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School Survival Forums / The Lounge / Original Artwork/Writing v / READ THIS ::poem::

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READ THIS ::poem::
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modest mouse Offline
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Post: #1
READ THIS ::poem::

idk why i wrote this... i guess i got kind of depressed thinking about what i had and what happened to it...

well here it is



It’s hard to block out thoughts of you,
You always fill my head.
I sit here, waiting,
Waiting for my angel.
I hope you come,
And see me soon.
Won’t you come by me?
Wont you hear my plead?
It’s going to be a while,
Sitting,
Waiting,
Because I know that she’s lost.
I’m broken,
Useless,
Unneeded.
Throw me away.
Just to find my final resting place,
Pick me up,
Spread your wings upon me,
Take me away.
I would rather walk alone,
Than chase you around,
My soul was solid,
But now its mesh,
Tattered and torn,
Abused and beaten.
As I walk,
The colors becoming bland and blurry,
My mind begins to break,
My soul begins to crack.
The dust,
Settling upon my soul,
Only brings a numbing sensation,
That makes me happy,
Just to know I cant feel anymore pain.
The words pass through my head,
Like notes on paper.
The blood runs down my face,
Like cuts on a wrist.
Im tired of fighting,
Im tired of trying,
Trying to stop the pain,
The burning of my pride,
The stinging in my veins.
The nervous shaking in my hands.
Make it stop.
Please,
Make it go away.
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-16-2006 01:22 PM
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modest mouse Offline
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Post: #2
 

well shit people...leave a comment
is it good or not
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-17-2006 05:34 AM
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ANAL_FROST!!! Offline
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Post: #3
 

yea thats really good.
"...if analfrost says killpress is a fag, it must be true. anal never lies. except that time he said he never ate cat shit...that liar"
-Niles Hartley

(quote edited so ppl would know who he was talking about)
05-17-2006 05:49 AM
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Happy Camper Offline
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Post: #4
Re: READ THIS ::poem::

I think it's good. Better than a great deal of my poems, I know. I'm not sure what it is exactly...it has a more natural flow to it than most of my work it seems. Only thing that stood out to me is this section:

modest mouse Wrote:The blood runs down my face,
Like cuts on a wrist.

It seems like a backwards simile to draw, you know? Oh wait, now that I reread that I realize I read it wrong at first. I read "The tears run down my face, like cuts on a wrist." Um...hmm. My bad. Now that I read it, it's just an interesting choice of words. Not to say it's bad or anything. It just strikes me as intriguing sort of.

Meh...ignore me.
05-17-2006 01:28 PM
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modest mouse Offline
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Post: #5
 

thanx ive been writing for a couple of years now
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees through narrow chinks of his cavern."
05-18-2006 05:06 AM
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MorikoMisa Offline
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Re: READ THIS ::poem::

That was beautiful.
*SPARKLING* *DOUCHEBUCKETS.*
11-30-2009 07:14 AM
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Pieman Offline
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Post: #7
Re: READ THIS ::poem::

MorikoElven Wrote:That was beautiful.

Spectacular Bump.
" I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. " ~From the television show The Wonder Years
11-30-2009 07:17 AM
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returnal Away
cold like minnesota (brrr!)

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Post: #8
Re: READ THIS ::poem::

Epic bumps aren't funny anymore, dumbasses.
woah dude
dude woah
11-30-2009 07:22 AM
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MorikoMisa Offline
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Post: #9
Re: READ THIS ::poem::

Pieman Wrote:
MorikoElven Wrote:That was beautiful.

Spectacular Bump.

Thanks, also sorry, so many people were, it was hard to resist.
*SPARKLING* *DOUCHEBUCKETS.*
12-01-2009 07:29 AM
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