My Smoking Mother

[..V..]

I love my mother, but I am tired of hearing her cough multiple times a minute when she's awake and at home.
Can't she comprehend that smoking is causing this and is most likely
causing the majority of her health problems?
I am tired of hearing her always coughing.
She claims to be sick, but I was sick for only two days, a few days ago, except my now lingering mild cough.
You don't get a cold for 2 weeks and continue to cough like she does if they didn't have health problems before. It isn't like she didn't cough before she was either .
I'm trying to relax and she's continuously coughs.
She was coughing like crazy last night, even needed her inhaler and a walk.
She claims to be intelligent but yet she's not comprehending something this. obvious.
I need ear plugs because this is getting out of hand.
She said she was going to stop smoking a few times. I don't even believe her anymore.
Her will and self control must really be low.
Like stop with the fucking coughing.
How dumb could one be to continue smoking when you are daily "coughing your lungs out" and always not feeling good.
It used to only affect her, but now it's affecting me because she's always coughing and and smoking. And drinking some sort of alcohol at home. And now I started to smoke. I need to stop before I become like her.
Can't even enjoy porn when she's awake because of her disgusting, excessive coughing.

Also fuck this touchscreen. Fucking thing is worthless when trying to post a topic. Can't even scroll a fucking page without getting snapped back or even type the right fucking key.

[Ky]

Actually, she might actually be sick - smoking can cause things as minor as colds to stretch for longer periods of time due to a more weakened immune system. Either way, she needs help. Not yours, either - outside help.

[Meow I'm a Cat]

Nice job trying to make this seem like it's her fault. It's an addiction, you can't "just stop", whether it's barely affecting you or if you have cancer. You don't sound like you care for her at all, only for yourself. In fact, the only reason why you want her to get help NOW is because it's starting to affect you with her coughing. You mention the health problems they are giving her, but you don't really seem to care about those as much as the insane coughing that's bothering you.

[brainiac3397]

The first step in fighting addiction is admitting you have a problem. If you make excuses, then it becomes your fault for defying logic.

[Night]

(09-22-2013 12:40 PM)DL Wrote:  Nice job trying to make this seem like it's her fault. It's an addiction, you can't "just stop", whether it's barely affecting you or if you have cancer. You don't sound like you care for her at all, only for yourself. In fact, the only reason why you want her to get help NOW is because it's starting to affect you with her coughing. You mention the health problems they are giving her, but you don't really seem to care about those as much as the insane coughing that's bothering you.

This this and this.

It's hard enough to quit smoking after only 4 years (trust me, I know).
I'm not sure how long your mother has been smoking, but sure if it been long enough to cause these problems, she's sufficiently an addict.

The only reason you seem to care is because it's getting in the way of your porn. Hmm, would you say you're addicted to porn? What if someone wanted my make you stop watching porn all together for the rest of your life so that they could enjoy their baths?

I bet your mom is completely aware that if she quit smoking she'd be able to breath better and not cough so crazy. But unfortunately that cigarette feels so much nicer than not having it.

I once had a family member with cancer (I believe). Had to carry around one of those oxygen tanks. Smoked till the day she died.

[vonunov]

Quote:She claims to be intelligent but yet she's not comprehending something this. obvious.

To know alone is not to have fully integrated the truth. There's a leap of emotion, will, and mindset that has to be made.

If you're interested in helping her, look for "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" by Allen Carr. It's available in text and audio formats at your nearest torrent tracker. It's said to be effective in helping smokers overcome the self-delusions that keep them trapped and, having listened to it as a non-smoker, I can say it's at least entertaining. A great deal of tact is needed to keep your help from coming across as the sanctimonious lecturing any smoker has already heard way too much of. At least for the purpose of pitching this book to her, I would suggest making it about her and how it can help her solve her problems, and avoiding the topics of what you want out of it and what she's doing wrong, which will get you resentment instead of results.

[Thought Criminal]

I'm sure she realizes smoking is part of what's causing it, she's just too scared/ashamed to admit it. That said being sick can magnify the issue, my mom smokes and tends to cough really bad when she gets sick, and it can last for a week or two afterwards.
God I really need to quit smoking.

[..V..]

Actually, DL, your assumption is false. I've asked her multiple times before to stop, and she said she ould, hence the reason why I'm angry. I'm tired of continuously mentioning it to her and having it become useless. I've tried and it's not helping. So why should I continue to care like I dis before? I love her and care for her. But my concern is proven to be pointless. Especially when she keeps aaying she would do it, and doesn't.
She had a smoke not 20 minutes ago and she's out having another one.
Even Crack addicts could stop.

[..V..]

Presenting facts or anything to read to her seems useless. They won't read it, especially with her work schedule. However she claims drinking wine and on her phone 4 hours after work is "winding down". Or her "boyfriend" comes over, they talk, drink and then fucks.
I need some beer.

[..V..]

She's had breast cancer when she was in her 20's I believe.
She is already not healthy.

[Dead]

Some of you guys are acting like it's his responsibility to make his mom's decisions.
It's not. She got herself sick. She's the one in denial of her addiction.
If my friend shot them self today, and I couldn't help them, would it be my fault? No, cause I'm not the one who pulled the trigger.

[Sunbourn]

Quote:Even Crack addicts could stop.

Have you ever met a crack addict? There's a reason we call them addicts. They can't stop. My uncle recently stole thousands from my grandmother just to pay for crack.

[brainiac3397]

That's why there's rehab.

[..V..]

I don't like talking about my mother like this. It makes me unhappy to because I love her more than anything. Sometimes you just need to rant when you know you can't really do anything to help someone. I do thank critcism.

[..V..]

It's sure a bitch having OCD.

[Night]

(09-23-2013 11:53 AM)brainiac3397 Wrote:  That's why there's rehab.

Which is unnecessarily expensive. and most addicts out there probably don't have insurance. Or they have really bad insurance.

Hell, I have insurance and my time in psychiatric care was cut short many times because insurance wouldn't pay for it and I couldn't afford it.

I once had to go to group therapy. The place I had to go was REALLY shitty though. And luckily my insurance would only pay for SIX sessions.
six sessions.
Imagine is someone really needed that and it wasn't a really really shitty place. Six sessions isn't gonna do shit.


Ha, rehab. Over priced shit that usually does NOTHING. A lot of people get out of rehab and they might be clean for a couple months, even a couple years, but a lot of them will start again.
And then what? More rehab? More money down the drain?


Let me ask you a question. Do you drink coffee? Or soda? Or anything with caffeine regularly?
Have you ever tried to stop cold turkey?
No more caffeine. Ever.
If you have, I'm sure you know the headaches that comes with it. The withdrawal from caffeine is shit.
You're sleepy, you got a headache, and you crave it. It's not the soda of the coffee you crave. It's the caffeine in it.
So you'll probably start drinking coffee or soda again.

Now imagine the withdrawals from Heroin.
Vomiting
diarrhea
panic
shaking
sweating
etc etc etc

Oh, but you won't be tempted to start using heroin again right?


Now I know heroin is a long shot from cigarettes.
And I'm not trying to make excuses for someone who's an addict. But we all have to understand how addiction works. It's not just snap your fingers and boom it's gone.
It take a lot of work, patience, and will power. And most of all, tons of support from family and friends!

Your mom isn't going to stop smoking unless she REALLY wants to.
If she says "oh well I guess I'll quit tomorrow" and she doesn't REALLY want to quit, chances are she'll start back up again.

Now, if you really want her to quit smoking here's somewhere to start. You could go and buy a box of those gums or those patches, hell, steal a box if you have to. Set it on her bed. Leave a subtle message.

If you have to, go up to her crying (if you can) and tell her how worried you are. How you don't want her to get lung cancer or something and die on you.

Anyway you can make her want to quite for HERSELF and her family. She's not going to WANT to REALLY quit if you just tell her "quit smoking"
People lucky enough to get into a rehab for hard drugs are more likely to quit their drug of chose completely if THEY made the decision themselves, and they weren't just sent there their by their family or an official.
You have to make her actually want it. That's the hard part

The easy part is after she makes the decision for HERSELF. This is when she actually quits. Everyday she doesn't have a cigarette you need to tell her that you care about her and that you love her and a how proud of her you are.
And if she slips up and has a cigarette or two, don't get angry, don't get upset. Just tell her you still love her, and you're still proud of her and that we'll start again fresh. And eventually, if she's truly ready to quit, and you and everyone around her gives her FULL support. She'll quit.


One thing I like about certain counties if they have safe places for drugs addicts to do their drug of choice. They provide clean and sterile needles and tools etc for drug addicts. and Have staff there 24/7 in case of emergencies. And they have resources for people to get help if they choose to. This saves lives.

[..V..]

Which counties are those and what are they called?

[brainiac3397]

Well i didnt mean rehab institute. I meant the action of rehabilitation. If it didnt exist, we wouldnt need rhe word.

[Night]

(09-23-2013 11:16 PM)..V.. Wrote:  Which counties are those and what are they called?

Canada.

Probably more, I'm pretty sure there's at least 1 more that I heard of. But like I can remember.

[IamNoone]

If she really wants to quit, a hypnotist can help her along quite a bit, might even be able to make her quit aft 1 visit.

[brainiac3397]

As long as she is willing to quit.

[SoulRiser]

Quote:You don't get a cold for 2 weeks and continue to cough like she does

Welll... I've had a coughing cold for like almost a month now. I think. Either way I've been coughing 'cause of this cold for weeks.

And yeah, the smoking could be weakening her immune system, so colds are worse too. I know my mom's cough sounds terrible... and she's been smoking for ages as well. :/

lol touchscreen typing. I found out about something awesome the other day... Google OTG USB cables. Maybe if you're lucky you can plug in a regular USB keyboard into whatever you're typing on.

[..V..]

She got right out of bed and went straight to the smokes. That is sad. In the last 45 minutes she's smoked 3 times.

[Night]

Maybe logic and compassion is too foreign for you.

Maybe instead you just need to go in there and break all her cigarettes and throw them away.

Get rid of them.
Any real smoker knows how to smoke a broken cigarette.

[..V..]

Logic and compassion?
Maybe reality and critical analysis is too incomprehensible for you.
I don't like you. Just putting that out there.
However, your typical responses and thoughts amuse me.