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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
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Not for attention
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Dirtbikemike
Balls denser than a White Dwarf
Posts: 893
Joined: Dec 2011
Thanks: 37
Given 78 thank(s) in 45 post(s)
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Not for attention
I, using free will, have horrible grades in school. A few of my teachers, currently and in the past, think it's helpful when they call me to their desk or crouch/sit next to me and lecture me about my grades. They don't try to stay quiet and keep it between just me and said teacher, but they say it out loud for everyone in the room to hear.
Teacher:"You do know you have a 1% in this class? A ONE PERCENT! Mike, what are you gonna do about this?"
[Insert my bullshit answer here]
Teacher: "Well, I want to help, but I'm out of ideas for how to motivate you."
Damn right every single person in the room heard it.
Now the part I don't like, when everyone asks me about what they just heard...
Them: Dude do you actually have a 1 percent?
Me: Yes.
Them: Dude!!! How do you even do that!?
Me: I don't care.
Them: How could you not care!? My parents would kill me! You know you're gonna fail in life now?
Me: Ok, great, can you go away?
Them: (after obviously not hearing what I just told them) Seriously, dude, do you realize how much you're messing up your life?
Me: Yes, go away.
Them: Are you gonna go live in a cardboard box after your parents kick you out?
Me: No, I'm not as useless as the zombies that school produces. Go away.
Them: Zombies!? What? I'm not a zombie!
Me: How much time do you spend on your homework every night?
Them: Maybe 4 hours.
Me: My point proven. Now seriously go away.
(I could go on for a while but I think you get the point)
That is what I don't want. I don't want attention from people. I don't mind that they know what my grades are but I don't then want them interrogating me for the next 5 minutes with the indoctrination bullshit that's been shoved down their throats for their whole life.
I openly show this emotion to them too. I slowly escalate from slightly answering their questions, to "Go away" after every question to "Seriously, go away" to "Fuck off".
Balls of Steel:
(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote: Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
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| 12-10-2012 11:39 AM |
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Ky
Shadow
Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
Thanks: 1794
Given 1469 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
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Not for attention
I know that feel. I'm not sure why everyone is so concerned as to how everyone else "performs" in school.
Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
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| 12-10-2012 01:13 PM |
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LiptomaticMate
N/A
Posts: 627
Joined: Oct 2012
Thanks: 6
Given 61 thank(s) in 45 post(s)
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Not for attention
I know exactly what you're saying and feeling if that is the case as well. However, because of my parents pestering, annoying and nagging attitude towards me the entire time to do homework and etceral bullshit, I kind of have no choice. There was a period when I only had C's an D's, but my parents power of nagginess prevented that.
I don't know what to tell you, I can tell you that you're not the only one and that the only difference between your friends attitude towards you, in similarity with my friends acting to me is that mine ignore instead of asking. You have bad grades, I do not talk to you. ....Idiots. However, having even the slightest grades would have been smarter then not caring 100%. School is shit, but having at least some grades which are worth a little bit, could be in handy in this school dependent fucked up society.
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| 12-10-2012 02:33 PM |
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SoulRiser
Site Founder
Posts: 18,240
Joined: Aug 2001
Thanks: 2669
Given 1978 thank(s) in 1208 post(s)
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Not for attention
I know what you mean about not wanting attention about things. People who don't understand, and then think they need to 'help' somehow, that really annoys me.
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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| 12-10-2012 11:36 PM |
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Ky
Shadow
Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
Thanks: 1794
Given 1469 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
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Not for attention
The one time anyone stops to help me with anything, it regards the things I least care about...and it's everyone at once.
I might be wrong here, but that's not compassion. That's sadism.
Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
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| 12-11-2012 09:12 AM |
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IamNoone
Pro Procrastinator
Posts: 705
Joined: Nov 2011
Thanks: 5
Given 63 thank(s) in 46 post(s)
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RE: Not for attention
In my school, no one cared about shit grades unless you were in advanced classes.
It pissed me the fuck off when people were like "OMG HOW U GET AN A WTF DAT SHIT SO HARD"
I came so close to snapping and just saying "No, I didn't study, I just happen to not be an idiot like you." so many times.
The purpose of life is a life with a purpose
So I’d rather die for a cause than live a life that is worthless
I don’t need the circus or the day of national observance
I need you to think for you and stop being a servant
-Immortal Technique, The Martyr, The Martyr
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| 12-12-2012 12:48 PM |
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ThorodonSorrow
Just another face in the crowd.
Posts: 174
Joined: Dec 2012
Thanks: 5
Given 14 thank(s) in 13 post(s)
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Not for attention
Idea:
Drop out?
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| 12-12-2012 01:51 PM |
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