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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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A real challenge to stopping bullying
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #1
A real challenge to stopping bullying

Students often use false claims of being bullied as a way to bully others. They lie all the time and I usually have no idea what's really going on. Half the time when something gets reported it's the kid who's being bullied that gets in trouble. What can I do?

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
07-19-2013 08:54 PM
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timf Offline
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Post: #2
RE: A real challenge to stopping bullying

Quote:What can I do?

There is an old movie called, "My Bodyguard" about a kid being bullied who makes friends with someone who can help him.

Since school is like prison and there are those who are clever enough can work the system as a weapon, there are two major possibilities for students.

1. Be invisible. If you can manage not to have anything someone wants or be on anyone's radar, you may escape malicious attention.

2. If you are unable to escape attention, you may have to collectivize. You may not be able to wield a collective physical force (like a gang) sufficient to get people to back off, but even having people who can testify to your innocence can be a help.

A teacher is like a prison guard. You can never tell who is telling the truth. Since a bully is a lot like a dog in that they only understand a physical language, sometimes you have to make allowances when someone "speaks" to a bully in his own language.
07-19-2013 10:33 PM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #3
RE: A real challenge to stopping bullying

But in reality I usually don't know who the bully is.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
07-19-2013 10:39 PM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #4
RE: A real challenge to stopping bullying

Jeez the title of this thread is dorky

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
07-19-2013 11:14 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #5
A real challenge to stopping bullying

Use a lie detector. Razz

Or better, learn to face-read to figure out who's lying. Look up Paul Ekman, there should be some sites somewhere that explain how to learn.

EDIT: Also, maybe get something like this implemented in the school:
http://acestoohigh.com/2012/04/23/lincol...s-drop-85/

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07-20-2013 07:41 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #6
A real challenge to stopping bullying

Polygraph tests are usually effective when the person thinks the machine knows it all. Once you figure out that believing your lie and remaining calm/confident prevents you from getting caught, it's practically useless. There was one KGB spy who was able to lie right through 17 polygraph tests(all over a course of time), then sneak back to Russia and write a book about it, explicitly intending to insult American intelligence for every time he was able to lie.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-20-2013 03:35 PM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #7
RE: A real challenge to stopping bullying

(07-20-2013 07:41 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Use a lie detector. Razz

Or better, learn to face-read to figure out who's lying. Look up Paul Ekman, there should be some sites somewhere that explain how to learn.

EDIT: Also, maybe get something like this implemented in the school:
http://acestoohigh.com/2012/04/23/lincol...s-drop-85/

I've worked in those kind of systems before. The real crux of the design is to keep kids in school so the school makes higher attendance rates by using ISS instead OOSS. The process of extending false kindness encourages students to use teachers as their emotional punching bags. They will cuss out and intimidate and try to frighten teachers again and again because it gives the student a very rare sense of power. The student ends up with rageaholic problems. It's also very hard on the teacher's psychological well-being by increasing anxiety and lowering self-esteem. It's also very bad for the other students to be exposed to negative aggressive behavior day after day.

The school brags that referrals and out of school suspensions are down but in fact the learning process is destroyed and negative behavior has run rampant.

There's no solution in that system. Really caring is one thing. Devising a system to pretend to care is another.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
07-20-2013 09:17 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #8
A real challenge to stopping bullying

I once read somewhere that bullying was in some way, though not completely, a form of forming a hierarchy in the school system among students. Considering that there are cases where a bully him/herself is most likely being bullied by some other, it seems logic.

To expand on this, the logic of establishing your authority by demeaning others to a lower state is something humans have been doing for a while, in the simplest aspect of order and structure among society. The fact children and teens do it is simply a form of natural experimentation with a basic human trait.

But, humanity advances and progresses. We learn, adapt, change and "modernize" ourselves.

It's the difference between a barbarian tribe of the past, and a 1st world superpower of today, is that the latter possesses a complex rule of law, with everything(almost) written down and people to enforce those laws. No longer is it the elder of the group, or the strongest in the group, with the laws changing every time, or remaining so rigid as to be unable to apply to progressing ideas.

Schools, unfortunately, seem to exist as "camps" with the administrators as the "elders" and the teachers as their "bodyguards". They don't necessarily all want to enforce modern laws, but simply only enforce laws that directly pertain to them or their camps. Bullying, a form of establishing hierarchy as I've mentioned, only pertains to the student body in their eyes, and as such they will more often than not refuse to take it seriously or take appropriate action(either little or extreme action rather than a just action).

Students are being brought up and educated in a system that lags behind the current state of civilization and order/structure, while at the same time claiming to be preparing them for the latter system. It's like teaching new soldier's to use swords and bows for a battlefield accustomed to modern rifles and artillery.

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-21-2013 04:47 PM
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TheCancer Offline
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Post: #9
RE: A real challenge to stopping bullying

Again it's not always easy to see when jockeying for social position becomes bullying.

If you want to be a different fish, you've got to jump out of the school.


Captain Beefheart
07-21-2013 08:13 PM
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