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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

If you want to write about your experiences in school, you can write on our blog.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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My fucking annoying parents & an anti-school video
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GamerGurl Away
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Post: #1
My fucking annoying parents & an anti-school video

Well whose isn't? It's just, after this whole school bullshit, nothing good has really happened following the GED. My relationship with my parents is still shit. While I was on vacation my mom and dad decided to go into my room and take my Xbox cord and controllers so I wouldn't be able to use it. Get this: my mom said they took it away because I was being disrespectful and I wasn't looking for a job (you'll see why the latter makes no sense later in the thread).

Well I was on vacation and when I left my Xbox was left intact. Nothing was touched. When I left I left without saying a goodbye to neither my mom nor my dad, while I only said my goodbye to my half-asleep sister (this was around 7:45am). Throughout the whole vacation my parents had to learn of how I was feeling to what I was doing through word-of-mouth by my aunt or grandmother, and this was because I refused to talk to them. I just thought that a good time away from them would be a healthy thing and I just was never open to talking to them—and I guess that was one form of me being "disrespectful" because I believe she mentioned something along the lines of this. My grandmother would just ask if I did talk to them while I was there, but my aunt would sometimes bring it up and say what I'm doing isn't right and other similar shit while my uncle would belittle me throughout most of the vacation about my relationship with my parents and my computer usage. The vacation overall was a D-, and the only part I'd rate A+ would be being in my hometown of NYC.

Once I returned I noticed something was wrong with my room and I couldn't pinpoint it until I saw my Xbox area. God, I was so fucking pissed, and I even waited a couple of days too until I asked my mom and dad to give me back my Xbox. My mom would counter me, saying that I needed to get a job when I didn't even have my SSN at the time, and at the same time, was in New Jersey for almost a month vacationing! Total bullshit right there. I didn't get my SSN until February 13th, and I had been here asking for it for approximately 3 weeks until I finally received it. For the time being looking for jobs online has been unsuccessful. Being a 16 yr. old with a GED trying to look for a job has been so difficult because I don't fit even the smallest requirements, while others say you just have to be 18 years or older.

You know, it just makes me so mad that if it's not one thing it's another. Now that I have my SSN, let's say if they knew I was looking for jobs or even had one that my other requirement would be to start respecting them when they're so far off from even getting a measly amount of it! Not only is it disrespectful to me to go into my room and go through my personal belongings, but it's even more disrespectful to take that stuff for things that happened before it could or would even happen! Additionally, my dad has said nasty things behind my back, and being threatened by my own parents to be sent to court just to save their own asses because I refused to go to school is beyond me! Who in the right mind would try and not ask, but even demand respect after all that you've done? Even if you're parents, you EARN the right to respect. You never DEMAND it. Their point of logic and their arguments is beyond me. A lot of the times they know I've been so right about many things and just fallback on this "respect" or "not going to school" arguments just to try and shut me up.

Here's a few things my dad has said about me or did to me:
  • "I hope he (referring to his kid, who at the time was still not born) doesn't turn out like him (him being me)."
  • "Did he tell her (her being my little sister) not to go to school?" This quote was something very similar along the lines, and he accused me of this because my sister has been missing days recently (most were because she chose not to go).
  • He has talked behind my back to my aunt from my mom's side. He has told her things going on with me, but ever since I told him a few months back to stop I'm not sure if he still does this.
  • While we were at the court building, my mom and dad found a poster about this military school for me and even got down the number for more information. Luckily they didn't really do anything about it, but when I remembered the name I researched it and it was just a military styled academy and it couldn't be a coerced option.
  • My dad would tell me in the past that homeschooling wouldn't happen and just because. Unlike my mother (who at least gave a reason even though it was completely stupid), he would just leave it at: "You're not getting no homeschooling."
I'm sorry for this long rant. I know all I've mostly done here is rant, but I can assure you I'm going to be able to finally contribute to our anti-school cause after this thread. But the point of it is is that respect, no matter who you are or what your relation is to the other, respect is earned and never demanded. If you demand it, it just makes you a downright nasty person who really won't ever have any healthy relationships with anyone with that kind of attitude. Additionally, just going through someone's stuff with no valid reason whatsoever and going so far as to take it is just rude.

As for the anti-school KONY styled video, there are two points I'd like you all to help me out on:
  • How can we create an action message that can please the whole, if not, the majority of the anti-school community?
  • How are we going to try and convince those on the pro-school to moderate views to support us, including those who've never even thought or had the decency to think about this?
I will need good arguments from you all that I can discuss in this not-to-long video to show pro-schoolers that it's more than just "waking up early for school" or "having homework assigned everyday" or "having to deal with nasty and unthoughtful teachers", etc. It'll show them how serious we are and if the video becomes viral, just imagine how many anti-schoolers can use this forum's resources to their advantage. Once the anti-schooling community becomes prominent, the local, city, and eventually federal government will have no choice but to discuss the issue with the education system and to hopefully try removing the compulsory attendance laws.

The information this website provides and what you all will recommend me to say (or summarize what you say) is crucial to the anti-school effort. Activity on this website may also exponentially increase from the video I'm planning to upload on YouTube, and then we can carry out our plans; such as being able to be represented by millions of students that can lead walkouts, and hopefully protests around important government and school districts about being coerced (and maybe even practically enslaved) to go to school when there are many other options that don't need to be compulsory and can be done during any time of the day.

Tl;dr – Go to the goddamn top of this post and read this shit. Huh

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 11-05-2015 04:54 PM by GamerGurl.)
02-23-2013 08:15 PM
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xcriteria Offline
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Post: #2
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

This all reminded me of a talk from psychiatrist Dan Siegel from TEDxBlue:


Watch on YouTube

In the first part he explains his story. At 8 minutes in, he explains how school is imprisoning the brain. (Direct link: http://youtu.be/Nu7wEr8AnHw?t=8m8s )

Siegel talks about the brain regions that are involved in being able to understand and think in terms of the mind. When people don't develop those brain circuits and abilities, they'll tend to only notice concrete behaviors (like, "you're playing video games," without understanding the why of it all.) Siegel calls the ability to understand mental states, and empathize with others, "Mindsight," and he explains how school fails to develop these abilities in students.

Unfortunately, many parents just can't really attune to their kids' states of mind very well. This often gets chalked up to a generation gap, but I think there's more to it than that. I think a lot of people just don't know how, and in order to do so they would have to reflect on their own life and make sense of their own past in a more sophisticated way.

Writing about past events is one way to begin to make sense of them. Siegel wrote about how this can help stop the cycle of blindness in his excerpt from his book Mindsight:
Creating a Cohesive Life Story & Making Sense of Your Past
http://www.psychalive.org/2010/06/the-im...iegel-m-d/

Quote:The way we feel about the past, our understanding of why people behaved as they did, the impact of those events on our development into adulthood— these are all the stuff of our life stories. The answers people give to these fundamental questions also reveal how this internal narrative— the story they tell themselves— may be limiting them in the present and may also be causing them to pass down to their children the same painful legacy that marred their own early days. If, for example, your parent had a rough childhood and was unable to make sense of what happened, he or she would be likely to pass on that harshness to you— and you, in turn, would be at risk for passing it along to your children. Yet parents who had a tough time in childhood but did make sense of those experiences were found to have children who were securely attached to them. They had stopped handing down the family legacy of nonsecure attachment.

I think these concepts are just as relevant to looking at how education works and even how workplaces or communities work. If people's inner life narrative can't account for how other people's minds work, they're not going to be able to teach or guide them very effectively. The above article continues:

Quote:The key to making sense is what the researchers came to call a “life narrative”—the way we put our story into words to convey it to another person. How an adult told his or her story turned out to be highly revealing. For example, people who were securely attached tended to acknowledge both positive and negative aspects of their family experiences, and they were able to show how these experiences related to their later development. They could give a coherent account of their past and how they came to be who they are as adults. In contrast, people who had challenging childhood experiences often had a life narrative that was incoherent in the various ways I’ll describe in the following pages. The exceptions were people like Rebecca. Based on the facts of their early childhood, they would be expected to have an avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized attachment as children and an incoherent life narrative as adults. But if they had a relationship with a person who was genuinely attuned to them— a relative, a neighbor, a teacher, a counselor— something about that connection helped them build an inner experience of wholeness or gave them the space to reflect on their lives in ways that helped them make sense of their journey. They had what the researchers called an “earned secure” life narrative. Such a secure narrative has a certain profile; we can describe its features. Even more important, like Rebecca we can change our lives by developing a “coherent” narrative even if we did not start out with one.

I think that School Survival provides some of that sense of connection that gives people space to reflect on their lives. The fact is though that making sense of life is not just about making sense of the past and present but thinking about the future. This is especially important for anyone whose future isn't defined by a clearly-defined path like college + a life in the same job, then retirement. But that's what school seems to prepare people for. And so often school is expected to play part of the role of parents. So, what's next? How can learning happen in a different way than just memorizing things for tests? How can teaching me done in a different way than teaching one subject at a time, where any learning that occurs becomes irrelevant to what it all boils down to in the end, "get a job?"

Finally, what are the real lessons that are important to learn in life, and how does one learn them? That might make a good question to pose in the video.

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02-24-2013 01:43 AM
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Post: #3
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-24-2013 01:43 AM)xcriteria Wrote:  This all reminded me of a talk from psychiatrist Dan Siegel from TEDxBlue:


Watch on YouTube

In the first part he explains his story. At 8 minutes in, he explains how school is imprisoning the brain. (Direct link: http://youtu.be/Nu7wEr8AnHw?t=8m8s )

Siegel talks about the brain regions that are involved in being able to understand and think in terms of the mind. When people don't develop those brain circuits and abilities, they'll tend to only notice concrete behaviors (like, "you're playing video games," without understanding the why of it all.) Siegel calls the ability to understand mental states, and empathize with others, "Mindsight," and he explains how school fails to develop these abilities in students.

Unfortunately, many parents just can't really attune to their kids' states of mind very well. This often gets chalked up to a generation gap, but I think there's more to it than that. I think a lot of people just don't know how, and in order to do so they would have to reflect on their own life and make sense of their own past in a more sophisticated way.

Writing about past events is one way to begin to make sense of them. Siegel wrote about how this can help stop the cycle of blindness in his excerpt from his book Mindsight:
Creating a Cohesive Life Story & Making Sense of Your Past
http://www.psychalive.org/2010/06/the-im...iegel-m-d/

Quote:The way we feel about the past, our understanding of why people behaved as they did, the impact of those events on our development into adulthood— these are all the stuff of our life stories. The answers people give to these fundamental questions also reveal how this internal narrative— the story they tell themselves— may be limiting them in the present and may also be causing them to pass down to their children the same painful legacy that marred their own early days. If, for example, your parent had a rough childhood and was unable to make sense of what happened, he or she would be likely to pass on that harshness to you— and you, in turn, would be at risk for passing it along to your children. Yet parents who had a tough time in childhood but did make sense of those experiences were found to have children who were securely attached to them. They had stopped handing down the family legacy of nonsecure attachment.

I think these concepts are just as relevant to looking at how education works and even how workplaces or communities work. If people's inner life narrative can't account for how other people's minds work, they're not going to be able to teach or guide them very effectively. The above article continues:

Quote:The key to making sense is what the researchers came to call a “life narrative”—the way we put our story into words to convey it to another person. How an adult told his or her story turned out to be highly revealing. For example, people who were securely attached tended to acknowledge both positive and negative aspects of their family experiences, and they were able to show how these experiences related to their later development. They could give a coherent account of their past and how they came to be who they are as adults. In contrast, people who had challenging childhood experiences often had a life narrative that was incoherent in the various ways I’ll describe in the following pages. The exceptions were people like Rebecca. Based on the facts of their early childhood, they would be expected to have an avoidant, ambivalent, or disorganized attachment as children and an incoherent life narrative as adults. But if they had a relationship with a person who was genuinely attuned to them— a relative, a neighbor, a teacher, a counselor— something about that connection helped them build an inner experience of wholeness or gave them the space to reflect on their lives in ways that helped them make sense of their journey. They had what the researchers called an “earned secure” life narrative. Such a secure narrative has a certain profile; we can describe its features. Even more important, like Rebecca we can change our lives by developing a “coherent” narrative even if we did not start out with one.

I think that School Survival provides some of that sense of connection that gives people space to reflect on their lives. The fact is though that making sense of life is not just about making sense of the past and present but thinking about the future. This is especially important for anyone whose future isn't defined by a clearly-defined path like college + a life in the same job, then retirement. But that's what school seems to prepare people for. And so often school is expected to play part of the role of parents. So, what's next? How can learning happen in a different way than just memorizing things for tests? How can teaching me done in a different way than teaching one subject at a time, where any learning that occurs becomes irrelevant to what it all boils down to in the end, "get a job?"

Finally, what are the real lessons that are important to learn in life, and how does one learn them? That might make a good question to pose in the video.
That talk was really amazing and really made me think about this. The stuff I do is the only thing my parents think about without any thought of understanding as to why I do it. I know my parents have no "mindsight" because of this. Razz Pretty much so many people in my life that I've met have no "mindsight" at all.

I don't want to be the next generation that has no mindsight. I'd like to prevent that, and one way is to reform the whole school system with this video.

Additionally, about School Survival, this is what I like about this website. A lot of the people here have a lot of mindsight and if this could just be implemented into a reformed school system then I think we could be happy. I'd just like almost all traces of our current public school setting to be nonexistent because it seems like it raises kids to have no mindsight, and it also coerces us to do their bidding. I just have to be extremely blunt now because I've had just about enough of their bullshit.

Thanks for your post. Smile

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2013 09:51 AM by GamerGurl.)
02-24-2013 09:48 AM
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Post: #4
My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

Well I decided to take my mom's cell phone charger and she got pissed last night because I hid it and I wouldn't give it back to her. Apparently my dad said something about the lady that we all met at the court when my mom called him—and meeting this lady was back just a few months ago for me refusing to go to school. I don't know what will happen, but whatever this lady says won't probably be anything, if not, much at all.

What? It's a crime to go into your mother's room and hide a cell phone charger from her? On top of that, felonies for disrespecting your parents and arguing with them? I'm also immune from probably being sent to a military school or any similar institution. I have my GED. I'm almost practically an adult at 16. Not to mention that I also think like one, too. Wink

All I could think of when she reacted was: "How did it feel, bitch? How do you like it when someone snoops around in your room and takes something from you?"

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 02-27-2013 03:38 AM by GamerGurl.)
02-27-2013 03:37 AM
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HawkbitAlpha Offline
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Post: #5
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 03:37 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  Well I decided to take my mom's cell phone charger and she got pissed last night because I hid it and I wouldn't give it back to her. Apparently my dad said something about the lady that we all met at the court when my mom called him—and meeting this lady was back just a few months ago for me refusing to go to school. I don't know what will happen, but whatever this lady says won't probably be anything, if not, much at all.

What? It's a crime to go into your mother's room and hide a cell phone charger from her? On top of that, felonies for disrespecting your parents and arguing with them? I'm also immune from probably being sent to a military school or any similar institution. I have my GED. I'm almost practically an adult at 16. Not to mention that I also think like one, too. Wink

All I could think of when she reacted was: "How did it feel, bitch? How do you like it when someone snoops around in your room and takes something from you?"

And now we have a sweet taste of irony Razz

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02-27-2013 08:06 AM
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Post: #6
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 08:06 AM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 03:37 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  Well I decided to take my mom's cell phone charger and she got pissed last night because I hid it and I wouldn't give it back to her. Apparently my dad said something about the lady that we all met at the court when my mom called him—and meeting this lady was back just a few months ago for me refusing to go to school. I don't know what will happen, but whatever this lady says won't probably be anything, if not, much at all.

What? It's a crime to go into your mother's room and hide a cell phone charger from her? On top of that, felonies for disrespecting your parents and arguing with them? I'm also immune from probably being sent to a military school or any similar institution. I have my GED. I'm almost practically an adult at 16. Not to mention that I also think like one, too. ;)

All I could think of when she reacted was: "How did it feel, bitch? How do you like it when someone snoops around in your room and takes something from you?"

And now we have a sweet taste of irony :P
Heheheh the court lady called. She isn't a bad person, but I just don't trust those people over there. I just told her overall whilst trying not to be rude was that I didn't feel like venting. I like venting here, where people can really understand and I feel like just the amount of support here is amazing. The lady just wanted to talk. :)

I'm fine. It's just that my mother won't give in to my demand. :( Lol least her phone died. Serves that bitch right! Prevents her from answering the people calling for job offers for her and shit.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
(This post was last modified: 02-27-2013 08:14 AM by GamerGurl.)
02-27-2013 08:13 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #7
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 08:13 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 08:06 AM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 03:37 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  Well I decided to take my mom's cell phone charger and she got pissed last night because I hid it and I wouldn't give it back to her. Apparently my dad said something about the lady that we all met at the court when my mom called him—and meeting this lady was back just a few months ago for me refusing to go to school. I don't know what will happen, but whatever this lady says won't probably be anything, if not, much at all.

What? It's a crime to go into your mother's room and hide a cell phone charger from her? On top of that, felonies for disrespecting your parents and arguing with them? I'm also immune from probably being sent to a military school or any similar institution. I have my GED. I'm almost practically an adult at 16. Not to mention that I also think like one, too. Wink

All I could think of when she reacted was: "How did it feel, bitch? How do you like it when someone snoops around in your room and takes something from you?"

And now we have a sweet taste of irony Razz
Heheheh the court lady called. She isn't a bad person, but I just don't trust those people over there. I just told her overall whilst trying not to be rude was that I didn't feel like venting. I like venting here, where people can really understand and I feel like just the amount of support here is amazing. The lady just wanted to talk. Smile

I'm fine. It's just that my mother won't give in to my demand. :( Lol least her phone died. Serves that bitch right! Prevents her from answering the people calling for job offers for her and shit.

Might as well have some fun with them before you figure out how to move out. Continue pretending you are the parent and they are the "misbehaving" children. After all, their immaturity indicates that such is their deserved position.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
02-27-2013 08:56 AM
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Post: #8
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 08:56 AM)DoA Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 08:13 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 08:06 AM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  
(02-27-2013 03:37 AM)MagnificentMarty Wrote:  Well I decided to take my mom's cell phone charger and she got pissed last night because I hid it and I wouldn't give it back to her. Apparently my dad said something about the lady that we all met at the court when my mom called him—and meeting this lady was back just a few months ago for me refusing to go to school. I don't know what will happen, but whatever this lady says won't probably be anything, if not, much at all.

What? It's a crime to go into your mother's room and hide a cell phone charger from her? On top of that, felonies for disrespecting your parents and arguing with them? I'm also immune from probably being sent to a military school or any similar institution. I have my GED. I'm almost practically an adult at 16. Not to mention that I also think like one, too. Wink

All I could think of when she reacted was: "How did it feel, bitch? How do you like it when someone snoops around in your room and takes something from you?"

And now we have a sweet taste of irony Razz
Heheheh the court lady called. She isn't a bad person, but I just don't trust those people over there. I just told her overall whilst trying not to be rude was that I didn't feel like venting. I like venting here, where people can really understand and I feel like just the amount of support here is amazing. The lady just wanted to talk. Smile

I'm fine. It's just that my mother won't give in to my demand. :( Lol least her phone died. Serves that bitch right! Prevents her from answering the people calling for job offers for her and shit.

Might as well have some fun with them before you figure out how to move out. Continue pretending you are the parent and they are the "misbehaving" children. After all, their immaturity indicates that such is their deserved position.
This is going to be fun. I wonder what the court lady will tell my mom. Apparently my mom wants to see if she can get anything out of her mouth to get me out of here or under control or something along the lines. The problem is is that she'll just have to live with it because I'm 16 and you're considered a minor if you're under 18, and since I have no job that can pay for all of my essential needs I cannot emancipate myself. I probably might not want to if I did have a good job for a while because toying with them is just an excitement.

I'll continue until my mom issues the trade for my xbox stuff for her cellphone charger.

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
02-27-2013 09:25 AM
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Ky Offline
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Post: #9
My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

I would have said it would take more than a cellphone charger, but now I'd imagine she loves her phone...

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
02-27-2013 11:24 AM
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Post: #10
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 11:24 AM)DoA Wrote:  I would have said it would take more than a cellphone charger, but now I'd imagine she loves her limbs...

Fixed it for ya.

Hello, traveler.

This is an ancient account I have not used in a long time. My views have changed much in the intervening months and years.

Nonetheless, I refuse to clean it up. Pretending that I've held my current views since the beginning of time is what we in the industry call a lie. Asking people to do so contributes to moralistic self-loathing. "See, those people have nothing damning! I do! I'm truly vile!"

Because you can never be a good person with a single blemish on the moral record, I thought that simply entertaining some thoughts made me irredeemable. Though I don't care for his writing style, William Faulkner presents a good counterexample. He went from being a typical Southern racist to supporting the civil rights movement. These days we'd yell at him for that, probably.

People are allowed to change their views.

Nevertheless, this period of my life has informed some of how I am today. In good ways and bad ways. To purge it would be to do a disservice to history. Perhaps it will not make anyone sympathetic, but it may help someone understand.

If, after reading all this, you still decide to use the post above as evidence that I am evil today, ask yourself if you have never disagreed with the moral code you now follow. In all likelihood you did, at some point. If some questions are verboten, and the answer is "how dare you ask that," don't expect your ideological opponents to ever change their minds.
02-27-2013 11:29 AM
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GamerGurl Away
"Queen of Cosplay"

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Post: #11
RE: My Fucking Annoying Parents & The Anti-School KONY Styled Video

(02-27-2013 11:24 AM)DoA Wrote:  I would have said it would take more than a cellphone charger, but now I'd imagine she loves her phone...
I really would have taken her phone, but because I used it one time while she was sleeping she hid it once she saw there was some message missing. I even told her I didn't delete any of her messages. I think her phone is just plainly jacked up. If I do see it, however, what I will do is taunt her by trading in the phone with its charger. Wink

Seven crappy hours of our lives.
02-27-2013 09:20 PM
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