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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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I Used To Love School
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Jessieatscheese Offline
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Post: #1
I Used To Love School

I live in Australia and I'm in year 11 now. I have been attending state schools for 12 years and I absolutely despise it.
I hate school so much. I can't stand attending it everyday, and when I have weekends off I'm just thinking about the fact that I have to go to school again in one or two days.
It's funny though because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my life.
I loved school when I started. I was a kid of course, and having friends and learning was just my world. I got bullied, and sometimes I hung out by myself, but I didn't actually realise that until I moved and came to the school I attend now. It's weird, I know, but I didn't mind, and the bullying probably shouldn't even be called bullying, more like teasing.
I've never had issues making friends, especially now. I am friends with every kid in my class (it's a country school, so that is only 20 kids) and a lot of the students in other grades. I'm funny, and I don't take things seriously, so I've never gotten into fights with anyone. I loved socialising most of the time.
I'm also smart, and I always have been. I'm not a genius. I'm an all-rounder. I do well at almost every thing I do (maybe not sport Razz). I've excelled at maths, english and spelling since forever (not trying to talk myself up). And I love to learn. I love to discover new things.
Up until around year nine I was fine, but I've slowly gotten more and more stressed. All of a sudden I don't want to be around all these people. They swear and they tell dirty jokes that they think are funny and they aren't nice people, but I still pretend that I'm enjoying myself when I hang out with them. I'm different to everyone else, and no one thinks that's okay. The time when I'm alone is the time I cherish.
I've become less and less passionate about learning as well. Now I just don't care. I have SACs due this monday that I haven't even started and I've been procrastinating for the whole of this year so far. I'm a good student, so I'm too scared to just say no and not hand in my assignment, so instead I stay up for insane amounts of time at night slaving away over essays I don't care about, books I'll never pick up again, historical events that once I've finished my exam on I will never, ever refer to again.

I don't understand how everyone else does it. I mentioned my distaste for the education system to a boy in my class who is NOT very bright and I KNOW he hates school too, and he argued with me. He ARGUED with me! He told me that it is important and useful and I was gobsmacked. They are all missing the point. Each and every one of us have been forced to learn these things and I know we all hate it, but everyone has become so numb to it. It's like, okay I know I'll never use these cubic functions again because I'm going to be a journalist but its important for me to learn this so I'll comply.

I'm a creative person as well, but I've stopped drawing now. I stopped playing flute after four years of learning in year nine. I picked up guitar and started getting really good but dropped it last year because I just couldn't find the time with all the homework I was doing. I used to do the cryptic with my parents every Sunday but now I just don't have time to, which sounds ridiculous I know, but it was something I enjoyed. I don't remember the last time I borrowed a book from the library to read for my own enjoyment. I can never finish the stories I right because I lose my passion for them with all the stress overshadowing it.
Worst of all, I've stopped reading my bible. (I don't care what everyone else's religion is or what they think of the bible, just picture it being something you love to do intensely). Everyday I'd read and I'd love it and it would keep me strong but now I've stopped. I haven't read it since term one started this year and I keep trying but I don't know what is wrong with me I just CAN'T get back into it, and I really, REALLY want to. It tears me up inside because I feel like such a failure.

I just want to be me, but me is some one that the education system clashes with. I hate how it works. I hate conforming; I hate homework; I hate how everything is about school; I hate pretending I like being with the others; I hate my teachers; I hate who I am; I hate school, I just hate it!

I've discussed homeschooling with my parents. Dad is more than happy for me to do so as he hates the education system as much as I do, and Mum was trying as well, although she doesn't like me not wanting to learn anymore. If I could learn about the things I want to learn... If only.
It's just too hard for me to do homeschooling now that I've only got less than two year left and I'm doing VCE, so I'm stuck here.

I'm burnt out, I have no hobbies, I have no passion. I'm just a machine now and the only thing I've maintained is my love for a dance/music group called Justice Crew who inspire me to keep on my toes and not stop trying to pursue my passions, although it's hard. Razz

I'm sorry this is so heavy, but when I found this site I was so happy that there were finally some people I could relate to and I could express my opinion to without fear. The truth is I'm just not happy and I'm expected to just do well and go on to university straight afterwards and that isn't what I want to do, at all.

Thank you. Rant Over.
04-10-2013 03:29 PM
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Potato Offline
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Post: #2
I Used To Love School

"I've become less and less passionate about learning as well."

passion for getting good grades at school isn't the same as passion for learning. learning in students is not aided by making us write essays about the most stupid topics just so that they can be skimmed through by one uninterested person, or research through the internet and create power points to present to a classroom as if we're the ones getting paid. I'd say 80% of what we do for school is a waste of time that has nothing to do with the intake of knowledge

http://www.khanacademy.org http://www.youtube.com/education https://www.google.com/
i find these far more effective than schools at supplying information.
04-11-2013 12:29 AM
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RandomTroll Offline
They see me trollin', they hatin'.

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Post: #3
RE: I Used To Love School

That was a mighty fine read, I am kinda stuck in your situation. Just hang in there bro, the end is near Smile
04-11-2013 12:36 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I Used To Love School

Hey there.

Hug

Well, since your parents are mostly supportive of the homeschooling idea, why not just do that anyway? 2 years is a long time. Tell them that it's school that has put you off learning, because school turns learning into this horrible, boring, mind-numbing, soul-crushing thing, and that if you have some time to recover from that, you will probably get your love of learning back. (This is also most likely true).

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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04-11-2013 09:20 AM
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SomeGuy12 Offline
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Post: #5
I Used To Love School

Hang in there! its spring, summer is coming soon, you can survive until the end, besides, we all don`t like school, so we can help each other out.
04-11-2013 09:57 AM
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HarvestLife Offline
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Post: #6
I Used To Love School

One year I had a sexist pig of a math teacher. So I thought "what if he got shot in the head..." Sadly, his brain matter would have sprayed the poor brunette in the front row. It would have been worth it. *.*

I suggest that you push for the homeschooling so that way you won't be tempted to jump out of third story windows. Which, I hear, is hazardous to your health.
04-11-2013 10:11 AM
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Jessieatscheese Offline
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Post: #7
RE: I Used To Love School

(04-11-2013 09:57 AM)SomeGuy12 Wrote:  Hang in there! its spring, summer is coming soon, you can survive until the end, besides, we all don`t like school, so we can help each other out.

Actually where I am its Autumn and all of our breaks are only two weeks excluding Summer break. :( This Monday is the start of term 2.
04-11-2013 01:30 PM
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Jessieatscheese Offline
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RE: I Used To Love School

(04-11-2013 09:20 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Hey there.

Hug

Well, since your parents are mostly supportive of the homeschooling idea, why not just do that anyway? 2 years is a long time. Tell them that it's school that has put you off learning, because school turns learning into this horrible, boring, mind-numbing, soul-crushing thing, and that if you have some time to recover from that, you will probably get your love of learning back. (This is also most likely true).

I would, I really would, but I have to have a qualified VCE teacher if I'm going to be homeschooled and my parents have decided its just too difficult to pursue. But, I will push harder, thankyou. Smile
04-11-2013 01:34 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #9
I Used To Love School

Oh yeah, I somehow missed the part where you say you're in Australia. We've had a few Australian members post about some other alternatives they tried, here's a wiki page with all the info on it:
http://www.school-survival.net/wiki/Australia

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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04-12-2013 05:11 AM
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Jessieatscheese Offline
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RE: I Used To Love School

(04-12-2013 05:11 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  Oh yeah, I somehow missed the part where you say you're in Australia. We've had a few Australian members post about some other alternatives they tried, here's a wiki page with all the info on it:
http://www.school-survival.net/wiki/Australia

Wow thanks for this, the website linked on there for my state was really helpful. I'll be showing my mum this. <3
04-12-2013 05:40 PM
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