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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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The Infrequent Brisance
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brainiac3397 Offline
Machiavellian Amoeba

Posts: 9,823
Joined: Feb 2013
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Post: #1
The Infrequent Brisance

I'm not exactly sure what it is, but ever infrequently I will have a certain dream. Sometimes I remember what it is, sometimes I'm left with a faint "sensation" of that dream.(I call it a brisance because that's how it feels, a shattering of my previous perception with some burst of energy)

What's unique about this is that I've rarely remembered dreams(implying that my dreams that I probably have were not "powerful" enough, in my opinion) but that these dreams specific dreams are far rarer.

These are the dreams, where I awake to find myself "aware" more than I was yesterday. I feel as if things have cleared up, as if something has changed. A lighter load, a sense of freedom and a burst of extra-confidence(not that I don't have a good amount of it, but this is a further bonus). Yet, this isn't a sort of re-energizing from a good nights sleep, as I know how that feels. This is something beyond that.

My theory has to do with my control of my emotions, where they then appear in my sleep in my dreams(though perhaps after building up over time).

Today, the most recent one that affected me, was more the subtle ones I've had. Sometimes for these dreams, I recall my entire day and see if I ever had something being the influence of my dream due to relation(film, TV, life encounter, a thought). Yet never do these dreams coincide with the stuff I've encountered in a day.

Back to the dream. Basically, It's me proposing to a girl whom I like(with the answer being yes I assume, since my dream skips forward in time for preparation of marriage). The details are pretty foggy though. Then I had another dream, where I was looking/exploring for something and had assistance from some hippy school teacher and people I knew(in the dream that is, I don't think I really knew those people, but in my dream I had a feeling I did). Bottom-line, everybody dies, I live and end up finding what I was looking for. What really sticks out from this dream isn't a feeling however(that would be the first one), but something visual:Glass, broken glass colored green, blue and red, and scattered all over the floor. I don't know why, but the glass and their colors seem to have been imprinted from this dream. Then I don't really remember anything else till the end of the dream, where I seem to be replaying the beginning of the dream yet this time differently(without the "exploration" and thus without the deaths).

And I feel as if these dreams are stored in my "emotional" memory, because I'll see something that these dreams seem to "imprint" on me, and that feeling will reoccur, though I'll be confused to why because I will not remember the dream at that moment(though upon thinking on it for a while, I'll probably recall the dream)

I'll declare this thread both a discussion(if anyone wishes to) and a sort of "journal" to entertain you folks Smile

Personality DNA Report
(06-14-2013 08:02 AM)Potato Wrote:  watch the fuq out, we've got an "intellectual" over here.

Hidden stuff:
[Image: watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme-240x180.png]
Brainiac3397's Mental Health Status Log Wrote:[Image: l0Iy5HKskJO5XD3Wg.gif]
06-09-2013 01:35 PM
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