Parent's advice for "motivating" their kids to do homework

[waspline]

Quote:How to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework
(without having a nervous breakdown yourself)

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Tired of arguing, nagging and struggling with your kids to get them to do homework? Are you discovering that bribing, threatening, and punishing don't yield positive results? If so, this article is for you. Here you will find the 3 laws of homework and 8 homework tips that if implemented in your home with consistency and an open heart, will reduce study time hassles significantly.

The First Law of Homework: Most children do not like to do homework.

Kids do not enjoy sitting and studying. At least, not after having spent a long school day comprised mostly of sitting and studying. So give up your desire to have them like it. Focus on getting them to do it.

The Second Law of Homework: You cannot make anyone do it.

You can not make your child learn. You cannot make him hold a certain attitude. You cannot make him move his pencil.

While you can not insist, you can assist. Concentrate on assisting by sending positive invitations. Invite and encourage you child using the ideas that follow.

The Third Law of Homework: It's their Problem.

Their pencils have to move. Their brains need to engage. Their bottoms need to be in the chair. It is their report cards that they bring home.

Too many parents see homework as the parent's problem. So they create ultimatums, scream and shout, threaten, bribe, scold, and withhold privileges. Have you noticed that most of these tactics do not work?

Our responsibility as parents is to provide our children with an opportunity to do homework. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system. The child's job is to use the system.

Tip # One

Eliminate the word homework from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word study. Have a study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table instead of a homework table. This word change alone will go a long way towards eliminating the problem of your child saying, "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if you don't have any homework. It's amazing how much more homework kids have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.

Tip # Two

Establish a study routine. This needs to be the same time every day. Let your children have some input on when study time occurs. Once the time is set, stick to that schedule. Kids thrive on structure even as they protest. It may take several weeks for the routine to become a habit. Persist. By having a regular study time you are demonstrating that you value education.

Tip # Three.

Keep the routine predictable and simple. One possibility includes a five minute warning that study time is approaching, bringing their current activity to an end, clearing the study table, emptying their back pack of books and supplies, then beginning.

Tip # Four

Allow children to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice children do not have is whether or not to study.

Tip # Five

Help without over-functioning. Only help if your child asks for it. Do not do problems or assignments for children.

When your child says, "I can't do it, " suggest they act as if they can. Tell them to pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave the immediate area and let them see if they can handle it from there. If they keep telling you they don't know how and you decide to offer help, concentrate on asking than on telling.

Ask:

"What do you get?"
"What parts do you understand?"
"Can you give me an example?"
"What do you think the answer is?"
"How could you find out?"

Tip # Six

If you want a behavior you have to teach a behavior. Disorganization is a problem for many school age children. If you want them to be organized you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Your job is to teach them the system. Their job is to use it. Yes, check occasionally to see if the system is being used. Check more often at first. Provide direction and correction where necessary.

If your child needs help with time management, teach them time management skills. Help them learn what it means to prioritize by the importance and due date of each task. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.

Tip # Seven

Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.

Instead make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

"You followed the directions exactly and finished in 15 minutes."

"I notice you stayed up late last night working on your term paper. It probably wasn't easy saving that much to the end, but your efforts got it done."

"All your letters are right between the lines. I'll bet your teacher won't have any trouble reading this."

"I see you got the study table all organized and ready to go early. Looks like initiative and responsibility hooked together to me."

Tip # Eight

Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Do the dishes, fold laundry, or write thank you notes. Keep the TV off! If you engage in fun or noisy activities during that time children will naturally be distracted. Study time is a family commitment. If you won't commit to it, don't expect that you children will.

Special Note: tonight when your child is studying, begin on your homework assignment, which follows. Reread this article. Decide which parts of it you want to implement. Determine when you will begin. Put it in writing. Then congratulate yourself for getting your homework done.


Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of "The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose," to be released in November and "Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship" (available from Personal Power Press at (toll-free) 877-360-1477). They also publish FREE email newsletters, one for parents and another for couples. Subscribe to one or both at ipp57@aol.com. Visit www.chickmoorman.com and www.thomashaller.com.

GODDAMNIT WHY WHY WHY!!!! WHY THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO US

[fish20]

MAJOR SARCASM WARNING

Jmusial Wrote:

Quote:How to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework
(without having a nervous breakdown yourself)
The First Law of Homework: Most children do not like to do homework.

Kids do not enjoy sitting and studying. At least, not after having spent a long school day comprised mostly of sitting and studying. So give up your desire to have them like it. Focus on getting them to do it.

Why should you have to make someone to do something they don't want to do. Oh I forgot, they are children, and childrens can't think.

Quote:The Second Law of Homework: You cannot make anyone do it.

You can not make your child learn. You cannot make him hold a certain attitude. You cannot make him move his pencil.

While you can not insist, you can assist. Concentrate on brainwashing assisting by sending positive invitations. Invite and encourage you child using the ideas that follow.

The best "law". Yes, you can't make them do it, so don't try to!

Quote:The Third Law of Homework: It's their Problem.

Their pencils have to move. Their brains need to engage. Their bottoms need to be in the chair. It is their report cards that they bring home.

I was unaware that the basic needs of survival are moving pencils, "engaging", sitting, and report cards.

Quote:Our responsibility as parents is to provide our children with an opportunity to do homework. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system. The child's job is to use the system.

Your responsibility is to raise a child, not make the schools do it. The child's "job" is to grow up. Not "grow up", grow up.

Tip # One

Quote:Eliminate the word homework from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word study. Have a study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table instead of a homework table. This word change alone will go a long way towards eliminating the problem of your child saying, "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if you don't have any homework. It's amazing how much more homework kids have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.

Yes, lets just take them by surprise. They are doing homework, they just don't know it!!1!!!!!11!!!!!!111!

Quote:Establish a study routine. This needs to be the same time every day. Let your children have some input on when study time occurs. Once the time is set, stick to that schedule. Kids thrive on structure even as they protest. It may take several weeks for the routine to become a habit. Persist. By having a regular study time you are demonstrating that you value education.

Not all children are the same! Some hate structure and schedules. How boring is that? The same thing everyday.

Quote:Keep the routine predictable and simple. One possibility includes a five minute warning that study time is approaching, bringing their current activity to an end, clearing the study table, emptying their back pack of books and supplies, then beginning.

Yeah, lets make them stop being happy, doing things they actually like, maybe even LEARNING OUTSIDE OF SCHOOLWORK!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!111????/????/??//??????!

Quote:Allow children to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice children do not have is whether or not to study.

They do have that choice God. Oh wait no, they will goto hellstreets if they have a choice. If they follow your commands, they might goto heavencollege when they diegraduate.

Quote:If you want a behavior you have to teach a behavior. Disorganization is a problem for many school age children. If you want them to be organized you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Your job is to teach them the system. Their job is to use it. Yes, check occasionally to see if the system is being used. Check more often at first. Provide direction and correction where necessary.

Your responsibility is to raise a child, not make the schools do it. The child's "job" is to grow up. Not "grow up", grow up.

Quote:If your child needs help with time management, teach them time management skills. Help them learn what it means to prioritize by the importance and due date of each task. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.

I.E. Teach them to waste time by doing homework.

Quote:Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.

School and homework WILL NOT help your child develop a lifetime love of learning. Did you even goto school? Oh yeah, you were brainwashed.

Quote:Instead make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

"You followed the directions exactly and finished in 15 minutes."

"I notice you stayed up late last night working on your term paper. It probably wasn't easy saving that much to the end, but your efforts got it done."

"All your letters are right between the lines. I'll bet your teacher won't have any trouble reading this."

"I see you got the study table all organized and ready to go early. Looks like initiative and responsibility hooked together to me."

Yeah, so encouraging. . . .

Quote:Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Do the dishes, fold laundry, or write thank you notes. Keep the TV off! If you engage in fun or noisy activities during that time children will naturally be distracted. Study time is a family commitment. If you won't commit to it, don't expect that you children will.

Exactly. Homework/Studying is FUCKING BORING. Why make your child do it then? Because this guy is a brainwashed sheeple seeking to brainwash others to be sheeple.

Quote:Special Note: tonight when your child is studying, begin on your homework assignment, which follows. Reread this article. Decide which parts of it you want to implement. Determine when you will begin. Put it in writing. Then congratulate yourself for getting your homework done.

I am naturally inclined to give homework no matter what because I am schoolbot #7836453.

Quote:Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of "The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose," to be released in November and "Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship" (available from Personal Power Press at (toll-free) 877-360-1477). They also publish FREE email newsletters, one for parents and another for couples. Subscribe to one or both at ipp57@aol.com. Visit http://www.chickmoorman.com and http://www.thomashaller.com.

Quote:Our responsibility as spouses is to provide our partner with an opportunity to love. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system. Your partners's job is to use the system.

[Rebelnerd]

Quote: It's amazing how much more homework kids have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.

Way to divide by zero there, Chick and Thomas.

[genuine anarchist]

If the schools actually did what they claimed to do (educate kids, which we all know is bullshit), there wouldn't be a need for homework. I don't see this author taking home work from his 9-5 job at his/her cubicle.

[Prince Rilian]

Quote:End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.

Why isn't the author of this shit aware that the grades etc are exactly this same kind of bribery, and that's why school has nothing to do with learning.

[Rastko]

You made my day! I lol'd.
Although this is rather sad when I read it again. :(

But the comments when people questioned did that genius really write "a case against homework" or his parents did the whole thing were another complete loss of fate in humanity.

Accept that damn fact - "homework" is a blatant invasion of privacy!

[Aya]

Prince Rilian Wrote:End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.

Neither does homework, in my experience. The vast majority of the time I wasn't doing homework I was either outside playing in the woods, working, or reading non assigned literature.

[Fractomancer]

Lol, I never do homework. If there is something school has successfully taught me it's pretending to be working without getting anything done.

[Rastko]

Art lessons are the significant contribution to the commercialization of art these days. They learn children that the only purpose of art is - to get good grades. Grades show how sick and cruel this society is.

[Fractomancer]

Rastko Wrote:Art lessons are the significant contribution to the commercialization of art these days. They learn children that the only purpose of art is - to get good grades. Grades show how sick and cruel this society is.

LOL This is true. Teachers don't understand that there's art other than drawings and clay works. :/

[flann]

Fractomancer Wrote:

Rastko Wrote:Art lessons are the significant contribution to the commercialization of art these days. They learn children that the only purpose of art is - to get good grades. Grades show how sick and cruel this society is.

LOL This is true. Teachers don't understand that there's art other than drawings and clay works. :/

Trolling is an art!

Ok, but seriously.

Fuck your opinions, but minecraft is an art. A building art. I don't have a million dollars to build a million dollar house. But I have 30 dollars to build a simulation of a million dollar house. (and infinite more)

As, art is the 'human expression of imagination'

I daydream at school frequently. But only when the teacher is about to fuck me over if I don't shut up talking to people next to me.

[Josky]

Jmusial Wrote:

Quote:How to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework
(without having a nervous breakdown yourself)

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Tired of arguing, nagging and struggling with your kids to get them to do homework? Are you discovering that bribing, threatening, and punishing don't yield positive results? If so, this article is for you. Here you will find the 3 laws of homework and 8 homework tips that if implemented in your home with consistency and an open heart, will reduce study time hassles significantly.

The First Law of Homework: Most children do not like to do homework.

Kids do not enjoy sitting and studying. At least, not after having spent a long school day comprised mostly of sitting and studying. So give up your desire to have them like it. Focus on getting them to do it.

The Second Law of Homework: You cannot make anyone do it.

You can not make your child learn. You cannot make him hold a certain attitude. You cannot make him move his pencil.

While you can not insist, you can assist. Concentrate on assisting by sending positive invitations. Invite and encourage you child using the ideas that follow.

The Third Law of Homework: It's their Problem.

Their pencils have to move. Their brains need to engage. Their bottoms need to be in the chair. It is their report cards that they bring home.

Too many parents see homework as the parent's problem. So they create ultimatums, scream and shout, threaten, bribe, scold, and withhold privileges. Have you noticed that most of these tactics do not work?

Our responsibility as parents is to provide our children with an opportunity to do homework. Our job is to provide structure, to create the system. The child's job is to use the system.

Tip # One

Eliminate the word homework from your vocabulary. Replace it with the word study. Have a study time instead of a homework time. Have a study table instead of a homework table. This word change alone will go a long way towards eliminating the problem of your child saying, "I don't have any homework." Study time is about studying, even if you don't have any homework. It's amazing how much more homework kids have when they have to study regardless of whether they have homework or not.

Tip # Two

Establish a study routine. This needs to be the same time every day. Let your children have some input on when study time occurs. Once the time is set, stick to that schedule. Kids thrive on structure even as they protest. It may take several weeks for the routine to become a habit. Persist. By having a regular study time you are demonstrating that you value education.

Tip # Three.

Keep the routine predictable and simple. One possibility includes a five minute warning that study time is approaching, bringing their current activity to an end, clearing the study table, emptying their back pack of books and supplies, then beginning.

Tip # Four

Allow children to make choices about homework and related issues. They could choose to do study time before or after dinner. They could do it immediately after they get home or wake up early in the morning to do it. Invite them to choose the kitchen table or a spot in their own room. One choice children do not have is whether or not to study.

Tip # Five

Help without over-functioning. Only help if your child asks for it. Do not do problems or assignments for children.

When your child says, "I can't do it, " suggest they act as if they can. Tell them to pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave the immediate area and let them see if they can handle it from there. If they keep telling you they don't know how and you decide to offer help, concentrate on asking than on telling.

Ask:

"What do you get?"
"What parts do you understand?"
"Can you give me an example?"
"What do you think the answer is?"
"How could you find out?"

Tip # Six

If you want a behavior you have to teach a behavior. Disorganization is a problem for many school age children. If you want them to be organized you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Your job is to teach them the system. Their job is to use it. Yes, check occasionally to see if the system is being used. Check more often at first. Provide direction and correction where necessary.

If your child needs help with time management, teach them time management skills. Help them learn what it means to prioritize by the importance and due date of each task. Teach them to create an agenda each time they sit down to study. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.

Tip # Seven

Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. End the practice of paying for grades and going on a special trip for ice cream. This style of bribery has only short term gains and does little to encourage children to develop a lifetime love of learning.

Instead make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

"You followed the directions exactly and finished in 15 minutes."

"I notice you stayed up late last night working on your term paper. It probably wasn't easy saving that much to the end, but your efforts got it done."

"All your letters are right between the lines. I'll bet your teacher won't have any trouble reading this."

"I see you got the study table all organized and ready to go early. Looks like initiative and responsibility hooked together to me."

Tip # Eight

Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Do the dishes, fold laundry, or write thank you notes. Keep the TV off! If you engage in fun or noisy activities during that time children will naturally be distracted. Study time is a family commitment. If you won't commit to it, don't expect that you children will.

Special Note: tonight when your child is studying, begin on your homework assignment, which follows. Reread this article. Decide which parts of it you want to implement. Determine when you will begin. Put it in writing. Then congratulate yourself for getting your homework done.


Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of "The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose," to be released in November and "Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship" (available from Personal Power Press at (toll-free) 877-360-1477). They also publish FREE email newsletters, one for parents and another for couples. Subscribe to one or both at ipp57@aol.com. Visit http://www.chickmoorman.com and http://www.thomashaller.com.

GODDAMNIT WHY WHY WHY!!!! WHY THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO US

Bring these people to me, and I shall beat them with oranges and textbooks.

[McGee!]

Maybe Sarcastic could make his own list/colab? Will come with rants later.

[jdecolt]

Honestly I cant say that this is the Worst i've ever seen, but its still fairly depressing. Especially the parts about tricking kids into doing homework and such. How difficult is it really to treat us as intelligant individuals rather then objects to manipulate into during whater the government/school/parent's will is