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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.


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Attack of the Sandman?
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
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Post: #1
Attack of the Sandman?

It's something that happens to me at odd times really. I can stay awake comfortably for more than 24 hours, without a hint of sleep(till I'm unoccupied). Yet it also seems like no matter how well, or how long, I've slept, I will feel an uncontrollable urge to nap during lectures or speeches that just don't stimulate.

Some lectures, I feel aware and attentive, but in others, I just feel my eyelids droop, my mind fog. I feel detached slow by slow, as my head ever so slowly nudges down. I feel my body heat grow warmer, I hear the droning voice of the speaker, I feel my hand scribbling on paper, yet I am not there. Sometimes it's even with my eyes wide open, sometimes it's only for a split second. Yet the disorientation is chaotic. It's as if I'm dragged straight out of the space-time continuum then dropped back in.

I checked some sleep disorders out, but none of them match. Narcolepsy seemed to be close, but my problem is unpredictable most of the time(I'm only sure that a lecture I'm not interested in will soon leave me in that situation, or an unstimulating class room).

I always wonder what it may be. I hope it's mental. It's difficult to explain to people that my bouts of napping aren't voluntary, aren't by choice, and aren't because I was up all night or taking drugs.

Yet the feeling is almost impossible to recreate. I can not consciously cause it, nor can I affect factors to make it occur. The sensation is amazingly frightening, which I enjoy. The disorientation, the detachment from time and space, the confusion all forms a strange feeling. When one feels detached from time, you begin to feel things you could never feel.

It's as if the mind has...become freed. Dimensions blur and a new world reveals itself.

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
09-08-2013 02:30 PM
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Ky Offline

Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
Thanks: 1795
Given 1468 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
Post: #2
Attack of the Sandman?

Get more sleep, then.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
09-09-2013 12:44 AM
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