Funny theist quotes

[arthasmenethil]

http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Fu ... ist_quotes

This is funny

[Darthmat]

If those weren't true, it would be hysterical.

(But I'll lol anyways.)

[Darthmat]

http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Logical_Fallacies

I like this page.

[KittyKatBlack]

www.fstdt.com

Only a few are actually funny. Most are just sad or rage inducing.

[SoulRiser]

The first one made me LMAO.

Quote:Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn. Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door. What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth. Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son [Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]

This, however, is NOT FUNNEH AT ALL.
Fucking moron.

Ugh. I don't even wanna read the rest of that page anymoar.

[liq3]

It was funny at the start...Then after a bit it became really sad...And I stopped reading it. :(

[Selene_Ger]

... That's the craziest stuff I've ever heard... What kind of argument is "My Bible is right, so yours is wrong"?!
Some people really need to go back to school. And here I thought that the one thing that makes us human is intelligence and emotion. Obviously, someone is desperately trying to prove me wrong.

[NiteRaidah]

Ah, Fundies Say The Darndest Things.

Some things are funny, some aren't terrible, and some are just abhorrid. It's a shame that so many so-called Christians act like this.

[Milk2Go]

This is what religion really is.
Intolerance, hatred, violence, and cruelty.

Also,

Quote:Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals), since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all. No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades.

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.

I am so fucking offended by this, words can't describe it.

[Darthmat]

BobManPerson Wrote:This is what religion really is.
Intolerance, hatred, violence, and cruelty.

No it is not. This is not real religion.

[Suicidal-kun]

I found most of that to not be funny, but sad, stupid, and infuriating. It didn't take long for me to have to stop, before I was forced to go to the nearest church and blow it up.