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To everyone who joined these forums at some point, and got discouraged by the negativity and left after a while (or even got literally scared off): I'm sorry.

I wasn't good enough at encouraging people to be kinder, and removing people who refuse to be kind. Encouraging people is hard, and removing people creates conflict, and I hate conflict... so that's why I wasn't better at it.

I was a very, very sensitive teen. The atmosphere of this forum as it is now, if it had existed in 1996, would probably have upset me far more than it would have helped.

I can handle quite a lot of negativity and even abuse now, but that isn't the point. I want to help people. I want to help the people who need it the most, and I want to help people like the 1996 version of me.

I'm still figuring out the best way to do that, but as it is now, these forums are doing more harm than good, and I can't keep running them.

Thank you to the few people who have tried to understand my point of view so far. I really, really appreciate you guys. You are beautiful people.

Everyone else: If after everything I've said so far, you still don't understand my motivations, I think it's unlikely that you will. We're just too different. Maybe someday in the future it might make sense, but until then, there's no point in arguing about it. I don't have the time or the energy for arguing anymore. I will focus my time and energy on people who support me, and those who need help.

-SoulRiser

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Losing the fire. And life stuff.
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SoulRiser Offline
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Posts: 18,240
Joined: Aug 2001
Thanks: 2669
Given 1978 thank(s) in 1208 post(s)
Post: #7
Re: Losing the fire. And life stuff.

Comfort is very tempting. If I wanted to, I could just sit on my ass and play with my sites all day and probably never work a day in my life. But I don't wanna stay in one place all the time, I've got people I wanna see (in other countries)... and that lights a fire under my ass that gets me to do the required stuff to get there. So, I guess you need to want something badly enough to get a fire lit under your ass. And I don't think you can just pick something to "want" out of some catalog... these things tend to be rather random.

Actually, this just reminded me of something someone else said:
(and after a lot of searching, I eventually found it, and it isn't as epic as I remembered it to be)
Quote:What happens to a man who has an assured income? Surely, he deteriorates. Have you not noticed it? Watch a man who has an assured income and you will soon see how rapidly his mind is withering away. He may have a big position, a reputation for cunning, but the full joy of life is gone out of him.

But I noticed something similar in myself. When I worked every day, I didn't do much at all in my spare time and I was bored a lot. Now that I'm on holiday, I have SOOOO MUCH to do that I don't ever even want to sleep. It's like you fall into this pattern and you get used to it and then everything that doesn't fit in the pattern seems alien and you don't feel like doing it... but when there's no pattern, anything goes. I can do whatever I want and I want to do everything... not sure this is totally related, but it seemed relevant Razz

But yeah, I have to give up that patternlessness at least temporarily if I want to get to go overseas and stuff.

Anyways, do you have some kind of journal? Maybe you should keep one, just to write down what's going on in your head every now and then. Maybe you'll find some fire somewhere in there.

Quote:But that's my point. There are only goals. It's goal after goal after goal. I heard that Bruce Lee said to never set goals for yourself because that means you're only setting limits for yourself, but I can't help but have goals because that's exactly how the world works!

Goals are fine, as long as they're worth something to you... like, something that is actually important to you. Say for example I set a goal that I want to become a good friend... when do I accomplish this goal? Never, really... because there's always something to improve upon, and even if you do sort of "get there", you still have to stay there, or else you lose it again. The journey is usually more important, like liq3 said... and at the very least it's almost always more interesting.

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Re: Losing the fire. And life stuff. - SoulRiser - 07-01-2008 05:07 PM

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