50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

[fish20]

Quote:1. Life is not fair. Get used to it.

1. Common sense....

Quote:2. The real world won't care as much as your school does about your self-esteem. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

2. So...... the only way to feel good about yourself is to make lots of money and "benefit" the world accomplish something?

Quote:3. Sorry, you won't make sixty thousand dollars a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a company car. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a designer label

3. Yes it is possible to make that much money right out of high school, and technically you can be a president of your own company right away, unless you mean of the U.S., then obviously you can't, you have to be at least 35 you idiot.

Quote:4. You are not entitled...

4.Ever heard of the constitution?

Quote:5. No matter what your daddy says, you are not a princess...

5. What if your daddy's a king?

Quote:6. No, you cannot be everything you dream...

6. Obviously, you can't be EVERYTHING FUCKING IMAGINABLE.

Quote:7. If you think our teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He won't have tenre, so he'll tend to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you FEEL about it.

7.You mean the guy that gives you money?

Quote:8. Your navel is not that interesting. Don't spend your life gazing at it.

8.Why is this even........?

Quote:9. Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't.

9. Yeah because winners are the ones that make the most money, and the ones in poverty, even if they are happy, are losers.

Quote:10. Life is actually more like dodgeball than your gym teacher thinks.

10. Life is actually like a platypus or a lightbulb or (*insert word here*).

Quote:11. After you graduate, you won't be competing against rivals who were raised to be wimps on the playground.

11. How can I aquire your powers seer of everything?

Quote:12. Humiliation is a part of life. Deal with it.

12. (*Insert word here*) is a part of life, deal with it.

Quote:13. You're not going to the NBA, so hold off on the bling and spare us the attitude.

13. See 11.

Quote:14. Looking like a slut does not empower you.

14. Looking like (*insert word here*) does not empower you.

Quote:15. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.

15. What the hell, do you have multiple personalities?!

Quote:16. Your parents and your little brother are not as embarrassing as you think. What's embarrassing is ingratitude, rudeness, and sulkiness.

16. (*Insert word here*) is embarrassing.

Quote:17. Your parents weren't as boring before as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, driving you around, saving for your education, cleaning up your room, and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.

17. Your parents are boring BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!!!111111!!!1!1!!!!1111!!!!

Quote:18. Life is not divided into semesters. And you don't get summer off.

18. Yeah, but school is. Isn't school supposed to be my life?

Quote:19. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible.

19. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. Your parents are PERFECT, because they are adults.

Quote:20. Smoking does not make you look cool....It makes you look moronic.

20. FINALLY, something I agree with.

Quote:21. You're offended? So what? No, really. So what?

21. I'm allowed to say mean things to people. They are hurt. So what?!

Quote:22. You are not a victim. So stop whining.

22. Yeah, you just got raped, get over it.

Quote:23. Someday you will have to grow up and actually move out of your parents' house.

23. You don't technically have to, but why would you want to stay there?

Quote:24. Batman's girlfriend is right: "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you."

24. To everyone else that may be true, but who cares about their opinion?

Quote:25. Pi does not care what you think.

25. (*Insert word here*) does not care what you think.

Quote:26. A moral compass does not come as standard equipment.

26.(*Insert Magical Object here*) doesn't exist.

Quote:27. Your sexual organs were not meant to engage in higher-order thinking or decision making.

27. (*Insert body part here*) can't think for itself.

Quote:28. Somebody may be watching...

28. Thats only because the government are control freaks that don't even want you doing "bad" things that doesn't effect ANYONE else.

Quote:29. Learn to deal with hypocrisy.

29. See 12.

Quote:30. Zero tolerance = zero common sense.

30. Good answer.

Quote:31. Naked people look different in real life.

31. Only if the fake people are photoshopped.

Quote:32. Television is not real life.

32. (*Insert fiction here*) is fake.

Quote:33. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

33. I thought it didn't matter if people are offended?

Quote:34. Winners have a philosophy of life. So do losers.

34. Philosphy exists.

Quote:35. If your butt has its own zip code, it's not because McDonald's forced you to eat all those Big Macs. If you smoke, it's not Joe Camel's fault.

35. Technically, if big macs didn't exist, then you wouldn't eat them.

Quote:36. You are not immortal.

36. Did you run out of ideas?

Quote:37. Being connected does not mean you aren't clueless.

37. You aren't supposed to use double negatives idiot.

Quote:38. Look people in the eye when you meet them...

38. Do what I say because I said so.

Quote:39. People in black-and-white movies were in color in real life. And no, the world did not begin when you were born

39. Did you think (person who can read), was born yesterday?

Quote:40. Despite the billion-dollar campaign to turn your brain into tapioca pudding, try to learn to think clearly and logically.

40. Good answer.

Quote:41. You are not the first and you are not the only one who has gone through what you are going through.

41. I am the first person who has this name and body and personality and family and lives here, that is doing these things right now this way at this time.

Quote:42. Change the oil.

42. What does that even?. >.>

Quote:43. Don't let the successes of others depress you.

43. You are not allowed to be sad if you are a failure.

Quote:44. Your colleagues are not necessarily your friends, and your friends aren't your family.

44. A =/= B =/= C

Quote:45. Grown-ups forget how scary it is to be your age. Just remember: this too shall pass.

45. See 15.

Quote:46. Check on the guinea pig in the basement.

46. Ha. Ha. That. Was. So. Funny.

Quote:47. You are not perfect, and you don't have to be.

47. I'm sure everyone knows this already.

Quote:48. Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point.

48. You can have a goal in life. You don't HAVE to though. You can just not care and do whatever.

Quote:49. Don't forget to say thank you.

49. ThankFuck you.

Quote:50. Enjoy this while you can.

50. Enjoy you sorry fucking life.