I'm thinking of dropping out

[Mouser]

I haven't been on here in a while, but I needed advice and couldn't think of any other place.
I've been depressed for years now, ever since I started high school. Everything I do is monitored by the school CCTV cameras. Everything I do and say goes into some folder somewhere. For the longest time my self-worth was tethered to my test scores. I would work all day to complete my work, and I would come home and do more work every night. The brutal cycle would just repeat itself every single day. I never have any time to enjoy my life.
I'm an essayist, a political commentator and a social critic. I used to love to write, but school has smothered my creativity. They put me into a tiny rigid box from which I cannot express myself. Now I'm consumed with apathy. I've stopped writing, I've stopped doing my school work. Fuck, I've stopped caring about anything anymore.
I still have to go to that place. It's not just the pointless fucking workload. It's the students, it's the infrastructure, it's that I can't fucking leave! It feels like a prison. I want to drop out. I want to get out of that little box so that I can start writing again. Maybe I can get a job somewhere while I try to find a publisher for my work. What do you guys think?

[AnonBrony]

(03-11-2013 06:00 PM)Mouser Wrote:  Everything I do is monitored by the school CCTV cameras. Everything I do and say goes into some folder somewhere. For the longest time my self-worth was tethered to my test scores. I would work all day to complete my work, and I would come home and do more work every night. The brutal cycle would just repeat itself every single day.

That sums up my school in a nutshell.

[Desu]

How old are you? Where do you live? What would your parents think?

Make sure dropping out is legal (depends on how old you are).

Working sucks fucking dick (some jobs at least), I've been there. If you get stuck with a shitty job, you'll wish you were sitting in a classroom again. At least working full-time can suck. Part-time jobs that suck are typically bearable.

[xcriteria]

I can definitely relate to you about school.

Regarding publishing: You might want to consider self-publishing your work. This has become a pretty common approach, with even mainstream authors talking about it and doing it. Guy Kawasaki is one example, and he has a recent book out on the topic, Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur. The site is http://apethebook.com/ and it has a lot of related resources.

A big part of this approach -- or even going through a traditional publisher -- is figuring out how to market yourself. These days, social media is often a big part of that. What kind of writing do you do?

Regarding dropping out, where are you in school? Are your parents supportive? I dropped out and got a GED. If you have an interest in college, it's possible to attend college even if you drop out. Unschooling/homeschooling can be another option depending on your parents and how far along in school you are.

Regarding getting a job, what kind of skill and interests do you have? How would you go about getting a job?

For a lot of people (including when I dropped out) a big part of the equation is working out some kind of plan that parents are okay with. What's their take on your situation?

[Kundalini]

(03-11-2013 06:00 PM)Mouser Wrote:  I haven't been on here in a while, but I needed advice and couldn't think of any other place.
I've been depressed for years now, ever since I started high school. Everything I do is monitored by the school CCTV cameras. Everything I do and say goes into some folder somewhere. For the longest time my self-worth was tethered to my test scores. I would work all day to complete my work, and I would come home and do more work every night. The brutal cycle would just repeat itself every single day. I never have any time to enjoy my life.
I'm an essayist, a political commentator and a social critic. I used to love to write, but school has smothered my creativity. They put me into a tiny rigid box from which I cannot express myself. Now I'm consumed with apathy. I've stopped writing, I've stopped doing my school work. Fuck, I've stopped caring about anything anymore.
I still have to go to that place. It's not just the pointless fucking workload. It's the students, it's the infrastructure, it's that I can't fucking leave! It feels like a prison. I want to drop out. I want to get out of that little box so that I can start writing again. Maybe I can get a job somewhere while I try to find a publisher for my work. What do you guys think?

You just summed up my school in one post, congratulations.

[Mouser]

(03-11-2013 11:50 PM)xcriteria Wrote:  I can definitely relate to you about school.

Regarding publishing: You might want to consider self-publishing your work. This has become a pretty common approach, with even mainstream authors talking about it and doing it. Guy Kawasaki is one example, and he has a recent book out on the topic, Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur. The site is http://apethebook.com/ and it has a lot of related resources.

A big part of this approach -- or even going through a traditional publisher -- is figuring out how to market yourself. These days, social media is often a big part of that. What kind of writing do you do?

Regarding dropping out, where are you in school? Are your parents supportive? I dropped out and got a GED. If you have an interest in college, it's possible to attend college even if you drop out. Unschooling/homeschooling can be another option depending on your parents and how far along in school you are.

Regarding getting a job, what kind of skill and interests do you have? How would you go about getting a job?

For a lot of people (including when I dropped out) a big part of the equation is working out some kind of plan that parents are okay with. What's their take on your situation?

Hmm, I guess I can't indent.

I don't know much about self-publication. It sounds expensive and I don't have a lot of money. However, I will buy Kawasaki's book.

For work I'm thinking of doing some menial retail job while I try to get some of my writing published. As a writer, I would describe myself as a contrarian.

I'm a junior in high school and I live with my mother. She might not be too supportive of dropping out, but she is the type to compromise and allow me to finish school online.

[xcriteria]

Self-publishing these days is free. The bigger challenge is writing and marketing your work.

For example, publishing to Kindle is one option, as more and more people are using Kindle, and you can even publish short works and charge, say, $0.99 or $2.99 and you get most of the royalties unlike with traditional publishing: https://kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing/signin

If you want traditional printed books, that's getting very easy to do as well. Amazon's CreateSpace lets you upload your files and they can be ordered as print books on Amazon, from other booksellers, or directly by the author: https://www.createspace.com/

There are a few companies providing that service, but most of them charge some money for packages. There are also expenses to pay for copyediting, book design, marketing and so on if you don't do those things yourself.

Finishing school online is one option. Dropping out and getting a GED is worth exploring, as well. I started college a year early by taking that route, and even though I eventually decided that wasn't working for me, I did get something out of the experience, I think more than I would have had I transitioned to online high school. Thees days, so much of college is available online for free, that provides even more options.

One way to think about what to do is in terms of opportunity cost. There might be online writing classes, for example, that could be a better use of your time than how a prefab high school or college program would provide.

For example, the site DIY MFA covers how to put together the equivalent of a master's degree program by piecing together one on your own: http://diymfa.com/

I've learned quite a bit through writing pro Robert McKee's $20/month site http://storylogue.com -- he has lectures, interviews, and Q&As based on his books and popular Story seminar series, though it's mostly pertaining to fiction. Not everyone wants to formally learn writing, but getting a sense of the craft from experienced writers can be useful. Now, there are a lot of ways to do that.

For work, sometimes a menial retail job is the most straightforward path when you have another ambition you're pursuing on the side. Sometimes there are other options you can find through networking, like you might consider putting up a blog or guest posting on other people's blogs if you have some ideas of things to write about.

For me, the biggest challenge I've faced with writing is getting motivated to start. Going back and editing and reworking things has been a big challenge as well -- usually I just haven't done it. The result is not getting very far. Same with my brother, who started out wanting to be a writer and working in film, but now he's just doing a menial job (actually two) and is stuck in a sort of get by lifestyle. That's something to watch out for if that's not where you want to end up.

If you want to do political commentary, Nikhil Goyal is a good example to look at -- and he's writing about a lot of the same school-related problems you hit on in your post. Nikhil has had his articles and editorials published in a variety of places at 17: http://nikhilgoyal.me/articles/ as well as recently publishing a book, One Size Does Not Fit All: A Student's Assessment of School. If you have some new angles you'd like to get published in some kind of periodical, there are many options for that as you can see in that list.

In short, it's relatively easy to publish these days in some form, but earning a living at it is harder and requires marketing and building up an audience. And, more people are doing it than ever. But there are so many more paths to various kinds of success, with a lot of people explaining what's worked for them, so success in one form or another is more accessible than it once was.

[Alistoriv]

I can definitely relate to you about school. After a while I just sort of became apathetic and didn't do my work. I lost interest in things I used to love and just kind of glazed over everything. It's hard to remember pretty much anything from that time. I left the school and now I feel a lot better. I still don't like where I am and I hopefully will be able to switch again next year. I would love to drop out, but my family isn't supportive of that and I'm not yet old enough to drop out by myself in my state.

[brainiac3397]

I did well, but then became apathetic, then did well again, then became apathetic, then did a bit-well and became apathetic. Now I just don't give a damn, since I finished my testing and applications and school ends in just 3 months.

Not to mention I intend to apply to schools outside of America(preferably in my "home country", as I sense there to be more opportunities here[I'm not in the US at the moment]). Studying in the US then coming here would probably be a bit better, but I can not spend 4 more years there. 16 years is enough in my opinion.

[timf]

Quote:It feels like a prison.

The reason is that it is prison. You may want to read Alexander Solzhenitsyn. He is a good writer and understands prisons.

The school prison is designed to conform you to a certain pattern. Some escape this through rebellion and often can end up in real prison. The key to surviving the system's attempts to mold you can occasionally be found in rebellion, but more often can be found in transcendence.

In writing, you may find find other "prisons". Publishers want to publish whatever they think is popular and will get them money. These may not be the same things you want to write.

There was a guy that wrote science fiction named Orson Scott Card who wrote a popular book called "Ender's Game". If you have read it don't spoil the ending for someone who hasn't read it. The writer wrote some books following up on it that were not that interesting to readers. His publishers wanted him to write similar books and he did so but wrote how much he disliked having to write for readers rather than what he wanted to write.

[brainiac3397]

ATTICA! ATTICA!



I read Ender's Game. Had to read it three times to fully understand it(and I'm still iffy about whether I got all of it) but I consider it a pretty damn good book. Never read any sequels or anything though, since the book shouldn't have had any.

[SoulRiser]

Quote:I'm a junior in high school and I live with my mother. She might not be too supportive of dropping out, but she is the type to compromise and allow me to finish school online.

Well, that might at least be an improvement... and less "shocking" than dropping out. Or you could get online schooled first and then use that to transition into dropping out properly?

Quote:I want to get out of that little box so that I can start writing again. Maybe I can get a job somewhere while I try to find a publisher for my work. What do you guys think?

Start writing anyway. Write instead of doing school stuff. Write about what pisses you off at school... whatever. Just write something... and don't let anything stop you.

You could also write articles for websites... or start a blog, try to monetize it a bit or something. Just don't expect to get rich overnight or anything, but it could be fun.

[brainiac3397]

I wonder how I can finish my high school early. I want my damn high school diploma NOW!(I graduate in about 2 months and a week).

[Mouser]

(03-15-2013 03:17 AM)SoulRiser Wrote:  

Quote:

Quote:I want to get out of that little box so that I can start writing again. Maybe I can get a job somewhere while I try to find a publisher for my work. What do you guys think?

Start writing anyway. Write instead of doing school stuff. Write about what pisses you off at school... whatever. Just write something... and don't let anything stop you.

High school has been a 3 year long case of writer's block for me. I'm really struggling to be enthusiastic about anything. It's a shame because I have so much to say. I want to end this chapter of my life.

Quote:You could also write articles for websites... or start a blog, try to monetize it a bit or something. Just don't expect to get rich overnight or anything, but it could be fun.

I don't expect to make much money writing.

I'm surprised that this thread got so much attention. Thank you for all of the advice guys.

[brainiac3397]

Your welcome, now cough up the dough punk. This stuff ain't free...

I like to write as well, but I suffer from the opposite of writer's block. It's why I have an entire folder on my computer titled "stories" with 12 unfinished documents just sitting there. I've got plans for a 13.