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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

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Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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A New Declaration
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Ky Offline
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Post: #1
A New Declaration

My most recent government assignment has been to create a teen declaration of independence (or something along those lines). While most people did the bare minimum, I analyzed, paraphrased, and reinvented Thomas Jefferson's original, in regards to the U.S. Government today.

It reads as follows:
Hidden stuff:
When, throughout the course of daily occurrences, necessity arises for the liberation and activism of a large but unlisted group within the United States, it is historical courtesy to explain the reasoning behind it.

We hold these truths to be obvious beyond the need to list them, but will do so for convenience: That all men, regardless of race, sex, or age, are created equal, and are granted several God-given rights, that among these being life, fair acquisition of property, the pursuit of happiness, free speech, privacy, and, most importantly, liberty. In order to secure these rights, governments are constructed to serve men and pass laws for the defense of freedom. Should the elected officials fail to act as public servants, or should the government infringe upon the rights of man instead of defending them, replacements and reinventions may be rightfully made in order to once again preserve the security and freedom. However, over the course of several decades, replacements and reinventions have only been made by the United States government itself as it has declared itself the master of man, and not the other way around. Such has been, in part, the sufferance of children and adolescents from all across the country, and such is now the necessity which constrains the nation's youth to alter their systems of government. The history of the federal government is a history of repeated failures to address the rights of the people for the establishment of a pseudo-socialist order over the United States. To prove this, truthful facts will be presented in our case:

It (the government) has halted the law-making process by inventing a needless struggle between political parties.

It has only created laws that promote the well-being of government officials as they continue to filch from the populace.

It has refused to pass laws demanding the control of the government's process or budget, a right only formidable to it itself, while necessary for the people.

All who are elected are forced to succumb to its corruption as they become distracted by the tax dollars they could subtly line their pockets with.

It has time and time again called for outlandish reforms that promise the lack of freedom in health care and lack of privacy on the Internet, only barely able to be held back by the little will the people have remaining.

It has refused for a long time to limit the terms of legislative representatives.

It has occasionally attempted to restrict immigration, despite displaying the image of being the most free country in the world.

It has allowed executives to choose members of the judicial system that may or may not have experience in such a matter.

It has erected hundreds of bureaucratic agencies that pass their own mandates without the consent of Congress, further limiting the rights of the people and allowing the government to become more oppressive. Among these bureaucratic agencies is a particular one that has infringed upon the rights of the nation's youth - the Department of Education.

It has encouraged, throughout the world, the distrust of other nations by allowing the military to exist during the few times of peace, and has also engaged in needless wars, further depleting the nation's funds.

It has made restrictions in trade that prevent true capitalism from rightfully dominating the economy, arguably inspiring the world recession that plagues all nations today.

It has made loopholes and exploits for every single phrase in the Constitution, declaring even their most oppressive moves constitutional.

Worst of all, it has indoctrinated a large portion of the general public, forcing them to believe that:
- The government cares more about the people than itself.
- Government mandated social engineering, the shaping of society to conform to an ideal, is a noble goal that everyone should work towards.
- Public education is the only viable method of learning, while private schooling, homeschooling, and even casual self-learning are completely ineffectual.
- It is for the good of the nation's children that they spend eight hours a weekday within a public school from which they are not permitted to escape, and must comply to every order given.
- Without the completion of formal schooling, people would be too incompetent to serve as a benefit to any workplace.
- The government has every right to spend your tax dollars on whatever they deem best.

In every stage of these failures to preserve the rights of man, the nation's youth have humbly petitioned. However, the government waved our complaints away on the premise that we are not yet old enough to vote or in any other way control the workings of politics. Our complaints have only been met with injury - if the government will not take our strong voice seriously, they are unfit to be seen as the servant of the people, let alone get away with being the oppressors.

Nor have we been wanting in attentions to the older members of society. We have warned them, time and time again, of the wrongs within our society and the educational system that has oppressed us by will of the government. We have reminded them that we are people too, that we are indeed capable of rational thought. We have appealed to their humanity in hopes of becoming free. But they have been deaf to even their own kin, instead taking the side of the liars who claim adolescents only act on hormonal impulse, are attracted to pointless rebellion, and are not yet complete human beings. We must, therefore, attempt to campaign for ourselves rather than allow ourselves to be represented wrongfully.

We, therefore, the youth of the United States of America, do solemnly publish and declare that we are, and have every right to be, free and independent of the government's oppressive campaigns, and have full power to demand and enforce the much needed reinvention of this flawed system, and decide for ourselves our course in life like everyone should have right to do.

I think I gave my teacher what he asked for.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
08-26-2012 01:22 AM
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Philosophus Offline
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Post: #2
A New Declaration

Wow, that is a delicious Declaration xD I think you need to put even more emphasis on how teenagers in school go through this sort of subtle, subconscious mind-control process almost like a factory. Perhaps go into exactly how the Dept. of Education is wrong, and what sort of acts they do to make all children across the nation nearly the same with no personal interests, no thoughts of their own, etc.

But seriously, if you get the opportunity to read that in front of a class or something, go for it, and get everyone riled up. Also, if not, you should simply post it online for your peers to see, or print it out on flyers and distribute them secretly in school, like "accidentally spill" all of them over the ground so people pick them up.

On a minor note, I understand you have to mimic the style of the Declaration of Independence, but a few sections seem almost forced -- don't simply choose different words. You can probably write your own material but still keep the DOI "feel" with the content you already have.
(This post was last modified: 08-26-2012 02:38 AM by Philosophus.)
08-26-2012 02:36 AM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

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Post: #3
A New Declaration

This is only the rough draft, and it - as an assignment - is to remain unabridged.

However, if I were to do anything like this in the future, I would use this draft as a template for later versions and revisions.

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
08-26-2012 06:51 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
Here to save you.

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Post: #4
RE: A New Declaration

Pretty good so far.

Previously known as Derchin.
08-26-2012 02:06 PM
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Ky Offline
Shadow

Posts: 5,201
Joined: Aug 2012
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Given 1468 thank(s) in 972 post(s)
Post: #5
A New Declaration

Didn't get a word on it. I guess I was drowned out by all the other entries such as "HOMOWERK IS SO STUPED IM NOET GUNA DOET LOLO dat iz miy constutinon".

Public Service Announcement: First world problems are still problems.
08-29-2012 10:17 AM
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