Doing what we want to do is hard - but probably worth it.

[Absnt]

If there's one thing I've come to realize through all of my studies, my readings, and all of my life's accumulated knowledge, it's that we must do what we want. There are, however, gratuitous amounts of difficulties in doing what we want. These difficulties seem insurmountable, but only because we were raised to believe that they are exactly that. Those who are truly free-spirited, intelligent and independent know this and liberate themselves by way of escape. Though we all know this, we still cease to liberate ourselves... But why?

Why? Is it because we are afraid of the future? Afraid of change? Afraid that all of what we have compiled and know is false? What is it that keeps me from perusing homeschooling with everything I have, and what is it that keeps you from doing whatever you want to do? Is it because the system is so ridiculously rigged against us that we are too discouraged to peruse what we really want?

I'm not going to pretend to have the answers. I'm not going to tell you that I know why I haven't run away and attempted to build myself a new life. I can't tell you why I don't do the things I want to do, but I can tell you that it is completely absurd NOT to do those things. I believe that it is a very, very probable that when we die, there will be nothingness, and we will cease to exist for all of eternity. I believe that, right now, if I died, that is one of the most likely scenarios. I realize that, yet I still hold myself back in this life from some of the things I believe necessary. This is the last time any of us will ever have the opportunity to take advantage of this moment to produce what we want, yet we still cease to do just that. Why?

[Elfy]

I think in the same way...

One half of me wants to say fuck school and the system and not go tommorow. The other half of me is afraid of what will happen, the people who have raised me since day one, the people I've known all my life. One half of my says screw what they think, its my life. The other says go tommorow and it will be over in a few months and you can do what you wish... but I'm not free, I wish to be liberated now. I should be taking advantage of life whilst I still can. Even some materialistic goods hold me back... gaming is the worst but sometimes the temptation of simply getting a job and buying an awesome gaming setup drags me towards being just another consumer... its the easy way of doing things and it looks to be a damn sight more exciting than squatting buildings or otherwise... I wish it was as easy as saying fuck it, its hard to do when you lose hope everyday as the world gets shittier.

[Prince Rilian]

Well, as you may recall, I in fact did quit public high school. But then I ended up going to college, right back on that same path.

My best friend used to talk about how she wanted to go to china and work in a rice paddy. Frankly I think that's stupid because rice paddies are the most work-intensive type of farming, according to what I've read, but I understood, she just wanted to get away from the identity that had been thrust upon her and do something completely different. She wanted to get away more than I did, and I think the key difference is that she was physically and emotionally abused for years by her "mother" and her older brother.

Me, I never wanted to throw away my old life or my identity. But I did want to do something different. I see what my parents are doing now and I feel pity and disgust over it. My mom is always working working working. She seems to spend all of her time doing laundry and making lunch for my dad. And my dad just lays in bed, goes to deliver his paper route, then comes home and sits around. My brother is talking about getting a Ph.D. in math. He hasn't even gone beyond calculus yet. He doesn't really know what math is. I keep telling him it is stupid to decide that so early. Why doesn't he learn from what happened to our mom. She got a Ph.D. and has boxed herself into a field she is disenchanted with.

And now it seems, at the behest of my boyfriend, I'm going to go into "teaching". Teaching seems to be a pretty easy field to get into. I do personally know someone who failed her observations and was not granted a teaching certificate, but just look at all the idiots who are teachers. Two of my idiot cousins are elementary school teachers. And some school districts pay $50.000 a year. Maybe I will only be a "teacher" for a while. Maybe I'll find something else to do. But it doesn't seem I am qualified for anything, because a math degree is useless on the job market, so the only thing I can do is get a teaching certificate. And I will do that shit and I will live in some stupid apartment and after some amount of time, move in with my boyfriend, and have the same kind of bland existence my parents have. Oh, I'll at least make sure it's punctuated with adventures.... but how I'd rather go do something completely different.

I know exactly why I've never left "the path". Now I have my boyfriend to think about, if I left the path, I'd be leaving him, and I don't want to do that. But I had a reason before that.

I don't want to be alone.

My best friend and I used to talk about leaving the path together. At least then we wouldn't be completely alone. But she was always afraid to disappoint her parents. And now she has a boyfriend too.

There are possibly a few anomolies, but humans really need company. They need love. Oxygen, water, food, shelter, love. And maybe some stuff about "self-actualization" after that.

tl;dr It's lonely on the outside.

[HeartofShadows]

*hugs everybody*

Maybe deep down we still want to believe in the artificial happiness as the alternates are too hard and painful.
One side of me looks at this pc and thinks "I don't need this.."
But then when I get up I look at reality and I realize its complete shit and I sit right back down.

I don't need people and I don't need company but like Rillian said company is nice and its numbing and discouraging to be alone no matter how terrible the company.

T,l,dr: I'm a weak willed coward who is waiting til he has no choice but to face reality and even then may be to much of a coward.

[Elfy]

HeartofShadows Wrote:Maybe deep down we still want to believe in the artificial happiness as the alternates are too hard and painful.
One side of me looks at this pc and thinks "I don't need this.."
But then when I get up I look at reality and I realize its complete shit and I sit right back down.

Ditto.

If someone was going to go with me I would fuck this life and go squatt and adventure the fucking world. Otherwise I cling to shit like my PC to escape from this reality.

[Negative]

Maybe you don't do the things you want to do because you know you can't, or the costs are too high.

And because you don't have anything planned out to deal with what comes next if you did.

[Elfy]

Maybe having no plan is the exciting part, live life on a whim. I'm really warming to the idea of freeganism, I think if I can find others near me first that are willing to do it I'll jump at the chance as soon as I've left school. I want to get some experience before I hitchike to London if I do. I think it would be really cool to travel around London on a skateboard from dumpster to dumpster and skatepark to skatepark and have some abandoned building to call home with someone. I'd be at the centre of things where protests happen as well.

[Negative]

It's not like it's impossible, but it's either going to be boring as hell or really hard. Or both.

[Absnt]

Negative Wrote:It's not like it's impossible, but it's either going to be boring as hell or really hard. Or both.

I can tell you from experience it's not boring, although it's pretty fucking hard. Never done it without a car though. I'd imagine doing it without a car would be really fucking hard. Still, it might be worth it. See: Evasion.

[Negative]

It's not as free as you'd like to think though. You'll end up becoming a slave to your basic needs, although you'll be mostly free from societal requirements.

[NowhereWoman]

So true. I've realized in the last year or so that in the end it all boils down to doing what makes you happy and what you want to do. Ideologies are guidelines, morals are important but subjective.

[SoulRiser]

I think a lot of people don't do what they want, because deep down they wish they actually wanted something else... because what they really want is "abnormal" by society's standards somehow, and everyone they know will think they're weird for doing it. Peer pressure and all that crap. They want people to be proud of them, and they know that if they do what they want, people will more likely be 'disappointed' and critical of what they're doing. It takes guts, and you really have to not care about what other people think of you.

I don't believe there will be nothingness when we die, but either way it's still worth it to do what you want while you're alive, because whether it's nothingness or reincarnation or heaven or hell - either way, everything will change once your life on earth is over... so you might as well make the most of it while you're here.