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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Why Am I Empty?
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Subb Offline
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Post: #1
Why Am I Empty?

This is something I just realized. I used to have something that kept me going. Something that made me motivated. Something that made me happy. It could be a hobby, or a class, or a crush. But I don't have that anymore.

I don't know why I don't have it, but now I feel like a robot. Just going through the motions of life. Without a purpose.

My school is boring, lacking anything to like, but robbing itself of everything I hate. I can't open up to my family anymore, because of the incident of when they found me here. I want to distance myself from religon to think, but suggesting so will lead to an invasion of privacy. I rarely see my friends, I don't have any hobbies. I just don't have anything in my life to stride towards.

My life isn't bad. Far from it. But I'm not happy. What do I do?

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10-01-2013 02:05 PM
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Faroven Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Why Am I Empty?

You keep going. I know how you feel, when there's no real shine in your day or things aren't as awesome as they used to be. But you can get over it. There ARE things that will bring excitement into your life, it's up to you to either wait for it, or go look for it.
10-01-2013 02:11 PM
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Miab419 Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

Try reflecting on yourself as an individual with goals and desires, concentrating on the things you truly want and not so much on the negative aspects of why you may want them
10-01-2013 02:25 PM
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James Comey Away
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Post: #4
Why Am I Empty?

What Faroven said. You just have to keep going and find that thing that gets you excitement in your life. Your life is far from over. Remember that (this sounds pretty cliched) sometimes things will be bad before they get good.

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10-01-2013 02:27 PM
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Faroven Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

Also, shake things up a bit. Get a little buzzed, kill people burn shit fuck school. Kinda like that
10-01-2013 03:17 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-01-2013 03:17 PM)Faroven Wrote:  Also, shake things up a bit. Get a little buzzed, kill people burn shit fuck school. Kinda like that

Must you bring FBI attention to our underworld?

I feel like a robot too, but by choice. I seem to dream of becoming a machine(as a machine dreams of becoming human). Create some dreams to live for, even subtly.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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10-01-2013 03:25 PM
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LightAbyssion Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-01-2013 03:25 PM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  I feel like a robot too, but by choice. I seem to dream of becoming a machine(as a machine dreams of becoming human). Create some dreams to live for, even subtly.
That's deep man. I wanted to be Optimus Prime when I grew up. Since that's not possible, I'm just keeping my body and mind occupied with boring shit.

Seriously though, to the OP: lots of people feel this way as they age. All those grumpy parents and teachers lashing out at happy children? I bet they're empty on the inside too. Eventually, most people hit a point where life feels like we're living the motions. I'm the last person who should be saying this, but relax and you'll find a reason to feel alive again in time.

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10-01-2013 05:49 PM
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timf Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Why Am I Empty?

Quote:My life isn't bad. Far from it. But I'm not happy. What do I do?

What you experience is rather common. Its like when someone pulls a chair out from under you as you are sitting down. There are transition points in life where things change dramatically like getting married, going in the Army, and even going to college. We do not often appreciate the degree to which we are woven into our environment. When this changes it can be very unsettling.

These transitions are not only defined by external circumstances. You had mentioned religion. Often a young person will be raised in a certain religion and as he grows, he begins to ask questions. He may find that what he has been taught does not provide the solid foundation he had been led to believe. Sometimes he grows to see the limitations of his teachers and comes to understand that his religion was not as flawed as those who presented it to him.

Regardless if your circumstances change or your perception of things change, you need to have some point of reference from which to view the world. It used to be said that parenthood was the cure for adolescence. This meant that children are intrinsically selfish, and that to take care of a child, one is forced to let go of their own selfishness.

You may find that life can be painful but managed to reduce pain. A person can achieve boredom by avoiding those things that bring pain. However, happiness is something that comes from a realm beyond boredom. Frequently people will attempt to deal with boredom by engaging in a variety of diversions. These can seem narcotic in that one has to have increasingly more frequent and intense diversions to provide the same level of stimulation. This is how people become jaded.

Happiness lies in the realm of selflessness. I would recommend Christianity except that usually the only access to Christianity people find is through churches. Churches have so changed Christianity it often seems as just another form of school with a bunch of rules to follow and people to judge you. You could go to a church at their fellowship time and find everyone enjoying their conversations. You might see an elderly lady sitting by herself off to the side. If you sat next to her and struck up a conversation, you might find that she had a bit of a struggle financially and could help her out a little. The odds are that no one at the church would even know her well enough to be aware that she had some needs.

All through life you will find organizations like school, corporations, churches and government. Many people live their lives in these organizations taking pleasure in their achievements, positions of influence, amount of money they make, or their fame. Real happiness comes from the one on one relationships we have and the help we can offer others.

If you find yourself growing past the structures of life such that you find little of value in the things most people chase after, you may want to consider looking deeper and drawing satisfaction from those things most people consider small and insignificant, like gratitude from your son as you take him fishing, a loving look from you wife when you give her a consoling hug after a difficult day, or a beaming smile from your daughter after you compliment a drawing she has made.

If you want to build a deeper life than most people want or are even aware of you may have to find someone who knows of this and can guide you. If you want, you can PM me.
10-01-2013 11:40 PM
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Smudge Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Why Am I Empty?

Being a baptized and confirmed and now renounced Catholic myself, I would recommend about the opposite of everything just said. You ARE your "self". Find something that you enjoy, and don't deny the self because some higher being tells you to.
10-02-2013 12:57 AM
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FreelancePoliceman Offline
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Post: #10
Why Am I Empty?

I've felt like that often before. I found that taking a walk or bike ride somewhere away from people usually helps. If you don't have an area like that near you, try going out into your yard for an hour or two.
10-02-2013 01:59 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #11
Why Am I Empty?

Find a random stranger on the street and play Rock,Paper,Scissor with them.

I read an article in the newspaper, where people write a short "journal" of something unique they encountered in the metropolitan(NYC). One man mentioned how he saw two men reach the last Citi Bike(Citi bank sponsored thing where you "borrow" a bike from the various bike racks around the city, and drop them off at any of these racks, then pay based on usage, which tends to be cheaper when compared to other forms of transportation in the city), and decided to play Rock,Paper,Scissor to decide who gets it. Then the winner just hopped on and rode off while loser walked away with no problem.(So while us New Yorkers may seem cold and rude, we're actually pretty chill on the inside Biggrin)

The solution might even be being around people. You don't have to speak with them or anything, just be somewhere where they're relaxing. Sometimes I'll go to a lounge area in my college and just sit their reading the newspaper. I don't have to talk to anyone, but it can be relaxing with all the activity.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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10-02-2013 03:24 AM
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Broflovski Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

i feel the same way at school.it's very numbing.
10-02-2013 03:25 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #13
Why Am I Empty?

As I said on another thread, you cannot be fulfilled or happy without first loving yourself. You do not have your own purpose because you are holding a part of you back. I know this; I've been there.

Don't be afraid to love yourself. Or others. Embrace your natural drive of self-preservation, and accompany it with some compassion. Once you do, you'll suddenly get the impression that you need to be doing something, attaining some sort of goal specific to yourself. Upon finding that, you will succeed in being not empty but full.

...What I'm saying might sound extremely and ludicrously cheesy, but don't doubt it.

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10-02-2013 09:10 AM
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Faroven Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

Do as DOA says. You are you. You have to realize you have abundant potential, everyone has. It's really hard to, but you have to step outside the box, try new shit. Will all the new stuff be awesome? No, it may suck, but at least then you know.
10-02-2013 11:07 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #15
Why Am I Empty?

Figure out what you lost, when, and how.

Then decide if you want it back, or find something to replace it with.

And/or just do whatever's fun, try new things, especially things that scare you.

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10-03-2013 09:11 AM
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Asder Miller The Second Offline
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Why Am I Empty?

ive felt like this my entire life....i just....get used to it

School isnt as bad as you think
10-03-2013 09:27 AM
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Subb Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

Thank you, everyone. I couldn't think about what I wanted to respond with until now. I think I found what makes life worth living for me.

I can't really describe it, but the closest word to it is "Learning". It's when you just discover a new Youtuber you really like, and you watch their videos for hours, soaking at all in. It's when you just discovered a hobby you might like, and you read all about it before you buy the necessary items. It's when you finally discover the hidden genius in a line of a play or a poem. It's the feeling that comes after you marvel in something you love.

That's what I did to kill time after I was done with my schoolwork. And that was the first time I remember feeling whole in a year.

Now, I know more than ever what I want to be. A teacher. I want to take this and give it to all of my students. See if I can make sure they can look back and say, "School sucked, well, except for 9th Grade English..." or whatever.

Thank you.

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10-03-2013 03:13 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #18
Why Am I Empty?

I started writing a wall of text for this... but what you wrote really sums what I was trying to say better. Being a learner... and being a teacher.

Ideally, we can all be both of those things. But that's a challenge... how to learn, when you're skeptical of your "teachers"... and how to teach, when your "students" might not trust you.

I know that experience of feeling empty. Very often, the next step for me is wondering what path to take. What will I do next?

Helping people learn, and learning myself, is an ongoing goal of mine... but how does one manage that?

And, why must those moments of learning (or teaching) be such rare experiences?

There are surely ways to do both better.. and people who don't like school are probably in the best position to ask the right questions.

So what next?

Here's one hint:

What's a Teacher to do?

"What's a teacher to do when students have awoken to the fact that they don't need you to learn what they care about and you're not in a position to care about what they want to learn?"

Meanwhile, what's a learner to do who sites bored... empty... and looking for something better?

I think the basic answer is for all of us to learn more about what each of us wants to learn, and might benefit from learning.

There have been some attempts to define that here... so what next?

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10-03-2013 04:38 PM
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Ky Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-03-2013 03:13 PM)SubCulture Wrote:  Thank you, everyone. I couldn't think about what I wanted to respond with until now. I think I found what makes life worth living for me.

I can't really describe it, but the closest word to it is "Learning". It's when you just discover a new Youtuber you really like, and you watch their videos for hours, soaking at all in. It's when you just discovered a hobby you might like, and you read all about it before you buy the necessary items. It's when you finally discover the hidden genius in a line of a play or a poem. It's the feeling that comes after you marvel in something you love.

That's what I did to kill time after I was done with my schoolwork. And that was the first time I remember feeling whole in a year.

Now, I know more than ever what I want to be. A teacher. I want to take this and give it to all of my students. See if I can make sure they can look back and say, "School sucked, well, except for 9th Grade English..." or whatever.

Thank you.
Learning is also one of my passions, but I'll admit I'm rarely patient enough with people face-to-face to teach as a profession.

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10-04-2013 06:20 AM
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rpgkitty Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

I just noticed that about myself as well...
10-08-2013 07:25 AM
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xcriteria Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-04-2013 06:20 AM)DoA Wrote:  Learning is also one of my passions, but I'll admit I'm rarely patient enough with people face-to-face to teach as a profession.

There are many ways to teach. The world needs more people who teach in different ways than the traditional classroom teacher. It's just a matter of figuring out how to do it. I'm building a class of sorts about how to figure that out... as I still try to do that myself.

There are so many ways to help facilitate learning... from writing for a blog to interacting in a forum thread or a conversation. The profession of teaching really needs a broader definition. And, of course, teaching and learning can also occur outside of any formal context. Smile

Who else here wants to do something along the lines of teaching, or helping people learn? How are you thinking of going about it?

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10-08-2013 11:29 AM
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Ky Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-08-2013 11:29 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  
(10-04-2013 06:20 AM)DoA Wrote:  Learning is also one of my passions, but I'll admit I'm rarely patient enough with people face-to-face to teach as a profession.

There are many ways to teach. The world needs more people who teach in different ways than the traditional classroom teacher. It's just a matter of figuring out how to do it. I'm building a class of sorts about how to figure that out... as I still try to do that myself.

There are so many ways to help facilitate learning... from writing for a blog to interacting in a forum thread or a conversation. The profession of teaching really needs a broader definition. And, of course, teaching and learning can also occur outside of any formal context. Smile

Who else here wants to do something along the lines of teaching, or helping people learn? How are you thinking of going about it?

I'm considering a career in politics; perhaps I could teach people about the ins and outs of the government by lobbying against bills that infringe upon the rights of the people.

Don't take that too seriously, though - among my other job considerations are an accountant, a concert pianist, and a superhero. >_>

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10-09-2013 08:22 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Why Am I Empty?

Yeckh.

Superhero? Cliched...

I want to be a super-villain. Except I don't plan on miserably failing then saying "DAMN YOU -insert superhero title-!" while shaking my fists. I hope to enslave humanity, then expand into space, then go down in history books as the first Emperor of Mankind. Hmm. Need to think of a capital where I can have a massive golden obelisk built in my honor.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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10-09-2013 08:26 AM
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Ky Offline
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Why Am I Empty?

^ No, seriously. I could don a protective uniform and fight crime...but mostly public apathy. I have the right mindset for that kind of thing.

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10-09-2013 08:30 AM
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-09-2013 08:30 AM)DoA Wrote:  ^ No, seriously. I could don a protective uniform and fight crime...but mostly public apathy. I have the right mindset for that kind of thing.

They had someone like that somewhere in the US. He's still around but I think because his identity became public, he isn't really as active as before(I think)

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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10-09-2013 08:54 AM
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Ky Offline
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Why Am I Empty?

You're referring to Phoenix Jones...he's not the only one, though.

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10-10-2013 06:26 AM
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WhatEvenIsThis Offline
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RE: Why Am I Empty?

(10-01-2013 02:05 PM)SubCulture Wrote:  This is something I just realized. I used to have something that kept me going. Something that made me motivated. Something that made me happy. It could be a hobby, or a class, or a crush. But I don't have that anymore.

I don't know why I don't have it, but now I feel like a robot. Just going through the motions of life. Without a purpose.

My school is boring, lacking anything to like, but robbing itself of everything I hate. I can't open up to my family anymore, because of the incident of when they found me here. I want to distance myself from religon to think, but suggesting so will lead to an invasion of privacy. I rarely see my friends, I don't have any hobbies. I just don't have anything in my life to stride towards.

My life isn't bad. Far from it. But I'm not happy. What do I do?

Holy shit... that is way too close to what my life is. I guess I really am not the only thing here with feelings like this... I said this once and I will say it always again: Welcome to the club, mate.
10-10-2013 06:36 AM
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