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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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The parents will not listen
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NineCrimes Offline
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Post: #1
The parents will not listen

It does not matter how hard I try with my parents, it has always been "school comes first."
The only time I get out of going to school is if I get sick and prove to them I really did get sick.
School is beyond stressful for me and I am sure for a lot of you reading and skimming this. Everyday I wake up, go to school and stress. I can memorize topics, hell anyone can, but the moment I try to take a test, all that information goes right out the window. My test scores are lower than anything, but it shows that I can't "comprehend what I am learning"
My anxiety gets the better of me and I break down.
I am a sophomore , but in my school I have to take a freshmen class. This class is Physics. Now, I know it's just understand laws and blahblah. But it brings me to tears knowing I can not understand it as well as some people in the class. The third day of school, my physics teacher stated, "everyone who doesn't already understand physics is an idiot." thank you VERY much.
I'm proud to be an idiot then. I'm proud to be the stupidest girl in your class.
Realizing that this method of yelling at your students for not being good enough will not get you anywhere, but you continue to do it.... What?
As for my parents.
I need school.
That is the only way I will be able to get to a good university, and then get a job, start a family, settle down, be accepted by society and die.
But wait! There's more!
If I don't stay in school, I become a scumbag on the side of the road, barely scrapping by.
I love my parents, I do...honestly. But trying to tell them that every time I go to school, I stress so badly, my grades drop, I lose sleep, I've become more than depressed, i have lost friends because of school.
"school isn't about being social." they say. But if I bring up trying to leave school for online, "how will you acquire social skills you need for society?"
Make up your minds, please.
"you have to go to school. You need an education. You are not self disciplined enough to be home schooled. You're already a sophomore. You're not depressed, you're just a teenager. You don't have the same mind set as an adult. You're only 16, you don't know what you want. Without school, you'll be stupid. It doesn't matter what your friends do, you have to stay in school. Online classes do not provide the education you need. No college will take you seriously if you show up with an online 'degree' you won't get anywhere in life if you pursue your dream to become an actress. You need college. You need your diploma." seriously, this goes on and on.
Even if the conversation starts out with my parents listening, it ends in one of or all of the above statements.
I'm honestly not good at much, I'm not very talented. I'm weak, introverted, usually sad and I have a problem controlling my anger, but it is getting better. I refuse to take any medication. I'm not sick. I'm just stuck in a position that makes me feel miserable every day.
Homework takes up from 45-120 minutes, depending on the subject. That's 225-625 minutes of homework each week. Plus any projects school decides to throw at me as well.
Earlier, I explained to my friend, "to me, school is basically some type of cult wrapped up in a tiny, tight box hand delivered to society once it's been kicked into submission."
In my school, you either memorize or you're considered stupid.
I.don't know how to end this. I honestly don't know what I hoped to accomplish writing this.
I just feel so much better knowing I am not alone in this and I finally found a place I belong.
And actually, I'm writing this from the school provided iPad. Which is a little ironic.
Thanks for reading.(:
01-31-2012 12:30 AM
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RandomTroll Offline
They see me trollin', they hatin'.

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Post: #2
RE: The parents will not listen

I feel your pain, It sucks, I know.

You should try getting out of school as much as possible, try faking a sickness. Don't do homework, copy from somebody at school.

For the physics try going to http://www.khanacademy.org they have lots of videos on physics, math, history and stuff like that, they should help your grades.
01-31-2012 01:31 AM
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NineCrimes Offline
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Post: #3
RE: The parents will not listen

I have good grades actually, but the tests bring down the average a bit.
As for khan academy, I love it. I just don't use it as often as I should. I usually forget when it comes to all the home work.
If I stop doing homework that really won't help my case to do online schooling. I'm still trying to show my parents in any way possible that I am responsible. Also my mother sends me, whether I'm sick or not. Being sick is inferior to being in school. -___-
01-31-2012 01:42 AM
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Ami Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The parents will not listen

I feel for you. I really, really do. It's an impossible position to be in when your parents, who are supposed to support you, are deluding themselves you can't manage in life without pointless diplomas and empty grades. The problem comes if you actually swallow their bullshit and let it define you.

You said you're not talented at much. I don't know you enough to tell you what you're good at, but EVERYONE are capable of excelling in something, and almost always it's something they love. I have not met a single person who refuted that line of thinking. You just wrote this post to us with phrasing and eloquence that I'd imagine surpasses most of your classmates. You mentioned your parents don't think you can handle life being an actress. Well, that's bullshit. If you want to and stick to it, you'll become better at it, and being good at somethin allows us to make a living out of it, diplomas or not.

What would be best is if you could articulate yoursel in a way that your parents see the fallacies in their assumptions. It's your life, they wouldn't want anyone to pest them about what to do just the same as you don't. Consider using that to pinpoin exactly how they're choking you and show it to them. Assuming they're sane, they probably do love you.
01-31-2012 07:04 PM
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NineCrimes Offline
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Post: #5
RE: The parents will not listen

I honestly wish I could sit down with my parents and have a "grown up discussion". Yet I feel like I would be the only one in the discussion not saying "nuh uh!! Nope. Can't do it, not allowed." which makes this completely frustrating.
I know they love me and want the best for me but I need them to know high school is literally killing me. Is there any way I could present a compromise to show them I will finish out this year, then online schooling and if it doesn't work out, I can go back to hell for my last year? That grades and tests do not make me who I am or how 'smart' I am. Being attentive and self driven does though. And I will become an actress even if I have to work 2x as much. I'm going to do it. Whether my parents approve of my future occupation has no affect on me right now
School survival actually makes me feel like I have a purpose. Hell it has shown me I'm not just another teenager going along with the brainwashing system.
(oh! Thank you so much for your reply!)
02-01-2012 05:22 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #6
RE: The parents will not listen

First of all: Hug

It sucks when the people who are supposed to be the most supportive of you are the complete opposite of supportive...

You might find this interesting: http://eqi.org/invalid.htm

Other than that I don't really know how to get through to bone-headed people, though I have heard that reading this book has helped some people get through to their parents.

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02-01-2012 05:55 AM
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RammsteinFearFactory Offline
Celery Addict's metalhead friend

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Post: #7
RE: The parents will not listen

We understand and accept you here. Don't worry. Hug
02-01-2012 07:47 AM
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The Offline
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Post: #8
RE: The parents will not listen

Your thread was like a deja-vu

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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
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(This post was last modified: 02-01-2012 07:50 AM by The.)
02-01-2012 07:49 AM
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Ami Offline
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Post: #9
RE: The parents will not listen

You asked if its possible to get a talk with your parents. Well, it is, even if they're boneheads. They may not listen, but if you recognize their fears and preconceptions and the stuff they fear from but don't dare to tell you upfront ("I want her to be what my parents wanted me to be" "I can't have her fail like I did" and even "I don't want to admit my schooling was horrid so she'll have to suffer as well")...it's possible to confront those fears and explain to them, empathically, why they're wrong.
02-01-2012 09:39 PM
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