your time applying to jobs you're obviously unqualified for; rather, find ones you could do and disregard the HR fluff in the ad. Maybe you'll get the job and it'll turn out that no one ever asked you about any of the stuff you were worried about.
Quote:How do you fill an application? Wut? "Oh just put what it says to" What the fuck do you mean put what it says to?
"If hired, can you provide proof that you are legally entitled to work in the U.S.?" Dafuq does this mean!?
Yes, it's mostly self-explanatory, but some parts can be confusing or provide you with a way to stop yourself getting the job.
For that question, the answer would be yes if you were born here, legally immigrated, etc., and the proof would be your social security and state ID cards, green card, whatever you have of that sort.
For an entry-level position in retail, food service, and so on, you'll usually see the same parts in every application: Personal and contact info, education and employment histories, and references—besides the mandatory stuff like the questions of whether you can perform the job duties and are allowed to work in this country, EEOC surveys, etc. For jobs like these, you'll probably not be asked for a resume, but it happens sometimes. There may also be a questionnaire about your morality and social skills and such.
When describing your job history, it's often not obvious that you should use this section to list any experience you've had that's relevant to the position, including volunteer work, personal projects, and freelancing. Just give it a little fluffing and "professional" language and do what you have to do to make it fit into the application form. You "Provided lawn care services, maintained a large customer base, and assisted the co-owner in managing company finances," not "Mowed lawns with my brother every summer and had plenty of work because we were the only ones around who were offering."
The references are another potentially tricky part that I was getting wrong for quite some time. Some application forms will ask for work
references, which does clarify the important part: These should all be people you've worked with, not your mother or friend. Unless he'll lie and say he worked with you and talk about how punctual and hard-working you were. He'd just better be good at it though. The trouble is that a lot of the people who talk about how they're good at lying aren't.
If there's a questionnaire about things like whether you enjoy being in crowds or would report a coworker for petty theft, the answers will be used directly to determine whether the manager is allowed to hire you, and the preference for you relative to other applicants. This is no time for honest introspection; you'll most likely have to lie on this part as well. I think they've changed it now, but if you'd applied to Walmart a few years back, you would have found that theirs was provided by Unicru, the answers to which can be found here
. Even if the place you're applying to doesn't use the same material, you can use your knowledge of the general principles of these tests, or search that page for similar questions to what you get.
Quote:"If no, earned GED?" Dafuq do i put if i'm about to!?
Don't do anything that will get your application filtered out by automated systems or tossed by hiring managers. In this case, I would recommend checking "yes" and explaining it later if you get an interview.
Quote:And then with calling. Like Oh my god. Why do people say "apply and call" "call" Like what do you fucking mean call!? How do I call? When do I call? How often do I call? What do i say? How do i not sound like a complete fucking idiot? How do i prevent myself from having a panic attack? I mean, I can't even order a fucking pizza! Let alone be like "hey, so like.. do you wanna hire me?"
Most of the time, when you apply for a job online, they'll tell you if they want you to call and give you the number. Sometimes they positively don't want you to place a follow-up call; if they say so in the job posting, avoid calling anyway because then they won't consider you. If it doesn't say not to call, it probably can't hurt to try. It looks like it may be best to call in the morning
. There's also some info about which day is best for job applications
but it seems a bit inconsistent.
If you're applying to a chain, you should be able to find a phone number on Google Maps or using the store finder on the company's website.
The conversation might go something like this:
Wally World, how can I help you?
Good morning, is the hiring manager available?
Sure, just a moment.
Hi, this is Manny Gerr.
Hello, Mr. Gerr. This is Joe Blow. I recently sent in an application, and I just wanted to make sure you received that okay and see if you're looking for any help at the moment.
That's how you start it off, but at this point it could go anywhere. He might say the position has been filled or he needs more time to review your application, or he might ask you some questions and schedule an interview. Again, try to answer less like an honest person and more like a person who's getting that job. I'm not saying you should tell some wild lies that will surely be noticed later, but if they ask you something like whether you can get there to work whatever shift you're scheduled for, and you're not sure, that's 100% the wrong answer, even if it's true. You say yes and figure it out later, day by day if you have to.
How often? One time. Once you have that conversation with the manager, you'll have been told no, invited for an interview, or asked to wait for them. If you're waiting for them to review your application, it'll do no good to call again and potentially annoy them. I'd call again after a good couple of weeks if I were left hanging with no time estimate and I really wanted that job, but you have to judge whether the situation calls for it.
Smile on the phone.
It makes an audible difference. I don't know about the panic attack, but if you have any as-needed meds for that, now's the time. I get nervous and talk too fast if I make the mistake of walking around while on the phone instead of sitting, so if you're doing that, it could help to change it. Looking for a job can be a pretty tense affair, so it's no big deal if you're a little anxious when you call. Just take some deep breaths before you dial, slow down, and remember it's not a life or death situation.