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School Survival Forums / The Lounge / General Talk v / My anus.

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My anus.
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Efs Offline
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Post: #1
My anus.

Well for a while now I've hated taking a dump. Because of the mass amount of toilet paper I need to keep my ass clean. For some reason I need to wipe like 500 times. I fill the toilet to a certain level and then flush, 4 consecutive times in one session.

And sometimes when I use thick toilet paper, I end up bleeding light red blood, probably an anal fissure.

Next thing, I just discovered I have some small bump on my rectum. It's really small but it's enough to get me worried. I can't really SEE it as my everytime I look at my ass in the mirror "WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE" starts playing. I didn't feel it much with my fingers, and I don't really want to. But I used toilet paper to see if I could peel it off, but nothing really happened other than just seeing shit on the toilet paper.

Then I proceeded to cleaning my hands 1000 times as shit is the most digusting substance to ever exist on this earth.

Please help me my ass doesn't hurt or anything, but it freaks me out.
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
03-01-2012 10:12 PM
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SaintVicious Offline
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Post: #2
RE: My anus.

You are fine maybe use some goldbon powder
03-01-2012 10:22 PM
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UnschoolShqiponjë Offline
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Post: #3
RE: My anus.

Da fuck?

Go to a doctor if it worries you.
Live until you die
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03-02-2012 12:28 AM
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Efs Offline
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Post: #4
RE: My anus.

(03-02-2012 12:28 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Da fuck?

Go to a doctor if it worries you.

I'm busy all week, I might go later on in the month.
It shouldn't be a big deal though. I can already feel the awkwardness of the doctor staring in my ass, and I'm only 16 year old, I don't want to be fondled by an old man.

And SV, use what?
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
03-02-2012 12:33 AM
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UnschoolShqiponjë Offline
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Post: #5
RE: My anus.

I got my balls checked by my doctor because I felt lumps, then I got sent to another doctor who checked my balls, then some lady had to fondle my balls and use some x-ray shit, then I found out I was fine. All the fondling was worth the relief.
Live until you die
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03-02-2012 12:34 AM
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fish20 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: My anus.

That blood thing is normal, ive had it forever.
03-02-2012 12:50 AM
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SaintVicious Offline
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Post: #7
RE: My anus.

my bad on the spelling
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03-02-2012 01:26 AM
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IamNoone Offline
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Post: #8
RE: My anus.

I feel like I'm on 4chan.
The purpose of life is a life with a purpose
So I’d rather die for a cause than live a life that is worthless
I don’t need the circus or the day of national observance
I need you to think for you and stop being a servant
-Immortal Technique, The Martyr, The Martyr
03-02-2012 02:06 AM
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aaaaaaasd Offline
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Post: #9
RE: My anus.

You my friend are unfortunately suffering from rectalus ragnarokus, a terrible disease which can only be cured if you visit my totally legal and safe medical practise in my shed
03-02-2012 02:09 AM
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Luizao876 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: My anus.

Never fell remains of shit in my ass master race
03-02-2012 02:17 AM
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Desu Offline
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Post: #11
RE: My anus.

You need to consume more fiber every day. In particular, insoluble fiber, which has no direct nutritional value since it's indisgestible, but it helps push matter through the intestine. I eat raw golden flaxseed meal, I just put like 2 rounded tablespoons worth into a glass of milk and just drink. Get a spoon because some of it will sink to the bottom. It doesn't taste like anything, I imagine it's what dirt or cardboard tastes like.

I use bob's red mill brand, it comes in a plastic pouch thing, it's relatively inexpensive, and trust me, dat shit made my shit like, very pleasant. I take very satisfying and unbloody dumps now, whereas I used to have constipation problems and what-not.
RIP GORE GOROTH

He was an hero. He will always be remembered.
03-02-2012 03:21 AM
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bulgarianlion Offline
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Post: #12
RE: My anus.

Shit absolutely sucks. I once had an anal fissure and it is pain the ass, I know. Get some cream from the nearby pharmacy, put it on your ass for like a week, if it's fissure, it'll be okay after that.

For the lump: doctor, dude.
03-02-2012 03:55 AM
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Teini Offline
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Post: #13
RE: My anus.

I feel horrible but I laughed throughout reading it. See a doctor for the butthole bump
(This post was last modified: 03-02-2012 04:09 AM by Teini.)
03-02-2012 04:09 AM
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The Desert Fox Offline
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Post: #14
RE: My anus.

Glorious mostly pleasant shits master race.
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(11-27-2011 01:00 PM)psychopath Wrote:  
(11-27-2011 10:52 AM)Efs Wrote:  Our Army is more professional than Amerika. Smile
Except ours isn't allowed to have guns
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krissy Wrote:dessert fox
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03-02-2012 07:46 AM
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Stadium Offline
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Post: #15
RE: My anus.

Oh fuck that happens to me too
We're gunna die
No, this is Patrick.
03-02-2012 08:58 AM
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Efs Offline
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Post: #16
RE: My anus.

Holy fuck my friend has the same problem lol
I'm pretty sure I eat heaps of fiber, and the bump I don't think is a problem. I couldn't find it, maybe it's gone. Idk. I'll check it out if I see it again.
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
03-05-2012 08:11 PM
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bulgarianlion Offline
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Post: #17
RE: My anus.

defecating is the most disgusting thing ever invented

after school ofcourse

i completely hate that gross thing coming off my butty

i hate i hate everything ok

i'm depressed i have to go to school in 10 minutes



argh
03-05-2012 08:13 PM
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Efs Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-05-2012 08:13 PM)bulgvar666 Wrote:  defecating is the most disgusting thing ever invented

after school ofcourse

i completely hate that gross thing coming off my butty

i hate i hate everything ok

i'm depressed i have to go to school in 10 minutes



argh

After school?
The worst time to shit is in the morning. It feels too weird and yucky, and it comes in pellets at this time of day.
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
03-05-2012 08:17 PM
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bulgarianlion Offline
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RE: My anus.

no, school is the most disgusting thing. second is poop
03-05-2012 08:19 PM
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Dirtbikemike Offline
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Post: #20
RE: My anus.

You need to eat a bunch of dietary fiber... Helps you shit
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(01-13-2012 10:37 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Mike you deserve an SS medal. Here, be proud:
[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
Congrats for doing something I never had the balls to do.
If you have kids, save them from the bullshit you are forced to go through.
(01-25-2012 05:36 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Balls of steel re-awarded. 
(02-07-2012 03:22 PM)flann Wrote:  Balls of Tungsten, now.

I found a picture for tungsten balls
http://bit.ly/xqd1zk

(02-14-2012 03:17 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Your balls are denser than white dwarf star matter.
(03-13-2012 08:27 PM)M3116 Wrote:  Balls of steel re-re-reawarded Nutter

(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
03-07-2012 03:21 AM
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Aya Offline
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Post: #21
RE: My anus.

ITT butt cancer
03-07-2012 05:44 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Post: #22
RE: My anus.

Fun starts at 1:07

Somewhat NSfW

Hidden stuff:



[Image: WARZONES_subs_hostility.png]
image hosting jpg
03-07-2012 06:05 AM
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Dirtbikemike Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-07-2012 06:05 AM)HeartofShadows Wrote:  Fun starts at 1:07

[Image: dea32-NO+meme-d4.jpg]
Balls of Steel:
Hidden stuff:
(01-13-2012 10:37 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Mike you deserve an SS medal. Here, be proud:
[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
Congrats for doing something I never had the balls to do.
If you have kids, save them from the bullshit you are forced to go through.
(01-25-2012 05:36 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Balls of steel re-awarded. 
(02-07-2012 03:22 PM)flann Wrote:  Balls of Tungsten, now.

I found a picture for tungsten balls
http://bit.ly/xqd1zk

(02-14-2012 03:17 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Your balls are denser than white dwarf star matter.
(03-13-2012 08:27 PM)M3116 Wrote:  Balls of steel re-re-reawarded Nutter

(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
(This post was last modified: 03-07-2012 06:13 AM by Dirtbikemike.)
03-07-2012 06:13 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-07-2012 06:13 AM)Dirtbikemike Wrote:  [Image: dea32-NO+meme-d4.jpg]

[Image: 618px-Trollface_HD.png]
[Image: WARZONES_subs_hostility.png]
image hosting jpg
03-07-2012 06:14 AM
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Desu Offline
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RE: My anus.

The preview of that video.

Fuck you.
RIP GORE GOROTH

He was an hero. He will always be remembered.
03-07-2012 07:29 AM
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Dirtbikemike Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-07-2012 07:29 AM)Desu Wrote:  The preview of that video.

Fuck you.
Balls of Steel:
Hidden stuff:
(01-13-2012 10:37 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Mike you deserve an SS medal. Here, be proud:
[Image: BallsofSteel2.png]
Congrats for doing something I never had the balls to do.
If you have kids, save them from the bullshit you are forced to go through.
(01-25-2012 05:36 AM)UnschoolShqiponjë Wrote:  Balls of steel re-awarded. 
(02-07-2012 03:22 PM)flann Wrote:  Balls of Tungsten, now.

I found a picture for tungsten balls
http://bit.ly/xqd1zk

(02-14-2012 03:17 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Your balls are denser than white dwarf star matter.
(03-13-2012 08:27 PM)M3116 Wrote:  Balls of steel re-re-reawarded Nutter

(05-14-2013 03:01 PM)Prince Darkstar Wrote:  Dirtbikemike is the only guy I know of on here who won an argument with a teacher.
03-07-2012 07:30 AM
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Sharpie Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-07-2012 06:05 AM)HeartofShadows Wrote:  Fun starts at 1:07

Somewhat NSfW

Hidden stuff:






OH. GOOD. FUCKING. GOD.

WHAT THE ACTUAL, LEGITIMATE FUCK.
03-07-2012 07:41 AM
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Luizao876 Offline
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Post: #28
RE: My anus.

OMG WTF WAS THAT?

Seriously,HOS, you are a fuckin asshole
03-07-2012 08:07 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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RE: My anus.

(03-07-2012 08:07 AM)Luizão876 Wrote:  OMG WTF WAS THAT?

Seriously,HOS, you are a fuckin asshole

Lol I warned you children and even hid it.
Don't blame me for your curiosity and besides its just nature.. Nothing to be worked up over.
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03-07-2012 08:09 AM
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Miller0700 Offline
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Post: #30
RE: My anus.

Don't know if to feel sorry for you efs or to be completely grossed out after reading this.


Perhaps both....
Previously known as Derchin.
03-07-2012 08:13 AM
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