First page of my essay.

[Eidolon]

Quote:PALEOLITHIC? MORE LIKE PALEOSPASTIC!
A peek at the lives of the nomads.

The differences between the lives of a Paleolithic nomad and a modern-day Earthican are so very significant, yet so very insignificant. The miniscule details of how our actions are very different from how a nomad from the Paleolithic era would act. However, the same basic needs are being acted upon. …Or are they?
A Paleolithic nomad follows herds of animals around because the animals are their primary food source. He hunts for himself. You or I would go the supermarket. Buy some food, go home, eat it, then do it all again at a later date. Some would say that this “supermarket” technology somehow makes us less susceptible to starvation. Others would say it makes us more susceptible. But the truth is ever elusive. Nobody really knows. …Or do they?
Shelter! We have houses, they have houses. The nomads’ houses aren’t really “houses” in the traditional sense. Perhaps they lived in caves, or made tents of sorts. The discovery of fire greatly impacted how they survived. Suddenly the nomad could heat food, stay warm, and burn things! We don’t need fire. We have microwaves, ovens, toasters, and furnaces. None of this orangey hot nonsense for us middle-Americans. …Or is there?
The Paleolithic nomads were mainly polytheistic. They believed in more than one god or divine entity. I think they’re crazy. Everyone knows that polytheists don’t believe in gravity, yet here they are stuck to the earth like some unexplained brown (or green, in some cases) mush to a jogger’s shoe. …Or are they?
Had the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution and animal domestication never happened… I don’t know. There’s no possible way I can guess what things would be like. It’s ridiculous to think that it could have happened any other way. What happened, happened. It’s too late to change it, so why bother?
So, really, the nomad was cool. He was a man’s man. He was a man’s man’s man. Free from the tyranny and oppression of modern leaders. Then there’s us. Completely dependent on Wal-Mart, Remax, and Maytag. Without them we would surely perish, for they are our bread and butter. Our life essence. Without them we would have no food, no houses, and no air conditioning. A world without these essential needs would be, to put it simply, bad. No longer would I be able to eat my Ramen noodles or sleep in a bed. No longer would I know warmth. No longer would I be able to say, “I am stuffed,” and head for the trash with my plate, only to have some elderly man say, “Starving kids in China would just love to eat that food.” No longer would I be able to reply, “Starving kids in China would just hate cleaning my room, yet I still do it. Besides, I’m not a starving kid in China.”

…Or am I?

Gonna turn this in tomorrow with the other page, which I have not written yet. =/

[roberterher]

I couldn't even read that
Actually reminds me of some school book, couldn't understand a word.
The teacher will probably love it though

[SoulRiser]

Me like. For a school essay, it's actually fun to read

[Thought Criminal]

thats good i like it

[Eidolon]

I've found it! The second page!

Here it is:

Quote:Merely a Fraction of the Required Assignment
But part of the assignment, all the same

5 (five) things that play a significant role in my life that I care with me at all (or most) times throughout the day are:

1. My shoes
2. My pants
3. My shirt
4. My stomach contents
5. Myself

Firstly, my shoes. Without them, there's no telling what horrors would befall my unprotected feet. The need for leather socks would arise. Leather socks that I can't afford. Secondly, my pants. I don't even know what I would do without pants. Pants are the best. Further explanation is not required. ...My shirt. Without it, all the ladies could see my bulging muscles, and then there wouldn't even be a challenge. I'd be scoring left and right, having to battle my way out of the enormous bevies of women. To have to face that kind of fate would be the end of me.

Fourthly, my stomach contents. I would be hungry if they weren't there. Hungry and less able to concentrate. Less able to move. I would be sad. Lastly, but not leastly, myself. It's very important that I carry it with me at all times. If I don't, then I don't even know where I am. I could be at home, I could be at school. I'd like to be at home, but of course being treated as less than human simply because I'm not of age is a necessary trial to become successful. Successful, meaning financially sound, a homeowner, and married. But, cereally, without myself, I'm just somebody else. Who knows who I may or may not be? Maybe you, maybe him, maybe her. Maybe eve more than one person! What a mind job that would be, eh?

5,000 (Five-thousand) years from now, if a person were to discover the 5 (five) listed artifacts of mine, they would probably just disregard them. After all, the stories that gramps told them were fake. Clothes weren't even invented yet. He should just take his medicine and go home. They never liked his stories, anyhow. Besides, doesn't he have a newspaper to yell at?

[SoulRiser]

[Darthmat]

SoulRiser Wrote:

amen

[thoughtmaker]

when the end of civilization comes, everyone is going to be fucked because no one is going to know how survive. this is why i watch suvivorman. when the time comes, i'll be ready

[Rebelnerd]

amen comrade. nutcase survivalism FTW.