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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Why was your day awful?
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fragile-esteem Offline
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Post: #31
Re: Why was your day awful?

i'm me

butterfly kisses xxx

COMMUNISM is when you have two cows, the governement takes both and gives you the milk
SOCIALISM is when you have two cows and give one to your neighbour.
NEW DEALISM (is when things go wrong) is when you have two cows, the government takes both, shoots one and milks the other but then throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM is when you have two cows and then sell one to buy a bull.
FACISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and sells you the milk.
NAZISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and shoots you.

I typed: "end of the world" into google and saw the hiroshima bombing and 9/11, irony much.
05-19-2008 06:45 AM
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Pyrokinetic_Punker Offline
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Post: #32
Re: Why was your day awful?

I had really weird dreams last night and I woke up crying and gasping for breathe, I woke Mark up and told him how bad I felt but he didn't help much, lazy bastard wont even get out of bed to make sure I'm OK. I cut myself while I washed the dishes so I got some blood in the sink. I'm still really mad at Mark for looking a pron, I don't please him enough, I'm going to try and stop eating or something, there must be something I'm doing wrong if I don't sexually please him...
05-19-2008 02:55 PM
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dreamer... Offline
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Post: #33
Re: Why was your day awful?

Quote:I'm still really mad at Mark for looking a pron, I don't please him enough, I'm going to try and stop eating or something, there must be something I'm doing wrong if I don't sexually please him...

Maybe you're not doing anything wrong. Maybe he has some kind of addiction problem, or maybe he's just being insensitive to your feelings. :(
05-19-2008 04:17 PM
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Darthmat Offline
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Post: #34
Re: Why was your day awful?

dreamer... Wrote:
Quote:I'm still really mad at Mark for looking a pron, I don't please him enough, I'm going to try and stop eating or something, there must be something I'm doing wrong if I don't sexually please him...

Maybe you're not doing anything wrong. Maybe he has some kind of addiction problem, or maybe he's just being insensitive to your feelings. :(

PP, guys are horny as fuck. They can't be satisfied just through sex... they need their 'alone time' as well. It ain't your fault.

I highly suggest Mobb Deep's albums The Infamous and Hell on Earth, if you have not listened to it yet.
05-19-2008 08:57 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #35
Re: Why was your day awful?

Him looking at porn doesn't mean you don't please him enough or something. Maybe he just likes porn. I mean... who doesn't like porn? (guys I mean) Uhoh

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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05-20-2008 02:28 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Post: #36
Re: Why was your day awful?

Thanks to the bitch police harrassing my cousin and aunt they had no choice but to admit to knowing some guy who sells drugs. The guys found out and they shot up their car and house. Fuck those dickshit police!

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05-20-2008 07:18 AM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #37
Re: Why was your day awful?

Well, it was the other dude's choice to shoot up the house, so I'd put most of the blame on him...

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
Help & Support - Get help with leaving school, unsupportive parents, and more.
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05-21-2008 04:33 AM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Post: #38
Re: Why was your day awful?

Hahaha the police busted the guys who did it.
It seems even they can do something right sometimes. Mwahaha

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05-21-2008 08:43 AM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #39
Re: Why was your day awful?

I realized that the human race is doomed to constant war, deception, and inequality yesterday. I then subsequently realized there is very little I can do about it. Maybe they'll nuke each other so much we're sent back into a neolithic state, that would at least alleviate population growth.

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05-25-2008 02:30 AM
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i-am-the-liquor Offline
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Post: #40
Re: Why was your day awful?

ill never ammount to anything and i keep getting stupid questions about my sexuality from so calld freinds

I dont mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am,so thats how it comes out.- bill hicks
05-25-2008 04:01 AM
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random_name Offline
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Post: #41
Re: Why was your day awful?

i am at a bbq and am sick of the sight of meat. cannot access the underground yet, so cannot see some topics i like that have been moved.

Hidden stuff:
"A 'no' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble." - Mahatma Gandhi

"The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it."

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin

"when I was a kid I used to pray for a bicycle. then I realized that god doesn't work that way. so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness."
"I would rather die for something I believe in than live for anything else."
"What is the task of higher education? To make a man into a machine. What are the means employed? He is taught how to suffer being bored." – F W Nietzsche
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05-25-2008 04:11 AM
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fragile-esteem Offline
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Post: #42
Re: Why was your day awful?

I'm me... still.

butterfly kisses xxx

COMMUNISM is when you have two cows, the governement takes both and gives you the milk
SOCIALISM is when you have two cows and give one to your neighbour.
NEW DEALISM (is when things go wrong) is when you have two cows, the government takes both, shoots one and milks the other but then throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM is when you have two cows and then sell one to buy a bull.
FACISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and sells you the milk.
NAZISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and shoots you.

I typed: "end of the world" into google and saw the hiroshima bombing and 9/11, irony much.
05-25-2008 05:49 AM
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thewake Offline
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Post: #43
Re: Why was your day awful?

Quote:i am at a bbq and am sick of the sight of meat. cannot access the underground yet, so cannot see some topics i like that have been moved
No matter what anybody's told you, there is no Underground; only a hidden forum for SoulRiser to curse us while she acts nice everywhere else.

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05-25-2008 06:33 AM
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fragile-esteem Offline
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Post: #44
Re: Why was your day awful?

i just drank and cup of ice with 4 espresso shots without thinking about the calories Smile and then purged it :(

butterfly kisses xxx

COMMUNISM is when you have two cows, the governement takes both and gives you the milk
SOCIALISM is when you have two cows and give one to your neighbour.
NEW DEALISM (is when things go wrong) is when you have two cows, the government takes both, shoots one and milks the other but then throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM is when you have two cows and then sell one to buy a bull.
FACISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and sells you the milk.
NAZISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and shoots you.

I typed: "end of the world" into google and saw the hiroshima bombing and 9/11, irony much.
05-25-2008 05:48 PM
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Zstriker Offline
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Post: #45
Re: Why was your day awful?

Man, you guys are a major buzz-kill. Your days may have been bad, but I have screwed up the worst. Are you ready for this? I BURNED TOP-RAMEN, which is, by the way, noodles in water. Mwahaha

*Insert awesome signature here*
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"You can fight with only 2 things, your wits and your weapons."-Zach Eckard
Soldier1-"Remember the Alamo!"
Soldier2-"Didn't everyone die at the Alamo?"
Soldier1-"Don't remember that part!"
05-25-2008 05:55 PM
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fragile-esteem Offline
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Post: #46
Re: Why was your day awful?

I realised the "why was your day awful" thread is much longer than the "why was your day great"

butterfly kisses xxx

COMMUNISM is when you have two cows, the governement takes both and gives you the milk
SOCIALISM is when you have two cows and give one to your neighbour.
NEW DEALISM (is when things go wrong) is when you have two cows, the government takes both, shoots one and milks the other but then throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM is when you have two cows and then sell one to buy a bull.
FACISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and sells you the milk.
NAZISM is when you have two cows, the government takes both and shoots you.

I typed: "end of the world" into google and saw the hiroshima bombing and 9/11, irony much.
05-26-2008 12:01 AM
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Demonic Pyro Offline
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Post: #47
Re: Why was your day awful?

I woke up earliest of everyone in the house, so boredom from the start.
I got left home alone cause I had to go to work.
I only worked for AN HOUR because my friend Will decided to switch me with someone else so he could hang out with me.
He picked me up from work and picked up a few friends.
I was dropped off at home alone again cause there was no room in the car.
Then they don't even get me from the house.
they where ouside for an hour before I even noticed and by that time they all had to go.

So I did nothing all F*@ing day.
Biggrin

:-P
That is all.
05-26-2008 12:26 PM
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dreamer... Offline
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Post: #48
Re: Why was your day awful?

Wolfeh Wrote:I can't stop thinking about how much I'm afraid to leave the house 'n go to college 'n shit. I might graduate early, and thus may start my "adult" life early, and I'm not sure if I'm mentally mature enough to handle myself on my own. I feel like I won't be able to function in society, at least not happily, and will end up falling on my face.

I'm in the same exact situation here. Graduating early but afraid to live on my own and unsure of the future. Well, I hope all goes well for ya.
05-26-2008 12:30 PM
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SoulRiser Offline
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Post: #49
Re: Why was your day awful?

Quote:I don't find myself interested in any subject that I can make a living out of, I feel doomed to live a mediocre life working in an industry that I can barely tolerate.

I felt that way until like... last year, or something. Look at it this way... any job you get is just a temporary way to make some $$ while you find out what you really want to do. There are bazillions of "subjects" out there that most people don't even know about.

Quote:I also kept thinking about how odd my personality is today, and feel like if I lose my current relationship (which might happen due to driving him away with my oddities), that there won't be anyone else willing to deal with me.

Sadhug
What you need is someone who likes you because of your oddities... not despite them.

"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." - Dalai Lama
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Click here if school makes you depressed or suicidal

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"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." - André Paul Guillaume Gide
"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination." - Albert Einstein
"I'm pretty sure there's a lot of beauty that can only be found in the mind of a lunatic." - TheCancer
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05-27-2008 05:12 AM
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random_name Offline
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Post: #50
Re: Why was your day awful?

because i got fucking insulted by a fucking stick insect in the fucking co-op for fucking bieng fucking fat whilst trying to buy a fucking bar of fucking chocolate for my fucking mum to fucking make fucking rice crspy buns for my fucking grandma. exceptionally pissed off. Ranting

Hidden stuff:
"A 'no' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble." - Mahatma Gandhi

"The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it."

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Ben Franklin

"when I was a kid I used to pray for a bicycle. then I realized that god doesn't work that way. so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness."
"I would rather die for something I believe in than live for anything else."
"What is the task of higher education? To make a man into a machine. What are the means employed? He is taught how to suffer being bored." – F W Nietzsche
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05-27-2008 06:42 AM
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cp Offline
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Post: #51
Re: Why was your day awful?

My stomach is hurtin for the second day in a row. Yay food poisoning. Yuck

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. - Albert Einstein
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05-28-2008 04:49 AM
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i-am-the-liquor Offline
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Post: #52
Re: Why was your day awful?

my old grade 8 teacher is trying ot get a job at the highschool, fucking bitch ruined my year that year, if she gets the job she will pay

I dont mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am,so thats how it comes out.- bill hicks
05-28-2008 08:20 AM
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Abandoning Ship Offline
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Post: #53
Re: Why was your day awful?

My air conditioning broke AGAIN and I got a really short haircut.
05-28-2008 08:08 PM
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HeartofShadows Offline
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Post: #54
Re: Why was your day awful?

My netgear router is fucking up and the internet on my laptop is down!! Ranting

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05-29-2008 11:40 PM
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Milk2Go Offline
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Post: #55
Re: Why was your day awful?

fragile-esteem Wrote:i just drank and cup of ice with 4 espresso shots without thinking about the calories Smile and then purged it :(
You fucking vomit what you eat?
You sick person...
06-02-2008 12:29 PM
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Suicidal-kun Offline
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Post: #56
Re: Why was your day awful?

BobManPerson Wrote:
fragile-esteem Wrote:i just drank and cup of ice with 4 espresso shots without thinking about the calories Smile and then purged it :(
You fucking vomit what you eat?
You sick person...
Wow, what a great way of putting it, that'll definitely make her feel better or stop doing it. Noo
06-02-2008 12:34 PM
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KittyKatBlack Offline
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Post: #57
Re: Why was your day awful?

Suicidal-kun Wrote:
BobManPerson Wrote:
fragile-esteem Wrote:i just drank and cup of ice with 4 espresso shots without thinking about the calories Smile and then purged it :(
You fucking vomit what you eat?
You sick person...
Wow, what a great way of putting it, that'll definitely make her feel better or stop doing it. Noo
I doubt he cares.
06-02-2008 12:35 PM
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Suicidal-kun Offline
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Post: #58
Re: Why was your day awful?

KittyKatBlack Wrote:I doubt he cares.
Probably not, but I just felt like pointing it out, because when I read that, it made me upset.
06-02-2008 12:36 PM
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youvebeenthunderstruck Offline
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Post: #59
Re: Why was your day awful?

Bobman, you're a fucking piece of shit.
06-02-2008 12:53 PM
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Michio-kun Offline
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Post: #60
Re: Why was your day awful?

oh lawd i lawl'd

To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders. - Chuang-tzu
The quieter you become, the more you can hear. - Baba Ram Dass
The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass. - Dogen
Great Faith. Great Doubt. Great Effort. - The three qualities necessary for training. - Zen saying
Possessing much knowledge is like having a thousand foot fishing line with a hook, but the fish is always an inch beyond the hook. - Zen saying
06-02-2008 12:55 PM
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