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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications
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Prince Rilian Offline
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Post: #1
me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I'm taking six classes this semester and it's all barfy. I'm not interested in any of them and going to class takes up time and I need to fuckingn relax but there's no time. I have to spend like all my time all fucking day either in class or doing homework so that I will pass these stupid shitty classes. And then I still have summer school to do.

College is so fucked up. It's so much worse than high school. Somehow, when I was in high school, I had school for 7 hours a day but I still had hours and hours of free time every day and I still got most of my homework done. But somehow fucking in college you go to class only for 18 hours a week instead of 35, but you seem to have less time. I have always felt like that, since I first started college. Where does all the fucking time go? And anyway there's not a god damned thing to do. I don't know anyone here, it's not like I can just go play like I did when I was a kid. There's a playground but it's fucking shitty. When I was a teenager, I would walk around with my best friend, go to her house or walk to the park with her. If I had a friend it would be less boring, but I don't and anyway, I probably woudn't have any fucking time anyway. And I have to get a job and I just don't fucking know how I'm going to fit everything in.

But the main thing that makes me really fucking depressed is that I have to spend all this time being bored out of my fucking mind. I have to spend hours and hours and hours working on shit I don't care about and will never have anything to do with after this semester is over. I'm not going to get a job that has anything to do with this math. Even if I were to be a math tutor, it would be for different math, it would be for the shit people do in high school or something, it wouldn't be this fucking multivariable calculus finite geometry set shit. And though I might tutor people in spanish, or use spanish on some other job, talking to a fucking customer or something, I'm not ever going to fucking have to watch some god damned video about spain's economy and then summarize it or read some shit about the mayan calender and then talk about how it's relevant to modern life EVER AGAIN. And that does make me a tiny bit happy, but in the meantime I'm fucking pissed off that I have to be so bored, I haven't enjoyed anything since I was 19, my actual interests have to wait, my brain is being turned to mush, and at the end of it, what am I going to get? I don't believe that having a degree will help me get a job. The easiest route is probably being a teacher but god fuck that because it's fucking immoral and also on top of that it requires going to more classes and taking more tests. I just can't fucking do that. I'm not going to be qualified for anything with just my bachelor's degree. All the bachelor's degree is good for is as a pre-requisite for some other shit, like graduate school or a teaching certificate. I won't even be able to get a fucking fast-food job because I'm not fast enough. Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to do it right rather than fast. But other people have fucking super powers and they are able to do it fast and right, and I will never be able to do it, I will never be able to keep any kind of job, there will always be an abundance of applicants who will be better at the job than me and they will also have more relevant experience, so I won't ever get hired anyway.

I kind of want my job to be being a private tutor. I'll apply at wal-mart and shit too, though that probably won't work out. Whatev's. I'm just gonna apply at all kinds of jobs in the area I want to live in, and then advertise myself as a tutor, and also I'm going to advertise tutoring while I'm still in college.

Life is good. Jeta është e mirë. Goingcrazy
Die lewe is goed.
Het leven is goed.

Zoidberg: What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?
Leela: I guess I would have to say, I hate you!
02-02-2011 09:59 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #2
Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

If you didn't say you wanted to be a tutor, I'd have asked why in the hell you're taking those kinds of classes at all...

Is there no way you can do all the same stuff online and get it done quicker?

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02-02-2011 10:21 AM
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Prince Rilian Offline
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Post: #3
Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I'm in college to make another person happy. And I'm relatively close to being done. Unless I fail something, I'll be done in august. And I guess I think it might slightly help me get a job. But if it weren't for my boyfriend's insistence, I would have quit already. Maybe I would have gone back someday, but I had such a sheltered experience as a kid that I have no idea what kinds of jobs even exist so I have no idea what I would like to do. I'm just, like, walking forward in the dark.

I started college because my mom yelled me into submission. I kept going because it was sometimes fun and then because I didn't know what else to do and then because I was afraid. Then when I had reached the point that I was ready to quit college and explore other options, I was in a serious relationship and maybe it's not right but he wants me to finish college... he has a ph.d.... He thinks it will help job-wise and he doesn't want us to be poor. I highly doubt his assertions, but I'm still doing it for him.

Life is good. Jeta është e mirë. Goingcrazy
Die lewe is goed.
Het leven is goed.

Zoidberg: What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?
Leela: I guess I would have to say, I hate you!
02-02-2011 02:21 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I guess that makes sense.

I was totally clueless about possible jobs and stuff as well until I started browsing around online job posting sites. There's some pretty interesting stuff out there. I looked on gumtree.com 'cause I was thinking of getting a job in England somewhere, but I suppose just about any job site will do.

I was actually surprised by how many of them don't require college, and how most of the ones that DO, also require you to have several years of 'experience' doing that job... which I would imagine would be a bit hard to get if all the damn jobs require it. Razz

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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02-02-2011 02:50 PM
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Prince Rilian Offline
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Post: #5
Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I think that experience is supposed to come from internships initially.

Life is good. Jeta është e mirë. Goingcrazy
Die lewe is goed.
Het leven is goed.

Zoidberg: What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?
Leela: I guess I would have to say, I hate you!
02-02-2011 04:36 PM
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AngryCollegeDude Offline
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Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I'm in the same boat (sort of). Though I am taking the requirements for a general business/accounting degree, I don't even know if that's what I want to do. I mean, I'm good at math and think it would be cool to work in some skyscraper downtown, but it's not like I put much thought into it. I probably wouldn't have even gone to college if my parents hadn't (a) drilled it into me that it was the only way to success (b) basically forced me to go and most importantly © paid for it.

What's frustrating is I'm getting mixed messages about whether or not college is worth it. Mom and dad say it's good, job applications imply that college graduates have a better chance, but I'm reading other sources online that say it's a waste of money and that college degrees won't guarentee you a job. From what I can tell, you need college to get high paying jobs, but also need actual experience, which I don't have.

And like you, that is where most of my frustration has come from. I'm taking courses in things that I will either never use again, or are so poorly taught that I don't learn anything other than boredom and monotony. I mean come on! How much can I learn from boring ass textbooks and listening to some guy blabber for 2 hours about computer systems. HELLO!! IF I'M GOING TO LEARN ABOUT COMPUTER SYSTEMS, I NEED SOME HANDS ON EXPERIENCE. It's like learning to drive out of a textbook (which yes, I've done in a drivers ed course, though at least there was some hands on experience too). I think it's because my college is too fucking old fashion to consider that Hey! We're in the 21st century and need actual computers to learn how to do stuff on computers! But noooooooooooo we gotta do stuff the old fashion way because we’re traditionalists!!!!

And then there's the general education requirements which I'm luckly finished with, but were so discouraging at the time. Any motivation or zeal I had to learn shit was slowly being destroyed by having to take courses in things I could care less about. Literature is great if you’re interested in it, but when you’re not, it’s just another hoop to jump through, and another thing I have to force myself to give a shit about (which is impossible). There are times when I didn’t even care if I complete something or just didn’t even turn in an assignment. I would bang my head against the wall, wanting to be independent with my own job, but being stuck memorizing textbooks that somehow took priority over actually getting money and experience.

Okay, I’m rambling and to be honest, most of my frustrations with college are in the past (I just have that one boring accounting class I have to take every week, the rest is actually pretty interesting and useful). My one word of advice is to not take that many courses. 6 is a lot, 3 or 4 is manageable and you’ll still have some free time. It’s no wonder you’re feeling stressed out, especially with trying to get a job and all that. You may want to get the degree as soon as possible, but there’s really no rush. And it would be more beneficial to take what you can handle instead of rushing through it.
02-03-2011 03:05 AM
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Prince Rilian Offline
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Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I have a sort of time-limit. If I don't finish by august, I'll have to apply and transfer to another school and gaaaaaaah I don't want to do that. I was supposed to be done in may but I had to transfer because the school I had been going to was too expensive and I had a severe lack of money. So when I transfered, well, some of the classes that counted at the first school don't count here, so that meant that I had to add one semester and graduate 3 months later than originally. And I just can't fucking stand to extend it again. Of course, graduating in august will mean pulling 6000$ out of my butt. But it's possible that my boyfriend will be able pay for part of it.

I'm 24 and still don't have a bachelor's degree. I hate that boyfriend got his BS at age 21, he's always nagging me about how I should have graduated three years ago, though actually it would have been 2 years ago, not 3, because the normal age to finish college is 22, not 21, he actually finished earlier than most. But the only fucking reason I'm doing it is because he wants me to. It's like if he said he wanted me to, say, have long hair. Now, it's true that if I had never cut my hair, it would be really long. But, prior to him making that request, I would have had no reason to leave my hair long, but I did have my own reasons to cut it. I feel like that's how he's acting about the college thing. The reason I didn't finish college when I was 22 was because I had mixed feelings about school and careers and I changed my major a lot, and failed about 18 classes (5 my first semester, 3 the second, 1 the fifth, 1 the sixth, 4 the seventh, 4 the eighth). I obviously did pass a lot of classes too. But the reason I failed so many classes my first year and my fourth year was because I was really depressed. I just don't think it's fair for someone to tell me that I should have lived up to society's expectations while I was so depressed that I kept thinking killing myself was the only way out. I think the fact that I managed to hold myself together at all is amazing. For someone to shit all over my accomplishment by saying, "But you failed all your classes," is just disgusting. My boyfriend says he's trying to "motivate" me to make sure that I actually do finish this year. I don't like that kind of motivation. It reminds me of that tiger mom bitch calling her daughter "trash" and "worthless" as a way of motivating her. I tell my boyfriend, you don't need to motivate me, I'm already motivated. Before, I didn't have a clear purpose. Now, I do. I don't have a career in mind or anything, but I'm doing this for him. That's purpose enough to keep me struggling through it. I come on here and complain about it, but I'm not going to quit, not this time. Yeah, the reason I failed a lot of classes in the past was because halfway through the semester I would decide "fuck this" and quit going to class, because the classes were boring and awful. It seems to me that that's a totally reasonable course of action, when you don't even have any reason to finish the class. Like, if you go to a movie, and it sucks ass, there's no reason to stay for the whole thing.... unless you're a movie reviewer and it's your job to watch the whole thing and then write an article about it. But I didn't have a purpose like that, so I'd just quit going to classes when I got fed up with them. But my boyfriend argues that I should have realized there would be a purpose, that there would be a benefit, and I should have suffered through it. But it's like, yeah, I know people say there's going to be a benefit, but all I saw was an office job, and that terrified and disgusted me. So that was actually not motivation at all. I felt like getting a degree would narrow my choices, rather than widen them. Maybe that was wrong and stupid, but that was what I felt and that was why I did what I did. I felt like I was on a path that I didn't like, heading towards a goal I hated. But leaving the path terrified me too, because of all the brainwashing I'd had of you will be poor if you don't go to college. So I did the most reasonable thing given all of those facts... I stayed where I was. All directions scared me, so I stopped moving. I just stayed in college, trying one major then another, then another. I guess this makes my boyfriend seem like a shithead, but I think he's kind of asperger's-ish, and he just can't see my point of view. He's very pragmatic. He chose to major in math, and he stayed on that path and went straight through to a ph.d. He was miserable the whole time he was in school, but I guess he didn't see another option, I guess the brainwashing worked even better on him than it did on me.

I see a few job possibilities for me, but the problem is that they all require more school beyond the math degree I'm getting. Like, translator, gotta get liscenced; teacher, gotta get liscenced; programmer, gotta take more programming classes. I actually found an associate's degree in computer programming I could have done, but my boyfriend said I should get a bachelor's degree, not an associate's degree, because my options are more with a BS. I don't know.... I think he just thinks that it's too unrespectable to only have an associate's degree. And I see that, but that degree would have guaranteed me of a certain kind of job, and the advisor for the program said I would have no trouble finding work that paid well enough for my needs. But yeah, can't do that because it's only an associate's degree... I wish my boyfriend weren't so concerned about other people's opinions. The upshot of all of this is that I'm going to have to do more school at some point. Programming, or something. Blaaaaah! I wish I had just done the programming degree. But that's "limiting" and "not respectable". DERRGGG.

Life is good. Jeta është e mirë. Goingcrazy
Die lewe is goed.
Het leven is goed.

Zoidberg: What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?
Leela: I guess I would have to say, I hate you!
02-03-2011 04:30 AM
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AngryCollegeDude Offline
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Post: #8
Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

Prince Rilian Wrote:I have a sort of time-limit. If I don't finish by august, I'll have to apply and transfer to another school and gaaaaaaah I don't want to do that.

Wow that sucks.

Quote:I'm 24 and still don't have a bachelor's degree. I hate that boyfriend got his BS at age 21, he's always nagging me about how I should have graduated three years ago, though actually it would have been 2 years ago, not 3, because the normal age to finish college is 22, not 21, he actually finished earlier than most.

I'm 23 and have just now gotten my associates. Luckly I haven't had anyone preassure me or make me feel guilty about not going fast enough, but I do get that vide on other message boards I visit (not here. Honestly, people who compare themselves to you to bring you down PISS ME THE FUCK OFF.

Quote:But the only fucking reason I'm doing it is because he wants me to.


I have to ask, why does he care so much if you go to college or not. Can't he accept you for who you are college or not? I think if he cares about you, he'd understand how much of a struggle this is for you. While I understand wanting to get through college since you made it this far, I think it's for the wrong reasons.

Quote:I think the fact that I managed to hold myself together at all is amazing. For someone to shit all over my accomplishment by saying, "But you failed all your classes," is just disgusting. My boyfriend says he's trying to "motivate" me to make sure that I actually do finish this year. I don't like that kind of motivation. It reminds me of that tiger mom bitch calling her daughter "trash" and "worthless" as a way of motivating her.

Oh boy, this is my big berserk button, shitting on other people's accomplishments. Again, I haven't had to experience this with my parents much (in fact, they're the ones who congratulate me for making it so far). However, since I spend most of my time online, I've encountered similar stuff: people who flaunt their straight A's around, the fact that they moved out of their parents house when they were 18, and how much they overacheive. It makes me sick. People who put you down like that (no matter what their intention is) are toxic.

Again, you go at your own pace and try not to let other people one up you. Be proud of your own accomplishments and try not to let your screw ups bring you down. No one is perfect, no matter how much they'd have you believe. And even if they were, that's them. It sounds like those over acheivers are never happy anyway and always have some underlying issue.

Quote:Yeah, the reason I failed a lot of classes in the past was because halfway through the semester I would decide "fuck this" and quit going to class, because the classes were boring and awful. It seems to me that that's a totally reasonable course of action, when you don't even have any reason to finish the class. Like, if you go to a movie, and it sucks ass, there's no reason to stay for the whole thing....

I'm glad I'm not the only one who developed that philosophy. It actually makes sense. If you're not getting anything out of going to class and it's sucks enough to be there, why go? I've skipped class many times when I realized that we were only doing lectures on stuff I could learn at home in the textbook. I've even managed to pass those classes despite walking out on several occasions (not the best grades, but good enough to pass).

A lot of people would see that as a poor reason to not do something, but again, who cares what they think? It's your life and they need to stop judging you just to make themselves feel important.

Quote:But leaving the path terrified me too, because of all the brainwashing I'd had of you will be poor if you don't go to college. So I did the most reasonable thing given all of those facts... I stayed where I was. All directions scared me, so I stopped moving. I just stayed in college, trying one major then another, then another.


Yeah same here. I realize that my personal strength is math so I'm leaning toward something in that, but hell if I know where it's going to take me.



Quote:I guess this makes my boyfriend seem like a shithead, but I think he's kind of asperger's-ish, and he just can't see my point of view. He's very pragmatic. He chose to major in math, and he stayed on that path and went straight through to a ph.d. He was miserable the whole time he was in school, but I guess he didn't see another option, I guess the brainwashing worked even better on him than it did on me.

Yes it does. It sounds like he's a major source of stress for you. Even if he is a good guy deep down, you should not feel obligated to put up with so much stress. And if he really cares about you, than he should take into account the stress and grief he's causing.
02-03-2011 06:42 AM
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Prince Rilian Offline
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Post: #9
Re: me ranting about college and sucky job qualifications

I really appreciate your replies. I like it when someone can understand and empathize with something I say, especially this issue that is so overwhelming in my life.

I also kind of want to finish college for myself. I have conflicting desires, but part of me wants to finish college, and finish it soon.

Life is good. Jeta është e mirë. Goingcrazy
Die lewe is goed.
Het leven is goed.

Zoidberg: What is it, already? What's the cause of your anger?
Leela: I guess I would have to say, I hate you!
02-03-2011 03:22 PM
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