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So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it
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Routine Offline
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Post: #1
So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

Hi guys. I've found SS back in middle school, now I'm nearly at the end of my second year of high school. I'm not expecting any solution to my problems to be brought up, but hey, ranting will make me feel a little better, if only temporarily.

So yep, I first started skipping classes back in middle school (before that I would go every single day like a clockwork and I would even THINK of missing class). But this year my parents finally found out about it (a grand total of almost a month skipped during the first semester? yeaaaah), which landed me at a psychologist and then at an appointment with a psychiatrist. So I've been diagnosed with depression and put on ADs.

I have a year left until I graduate, but as much as I tried to just grit my teeth and get through it, I can't. Everyone thinks I have it in me to endure a year more of school, but I. Don't. I have no willpower, I'm lazy, I'm weak, yeah, I know. Why did I bold that? Because that's the only advice other people can give me. One I can't even put to use. Thing is, I live in Poland where we don't have GEDs, online schools are only for legal adults (and since I was born in December, I'm not one yet) and homeschooling isn't an option. So I'm basically stuck at school no matter what. At the same time, I'd really like to go to university, not even exactly for the usual reasons, but more because for me it's a ticket to travel to my dream country.

I'm a sad, pathetic person. If not even my dreams will motivate me, then what will? I'm sick of being myself, really. Sure, there are fun times in life, but most of it is a drudgery. And if I don't have the energy to change it, then I might as well not live at all.

My anger at school is probably unjustified, yes. Yes, as my psychologist said it, it's me who's making it hard by maintaining this view of school. I keep getting told that high school is the best time of your life and that it only gets worse afterwards. So if I already can't stand it, then I have little hope that I'll be able to live in the society.

Kudos to anyone who went through this entire pity-party. I'd like at least my parents to support me a little, but obviously they don't. I mean, sure, it could've been worse. But I'm still afraid. I don't care if they ground me, take away the computer or other stuff, I'm just scared of what they might say to me, since I didn't go to school again today.
04-24-2012 10:24 PM
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Absnt Offline
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Post: #2
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

Welp, life goes on. No matter what happens, you'll still wake up in the morning. Don't give up hope on life just because school is a shithole. I've heard it gets better on the outside.

Blog I post to now:
http://blog.darknedgy.net

Edfreedom.org -- An organization for more freedom in education.
http://www.edfreedom.org/join-us/
04-25-2012 01:26 AM
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Faroven Offline
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Post: #3
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

Keep going. Try and focus on something you look forward to. Keep it in your head. Remember, we got your back.
04-25-2012 03:16 AM
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Dirtbikemike Offline
Balls denser than a White Dwarf

Posts: 893
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Given 78 thank(s) in 45 post(s)
Post: #4
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

It gets worse? Suck my cock Mr. Psychiatrist

Balls of Steel:
Hidden stuff:
(01-13-2012 10:37 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Mike you deserve an SS medal. Here, be proud:
[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
Congrats for doing something I never had the balls to do.
If you have kids, save them from the bullshit you are forced to go through.
(01-25-2012 05:36 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Balls of steel re-awarded. 
(02-07-2012 03:22 PM)flann Wrote:  Balls of Tungsten, now.

I found a picture for tungsten balls
http://bit.ly/xqd1zk

(02-14-2012 03:17 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Your balls are denser than white dwarf star matter.
(03-13-2012 08:27 PM)M3116 Wrote:  Balls of steel re-re-reawarded Nutter

(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
(This post was last modified: 04-25-2012 04:51 AM by Dirtbikemike.)
04-25-2012 04:51 AM
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The Shadowman Offline
Kane lives!

Posts: 278
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Post: #5
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

(04-24-2012 10:24 PM)Routine Wrote:  Hi guys. I've found SS back in middle school, now I'm nearly at the end of my second year of high school. I'm not expecting any solution to my problems to be brought up, but hey, ranting will make me feel a little better, if only temporarily.

So yep, I first started skipping classes back in middle school (before that I would go every single day like a clockwork and I would even THINK of missing class). But this year my parents finally found out about it (a grand total of almost a month skipped during the first semester? yeaaaah), which landed me at a psychologist and then at an appointment with a psychiatrist. So I've been diagnosed with depression and put on ADs.

I have a year left until I graduate, but as much as I tried to just grit my teeth and get through it, I can't. Everyone thinks I have it in me to endure a year more of school, but I. Don't. I have no willpower, I'm lazy, I'm weak, yeah, I know. Why did I bold that? Because that's the only advice other people can give me. One I can't even put to use. Thing is, I live in Poland where we don't have GEDs, online schools are only for legal adults (and since I was born in December, I'm not one yet) and homeschooling isn't an option. So I'm basically stuck at school no matter what. At the same time, I'd really like to go to university, not even exactly for the usual reasons, but more because for me it's a ticket to travel to my dream country.

I'm a sad, pathetic person. If not even my dreams will motivate me, then what will? I'm sick of being myself, really. Sure, there are fun times in life, but most of it is a drudgery. And if I don't have the energy to change it, then I might as well not live at all.

My anger at school is probably unjustified, yes. Yes, as my psychologist said it, it's me who's making it hard by maintaining this view of school. I keep getting told that high school is the best time of your life and that it only gets worse afterwards. So if I already can't stand it, then I have little hope that I'll be able to live in the society.

Kudos to anyone who went through this entire pity-party. I'd like at least my parents to support me a little, but obviously they don't. I mean, sure, it could've been worse. But I'm still afraid. I don't care if they ground me, take away the computer or other stuff, I'm just scared of what they might say to me, since I didn't go to school again today.
Dzjiendobry. I am half Polish myself, so I know a bit of Polish. You know what, fuck that psychiatrist. He obviously doesn't know that it can only get better after high school. Anyway, just keep soldiering on. It's only one year, and after that you'll be free at last. Just keep that thought in your head, and the year will seem to pass by more quickly.

The best bloody cover song I have ever heard in my entire life, period: http://www.youtube.com/user/sbeast64#p/c...yCFuP3rM2w
04-25-2012 05:52 AM
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Routine Offline
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Post: #6
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

Wow, you have no idea how much better the "keep going" advice gets, when it's delivered without the subtext of "and start getting better grades while you're at it, because the ones you get now make you inadequate."

But as for the psychiatrist telling me it only gets worse after school, well, she didn't actually say that, it's more like 90% of the people around me voicing this opinion, including my parents.

Right now I'm trying to get advanced English classes. The funny thing about that is that instead of having MORE English, I'll actually have way, way less. Only 1 period a week instead of 6. I think that if the teachers agree to that it'll make school at least a bit more bearable - English classes are a real bore. We learn it as a foreign language, of course, and I pretty much speak it fluently anyway... Well, wish me luck.
(This post was last modified: 04-26-2012 01:25 AM by Routine.)
04-26-2012 01:24 AM
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The Shadowman Offline
Kane lives!

Posts: 278
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Post: #7
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

(04-26-2012 01:24 AM)Routine Wrote:  Wow, you have no idea how much better the "keep going" advice gets, when it's delivered without the subtext of "and start getting better grades while you're at it, because the ones you get now make you inadequate."

But as for the psychiatrist telling me it only gets worse after school, well, she didn't actually say that, it's more like 90% of the people around me voicing this opinion, including my parents.

Right now I'm trying to get advanced English classes. The funny thing about that is that instead of having MORE English, I'll actually have way, way less. Only 1 period a week instead of 6. I think that if the teachers agree to that it'll make school at least a bit more bearable - English classes are a real bore. We learn it as a foreign language, of course, and I pretty much speak it fluently anyway... Well, wish me luck.
Good luck!

The best bloody cover song I have ever heard in my entire life, period: http://www.youtube.com/user/sbeast64#p/c...yCFuP3rM2w
04-26-2012 01:54 AM
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Absnt Offline
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Post: #8
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

And fuck the people who think it gets worse. They're the people who actually had fun in school, not people like us.

Blog I post to now:
http://blog.darknedgy.net

Edfreedom.org -- An organization for more freedom in education.
http://www.edfreedom.org/join-us/
04-30-2012 01:43 PM
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aCol Offline
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Post: #9
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

I've got one month to go. It's a fucking trip through hell at the moment. I've got a few tests now, then in a month the graduation tests. Really hard as fuck stuff. The first time I really play with the thought of studying on substances.

I hope you can go through your one year better than me. You have every reason to hate school, and when you hate it, without knowing why, something is wrong. Not with you. With the school. Just put some thought threw it.
What motivates you? You've got to find that yourself. School will not necessarily help you with that.
My friend draws for fun in lessons, and his drawings are getting better every boring lesson. I've asked him to design me a cigarette pack, and he did. It's good.
Two others love cars / motocycles. They work on them hard. They both know, like I, how to use a soldering iron. It's nothing you learn in school. I like alcohol (making it, and drinking), and making tobacco, so I do. Just find what you like, it helps to endure that shitty place. When you can think about it while boring lessons, it keeps your sanity.

I had the problem with my parents too. Lucky me, they came to reason. Problem is, here in germany, they have to ensure that you got to school...I had the police stand before my door once, I don't want it twice. God knows what I'd do with them.

Antidepressants, I don't know if they will work. Might just be "cure the Symptoms". I'm no doctor however, so I can't really tell. However, don't try the same as I did, and just drink your problems away, they'll be back the next day, possibly with a massive hangover.

We'll see if you'll endure it.

RIP GORE GOROTH

RIP GORE GOROTH

RIP GORE GOROTH
05-03-2012 03:13 AM
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Routine Offline
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Post: #10
RE: So I have one year left to go and I'm not sure if I'll make it

Jus' a heads up - the headmaster allowed me to take advanced English classes starting next year (well, it's less "advanced class" and more "individual curriculum", aka I will be "working" with the teacher alone). But hell, those teachers must really like me, because my grades are, to say the least, crap. But yes, 1 period of English a week as opposed to six? F yes.

One month till summer holidays, my grades will probably allow me to pass, exams next year. Fun, fun. At least, I can't wait to get into a university. aCol, you're saying to find something that motivates me, well I've already found it. I love learning languages and I love Japan, so I'm currently learning Japanese. Funnily, that's something I can do at school as well, but I usually pay the minimal amount of attention so I'll keep my grades at the passing level.

The huge plus of my school is open wifi. I take my iPod Touch with me to class and just browse the web to my heart's content. But alas, that gets boring too.
05-21-2012 12:45 AM
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