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I really need to get something off my chest here
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #1
I really need to get something off my chest here

If you don't like reading long, angry-filled text, then you were warned beforehand.

This was well over a year ago but I still think about her almost everyday. Some of my emotional trauma can even be traced back to her. I’ll explain how abusive he was in these bullets:



*She could easily get upset over anything. She had very low patience and often yelled a lot, sometimes over minor things and when people asked or told her to calm down she just get even angrier. She did this clapping thing with his hands when he got mad which annoyed the shit out of me personally. She was also ready to fight or argue with someone without fear and it was like that almost every day. She drove many classmates, friends and teachers away because of him screaming.

* She was not afraid to call out your bullshit. She was very confident and took what was hers without hesitation. She had a great talent on how to read people and she used it against them. That brings me to my next point.

* She didn’t know the definition of privacy, personal space, or self-reflection. She was very invasive and in your face if she heard or saw you doing something wrong. It would be fine if she didn’t do it five times a day with an attitude about it. It got really annoying when she didn’t get the hint to go away. She took your annoyance of her bothering you as an insult and yelled at you further. She felt the only way to express why people were wrong was by screaming at them.

In her own words: "I'M NOT GOING TO BE NICE! NO, I'M GOING OT BE ANGRY WHEN I SAY IT!!" In which our English teacher happily agrees.

She didn't understand tact, patience or just calming the fuck down for just a quick second. The reason why she was so angry was because she was too invasive but she felt he had to be involved in people’s affairs because she couldn’t let bullshit slide for too long. Most of the days, I just sat back and watched it all. Because she was so mature and had a rep with the teachers she could roam from class to class without much trouble, looking around for anyone talking and then to butt into their conversations. She then moved from group to group until she finally had to some work. It was really annoying.

* When we said that she was being too harsh, heartless or abusive she made it very clear that she did not care at all and it made it impossible to explain how grating and vulgar she could be. She was usually not afraid of threats of punishment or actual punishment because she didn’t care about them.

* She was so self-absorbed. She only seemed to be invasive and angry because everyone was ruining his own well being. If none of her friends were around he either just kept to herself or roamed the halls and classes trying be some sort of "Dr. Phil" towards everyone, trying to find out all the news and gossip about people so she could later use it against people. She mentioned how everyone was “stupid” or “retarded” because she was smarter than some. She didn’t really have to try at anything because she got most of it. She got really pissed when people didn’t understand simple concepts she did. She isolated himself form many activities or class meetings because she believed she was above everyone involved.

* She was a hypocrite. Most of the stuff she criticized everyone of doing was ever so present within herself. She got mad at anyone who complained a lot, yelled a lot, talked shit behind her back (which she did to others) or invaded her privacy. She believed that she could get away with all because she was so better than everyone.

* She mostly hated authority. She knew how to take care of herself and really didn’t need anyone to tell her how to run her life. So it made trying to punish her increasingly difficult. I had this feeling that good portions of the staff were secretly afraid of her based on the points above. She was also the first to get people in line, usually in an abusive manner. She always seemed to get an attitude or yelled at anyone if they messed up.


Probably the only reason she wasn’t beaten half to death by everyone because everyone feared getting arrested or attacked by her loved ones. But look at the damage she's done. She's drove so many people into silence and depression because of her attitude and her screaming episodes and yet she doesn't care at all. or enough to apologize and admit when she fucked up.

Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 07-17-2013 11:03 AM by Miller0700.)
07-15-2013 09:53 AM
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Post: #2
I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Who exactly are we talking about?

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07-15-2013 11:02 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Someone in my class.

* It's actually a girl, but I don't feel like editing all that out.

Previously known as Derchin.
07-15-2013 11:18 AM
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Post: #4
I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Maybe she's being forced to act nice to everyone in order to not get in trouble. I know you said everyone was too scared of her to do anything but maybe she got busted for something pretty bad somehow and if she doesn't act like an angel she's screwed.

It's also a possibility she did actually change, I just don't know how likely that is.

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07-15-2013 11:30 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

She doesn't force herself to be nice. She was not out to be fake to please anyone. If she was pissed, she was pissed and if she got in trouble for not "acting nice," then so be it.

Previously known as Derchin.
07-15-2013 11:49 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

And I'm pretty sure she didn't change. She rarely changes for anyone.

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07-15-2013 11:50 AM
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Post: #7
I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Huh...then I have no fucking idea.

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07-15-2013 12:07 PM
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Potato Offline
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Post: #8
I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Quote:Opinions?
are you seriously asking for "opinions" on the girl that you've been flat out demonizing with this whole post? you're a douche for making the title seem like there is some sort of topic for discussion here.
07-15-2013 12:49 PM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Opinions needed]

Demonized? Did you even read the post or did you just jump to conclusions? Do you have any goddam clue how this shit has effected me and countless others in the long run? No you don't.

All you have is a whimsical attack on the fact that I asked for any opinions.

Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 07-15-2013 01:41 PM by Miller0700.)
07-15-2013 01:34 PM
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stevehein Offline
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Post: #10
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

first, i reported potatoe's post.

second, here is part of what i wrote to miller in a pm.

--
u werent demonizing her. u did a pretty impressive job of describing her. im sorry u had to live around her. i can see why ud be afraid to speak up. and why ud feel depressed.
----

im realy tired of seeing people attacking people who are in pain.

i know people here are pretty much all in some kind of pain, but there is agressive and non-agressive pain expression, let's say.

i've been talking to sr a lot about what's happening here and it seems we agree that the forums would be better if the hurtful, aggressive posts became a thing of the past. i am not sure how to get there without just banning pple. i know she doesnt like to do that. but something needs to be done, id say. personally i needed to take a break from here bc it was too discouraging to see what pple are saying and the low level of skill in listening, showing emotional support etc

i feel bad for anyone who is in pain and i know anyone in pain needs help, but i have no doubt that the least aggressive people are getting scared away. maybe there should be a separate place for aggressive people who need to express their painful feelings in hurtful ways. or maybe a "safe" place...idk the answer. i really dont. but whenever i see something like this and im not too depressed or busy etc, i will flag it or something. id recommend other pple who agree with me also speak up and flag/repot things to sr. i really feel sure she wants to turn the forum around based on all my talks with her. if i am wrong she can correct me here. i know she doesnt like to take strong stands in confronting pple so im kind of helping her out. or i hope she feels helped. i invite her to tell me cuz this is of course, her baby. or should i say her ten year old..
07-15-2013 02:04 PM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #11
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

You didn't need to report him. He has his opinion and he felt he needed to express it. I don't like it but I can't stop him from expressing it.

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07-15-2013 02:06 PM
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stevehein Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

well let's say i felt a need to. and i suspect sr will appreciate it. i havent reported anyone before, so this is kind of a test to see if she appreciates me flagging it or if she'd rather i and others let this stuff slide.

to me it falls in the category of abusive. as does about half of the stuff i see here maybe ha ha. but oh well, if sr wants to clean up things, u gotta start somewhere.
07-15-2013 02:12 PM
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brainiac3397 Offline
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Post: #13
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

(07-15-2013 02:06 PM)Miller0700 Wrote:  You didn't need to report him. He has his opinion and he felt he needed to express it. I don't like it but I can't stop him from expressing it.

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."-Voltaire.

Gah. I'm going to have to ditch my trolling-mental-institute-escapee hat for a minute here.

What exactly is your problem? her behavior, which sometimes is directed at you? I'm guessing that means the behavior is troublesome to you, hence you describing it as causing "emotional trauma".

Now, I'll be honest, I will not understand your problem and why her behavior may have caused you trauma. I'm a calmly aggressive person, and when I encounter annoying people, I don't hesitate to put them in their places with very harsh words.

What I can understand is her behaviors seem to be a mix of individualist, Machiavellian but also lacking of self-confidence/self-esteem. There seems to be something she seeks to hide, a weakness or wound, by diverting all attention to her absurd and rough behavior and the targeting of everyone around her.

It wasn't her confidence in calling out your bullshit, it was her appearance of confidence in calling your bullshit out. Considering normal human behavior, when encountering such people, normal humans stop acting in ways that cause said reaction, which said person is aware of. However, the truth will be more apparent when someone else who also doesn't give a shit and also behaves in the same behavior sans the obtrusive actions.

As long as everyone actually has her on their minds(you, for one seem to), her self-worth exists. When she encounters someone who doesn't care for her, she'll do her best to make them care. What she needed was someone truly better than her. Someone who was superior and did not act like a vulgar animal.(While we may all speak of equality and other stuff, I believe civil superiority still exists. It's simply more complicated and subtle the more you superior you are. Like the saying "A badass isn't the one who says he's a badass, a badass just is").

Think of her like those celebrities out there. They NEED to be on the news, on TV, to consider themselves "something". She has the same issue, she NEEDS to be "inside" of everything thing because otherwise her self-worth depreciates.

And she is definitely not mature. Perhaps the teachers are simply fools or don't understand what maturity is.

Fear is her weapon, and by the sounds of it, she managed to use it quite well. Sure, the defense against it may sound a bit dangerous(like getting attacked by her loved ones would hurt, but proudly resisting and continuing to resist after a beat down would be sign of strength.)

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(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-15-2013 04:28 PM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #14
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Off on a few points, but a nicely thought out piece.

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07-16-2013 02:57 AM
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Potato Offline
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Post: #15
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Quote:Demonized? Did you even read the post or did you just jump to conclusions?

first, "demonize" is defined as "Portray as wicked and threatening."

and if you want someone to look bad, it's more effective to tell about what exactly they did, than what you think they are.

"kevin kicked a cat" is more informative than "kevin is a hypocritical self-absorbed ill-tempered asshole"

Quote: All you have is a whimsical attack on the fact that I asked for any opinions.

you have a reason to have an opinion of her because you're in her class, but i don't because you chose to spend most of that post putting forth your opinions rather than specific examples. you haven't provided too much to allow me to have an opinion on your classmate and it obviously was not a priority for you, you wrote to vent and that's cool, but your request for opinions seemed like an ploy for views.

and if you don't like how she's affecting you emotionally, have you considered ignoring her, and not making threads about her?
07-16-2013 02:58 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #16
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

(07-16-2013 02:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  first, "demonize" is defined as "Portray as wicked and threatening."

and if you want someone to look bad, it's more effective to tell about what exactly they did, than what you think they are.

"kevin kicked a cat" is more informative than "kevin is a hypocritical self-absorbed ill-tempered asshole"

So I take it you didn't really read it.

(07-16-2013 02:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  you have a reason to have an opinion of her because you're in her class, but i don't because you chose to spend most of that post putting forth your opinions rather than specific examples.

I actually did put examples in.

(07-16-2013 02:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  you haven't provided too much to allow me to have an opinion on your classmate and it obviously was not a priority for you, you wrote to vent and that's cool, but your request for opinions seemed like an ploy for views.

I changed it to "advice".

And no, it was not a plot to get more views. I'm not that desperate.

(07-16-2013 02:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  and if you don't like how she's affecting you emotionally, have you considered ignoring her, and not making threads about her?

We don't see each other anymore, but I still get effected by it.

Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 07-16-2013 04:47 AM by Miller0700.)
07-16-2013 03:45 AM
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Post: #17
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Not to be a dick but I don't understand what was so bad about Potato's post. Besides him calling Miller a douche.

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07-16-2013 05:27 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

He's saying that I'm not being descriptive enough, essentially demonizing the person in question, despite that I gave examples to the contrary.

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07-16-2013 05:28 AM
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Post: #19
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Yeah I guess I could see how that would be annoying.

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07-16-2013 05:34 AM
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Post: #20
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

She sounds like a female version of Potato. Wink

As far as I can tell, Miller's OP was clearly stated as venting and that he wanted opinions/advice, so calling him a douche is definitely not something that belongs in this thread (that kind of thing goes in the frag arena... for now). So I warned Potato.

Eventually I'd like to get rid of the Frag Arena entirely... maybe. I like free speech and all, but the harshness actually gets in the way of free speech - ie, sensitive people are too afraid to talk about their feelings because of the reactions they might get. I know what that's like, I was a very sensitive person. I can handle a lot more crap now, but I'd like to do something for the people who can't handle that much yet, and I'd prioritize that over 100% free speech if it comes down to picking one over the other.

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07-16-2013 06:10 AM
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Potato Offline
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Post: #21
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Quote:I actually did put examples in.

i did read all of it and counted no more than 1 and a half anecdotes in the entire thing.

Quote:I changed it to "advice".

And no, it was not a plot to get more views. I'm not that desperate.

your original post is a page-long pointless attack towards a former classmate, not a good starting point for anything constructive. if you want advice, you should focus on explaining a problem that you want a solution to, or get better at it.

Quote:She sounds like a female version of Potato.


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Quote:Eventually I'd like to get rid of the Frag Arena entirely... maybe. I like free speech and all, but the harshness actually gets in the way of free speech - ie, sensitive people are too afraid to talk about their feelings because of the reactions they might get. I know what that's like, I was a very sensitive person. I can handle a lot more crap now, but I'd like to do something for the people who can't handle that much yet, and I'd prioritize that over 100% free speech if it comes down to picking one over the other.

looks like this is about to become a forum where a sensitive person can say stupid shit and be protected from all criticism just for being sensitive. this reminds me of how ppl don't criticize religion. oh well i was gona leave anyway
07-16-2013 09:58 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #22
RE: I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

(07-16-2013 09:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  i did read all of it and counted no more than 1 and a half anecdotes in the entire thing.

That's my point. That was what I was trying to convey to you.

(07-16-2013 09:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  your original post is a page-long pointless attack towards a former classmate, not a good starting point for anything constructive. if you want advice, you should focus on explaining a problem that you want a solution to, or get better at it.

It was more of a rant, but I understand you.



(07-16-2013 09:58 AM)Potato Wrote:  looks like this is about to become a forum where a sensitive person can say stupid shit and be protected from all criticism just for being sensitive. this reminds me of how ppl don't criticize religion. oh well i was gona leave anyway

For the same reason why most of the old members left.

New forums: http://lunacy.strangled.net/

Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 07-16-2013 10:05 AM by Miller0700.)
07-16-2013 10:05 AM
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Post: #23
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Quote:looks like this is about to become a forum where a sensitive person can say stupid shit and be protected from all criticism just for being sensitive. this reminds me of how ppl don't criticize religion.
Criticism is fine... as long as it's constructive. Calling someone a douche is not constructive in any way, shape or form whatsoever.
Constructive criticism vs verbal abuse

Also, people have a right to request certain kinds of replies in threads they start. If they don't want criticism in their thread, and they say so, they damn well better not get any. I know that's not entirely relevant in this case since he did ask for opinions, but I just felt like throwing that out there anyway.

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07-16-2013 10:18 AM
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Post: #24
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

Quote:Criticism is fine... as long as it's constructive. Calling someone a douche is not constructive in any way, shape or form whatsoever.
Constructive criticism vs verbal abuse

something is an insult when it is intended to serve no purpose other than to make another person angry. e.g. "you're a faggot" "you have a small dick"

"constructive" means "helping to improve". my comment was intended to change his behavior for the better by pointing out that the purpose of venting on the internet is to release anger, and a thread where there is no potential for helpful advices or discussions should not be made to look like one where there is. asking for opinions in the title of the world's most boring rant in order to promote interest is inconsiderate towards other people or douchey. so while my comment did provoke a bit of negative emotion like all criticism must, and perhaps more than necessary, it does have a constructive aspect.

Quote:Also, people have a right to request certain kinds of replies in threads they start. If they don't want criticism in their thread, and they say so, they damn well better not get any. I know that's not entirely relevant in this case since he did ask for opinions, but I just felt like throwing that out there anyway.

ur forum ur rules but i'm going to respond anyway.

voicing your opinions and then shutting out all criticism, leaving only agreements for feedback, is one of the most cowardly, stupid, and pointless things that a person can do in my opinion. it does absolutely nothing good. your kind of system is where all bullshit grow and flourish

and i'm gona throw this out here because it's semi-relevant and interesting: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/uniq...-catharsis
07-17-2013 05:41 AM
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Post: #25
I really need to get something off my chest here [Advice needed]

If they want to do that, that is their right. I think it's fine in cases where they really feel like utter shit and need support more than anything else. In that cause if someone feels there is some kind of constructive criticism they can add that would be really really important for the person to know, I don't see a problem with posting it, as long as they're as gentle as humanly possible.

"Douche" is not gentle. Now, we all know Miller can handle it, and this wasn't really such a serious support case, but still. You could have worded that a lot better.

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07-17-2013 06:21 AM
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

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Post: #26
I really need to get something off my chest here

The human penis is actually not that large when it's not erect. And the average length when erect isn't the stuff you'd see in porno, contrary to popular belief.
And a douche is simply a device used to inject a stream of water into the body.
A faggot is a bundle of twigs or branches. Course this is if you do accept that American English isn't the only English in the world.
And in conclusion, I believe that the Spud is being as gentle as Solanum tuberosumly possible.

Now let's get this train back on track! Biggrin

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VIVANT ET DOMINI BRAINIAC AETERNAM!
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

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07-17-2013 02:57 PM
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Potato Offline
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Post: #27
I really need to get something off my chest here

Quote:If they want to do that, that is their right. I think it's fine in cases where they really feel like utter shit and need support more than anything else. In that cause if someone feels there is some kind of constructive criticism they can add that would be really really important for the person to know, I don't see a problem with posting it, as long as they're as gentle as humanly possible.

"Douche" is not gentle. Now, we all know Miller can handle it, and this wasn't really such a serious support case, but still. You could have worded that a lot better.

i can agree with your second paragraph because you basically stated the obvious, but your fixation on "douche" is a bit hypocritical for a person who piled on top of a comment that accused an exit thread of "fucking attention whoring." but the cause of your bias is understandable

and your (and stevehein's) whole philosophy on "support" is complete bullshit. sensitivity is not what deserves support. good ideas deserve support, wanting to moving on from unpleasant past events deserves support, wanting to do something good deserves support. wanting to steal an AC from a sister when there are spares in the house because "i don't care," or wanting to punish an ex for breaking up and to leak nude photos of her- are bad ideas which should deserve the strongest discouragements because in those circumstances, support is a terrible thing to inflict upon the people who might potentially carry out those bad ideas and the people they involve.
07-17-2013 03:16 PM
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тωιѕтє∂ Offline
Revolutionary

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Post: #28
I really need to get something off my chest here

I find it pitiful how you people honestly not know how to share your opinion and give constructive criticism without the possibility of hurting other's feelings.

Twisted The Twisted Smiley Belongs To Twisted Twisted

"Treat every problem as a challenge, not a dead end. And treat every question like an obstacle worthy of your effort." -my friend's wise Asian father (Sounds better in Chinese)

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07-18-2013 08:22 AM
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