RIP School Survival Forums
August 2001 - June 2017

The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

If you want to write about your experiences in school, you can write on our blog.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


Post Reply 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?
Author Message
James Comey Away
Banished Oldfaf in Exile

Posts: 6,500
Joined: Aug 2013
Thanks: 1078
Given 2293 thank(s) in 1517 post(s)
Post: #1
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I've always said throughout my life that I would never get married and never have kids. My family would always say, "oh, but as you get older, you will start to think the opposite". I'm 16, and though I may not legally be an adult (the whole line between teen and adult is bullshit to me anyway), I'm pretty much convinced at this point I'll never marry anyone, or have a family.

Marriage is essentially bullshit. You're telling yourself that you'll be with one person for the rest of your life and you want to have a family with them, and do everything with them, but that feels so soul-crushing. I'm sacrificing my basic liberty, my freedom, all of that, just to be with one person, and I may very well divorce that person anyway. Besides, I'm a very anti-social person. The thought of having to marry just scares me. Not only that, I'm very individualist (independent). I'd rather do stuff and achieve my goals by myself rather than have someone with me. I mean, when you get married, you're basically saying that you're sacrificing the freedom of only worrying for yourself. That's not the way I roll.

RIP GWEDIN
RIP URITIYOGI
RIP NIGHT
RIP VONUNOV
RIP WES/THEWAKE
RIP USERNAME

[Image: Nas-One-Love.jpg]

Stop jerking off to porn and whining and do something about it

Make School Survival Great Again - MSSGA

Hidden stuff:

[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
[Image: mg_michelle_2020.png]
11-30-2013 08:11 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Miller0700 Offline
Here to save you.

Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
Thanks: 64
Given 137 thank(s) in 84 post(s)
Post: #2
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

(11-30-2013 08:11 AM)Hansgrohe Wrote:  Besides, I'm a very anti-social person.

That explains it, but to stay on topic marriage is varied. Some people are stuck in doomed marriages with their freedoms and happiness drained (such the case with lack-luster and abusive marriages), but it's absurd to paint all of marriage with the same paintbrush. Some marriages last lifetimes, with people who have stayed together through thick and thin, through good times and bad, because the other person has completed them in almost every way. Marriage can work if you let it.

Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2013 09:21 AM by Miller0700.)
11-30-2013 09:18 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #3
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

It could also be your inability to understand the concept of marriage and thus take some negativistic idealist view on an unknown system.

If you really love someone, there is no liberties or freedoms being sacrificed. And the "sacrifices" most talk of are usually not related to their true freedom but are rather their selfish wants of some form of luxury they once had. Then again thats not how reality works.

I would agree with people who say such a stand point is naive, because it only reveals you have no idea what your talking about(bluntly put). Its like those things you have a hundred reasons for hating but have never tried, then you try it and suddenly your like "Wow I was a retard for thinking the way I did".

Dont think about it would be my suggestion. If you arent getting serious with someone else, there is no need to think about marriage. I decided I was ready to marry a month after I turned 18...though I just dont have anyone as of yet to marry with Biggrin

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
11-30-2013 09:21 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Night Offline
Queen Mod

Posts: 1,806
Joined: Sep 2009
Thanks: 115
Given 372 thank(s) in 211 post(s)
Post: #4
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I don't really care about marriage. like what even is marriage? That's like some shit right there.

I do think though that if I'm with someone and I'm happy with them for an extended period of time (like.. years) I don't see why I wouldn't get married. You know, for the benefits and shit.

I'm a girl ffffeck
Hidden stuff:
11-30-2013 09:55 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
SoulRiser Offline
Site Founder

Posts: 18,240
Joined: Aug 2001
Thanks: 2669
Given 1978 thank(s) in 1208 post(s)
Post: #5
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

Getting married for the sake of 'being married' is just dumb. Getting married should be about you and the person you marry. And if you find the right person in the first place, you won't be losing anything, only gaining better things. Which you could theoretically have with that person whether you marry them or not. It's all about the people... it's just a meaningless thing on its own. Am I making any sense? Razz

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

Push Button for Collection of Useful Links:
Hidden stuff:
11-30-2013 11:01 AM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
 Thanks given by: Gwedin , tootsie_turtle
Sunbourn Offline
Proud crazy cat man

Posts: 6,660
Joined: Jun 2008
Thanks: 35
Given 289 thank(s) in 192 post(s)
Post: #6
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

You wouldn't be sacrificing your freedoms though because the two of you would have agreed to get married. You have the freedom to marry, and you have the freedom to never get married. Perhaps in the future you may find that it is to your own personal benefit to get married. I believe there's a lot of couples getting married who don't stand a chance and just jump in to it without a single thought of the potential consequences. Obviously, marriage is something to be taken very seriously and only after a very long term relationship that shows no signs of ending any time in the near future.

Who am I? Who are YOU?
12-02-2013 02:05 PM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
 Thanks given by: SoulRiser
Night Offline
Queen Mod

Posts: 1,806
Joined: Sep 2009
Thanks: 115
Given 372 thank(s) in 211 post(s)
Post: #7
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

My family has a habit of not getting married until there's at least 1 kid in the picture.

My parents, I was 2 at their wedding. I remember their fucking wedding. (this was confusing to me FOR YEARS!)
My brother and his fiance, been together for like 6 or 7 years, Had my niece who will be 2 in a few months, just got engaged.
My aunt and her boyfriend thing (wut even is he?) Had my cousin not that long ago, not married.

Thing is, I don't want children. So I'll probably end up like my other aunt. Be with someone for like 10+ years, get married when I'm 45.

I'm a girl ffffeck
Hidden stuff:
12-03-2013 07:10 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
Thanks: 1794
Given 1469 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
Post: #8
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I believe in marriage. No, I'm not one of those folks who bash society for ruining the sanctity of marriage; those folks did that all on their own with their divorces and stuff. No, I believe in the purity of individual marriages. I don't think gays or high divorce rates or pornography or any of that stuff devalues the concept of marriage in any way; aside from the first one, however, they can ruin individual marriages depending on the circumstances.

I probably will end up marrying someone and loving them for the remainder of my life. And you know what? I don't care whether anyone else would do the same thing, or how anyone else does the same thing. It's none of my business. What is my business is how I treat my loved ones.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
12-03-2013 07:31 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
 Thanks given by: no , SoulRiser
mehr672 Offline
Spambot

Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2014
Thanks: 0
Given 0 thank(s) in 0 post(s)
Post: #9
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I feel the same way of marriage because it is the easiest and right way. Every one should need to choose it for better life.
(This post was last modified: 03-30-2014 07:50 PM by mehr672.)
03-26-2014 09:08 PM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Dr. Brown Offline
Banned

Posts: 32
Joined: Mar 2014
Thanks: 0
Given 5 thank(s) in 5 post(s)
Post: #10
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

The best marriage, IMO is an open marriage. That's what I plan to have.

Living entirely alone tends to become dreary after a while. Having a companion and easily accessible sexual gratification makes like a whole lot better. I don't plan to have kids. If one gets along well with their companion, it really is a nice arrangement.

The problem is when two people try to limit themselves to each other when sexual attraction no longer exists. At this point, many husbands and wives end up "cheating" on each other with many problems. If kids already are around, the situation can become intolerable.

So first of all, don't marry someone you find annoying in the slightest. If I can't find a wife who I admire as a person, I won't get married. If the sexual relationship becomes stale, simply have sex with other people. You can still enjoy the company of the other person without becoming sexually frustrated. Life maintains its variety. You'll find, furthermore, that your spouse becomes even more enjoyable to have around because you stay with them for companionship rather than sex.

Our primate cousins vary from being monogamous to ones where alpha-males have numerous sexual partners. Humans appear to be somewhere in the middle, so having an arrangement in the middle would lead to the least strife and most fun.
03-27-2014 06:42 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Cianna200 Offline
Pariah

Posts: 948
Joined: Oct 2013
Thanks: 2
Given 366 thank(s) in 210 post(s)
Post: #11
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I don't ever want to be married or have children either, I want to be free as well, specially since I feel the majority of my life is like living in a cage. I'm glad I found another who agrees with me.
(This post was last modified: 03-27-2014 07:04 AM by Cianna200.)
03-27-2014 06:58 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #12
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I wanna get married. I'd get married right now if I had the opportunity(and the to-be bride). Then I'd hope to have kids pretty soon after.

While dependent on my financial state, I think I'd like to have 6 kids or something.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
03-27-2014 09:10 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Username Offline
Drunkard

Posts: 907
Joined: Jul 2013
Thanks: 72
Given 228 thank(s) in 166 post(s)
Post: #13
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I don't wanna get married or have kids, just can't be fucked to deal with kids and marriage really isn't my thing I guess
03-27-2014 10:15 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
 Thanks given by: Gwedin
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #14
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I just woke up one day and said "I wanna get married and make babies!"

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
03-27-2014 10:33 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
tootsie_turtle Offline
Rebel

Posts: 43
Joined: Apr 2014
Thanks: 8
Given 3 thank(s) in 3 post(s)
Post: #15
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I believe our society has kind of made the concept of boyfriend/girlfriend very childish, as we get boyfriends/girlfriends in our teen years. This makes marriage seem as if you are getting serious, mature, settling to have a family. Marriage lets others know you're with that person and no one else, with the exception of polygamy. Having children isn't necessary, but is the norm for people today. But I do agree, we should let go of our morals and live in an ACTUAL free society where we can do as we please without being judged. I made a thread about gay marriage and homosexuality just now, there's a bit of that philosophy there.Smile

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...
Nutter
04-16-2014 03:32 PM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #16
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I say yes to polygamy.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
04-17-2014 08:57 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Miab419 Offline
Revolutionary

Posts: 359
Joined: Jun 2013
Thanks: 16
Given 38 thank(s) in 28 post(s)
Post: #17
RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

Yeah, I'd like to believe marriage is more on companionship than the whole marrying of "boyfriend/ girlfriend" silliness.
04-18-2014 02:51 PM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
 Thanks given by: Ky
brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
Thanks: 20
Given 1983 thank(s) in 1428 post(s)
Post: #18
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

Why people think we should only have enough love for one person?

All those adulterers and cheaters out there disprove that theory.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
04-19-2014 09:44 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Rule_BreakerXVIII Offline
Revolutionary

Posts: 484
Joined: Sep 2013
Thanks: 734
Given 271 thank(s) in 168 post(s)
Post: #19
Thumbs Up RE: Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

(03-27-2014 06:42 AM)Dr. Brown Wrote:  The best marriage, IMO is an open marriage. That's what I plan to have.

Living entirely alone tends to become dreary after a while. Having a companion and easily accessible sexual gratification makes like a whole lot better. I don't plan to have kids. If one gets along well with their companion, it really is a nice arrangement.

The problem is when two people try to limit themselves to each other when sexual attraction no longer exists. At this point, many husbands and wives end up "cheating" on each other with many problems. If kids already are around, the situation can become intolerable.

So first of all, don't marry someone you find annoying in the slightest. If I can't find a wife who I admire as a person, I won't get married. If the sexual relationship becomes stale, simply have sex with other people. You can still enjoy the company of the other person without becoming sexually frustrated. Life maintains its variety. You'll find, furthermore, that your spouse becomes even more enjoyable to have around because you stay with them for companionship rather than sex.

Our primate cousins vary from being monogamous to ones where alpha-males have numerous sexual partners. Humans appear to be somewhere in the middle, so having an arrangement in the middle would lead to the least strife and most fun.

this. It's weird that i find like-minded people so often on SSF. Scratchchin you're right that the best marriages are where both the partners respect one another and enjoy each other's company..as it is, the "only with you" system in marriage is something i consider to be the fault of Christians and other religious people. (no offence to theists, but this is my opinion.) people should be able to have sex with anyone they want, as long as it remains fun and safe for both parties.

Don't play chess with pigeons-they'll just knock over the pieces, shit on the board and strut about like they won anyway.
-the Internet


Quote:May the days and months of flowing bitterness be rewarded...
To forget!?

Unforgivable!!
05-19-2014 04:42 AM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
thewake Offline
Unconstructive

Posts: 5,917
Joined: Jun 2007
Thanks: 78
Given 296 thank(s) in 201 post(s)
Post: #20
Anyone else feel the same way about marriage?

I want a traditional marriage.

I do not want traditional sex. Giggity.

[Image: nAOqYk7.png]

[Image: USVWSwj.png]
05-19-2014 01:27 PM
Find all posts by this user Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | School Survival | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication