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August 2001 - June 2017
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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.
I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.
I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.
I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.
I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.
Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.
Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.
-SoulRiser
The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.
Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.
Derchin Wrote:Kind of agree with you, but this person could get some help. Its stupidity to just sit there and be tormented without getting some help to change that situation.
Look at what help is nowadays.
Shrinks who give no rats ass about you and people who will mock and jeer you because they figure you want attention and even people who look at you all differently once they find out whether it be through fear or disgust. Some people aren't as pathetic as to suicide over attention.
Lets not forget about the good old drugs they put you on too.
I guess you're seeing the wrong shrinks. The one my sister went was friendly and welcoming for all of us.
AWOL Wrote:Kinda sucks when you realize it's their job and they're just like you on the inside.
This right here sums it up derchin.
The psych stuff doesn't work by itself and only by giving into delusion and trying to block the thoughts that bother you can you try to live but you only block it with idealistic bullcrap and the nagging feeling chips away at you from the inside if you can't block it well enough.
AWOL Wrote:Kinda sucks when you realize it's their job and they're just like you on the inside.
This right here sums it up derchin.
The psych stuff doesn't work by itself and only by giving into delusion and trying to block the thoughts that bother you can you try to live but you only block it with idealistic bullcrap and the nagging feeling chips away at you from the inside if you can't block it well enough.
So should mope around, feeling sorry for ourselves?
AWOL Wrote:Kinda sucks when you realize it's their job and they're just like you on the inside.
This right here sums it up derchin.
The psych stuff doesn't work by itself and only by giving into delusion and trying to block the thoughts that bother you can you try to live but you only block it with idealistic bullcrap and the nagging feeling chips away at you from the inside if you can't block it well enough.
So should mope around, feeling sorry for ourselves?
Uhh no.
You deal with your problems.
My point is most people are happy when they find something to sink themselves into to distract themselves from the harsh effects of life whether its some belief, goal or even interest.
Yes there are people who use suicide for attention but there are some who don't give a damn about some stupid idealism and maybe can't find anything worthwhile in life.
Derchin Wrote:So people kill themselves when their basic needs (Love, protection, shelter, self-esteem, ect ) aren't met or met properly?
People kill themselves for a number of reasons.
Sometimes they are young and get forced expectations on them that they believe they must accomplish and once they don't they figure that life isn't worth it.
Sometimes people may react to problems or take a long hard look at their lives and figure that it brings no meaning to them, Some people like to sleep and figure that the happiest moments of their lives.
Most times the blue print plan doesn't fit people and not everybody wants to be strong and try to curve their own way so they take the easier road.
AWOL Wrote:Essentials in life are food, water and shelter.
The rest is optional.
Maybe we should only be concerned on these needs, then.
Yeah shame people can't be simple nowadays.
These.
Hidden stuff:
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS TRIGGER WARNING CONTAINS TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Dear Tumblrites:Despite your wrongly self-diagnosedPTSD, no line ofscientific evidencesuggests people can be triggered over theinternet. Triggering works through thesenses(i.e. smell, taste, touch, vision, hearing.) but it goes throughreal time; if you're not experiencing it in real life as it'sACTUALLY HAPPENINGin yourACTUALlife, youCANNOTbe triggered. The only exception to this is if you have aseizure, but then again, that's triggered byepilepsy(i.e. rapidly-changing flashing lights)NOT PTSD. Remembering a bad incident is NOT the same thing as having aflashback. When you remember, youthink; when youflashback,youfeel.
#HashTagsAreForIdiots
Max Stirnir Wrote:"In the time of spirits thoughts grew till they overtopped my head, whose offspring they yet were; they hovered about me and convulsed me like fever-phantasies -- an awful power. The thoughts had become corporeal on their own account, were ghosts, e. g. God, Emperor, Pope, Fatherland, etc. If I destroy their corporeity, then I take them back into mine, and say: "I alone am corporeal." And now I take the world as what it is to me, as mine, as my property; I refer all to myself."The Ego and Its Own, pg. 15
Charles Manson Wrote:“Look down at me and you see a fool;
look up at me and you see a god;
look straight at me and you see yourself”
HeartofShadows Wrote:"Life is nothing more than a druggie trying to get their quick fix of happiness while dealing with the harsh withdrawal of reality"
Osip Mandelstam Wrote:"I divide all of world literature into authorized and unauthorized works. The former are all trash; the latter--stolen air. I want to spit in the face of every writer who first obtains permission and then writes."The Fourth Prose, 1930.
Lukas Foss Wrote:That is why the analogy of stealing does not work. With a thief, we want to know how much money he stole, and from whom. With the artist it is not how much he took and from whom, but what he did with it.
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12-21-2010 12:19 AM
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fish20
Penguins are birds
Posts: 1,347
Joined: Nov 2009
I don't think it is a cowardly thing to do.
Some people genuinely feel that they have gotten all they can out of life and that there is nothing left for them. If someone can't find peace who are we to deny them a way out?
12-22-2010 11:22 AM
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Miller0700
Here to save you.
Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
Thought Criminal Wrote:I don't think it is a cowardly thing to do.
Some people genuinely feel that they have gotten all they can out of life and that there is nothing left for them. If someone can't find peace who are we to deny them a way out?
What? Like taking drugs that make you ricochet around the emotional scale? Continuing to live in immense depression and disinterest just 'cause some selfish asshole decided to guilt trip you? Go fuck yourself.
12-22-2010 11:54 AM
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Miller0700
Here to save you.
Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
AWOL Wrote:What? Like taking drugs that make you ricochet around the emotional scale? Continuing to live in immense depression and disinterest just 'cause some selfish asshole decided to guilt trip you? Go fuck yourself.
Wow. Giving some suggestions, and I'm told to go fuck myself. Wow, I must be incredible. People don't wanna hear the truth, oh well.......
___________
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. -- Socrates
Walk with those seeking the truth. run from those who claim to have found it ~Chopra
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one who inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.--Mark Twain
Previously known as Derchin.
12-22-2010 02:02 PM
Thanks given by:
Miller0700
Here to save you.
Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
AWOL Wrote:Kinda sucks when you realize it's their job and they're just like you on the inside.
This right here sums it up derchin.
The psych stuff doesn't work by itself and only by giving into delusion and trying to block the thoughts that bother you can you try to live but you only block it with idealistic bullcrap and the nagging feeling chips away at you from the inside if you can't block it well enough.
Uhh no.
You deal with your problems.
My point is most people are happy when they find something to sink themselves into to distract themselves from the harsh effects of life whether its some belief, goal or even interest.
Yes there are people who use suicide for attention but there are some who don't give a damn about some stupid idealism and maybe can't find anything worthwhile in life.[/quote]
How can someone deal with their problems without "conforming to society's oppressive rules". So they deal with it and it gets worse, or they can try to get help (vent their problems) and are happy and willing to accept society's rules. Take your pick.
It's obviously not a place you have been... I've been through alot of emotional trauma, and seriously considered suicide at one point in my life. I found another way out but for some people the simply is no other way out. They have tried everything they can to bring peace and happiness into their lives but cannot do it. They long for that time when they may sleep. They are not mentally disturbed, there is nothing wrong with them. There is simply nothing life can offer but suffering. I leave you again, Who are we to deny a person that right?
Derchin Wrote:My point is most people are happy when they find something to sink themselves into to distract themselves from the harsh effects of life whether its some belief, goal or even interest.
Yes there are people who use suicide for attention but there are some who don't give a damn about some stupid idealism and maybe can't find anything worthwhile in life.
How can someone deal with their problems without "conforming to society's oppressive rules". So they deal with it and it gets worse, or they can try to get help (vent their problems) and are happy and willing to accept society's rules. Take your pick.[/quote]
Most people tend not to have nothing left to live for, and most people haven't gone through the process of depression. Y'know, emotional overload. Emotional shock. Brain assuming this means really, seriously fucking sad.
I, personally, have trust issues. I can tell people here anything 'cause there are next to no consequences. People in real life? They all get some form of a façade, I just can't trust them with any major information. Getting help is kind of impossible, and I have more fun when people don't know enough about me to make a dent in my armor. I can deal with my problems all well and fine, and honestly, if you are bad enough that you just have to bitch to a therapist, it's probably not going to change the outcome. Therapists suck.
12-22-2010 11:31 PM
Thanks given by:
Miller0700
Here to save you.
Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
Derchin Wrote:My point is most people are happy when they find something to sink themselves into to distract themselves from the harsh effects of life whether its some belief, goal or even interest.
Yes there are people who use suicide for attention but there are some who don't give a damn about some stupid idealism and maybe can't find anything worthwhile in life.
How can someone deal with their problems without "conforming to society's oppressive rules". So they deal with it and it gets worse, or they can try to get help (vent their problems) and are happy and willing to accept society's rules. Take your pick.
Most people tend not to have nothing left to live for, and most people haven't gone through the process of depression. Y'know, emotional overload. Emotional shock. Brain assuming this means really, seriously fucking sad.
I, personally, have trust issues. I can tell people here anything 'cause there are next to no consequences. People in real life? They all get some form of a façade, I just can't trust them with any major information. Getting help is kind of impossible, and I have more fun when people don't know enough about me to make a dent in my armor. I can deal with my problems all well and fine, and honestly, if you are bad enough that you just have to bitch to a therapist, it's probably not going to change the outcome. Therapists suck.[/quote]
Not everyone finds help that way.
Previously known as Derchin.
(This post was last modified: 08-17-2012 02:25 PM by Miller0700.)
Practically no one gets help through therapeutic means. It's just going to send you into shock once you realize that the person you were paying to like you isn't like everyone else out there (Y'know... Not paid to like you) so they just go into emotional shock again. And then back to therapy. And out again. Emotional shock. Therapy. Out. So on and so forth.
If you want some form of real help, get a hobby and socialize. It's kinda what humans were made to do.
Just in 'simpler' times, 'hobbies' consisted of hunting and gathering.
12-23-2010 12:03 AM
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Miller0700
Here to save you.
Posts: 3,405
Joined: Oct 2010
AWOL Wrote:Practically no one gets help through therapeutic means. It's just going to send you into shock once you realize that the person you were paying to like you isn't like everyone else out there (Y'know... Not paid to like you) so they just go into emotional shock again. And then back to therapy. And out again. Emotional shock. Therapy. Out. So on and so forth.
If you want some form of real help, get a hobby and socialize. It's kinda what humans were made to do.
Just in 'simpler' times, 'hobbies' consisted of hunting and gathering.
I think my biggest problem with people not allowing suicide (The thought itself amuses me) is that it's not their decision to make. You have absolutely ZERO right telling someone they can't end their life if they so choose. Why would you even want to disallow that? It makes no sense to me. I understand the whole "ALL LIFE IS SACRED" bullshit. But it fucking isn't. We are just an evolutionary screw up.
Really depends on how you look at it. We're like a virus. Awesome in terms of evolution, at least initially. But eventually we kill off our resources and die off.
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