Death

[undergroundrevolutionary]

in the recent months of come to a general acceptance that ill die and im okay with that. When i was younger i would spend days weeks or even months depressed and scared about death but even if it were my time in an hour it would be okay because my life to this point has sucked but in my given situation i feel that i have thrived. Just wanted to verbalize that

[Gorebell]

Bah, fear of death. If you don't believe in the afterlife, why be afraid of something thing can bring no suffering? If you do believe in it, why be afraid of something that brings you to a higher plane of existence?

[undergroundrevolutionary]

well i used to be afraid because it appeared to me that once you died that was it its over and i kinda like conscious existence and that was a scary proposition for me.

[Gobinu]

Death is a friend Prabobaly the best thing we will ever "do". No point to be afraid the more u know the less u r afreaid of it.

[Bob Dole]

I'll admit I fear death a bit. It's not this overwhelming fear that I experienced a few years ago (and caused me to become a Fundamentalist Christian). But I still fear death. To me, it's really just a kind of fear of the unknown. WTF happens when I die? Nobody knows, and we all tend to be a bit scared of all of the possibilities, like how people were once afraid of the dark.

[Darthmat]

I'm awful with uncertainty. Like, really, really, bad. Eternal uncertainty? Awful.
I fear death. Going from my own little bubble that is this life into whatever lays ahead... terrifying.

[Pinko]

ENTROPY.

[SoulRiser]

I used to be scared shitless of death... then one day I gave it some thought. I figured that I don't know what happens after I die, so why worry? I can't possibly know what will happen. As long as I live as well as I possibly can with the information I have, what more can anyone expect of me? ... I still don't want to die though, but it doesn't scare the hell out of me anymore. I just like being alive.

[HeartofShadows]

Damn am I the only one who finds not existing anymore to be more comforting than a afterlife?

[SoulRiser]

How would not existing be comforting? Technically you wouldn't feel anything at all...

[Gorebell]

Exactly. Ultimate peace.

[Darthmat]

Peace =! nothingness

How can you have peace if you don't know it?

[HeartofShadows]

because when you don't exist you never have to feel pain or suffer anymore. In a afterlife you live forever existing and for all we know the afterlife could be like this world where you struggle to survive but eternal.

[Pinko]

Heart of Shadows Wrote:because when you don't exist you never have to feel pain or suffer anymore. In a afterlife you live forever existing and for all we know the afterlife could be like this world where you struggle to survive but eternal.

If your in a struggle for survival in the after life does that not defeat the purpose of being dead in the first place?

[Michio-kun]

Well, I think we're all making the mistake of reifying death. You're trying to give nothingness positive condition which some philosophers, notably from Daniel Kolak who seems to write a lot about metaphysics and personal identity.

When trying to describe nothingness in words, it seems one is creating a paradox. The experience of death is not an experience, neither is it not an experience, I guess it just is. And unfortunately language is always a barrier when trying to discuss deeply metaphysical topics because we "run up against the walls of ourselves" (Wittgenstein). It's just simply impossible to describe what nothingness is. Whenever someone starts saying things like, "Death is better than ____", "Death is like ______", "Nothingness is ultimate peace" etc. you are reifying nothingness and it's meaningless to do so.

I'll have more thoughts about this later on. It's pretty interesting.

[Ahab]

I'm obsessed when people die, but other than that I could give two shits about when, where, and how I die, provided if it has to be a painful one I can become psychotic enough by then to spit my blood in the face of my murderers for the fun of it.

[the forgotten]

I'm determined to die interfestingly, spontaneous combustion is a dream.

[Milk2Go]

BobManPerson will live to be precisely 44 years, 7 months, and 23 days old.

On that seemingly unimportant day, he'll be wandering down a dirt road (cause that's all the South has and will ever have, if I'm not mistaken) when all of a sudden a leprechaun will burst out the brush and beckon him along. Thinking this little green man just might show him something good to rant about, BobManPerson follows curiously. Soon the leprechaun leads him to a huge cedar tree with its trunk hollowed out. Inside is a particularly hot leprechaun woman who wishes to pleasure him orally. BobManPerson consents with absolutely no hesitation, and the leprechaun woman is giving him the best head he'd ever gotten.

All of a sudden, she thrusts a syringe from her pocket and jabs it into his leg. Since he's enjoying the fellatio, he doesn't notice at first, and doesn't notice at all until he's walking back down the down road. Just as he's wondering why there is a syringe protruding from his thigh, the little leprechaun girl that had just sucked his dick comes running after him.

"Oh, BobManPerson!" she says. "Don't go so soon. You are needed in the land of dwarves."

She touches the syringe and suddenly they are both teleported to a majestic fantasy kingdom. Just as BobManPerson is gazing around at the bright purple sky and blue straw houses, a dark evil witch appears in front of him.

"BobManPerson," she says in a low, stern voice. "We have been expecting you."

But he shrugs, saying he must return to his wife back in Macon, since she'd be all alone without him as he was never able to get her pregnant, so they have no children.

"Your wife?" the witch asks. "Why, your wife is right here."

She points to where two evil looking demons have Lady BobManPerson all tied up and gagged. BobManPerson runs over to her and asks if she's okay. Just then, the evil looking demons untie her, and she promptly slaps him.

"You bastard!" she cries. "How could you let that leprechaun give you head? I thought only I could do that."

BobManPerson stammers an unintelligible response, but she only laughs mockingly at him.

"I suppose you have no way of knowing she's my cousin."

BobManPerson blinks. "Cousin?" he asks.

"That's right," she says. "Didn't you know? I'm part leprechaun. Not a lot of us South Africans are leprechauns. What do you think the apartheid thing was really about, after all? Anyway, you have been called here to the land of dwarves because you know something."

"Of course, I do," he states pompously. "I'm BobManPerson. I know everything and see everything."

"You need to go beat up the Nasty Elf that has been terrorizing this land. Can you do it?"

BobManPerson would never pass up an opportunity to beat up elves, so he agrees and starts off among the blue straw houses until he sees a big cave opening with a sign that says "Elf Cave". He enters, finds a bunch of elves in there, and beats them to bloody pulps. The dwarves rejoice and have a spectacular feast. The girl leprechaun blows him again, too, so all is good.

When he gets up to stretch, he spots a flannel-shirted man holding a gun, obviously some redneck.

"Howdy, y'all," the redneck asks. "I'ma goin' huntin'." With that, he starts shooting all the dwarves.

Soon enough, the only ones left alive are Lord and Lady BobManPerson, and the redneck.

"Ya gonna die," the redneck declares, aiming his gun at them.

"I won't let you!" BobManPerson's wife shouts, tackling the redneck and wrestling him to the ground. But in the process, Lady BobManPerson and the redneck are getting it on.

"Cheatin' bitch!" BobManPerson shouts.

But the redneck, even in the middle of the passionate sex, snatches his gun and shoots BobManPerson in the chest.


• • • • •


BobManPerson wakes up in a hospital with an old white mage staring down at him.

"I have healed you," the mage states. "Now go. Rejoin the party downstairs and save our land."

So BobManPerson struts out of the hospital to find these four red-headed fighters. They all start waking off into the wilderness.

"We are almost to the evil castle!" one fighter declares. "We shall finally save the land."

"Hold on, there's a computer," another fighter points out, when they see a computer built into a tree.

Not missing an opportunity, BobManPerson logs onto his SnipeMe account and writes a rant about it all, reciting it to the amazed fighters.

"Wow, you're fucking brilliant!" one of them compliments.

All of a sudden, the tree with the computer shakes, and out pops a stunningly beautiful tree nymph.

"You have defiled my tree!" she shouts.

"What? With my rant? Get over it." BobManPerson scoffs.

"No, the rant was good," the nymph admits. "But you misspelled the word 'guarantee'! It's spelled G-U-A-R-A-N-T-E-E, not G-A-R-A-U-N-T-E-D or however the fuck you spelled it, you stupid asshole. Die, bitch!"

With that, she casts a very powerful flame dart from her finger and zaps him into a pile of ashes.

BobManPerson awakes in a haze to find himself in his humble Macon home, sitting on a couch. What a weird dream! But just as he opens his front door, there are about a hundred tree nymphs just like the one before. When he shuts his front door again, wondering again what is going on, a greyish blur appears behind him.

"Gaaaleeen," a spooky voice echoes. BobManPerson gasps to see the ghost of none other than late NYRA prez Alex Koroknay-Palicz.

"Gaaaleen," the deceased Alex speaks again. "Go on a quest, BobManPerson. Avenge my death."

"Avenge your death?" BobManPerson asks. "How do I avenge your death when you died because THABOAT had enough of your sappy shit and turned carnivorous and devoured you when you were crossing the Mason-Dixon line?"

Alex glares at him with a sad sigh. "THABOAT lives on," he declares. "She was such a good car. What a wonderful car. She turned evil because of a dark magic spell. You must go to the junk yard where she rests now and cure her of this evil. Then I shall be avenged and may rest in peace."

So BobManPerson finds this junkyard, and there's the very old piece of shit Ford, with THABOAT printed on its Michigan plate. A few tree nymphs are dancing naked around it, chanting.

"I'll help," states a courageous voice behind BobManPerson. He turns around to see none other than Cartoon Goddess.

"Holy shit!" he reacts. "I haven't seen or heard from you since we were fighting ogres in Estonia."

Cartoon Goddess then just runs up to the nymphs, throws off her clothes, and starts dancing and chanting with them.

Meanwhile, THABOAT sits dormant. BobManPerson sets his jaw resolutely and goes forward to the car. As he's walking, he slips on an old Linux disc that was lying there for some reason, falls backwards, and cracks his head on a gigantic rock.

And that is how BobManPerson will die.

Hidden stuff:

Stolen from http://www.snipeme.com/misc.php?loc=deathofgalen.

[youvebeenthunderstruck]

FUCKING RIGHT IT WAS STOLEN FROM SNIPEME

[i-am-the-liquor]

george carlin said something along the lines that when people see there life flashing before there eyes it goes to teh point where they started to die and the movie restarted and nobody could die, or something like that...dont have the book handy. eatherway,we live,we die,we rot.

[StanleyChubbs]

My single greatest fear of death would be leaving all the people I love and them mourning. I believe in an afterlife and hopefully I'll kick it with Jesus, so I'm happy. As for people who WANT no afterlife, well, though there's no more suffering, there's also no more happiness.

[HeartofShadows]

Whatever works for you stanley..

[Steven]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PiZSFIVFiU

George Carlin - comedian, philosopher, God

[arthasmenethil]

therenagadeoffunk Wrote:eatherway,we live,we die,we rot.

That line goes a long with the song I'm listening to right now. It's "Wormfood" by Six Feet Under(Chris Barnes kicks ass). The song is actually about rotting in a grave.

I'm not too scared to die. I don't really believe or disbelieve in an afterlife. Whatever happens when I die happens regardless of what I believe.

[HeartofShadows]

christillusion Wrote:

therenagadeoffunk Wrote:eatherway,we live,we die,we rot.

Whatever happens when I die happens regardless of what I believe.

I agree perfectly.