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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

The forums are mostly read-only and are in a maintenance/testing phase, before being permanently archived. Please use this time to get the contact details of people you'd like to keep in touch with. My contact details are here.

Please do not make a mirror copy of the forums in their current state - things will still change, and some people have requested to be able to edit or delete some of their personal info.


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I am a hypocrite
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Zombie Offline
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Post: #1
I am a hypocrite

I always talked about not caring what others think. Yet I still have. I may reject negative criticism, but I've thrived for praise. All I can think about is being the best. showing everyone that I am good has driven my ambitions for a while now. I may have stopped conforming to the preps and the jocks, but I've conformed to you guys. I know have to deal with the confusion of not knowing what I like, cause the only reasons I can find for my hobbies is being good at them. Hell I don't even know why I'm saying this to you, I have no reason to.

See you later. Never associate yourself with those you are acquainted to.

Who are the brain police?
02-22-2008 11:52 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #2
Re: I am a hypocrite

I think everyone (or at least most people) are like that to some extent. I mean, who doesn't like praise? It can be a problem if it becomes the reason you do things, though.

You're not leaving, are you? Sad

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

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"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
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02-23-2008 01:14 AM
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Will Offline
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Post: #3
Re: I am a hypocrite

I'm always worried that I'm conforming to whatever I read about education, so I keep re-examining what I think, trying to find some flaw.

I must say that many of the posts here are made by noobs who seem to be conforming to whatever they read. (Look at the top posters.) I did that a little when I first read about education (before I found this site). I realized that I was, though, so I just started being much more critical.

I disagree with most people here about a lot of things. In many threads, I'm the only one with a certain view. When people continually disagree with me but do not provide strong evidence, I do not try to compromise; I just consider them inferior. You don't need to leave to avoid conforming to what's posted here.

And it's understandable that people would want real praise, acceptance, &c. I don't like when people yell at me and call me worthless and stupid, so it's understandable that I would like when people tell me I'm important and smart. I don't believe them most of the time, though, because they're often just being "polite".

It's nice to have other people who really agree with you. You think that what you think is right is right, even though everyone else says you're crazy. Knowing that a few other people agree with you reminds you that you're not crazy and helps you avoid conforming to everyone else.
02-23-2008 02:20 AM
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Eidolon Away
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Post: #4
Re: I am a hypocrite

I had thought about this as well.

"Am I letting this site have too much of an effect on me?"
"Is this what I really believe?"

I'm still trying to answer those questions, but there's no real way for me to be sure. And by no means will I be leaving the site any time soon. Biggrin
02-23-2008 03:11 AM
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Vatman Offline
Foreplay in Ink

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Post: #5
Re: I am a hypocrite

I believe that one of the characteristics that all humans share is the ability to change our minds. The core problem with set belief's and ideas is that there is always a way to argue a point, and always another story to a tale.

I hate the idea of slaughtering innocent creatures, and yet I chow down on hamburgers.
I hate the destruction of our environment, and I don't even use both sides on a sheet of paper.

To be human is to be a hypocrite.

Some cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.
02-23-2008 07:10 AM
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Zombie Offline
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Post: #6
Re: I am a hypocrite

"See you later" doesn't mean "Goodbye". No I'm not leaving.

Who are the brain police?
02-23-2008 12:53 PM
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dreamer... Offline
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Post: #7
Re: I am a hypocrite

Quote:I always talked about not caring what others think. Yet I still have.

Same here- most of all when it comes to school (but I do that for my parents' sake, not my own).
And hey, everyone likes praise. as long as you're not doing something you hate, it's okay - human, as Vatman said- to seek praise.
02-23-2008 06:10 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Posts: 18,240
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Post: #8
Re: I am a hypocrite

Quote:Knowing that a few other people agree with you reminds you that you're not crazy and helps you avoid conforming to everyone else.

True.

I don't think there's anyone on this planet that agrees 100% with everything I believe... I doubt that anyone will ever find someone who agrees on absolutely everything... but life's more interesting that way.

Quote:"See you later" doesn't mean "Goodbye". No I'm not leaving.

Yay Smile

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

Support School Survival on Patreon or Donate Bitcoin Here: 1Q5WCcxWjayniaL92b8GfXBiGdfjmnUNa2
"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
EIPD - Emotionally Incompetent Parent Disorder

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02-23-2008 11:30 PM
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thoughtmaker Offline
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Post: #9
Re: I am a hypocrite

instead of focusing on being the best to show everyone, do the best you want to do for yourself.

also, don´t get hung up if you find yourself still conforming. getting bothered by it does no good. just continue trying.
02-24-2008 04:13 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Post: #10
Re: I am a hypocrite

Good saying Vatman..

To be human is to be a hypocrite.
Its so true..

Oh I don't really see myself as conforming to what anybody here believes. I examine everybodies beliefs and I agree with what I see.

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02-26-2008 11:19 AM
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