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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

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Children and Their Ideas
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #1
Children and Their Ideas

darthmat found this.
http://www.btinternet.com/~knutty.knigh ... ldren.html

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." she was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move" answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know", explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."




A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.... "Da-d...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"




An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, "For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"




One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?".
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear" she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room".
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy".




It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?".
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron.".




When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!".
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy".
"I know", she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"




A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes", he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."




One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ".
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Shit! A talking chicken!".
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

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EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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02-15-2008 03:29 AM
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Hanny's Old Account Offline
Pariah

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Post: #2
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Quote:One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ".
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Shit! A talking chicken!".
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

ROFL. Giggle

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
but I got him where I want him now...

[Image: Chiisu.png]
My brother who has problems with grammar in the middle of words Wrote:M0nkeynut5 says (14:20):
Well - yeah In am hot. Obviously. Your lovely an al;l but I have the better genes and I'm roasting hot!
02-15-2008 03:47 AM
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Eidolon Away
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Post: #3
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Oh my, this is delicious. Laugh
02-15-2008 04:13 AM
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Darthmat Offline
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Post: #4
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Thanks for the credit Biggrin

I highly suggest Mobb Deep's albums The Infamous and Hell on Earth, if you have not listened to it yet.
02-15-2008 09:00 AM
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Suicidal-kun Offline
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Post: #5
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Rofl Rofl Rofl Fucking! Classic! Rofl Rofl Rofl
02-15-2008 09:33 AM
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cryptevah72 Offline
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Post: #6
Re: Children and Their Ideas

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg that was good, put me in a better mood Razz

i am me myself and i
we are very much the same
different types of entities
under one single name


Flock <3
02-15-2008 02:36 PM
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Specter Offline
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Post: #7
Re: Children and Their Ideas

And they call them angels...ROFL

Jesus backwards sounds like 'sausage'. =D
02-16-2008 02:29 AM
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Alucard483 Offline
Site Mod

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Post: #8
Re: Children and Their Ideas

One day in school the teacher taught the children a new word, definantly. She then told them to use it in a sentance. Jim raised his hand and said "The sky is definantly blue" The teacher told him he was wrong because the sky could also be orange during sundown. Jane raised her hand and said "Leaves are definantly green." the teacher then said "No, leave change color in the fall." Bobby inn the back the raised his hand and asked "Do farts have lumps?" She replied in disgust, "NO! dont be disgusting!" He then said "Then I definantly shit my pants."

Whilst some work diligently there are those who ask why. I am one of them
(\__/) This is Bunny. Paste Bunny into your signature
(='.'=) to help him gain world domination.
(")_(")
Soul#2: I already have a grip. Doc:and a porno mag and a tube of lube I'm sure"
Lifes a bitch, then you marry one
This has been a test of the emergency pointless argument system. Had this been a real pointless argument, someone would have been called a facist.
Ceiling Cat: For that you need to wear a fursuit, though.

Inside sources say that Carla Franklin has had more dick in her than a public urinal.
02-16-2008 01:26 PM
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SlaveOftheBeast Offline
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Post: #9
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Quote:
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' ".
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?".
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: "Holy Shit! A talking chicken!".
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes

Funny one.

To death to me part
02-16-2008 11:05 PM
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Jonno Offline
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Post: #10
Re: Children and Their Ideas

ROFLMAO. Literally.
02-18-2008 07:10 PM
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ChickenLeg Offline
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Post: #11
Re: Children and Their Ideas

Children are the endless bringers of lulz.

[Image: b24db005eGyMw.png]
02-26-2008 09:34 AM
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Trekkie_Aspie Offline
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Post: #12
Kids say the darndest things- cba to remove ads.

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Kids Say The Darndest Things!
By Robert Kennedy, About.com

See More About:students' wrong answersstudents' bloopers
Most grade school teachers agree that kids say the darndest things. Here are some examples:
The future of "I give" is "I take."

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.

A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.


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One thing (among many others) school couldn't teach you.

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stupid article
02-27-2008 05:15 AM
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