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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
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Yo, why do I have a warning level?
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zagix
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Joined: May 2010
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Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
No idea
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| 01-17-2012 05:49 AM |
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SaintVicious
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Given 85 thank(s) in 60 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
well then stop you raging faggot
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| 01-17-2012 05:50 AM |
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zagix
Banned
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2010
Thanks: 49
Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
Except I'm still pissed but I don't know why which pisses me off even more cause before you solve a problem you have to find that problem and I don't know what that problem is
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| 01-17-2012 06:02 AM |
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SaintVicious
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
I think its because you don't eat meat and you are developing vaginas in your brain
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| 01-17-2012 06:03 AM |
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zagix
Banned
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Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
Meat tastes like shit. That's why I don't eat it. After my parents making me vegetarian for my life, I decided "FUCK THEM" I'm gonna try meat
Then I tried it and it tasted like shit so I said "whatever, I'm not gonna eat meat"
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| 01-17-2012 06:10 AM |
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aCol
Distiller of hate
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
What meat have you tried? I dislike a lot of food, but it's art finding out what really tastes epic and what's shit for you.
RIP GORE GOROTH
RIP GORE GOROTH
RIP GORE GOROTH
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| 01-17-2012 06:17 AM |
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Lil'Orange
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
(01-17-2012 05:38 AM)zagix Wrote: Yeah like what problems do I have?
I don't have any problems. I just want to punch everyone I see/ sit in a corner and do nothing
No problems a psychologist can solve
Ok, I wanted to study psychology so I'll try here a little psyhoanalisis  You want to puch everyone and do nothing? I can see you have a lot of suppressed anger. What/who are you angry at? Can you think of any situations from your childhood that made you angry? That made you want to punch someone? If yes, which?
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| 01-17-2012 06:47 AM |
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zagix
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Thanks: 49
Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
Ha, I'm planning on studying neuroscience.
Suppressed anger? I have no target besides society that prevents me from smoking weed that gets rid of my anger.
Situations from childhood? No. Why I'm angry? No idea.
But it's more a constant feeling of undirected irritation that I can't really explain. Just imagine being pissed a lot of the time with no target. That's it.
Situations that made me want to punch someone? Usually when someone fucks me over or acts like a hypocrite I get pissed, but my episodes of constant irritation usually come when I have any energy at all.
My episodes of being in a hole come when I have no energy.
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| 01-17-2012 07:22 AM |
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Lil'Orange
Revolutionary
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
I think maybe you are not fully aware of your emotions and motivations. Don't just say "No idea." Digg deeper. Cause it sounds to me like you already gave up. Like you're satisfied with the position you are in now and like you don't want to get out of it. Although that what you're saying I can kind of relate. But I don't have a feeling of constant irritation rather a constant feeling of dissapointment. Like I have a picture in my head how is my life supposed to be, but I can't achieve it cause my enviroment sucks and people around me are so different from me so I have noone to achieve it with. That's why I'm planning to move to another country. Maybe it's the same problem with you?
(This post was last modified: 01-17-2012 07:47 AM by Lil'Orange.)
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| 01-17-2012 07:37 AM |
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zagix
Banned
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Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
I see my future in which the only enjoyable part is drugs, though not being around parents and having more freedom would be nice.
But I see no way of getting more freedom or drugs right now.
So basically, I'm fucked. I'm just gonna suffer for 2-6 years and deal with it and try to avoid the imuplsivity of suicide
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| 01-17-2012 09:51 AM |
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The
The; Captain Obvious
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
What drugs have you used?(the ones you have a "craving" for)
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| 01-17-2012 10:26 AM |
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zagix
Banned
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2010
Thanks: 49
Given 32 thank(s) in 25 post(s)
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
weed, molly, LSD, oxy, alcohol
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| 01-17-2012 10:40 AM |
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The
The; Captain Obvious
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
Interesting. I don't think its an addiction to these drugs in particular, just an addiction to getting high. Do you think that's the problem?
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| 01-17-2012 10:47 AM |
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Efs
Fanatic
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?
You have a shit life niggah.
Go meet people.
(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote: Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
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| 01-17-2012 12:39 PM |
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Yo, why do I have a warning level?
