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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

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Yo, why do I have a warning level?
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Aya Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

(01-16-2012 07:38 AM)Absentinsomniac Wrote:  Mfw people fail at killing themselves. I don't mean to be insensitive, but if you can't figure out how to kill yourself it is probably because you are being half-assed and don't really want to die.

Most of the time people who try and fail at killing themselves are subconsciously trying to get help fir their problems
01-16-2012 09:02 AM
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The Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

zagix: No, no, no! Wrong, wrong wrong! You need a shorter rope or you're just gonna stand on the floor when you step off the chair!
Suicidal: Oh, so what about this rope?
zagix: Better. Try now
Suicidal: *successfully hangs themself*
zagix: THERE you go. Good job, my friend.

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01-16-2012 09:51 AM
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SaintVicious Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

if you fail at killing yourself you should just concentrate at breathing cause clearly that's all your good for
01-16-2012 09:53 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Quote:If people have made the decision to commit suicide, AKA making a thread about it, then I'll assume that they actually want to do it and I can't change their mind
You assume this far too quickly. For most people that isn't even true, most people do want to live but just can't imagine life getting better.

Suicide is only valid in cases where their life actually really genuinely really actually WILL NOT get better. Which is 1) almost impossible to know for sure, and 2) if it is possible to know, this will apply to very very very VERY few actual people.

So, if you're going to try to help people commit suicide, you most certainly are NOT going to do it on SS. Not even in PM.

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01-16-2012 06:05 PM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

See, when I help others commit suicide, it makes me feel better about the fact that I can't.

And if I'm suicidal myself I can damn well help other people who're suicidal.

And finally, LIFE FUCKING SUCKS. IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS MORE PLEASURE THAN PAIN.

I'm saving these whiny teenagers from a life of more shit, which I consider good.
01-17-2012 12:48 AM
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Efs Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

(01-17-2012 12:48 AM)zagix Wrote:  See, when I help others commit suicide, it makes me feel better about the fact that I can't.

And if I'm suicidal myself I can damn well help other people who're suicidal.

And finally, LIFE FUCKING SUCKS. IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS MORE PLEASURE THAN PAIN.

I'm saving these whiny teenagers from a life of more shit, which I consider good.
Then why don't you commit suicide, what is holding you back?
And what is forcing your urge to commit suicide? Note down the things in life that make your life a living hell. And then the next step will be to solve those problems.
Suicide is for people who have hit rock bottom and have no way of getting a single enjoyment out of life, which is rare. Nearly everyone has a way of getting back up, but most people can't take it.

(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
01-17-2012 12:51 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

See, what's holding me back is the lack of available materials and the lack of the ability for me to be alone in this house for even 20 FUCKING MINUTES thus I cannot kill myself.

And what's making life living hell? My brain. It's unfortunately designed itself to make life almost always fucking suck, no matter what.

And you know what? Suicide isn't just for rock bottom. It's for anything below average happiness. So imagine if there was a line that was at no emotion, and if it swings towards negative too often, then suicide is good.

Because that's almost always what it's like.

One thing that keeps me alive is the potential future of doing drugs, that's pretty much it.

Now for Soul's comment, once again,

If a person says they are going to commit suicide, I respect their decision and I do NOT try to change their mind. If they say they want to kill themselves, I'll help them not turn themselves into a vegetable. As far as I'm concerned, most humans would be happier dead anyway.
01-17-2012 12:57 AM
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Efs Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Live your life as a badass fucking everyone in the ass.
If you hate it that much then live it without the fear of consequences.

(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
01-17-2012 01:10 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #39
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Unfortunately society has checks and balances, life would suck even more in a hospital/prison w/out future access to drugs.

Here's my dream: Go to college, become a neuroscientist, get a lot of money, spend said money on various drugs.

In California.
01-17-2012 01:25 AM
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Efs Offline
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

(01-17-2012 01:25 AM)zagix Wrote:  Unfortunately society has checks and balances, life would suck even more in a hospital/prison w/out future access to drugs.

Here's my dream: Go to college, become a neuroscientist, get a lot of money, spend said money on various drugs.

In California.
Do you have friends?

(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
01-17-2012 01:28 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #41
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

No
01-17-2012 01:41 AM
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Efs Offline
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Post: #42
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

(01-17-2012 01:41 AM)zagix Wrote:  No
Why not? Is there something about you that people don't like? Or something about people that you don't like?
Even though your family may be annoying in your eyes, do you have any sort of love for them, at all?

(01-10-2012 02:15 PM)Maelstrom Wrote:  Efs, your nihilism is beautiful.
01-17-2012 01:49 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #43
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Not much love for family, I mean they're nice and shit, I just don't like being around them

I don't like most people, usually once I get past the internet being around people starts pissing me off because the people piss me off
01-17-2012 02:58 AM
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The Offline
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Post: #44
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

2/3 of people who survived jumping off a bridge realized their problems were solvable on the way down.

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01-17-2012 03:43 AM
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zagix Offline
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Lol my problems are solvable, unfortunately the world doesn't want me to solve it with drugs even though I KNOW low dose weed is the solution.

I don't even smoke more than a certain amount because I feel worse when I'm really baked, I feel better with just a small toke or two but the world doesn't want me to have that.

It's really damn frustrating. And I'm gonna do LSD one more time before I'm gonna get the anti-depressent that the doctor will probably end up prescribing to me after I start the 14 week free substance abuse with clinician program that I will have to go to.

Wait what this is the suicide thread

Anyway, if they wanna kill themselves, I'll help them so they won't fuck up. Because I don't want to see bitchy teenagers become vegetables and suck up even more of the world's resources.

It's like bluelight and HARM REDUCTION, successful suicide is better than being a vegetable.
01-17-2012 03:58 AM
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The Offline
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Post: #46
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Don't take the anti-depressant. I'm sure itll turn you into a mindless zombie. What state do you live in? If you tell the doctors you feel pain, you could get legal weed. Wait, do you live in the US?

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01-17-2012 04:18 AM
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Aya Offline
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Post: #47
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

My stepfather is taking an anti depressant. It's actually helped him quite a bit.
01-17-2012 04:19 AM
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Desu Offline
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Post: #48
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

(01-17-2012 04:19 AM)Ayliana Wrote:  My stepfather is taking an anti depressant. It's actually helped him quite a bit.

They're going to prescribe him some sort of benzodiazepine probably, they legitimately do help some people, especially people with anxiety problems, but they are most definitely over-prescribed in this society due to the pharmaceuticals interest in making money, not your health. I doubt zagix is someone that needs this. The way his school and the way other people are treating him is what's making him depressed IMO, but I could be wrong.

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01-17-2012 04:27 AM
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zagix Offline
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Lol I'm 14 and I'm getting treated for "cannabis abuse" with possible depression. I'm going to substance abuse counseling in order to get people to determine what problem I have that drives me to smoke weed so badly and often and without worrying about the consequences.

I don't toke much, just a bit is enough to make me feel quite a bit better than usual, too much and I start feeling like shit all over again.

That's why I like the high from edibles a lot more than from other stuff, it feels good all the time instead of too fucked up then not fucked up enough.

The: Anti-depressents turn you into a mindless zombie if you AREN'T depressed, if you ARE depressed they help quite a bit
01-17-2012 04:28 AM
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bulgvar Offline
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Post: #50
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

zagix, won't read the two page crap, but why the fuck are you wanting to commit suicide?
01-17-2012 04:39 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #51
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

two page crap?

Let's see why I wanna kill myself:
Life sucks
The only thing that makes it stop sucking is drugs
I cannot do drugs for 6 years most likely
I lack the will to deal with these 6 long years
It doesn't matter what I'm doing, even if I'm doing the shit I used to enjoy the most from a while back, no matter WHAT THE FUCK I'm doing, it sucks.

I either feel like I'm in a pit that nothing can get me out of or I feel irritated for no reason and like punching and killing everyone and no matter what I do it doesn't go away.

And to top it off, there is usually one 5 minute window during the day where I actually feel like I used to a while ago, but that recently hasn't been showing up.

Now why the fuck wouldn't I kill myself? The only thing that really gives me hope is anti-depressents or the future possiblility of better things: IE weed and therepeutic weed/acid/shrooms/MDMA/other drugs

That make you feel normal again (weed) or better than normal (other drugs)
01-17-2012 04:46 AM
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bulgvar Offline
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Your brain is missing the drugs. Check up for methadone
01-17-2012 04:51 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #53
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Methadone? Are you retarded bulgvar? That's for OPIATE addicts. And the only opiate I've ever done is oxy once, and I don't feel physical cravings for it.

Now weed, I have a mental craving for it because it fixed by constant "feeling like shit" and now I can't smoke it anymore and it pisses me off
01-17-2012 04:53 AM
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bulgvar Offline
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Post: #54
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

IDK what have you been taking... I mean:
-WEED (laced with shits?)
-OXY
-MDMA
-tonnes of bullshits

So you're addicted to weed... you need it to feel good again. That automatically proves I was right.
=> You really need to get rid of this shit in your life
01-17-2012 04:56 AM
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Lil'Orange Offline
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Post: #55
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

I think you should see a therapist.
01-17-2012 04:59 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #56
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

I am, I'm seeing a drug abuse person and the I'm seeing my counselors and I'm seeing a drug abuse counselor and they all just listen and the conclusion of all of them is that I need anti-depressent meds
01-17-2012 05:03 AM
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zagix Offline
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RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

*gonna* see another drug counselor
01-17-2012 05:03 AM
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Lil'Orange Offline
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Post: #58
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

You should see a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Or tell them you don't want to take drugs. That's what I told my psychologist, so we just had conversations. But keep in mind that the psychologist sessions are not gonna solve your problem by themselves, you have to try hard too. Be optimistic, actively participate and search for ways to fix your problems. Strongly decide you are not going to whine and feel sorry for yourself and that you are going to do everything it takes to help yourself. Cause you're worth it Smile
01-17-2012 05:25 AM
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zagix Offline
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Post: #59
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

Yeah like what problems do I have?

I don't have any problems. I just want to punch everyone I see/ sit in a corner and do nothing

No problems a psychologist can solve
01-17-2012 05:38 AM
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SaintVicious Offline
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Post: #60
RE: Yo, why do I have a warning level?

why are you so rump ravaged? besides the drugs thing.
01-17-2012 05:39 AM
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