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The School Survival Forums are permanently retired. If you need help with quitting school, unsupportive parents or anything else, there is a list of resources on the Help Page.

If you want to write about your experiences in school, you can write on our blog.

To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

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My Story
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tock172 Offline
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Post: #1
My Story

I am very happy to have found this place. Finally people who understand what I deal with.

Lets get too it, all through school, I was a good student. Followed what to do, did everything, straight As, all the way through, up to 8th grade. Hardly any trouble, all of that. I will admit, I was a bit strange. I was always mad about something. I had a group of friends, and that was always good, and everyone knew me for being extremely smart and all of that. When 5th grade, I kept this up. Until the last week of school. I kid I knew really got to me. I just couldn't take it anymore. I flipped a fucking bitch and beat the shit out of him. I went to the office and just said as I sat there, "I just.....don't care. He deserved it, I would do it again." Right then and there, I thought to myself, well, I don't know anymore.

Things went ok, I was in the stupid ceremony and I got out of there. The next year, I went to a different school than anyone else. It was brand new and promised the world. Things could not have gone worse. Long story short, I was still the smart guy, but now everyone looked at me as the crazy one too by the end of the year. I was expelled a week before school ended, I could not have cared less.

The next year, I went back to the school everyone else went to. Things went alright, I matured, saw things that happened and got some old and new friends back. My hair grew out, my clothes changed, I became comfortable with myself, I liked it. I had friends, I had good grades, it all worked, or it was starting to fall into place.

7th grade ended well. It was full of promise and I was feeling good. 8th grade was the last good year of school and my life all together. Things were grade. My grades were still good, my friends were plentiful, I even had numerous girlfriends at one point and throughout the year. As things neared to an end, I knew high school was looming in the future. I had the greatest of intentions, the greatest of hope, but I was scarred to death. I liked being on the top and feeling good. Everything was just perfect for me. The year ended and summer began. Summer went great. I was with my friends, and my family and I went on a few trips as the weeks went on. Then, it came apart. I lost a girlfriend, and fell out of contact with a few people, but did not realize it.

Finally, 9th grade started. In the beginning, things seemed alright, then, I saw what happened. I had a few different groups of friends in the past. Now, one of my best friends was gone, and all of the others except for 2 had gone into this little group of people, all of which I knew to some varying degree. At first I thought, ok, well I can handle this, it will work out fine.

A month later, I never wanted to go to school again. No one listened to me, my grades fell apart, I was more tired than ever and soon lost my will to live, let alone go to school. I hated every minute of thigns. Everyone was so stupid but I had nowhere to go. I just wanted escape. Of course, I was stuck in the classes I had not done well in the past year. BUT OF COURSE THE FUCKED UP SCHOOL SYSTEM REFUSED TO LET ME GO ON, EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL KNEW MY CAPACITY WAS FAR BEYOND ANYONE ELSE!

I was stuck. As the weeks wore on, my grades slipped, I did bad, I lost friends, got into a fight, and began to ditch school, just go sleep at home, and be away from it all. For a while, this worked. I was just "ok" while this was happening. I could tolerate it. Then, in January 2007, things fell in. A guy who had been a good friend of mine the past year and had even been alright in the beginning of this year, stole my hat. This may seem small, bu this was only the beginning. Soon, he spread to all sectors of my life. It was torment. the school did nothing, because they didnt care, I tried everything but was stuck. Finally, after he had fucked up everyting, stolen friends, told lies about me, made me look bad, stolen my things, and prevented me from being with the girl I want and all of that, I could not take it. I went home that night after everything had failed and just sat in my room. There was a large knife in front of me. Suicide was a very prevalent thought in my mind. All I wanted was escape. After an hour of sitting there, looking at it, thinking, I just fell apart. i through it in a drawer and just yelled fuck, as loud as I could. My parents were both at the house that night and came up to find me a mess. I didn't go back to school for a month. I was just ok. Getting by. Looking for another school, some alternative, something.

In the end, it became evident that I was stuck. I went back to school. Suicide filled my mind everyday. My grades completely fell apart. When the teachers told me I was a fuck up, I said, "FUCK YOU! You're the teacher, what authorty do you have? You follow a system that is broken, you do it blindly with no remorse!" People thought I was a hero. For a while, I thought I was, then I was diagnosed with mono and a severe sinus infection. While I have shaken the mono, I still have the infection, even though it is now august. I have tried to hard.

When summer finally came, things seemed to be fine. I escaped the people I hated, I had my good friends back in touch, and I was happy to be alive, I loved it, things were great. THe summer has been great. Only one problem, this year, my family has not gone on a trip and will have to wait until next year. This has really got to me. I love going on trips into the woods. That is where I get my best writing done and where my photographic skill becomes evident.

Other than that, summer has been alright. However, now another year is looming in the next few weeks. I told my self at the end of last year that I wanted this year to be different, good grades, no problems. However with school coming up fast, I have become depressed. I do not want this anymore. I just wan to get on with my life of being a pilot for fedex. My father was a flight instructor and I am learning to fly and I love it.

Anyway I really cannot take another year of this shit and I do not know what to do.

Can you guys offer any help?

Thanks for reading my well of text! sorry about the spelling errors, public school hasn't failed me, it has been proven that in order to get the point, spelling does not mean a thing if the words meaning is still there.

Thanks again!
08-21-2007 12:14 PM
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Eidolon Away
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Post: #2
 

That's quite a story.

Home school?
08-21-2007 12:26 PM
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Dark Soul X Offline
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Post: #3
 

Eidolon Wrote:That's quite a story.

Home school?

I've almost commited suicide once too...Just stay hopeful. To quote Demo (a member), "No matter how much life sucks, it'll get better."

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08-21-2007 12:30 PM
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mehateschool Offline
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Post: #4
 

ya i said the same thing. schools gonna b great this year blah blah blah. it sux as usual. dude just talk to ur parents about home school. ask them how they can send u to a place 5 days a week where u r miserable.
08-21-2007 12:34 PM
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tock172 Offline
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Post: #5
 

Thanks guys, hopefully I can get out of this. Who knows what the kids from columbine would be doing today if the school system had actually given a shit.
08-21-2007 12:41 PM
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Alucard483 Offline
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Post: #6
 

dude honestly. If people start shit with you. Push back. My life used to be like that only to a certain lesser extent. Then rumors started spreading about me so I fought back. Since I didnt exactly have the build I went with mentel. I became King of verbel abuse and used large words that made other people feel like idiots. If you can make people feel inferior in any way they will avoid you. Those who opposed backed off quick and things went back to be cool. Everything went basck to the way it was minust the few "friends" that started shit.

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08-21-2007 05:00 PM
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Darthmat Offline
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i to use verbal abuse. it is powerfull. Mwahaha

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08-22-2007 12:01 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #8
 

Hi there... welcome to SS Smile

Sorry to hear about all the crap you went through... what are your parents like? Would they let you try some kind of alternative to school? I don't know if you've seen these pages yet... if not, check 'em:

http://www.school-survival.net/alternatives.php - some basic alternatives, there's probably more depending where you live
http://www.school-survival.net/answers/

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08-22-2007 02:43 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Welcome home dude.

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08-22-2007 03:09 AM
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HerHipness Offline
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Post: #10
 

Hey Wave .

If I were you, I'd definitely look into some type of alternative schooling. If you absolutely need to go back to public school this year, try to keep your goal of being a pilot in mind so that all of the negative crap won't get to you too much.

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sorry guys...a lot of crap has been going on. i'll be lurking from time to time, but not too much :(
08-22-2007 05:01 AM
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tock172 Offline
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Post: #11
 

HerHipness Wrote:Hey Wave .

If I were you, I'd definitely look into some type of alternative schooling. If you absolutely need to go back to public school this year, try to keep your goal of being a pilot in mind so that all of the negative crap won't get to you too much.
I agree on the alternative schooling, I just am out of options where I live. I might consider charter school again, or even a private school that I have heard rave reports about. Believe it or not, the school is actually tolerable to go to.
08-22-2007 05:13 AM
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