Why was your day great?

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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Why was your day great?
Author	Message

Gwedin Offline

dumb shithead

Posts: 2,361
Joined: May 2013

Thanks: 217
Given 559 thank(s) in 410 post(s)

Post: #730

Why was your day great?

(12-18-2013 04:52 AM)Ariogaisus Wrote:
(12-10-2013 05:33 PM)Gwedin Wrote: Damn, I'm on a roll. Two days in a row! As some of you may know I'm a developer for a small MMORPG named Daimonin. (Free advertising FTW.) This was my first time in charge of an event. It was Christmas. The only other one that rivals it in terms of player expectations is Halloween. Well. I'd been lazy up until today, so I chucked up a bunch of finished but largely untested maps accompanied by some scripts. There was soooo many things I had to deal with due to not being fully tested.

My point is that I worked my ass off for roughly 10 hours including food breaks to make them work and God it felt good when I had finally got them working properly. I had a huge pain in my neck/back area because I use the most horrid of chairs (which is being remedied tomorrow as I'm picking up that leather chair I mentioned in my previous post).

So fuck yeah. Hard work. Haven't done it in ages, obviously.

That is very interesting. I've always been fascinated about game development and used to want to be a game dev myself until I realized I'm quite dull when it comes to dealing with beginner level mathematics. I tried to learn programming by starting with C# and when I realized that was too hard for my feeble brain I went into this fit of sadness and to this day, I haven't recovered from that blow to my self-esteem and confidence. Then I looked into other jobs related to video games and that resulted in me giving up on that dream entirely. I can't art, write and other areas like producing or designing don't interest me. Now my ambitions are to go to the millitary after high school which I think is a noble goal, hopefully it suits me.

...sry for bad post.

When did I ever say anything about programming? Razz

Aside from writing the occasional script, I never code. I know how to, but I just don't like it. I mainly create graphics and maps (dungeons, towns, etc.). To be a developer just means you have to develop the game in some way. Razz

The military seems like a decent career choice. Personally, I can't stand the idea of university so I'll either join the NZ Air Force, or go freelance 3D Artist until I can get hired by a proper studio or better yet, start my own.

My IT teacher thinks I'd be able to get a scholarship for university in computer science but IDK if I want to go, even if I'm being paid for.

And regarding your C# attempt: Practice man. AFAIK there are schools dedicated to video game development, so you may want to consider getting into one of those. And if you want to get in some experience there are heaps of open source games out there always needing help (Daimonin especially! We have only two programmers.).

(This post was last modified: 12-18-2013 07:26 AM by Gwedin.)

12-18-2013 07:24 AM