RIP School Survival Forums
August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. Send me a message if you'd like to keep in touch with me & Steve.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser


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The DoA Song Parody Collection
Author Message
Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #1
The DoA Song Parody Collection

I was gonna remix a song,
but then-I-took-an-arrow-in-the-knee. (OoooOOOooo...)
I'm doing the whole thing wrong,
because of a meme. (La~da~da~DAH~)
Now everyone thinks I'm cliched,
and I know why-eee (Hey hey)
Because of a knee, because of a meme, because Ovaltine


This piece of literature was found in the darkest recesses of my brain, in the places my conscious rarely dares tread. Please provide a three-page essay criticizing and examining the meaning of this odd poetry.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
(This post was last modified: 04-06-2015 03:06 PM by Ky.)
11-12-2013 11:06 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #2
RE: Public Announcement Regarding...Oh, Darn You...

Corny remix of afroman's Because I Got High).

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
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11-12-2013 12:03 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #3
Public Announcement Regarding...Oh, Darn You...

Shhh!

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
11-13-2013 09:03 AM
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Heil_Kaiba8921 Offline
It's also a gun.

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Post: #4
RE: Public Announcement Regarding...Oh, Darn You...

i like scars

The less you try to control things, the less you need to.

Boredom is the #1 enemy of learning. Therefore, school is the #1 enemy of learning.

"Bodies fucking fuck."~Night.Artist

[Image: 41433.png][Image: 14362714_1336391025.png]

Hidden stuff:
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Hidden stuff:

"free speech under the constitution only guarantees the government won't stop him saying it and does not guarantee his right to say things and have no consequences at all as a result. also i completely doubt that he is motivated solely by "i'm saying it because i can" and is probably motivated by a more shitheady motive like "i think it's funny to annoy people and Rustle Le Jimmies™ and is just hiding behind the first amendment to try to deflect any consequences or make you realize that being allowed to annoy people is a superior moral right. you can still disdain someone for doing things for dumbarse wankery purposes and you have evne more right to ban and insult them for it" ~Trar's friend about Potato.

Thanks for the diploma… can I have my childhood back?

I’d love to have a battle of wits with you… but I hate to fight the unarmed.
11-14-2013 04:00 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #5
Another Song Parody

As you may already have known, I take the merits of forum moderation with a grain of salt. In past months I have laughed at the idea of people asking for a mod position, made fun of the idea of being a mod in general with phrases like "The Mod Delusion", and informed people that Soul will appoint people to positions of power only if she thinks it would be a good idea.

Now I'm a super moderator. And you know what? I haven't changed. Wink

So I present to you altered lyrics to an old The Lonely Island song.

"But DoA," you may say. "Why would you torture us with an outdated meme?"

And I shall reply, "'Cuz I'm a mod."

---

Interviewer: "DoA, thanks for coming to your performance review."
Me: "No problem."
Interviewer: "So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?"
Me: "Absolutely, I'm a mod."
Interviewer: "Okay, take us through a day in the life of...a mod."
Me: "Well, the first thing I do is...
Talk to SoulRiser! (Like a mod)
Approve posts! (Like a mod)
Lead a discussion! (Like a mod)
Remember stickies! (Like a mod)
Move threads! (Like a mod)
Ban Duelix! (Like a mod)
Micromanage! (Like a mod)
Promote altruism! (Like a mod)
Hit on *insert random person here*! (Like a mod)
Get rejected! (Like a mod)
Swallow sadness! (Like a mod)
Send some PMs! (Like a mod)
Ban Duelix! (Like a mod)
Cry deeply! (Like a mod)
Delete his posts! (Like a mod)
Eat a bagel! (Like a mod)
Forum announcement! (Like a mod)
More mods! (Like a mod)
Grab a soda! (Like a mod)
Ban Duelix! (Like a mod)
Get ready to ban... (Like a mod)
...a different user! (Like a mod)
Gah, I can't do this! Crap!
Chicken out! (Like a mod)
Ban Duelix! (Like a mod)
Go on TvTropes! (Like a mod)
Click a link! (Like a mod)
Click another link! (Like a mod)
Crash my browser! (Like a mod)
Restart my computer! (Like a mod)
Eat some chicken strips! (Like a mod)
Play some Skyrim! (Like a mod)
Start game in a sewer! (Like a mod)
Install more game mods! (Like a mod)
Get them sorted! (Like with BOSS)
Turn into a dragon! (Like a mod)
Burn Windhelm! (Like a mod)
Crash into Whiterun! (Like a mod)
Now I'm dead! (Like a mod)"
Interviewer: "Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?"
Me: "No doubt!"
Interviewer: "You play Skyrim instead of doing your job?"
Me: "FUS RO YEAH!"
Interviewer: "And I think at one point there you said something about banning Duelix..."
Me: "nope.jpg"
Interviewer: "Actually, I'm pretty sure you did."
Me: "Nah, I let the others handle that."
Interviewer: "Ooookay, this has been eye-opening for me..."
Me: "I'm a mod."
Interviewer: "Yeah, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times."
Me: "I'M A MOD"
Interviewer: "Okay, I heard you, bye!"
Me: "LIKE A MOD"

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-05-2014 11:38 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #6
Another Song Parody

Now I wanna listen to the real song while reading this one Razz

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
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04-06-2014 09:44 AM
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Yato Away
God Of Calamity

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Post: #7
RE: Another Song Parody

You forgot to ban Duelix's alts.

[Image: jl1RlYo.png]
Yato Wrote:Even if things are painful and tough, people should appreciate what it means to be alive at all.
04-06-2014 10:46 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
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Post: #8
RE: Another Song Parody

(04-06-2014 10:46 AM)Nero Wrote:  You forgot to ban Duelix's alts.

I was readin' through the forum threads
And Nero walks up to me and gives me some criticism
"You forgot to ban Duelix's alts"
Man, I'm not gonna let you lecture me

I threw him on the GROOOUUUUND
You must think I'm a joke!
I ain't gonna be a part of this system
Man! Tell that garbage to another mod's face!

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-06-2014 01:06 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
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Post: #9
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

To the tune of Firefall's 1976 hit (and total earworm), "You Are The Woman":

This is the forum that I've always dreamed of
To troll it is a crime
I left a post and that's the last I've seen of my time

It's not so much the way my peeps respond
It's not the times it's down
It's how I feel because I am the mod
Who bans each trollin' clown, woah-oh

This is the kingdom that I've always dreamed of
To scare it is a crime
I banned a fool and that's the last I've seen of my time

It's not so much my great authority
It's not the clout I wield
It's more that special way the new guys flee
When I hold up my shield, woah-oo-woah

This is the Squadron that I've always dreamed of
To face us is a crime
I hunt and prey and that's the last I've seen of my time

It's hard to tell you all the proles I'm beating
That's just not my style
I've got a way to ban and keep maltreating
With a great big smile, woah oh

These are the victims that I've always dreamed of
I'll warn 'em on a dime
The Squadron strikes and that's the last I've seen of my time
Of my time
Oh oh, of my time


...Huh. Maybe *that's* why people seem so scared of me. I've got to work on controlling my unquenchable bloodlust - setting it to easy-listening 70's music isn't working Razz

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
06-29-2014 01:38 PM
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KFC Nyan Cat Away
suck 360 blazeit hooks

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Post: #10
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

Except there's only one trollin' clown.

City YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/kfcnyancat
City Tumblr: http://kfcnyancat.tumblr.com/


"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence" - Donald Rumsfeld
KFCs Nonexistent Mental Health Log Wrote:[Image: what-people-think-wwf-means.jpg]
06-29-2014 02:16 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #11
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

I could wile away the hours
Employin' all my powers
Consultin' with my kin
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my plans were busy hatchin'
If I only had admin

...Wait, scratch that. That's a bad idea.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
06-29-2014 02:44 PM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #12
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

Also, DoA, I'm making a parody of Snoop Doggy Dogg's Doggystyle, now Snoop Hansy Hans' Hansystyle, projected release date being August 3rd, 2014 (my birthday).

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

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06-29-2014 02:49 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #13
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

SS song parodists, unite!

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
06-29-2014 02:50 PM
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James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

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Post: #14
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

I wish I could make music videos with you guys alongside with personal friends..... they'd look so awesome.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
06-29-2014 02:53 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #15
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

I'd love to cameo, but my equipment sucks Razz

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
06-29-2014 02:54 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
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Given 1467 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
Post: #16
Yet ANOTHER Song Parody

Thank you, thank you, it's a gift. Most likely a gift from someone who doesn't know how to give good gifts, but I'll take what I can get.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
06-30-2014 10:27 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #17
Zillionth Song Parody

Figured I'd make one last one before we change hosts.

Now, to the tune of Paul McCartney's "Yesterday":

Yesterday
All the forums were in disarray
Now I wish I had a hideaway
I done screwed up
Just yesterday

Disobey
And I would have dragged you far away
Wouldn't add that to my resume
I prob'ly need
A holiday

Why I
Had to purge
I would urge
Them not to say

And I'm
On the verge
Of a surge
Of strange delay

Every day
Now I'm wanted by the CIA
They've got my posts in a dossier
Oh, I can't wait
For Saturday

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
07-26-2014 02:33 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #18
Zillionth Song Parody

Time for a refurbish, just for lolz: (This is the third song parody I've written today!)

Yesterday, (actually, a lot longer ago than that, but still)
School Survival was in disarray.
Now I wish I had a hideaway.
I don't believe
In yesterday.

Suddenly,
I had questioned my own sanity -
I'd become my own worst enemy.
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly.

I was
On the verge
Of a purge
That awful day,

Now the
Trolls just laugh,
And they have
This much to say:

"DoA
your a faget & ur rly gay
i hop u di n a grusum way
g0 fk urself
'mod' DoA"

(Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration)

So I
Said goodbye.
Wondered why
I couldn't stay?

I said
I was wrong.
Before long,
I went away.

Yesterday.
In the past now, that is safe to say.
I've returned to get stuff done today.
I now believe
in just today.

Mmmmm...
...today.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
12-04-2014 01:50 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #19
Zillionth Song Parody

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny

Wait...that's the actual song.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
12-04-2014 03:42 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #20
Another Beatles Song Parody? Madness!

I'm addicted to my own wit. Now, our forum's rules, summarized neatly as a "Hey Jude" parody.

Hey, dude, don't flame his thread (Global Rule 1)
Use your head, man, keep it together
Remember, we do not tolerate porn (Global Rule 3)
That earns our scorn, makes dead posts deader

Hey, dude, don't troll or bait (Global Rule 6)
You just wait 'til somebody bans you
The minute your gore gets under our skin (Global Rule 3 again)
Then we begin to bloody can you

And any time you're dishing pain, hey, dude, refrain
Or at least make sure it's kept in private (Global Rule 2)
For well you know that it's a crime to spend your time
Convincing someone who might contrive it (Global Rule 4)

Nah nah naah nah, nah nah naaaah nah

Hey, dude, don't track us down
If you've found something that might harm us (Global Rule 5)
Write clearly; if you don't know how to spell
You may as well come out and warn us (Guideline 4)

So take a breath and grow a pair, hey, dude, beware
You're waiting on many kinds of brothers (Guideline 1)
And don't you know it's not just you, hey, dude, you'll do
Your words can indeed inspire others (Guideline 2)

Nah nah naah nah, nah nah naaaah nah

Hey, dude, don't bump that thread
If it's dead, please don't make it deader
But if you've got novel insights to share
Then we don't care, go make it better (Guideline 3)

Better, better, better, better
Better, better, aaaah!

Nah, nah nah, nah-nah-nah nah
Nah-nah-nah nah, hey, dude

Nah, nah nah, nah-nah-nah nah
Nah-nah-nah nah, hey, dude (repeat like a gazillion times)

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
03-12-2015 03:33 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
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Given 1467 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
Post: #21
The DoA Song Parody Collection

Merged a bunch of useless threads into a slightly less useless thread.

Runners-up in the thread title competition are as follows:
xXx Big DoA's Coitustic Song Parody Sextravaganza xXx
Someone's Taste in Music Meets Amateur Poetry
The Rise and Fall of a Moderator
Public Announcement Regarding Old Dead Yarns
Meet the Meme (DoA Mix)

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
(This post was last modified: 04-06-2015 03:43 PM by Ky.)
04-06-2015 03:07 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #22
The DoA Song Parody Collection

To the tune of Creedence Clearwater Revival's famous protest song Fortunate Son, I present to you: "I Don't Wanna Get Banned"

Some folks are just paid to leave some ads
Ooh, and some sketchy links too
And when you ask 'em, "Hey, would you stop?"
Ooh, they trumpet it all to you, yeah

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no ad-spammin' man, man
It ain't me, it ain't me
I don't wanna get banned, no

Some folks are bored, got time on their hands
Lord, they can't help but squeal
So when you go and read all their threads
You better have burn heal, yeah

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no offensive man, man
It ain't me, it ain't me
I don't wanna get banned, no

Some folks have been here longer than I
Ooh, they complain, gripe, and nag
And when you tell them, "Take it somewhere else"
Ooh, they only answer, "sup newfag," yo

It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no dark 'n edgy man, man
It ain't me, it ain't me
I don't wanna get banned, no

It ain't me, it ain't me
I don't wanna get banned, man
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't that kinda man, no

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-06-2015 03:31 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #23
The DoA Song Parody Collection

Because I had a funny thought when I was out on a walk, I now bring you a classic so hideously butchered that it will ruin your childhood memories forever. Or, more likely, you'll groan a little.

Disclaimer: I do not approve or condone the consumption of alcohol while driving or operating machinery, or by minors under any circumstance. For those who aren't driving, working, or being underage, please drink responsibly.

I could drown away my sorrow
Put if off til tomorrow
If golden suds were here

And the fun I'd be havin'
While my friends and I are laughin'
If I only had a beer

I'd conceal each of my feelings
Avoid attempts at healing
And keep a cool mug near

The warped thoughts I'd be thinkin'
While I'm sittin' and I'm drinkin'
If I only had a beer

Oh I could tell you why
I don't care for Al Gore
I could speak of views I've never held before
And then I'd bore
You all some moooore

I'd be bitter towards my exes
And have sub-par reflexes
With a heart all full of fear

My brain cells would be dyin'
I'd be hostile, I'd be cryin'
If I only had a beer


[Image: I-Like-It-Another-Thor-Reaction-Gif.gif]

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
04-14-2015 06:39 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #24
The DoA Song Parody Collection

Head under pressure,
and they tell me,
"take it easy for awhile."
Makes me think, "yeah, sure -
I've got writer's block!"

Waited for weeks,
but my work just reeks,
'cause I'm writing it so fast.
They say "He speaks!"
way too damn often!

Dazed stares at viewed pages...
they're all crazy to like this...
but there's one thing
that they won't stop asking me:

I'm not gonna write you a blog post
'cause you asked for it,
'cause you'll read one...
(...you won't...)

I'm not gonna write you a blog post;
I can't write for shit!
Go read something else
and be on your way!

I'm not gonna write one today, heyyy!
If I only had a topic
I could write the next biopic,
but I can't post
a damn blog post
this way!

This way... heyyy...

I learned, as they sneered,
that the word "wierd"'s
spelled w-e-i-r-d...

All my posts start
with "greetings, readers..."

I keep misusing words;
I can't help but curse,
because shit damn bitch bastard fuuuuck!
Ah, well,
I'm cliched and trite...

Does this not entertain you?
Do you think that my words are true?
I'm trying
to let you see inside my mind!

But I'm not gonna write you a blog post -
not today, at least...
Or tomorrow...
Or next week...

I'm not gonna write you a blog post;
I'm so out of touch, I
don't know what it's like
in the schools these days!

Won't even write a... resume, heyyy...
I can't find the accent keys and
I don't really have a reason
to write a
book or novel
today!

Oh, hey, look,
I'm rewriting this too!
Not just the hook...
All the lyrics - this is new...

'Cause I believe -
you ready? -
that I've got a knack for parody, I...

...I won't write you a blog post,
or an argument,
or a long speech.
Screw you.

I'm not gonna write you a blog post,
since it seems I should
take a break and rest...

Is that what you wanted? A blog post?
Well, you asked for it,
you might read one...
we'll see...

I just might write you a blog post...
Something tells me I've
got a list of things
that I want to say!

There's gotta be some other way, heyyy!
Not sure how I will begin it,
so I'm gonna need a minute;
almost back to writing season,
and I almost have a reason
to write you
a blog post
someday.

Somedayyy...

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
09-01-2015 12:28 PM
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